Love Me Tonight
Chapter 14: Vedanta Villas

It was a beautiful evening of December 18th, another Friday that was extremely critical as once more Sameer Maheshwari’s life was on the brink of a very major change. It was the last day in Naina’s apartment, tomorrow they would be moving to his house… Vedanta Villas… A place he had wished would be their home… And now hopefully this dream will come true. Naina had willingly agreed to move after the incident that happened a week ago, and her concerns were genuine. He really didn’t have any reason to worry… But yet he did… Everything had been going on so well. They hadn’t really progressed in their relationship, nor had they talked about their past or anything else, but still… The calm that was prevalent between them was soothing to his soul. Her rented apartment was small, it seemed to automatically reduce the distance between them. But his villa was big, a sprawling 5BHK, he was concerned that the space in their home might increase the space between them. Silly, he knew, but he couldn’t help his worries.

Naina on the other hand seemed oblivious of his turbulent thoughts as she slurped on the orange popsicle. As it was the last night here, she had demanded to indulge in her first ever pregnancy delight once more. He kept an eye on the road and a hand at the small on her back to guide her. When they reached the end of their usual night walk route, she was done with the popsicle and threw the stick away in a nearby dustbin. Her eyes fell on the park, she paused as always to look at it. There was no light inside, but the street lamps outside were enough to illuminate some sections of the park. She tilted her head as if thinking something, and then turned to him, “mujhe andar jaana hai.”

He blinked, snapping out of his gloomy thoughts, “what?”

“Mujhe andar jaana hai”, she repeated, “tumne ek baar kaha tha mujhse ke tum mujhe andar le jaa sakte ho. Toh, le chalo.”

He sucked in a sharp breath, perfectly recalling the day when she had expressed her wish of sitting inside the park like a normal family or couple would, and he had offered to take her inside even though the park gate was closed. She had been skeptical of his offer to help her across the low perimeter wall, and in not so many words had told him that she didn’t really trust him enough at that time to take care of her and her child. But now… Today she was asking him to take her inside, once more not using the exact words but telling him that she trusted him. A small smile curved his lips as he nodded.

He quickly checked the top of the wall to ensure there was nothing that could hurt her, and then without a word wrapped his arms under her hip and lifted her. She grabbed hold of his shoulder first, and then when he moved to the wall, she placed her palms on the top and he hefted her up until she was sitting on the broad parapet wall. Grinning up at her, he grabbed the edge of the wall and lifted himself up deftly and with such a ease that it surprised her. Her eyes riveted to the way his biceps bulged, the way the veins in his forearms stood out as his hands supported his entire weight, or the way his body moved in a fluid motion as he turned sideways and sat on the wall beside her. Crossing his long legs over, he promptly jumped inside the park, and then lifted her down as if she weighed nothing.

Her heart was beating in a rapid pace marveling at the ease with which he handled her body, and her treacherous brain decided to join her heart as it suddenly formed an image of Sameer carrying her in his arms to a bed that was decorated with the prettiest of flowers… The sweet visual morphed into a sensuous one where she had her legs wrapped around his hips, and he had her body trapped in his steel hold as he pressed her back to a bookshelf in her library while devouring her mouth… Her breath stuttered at the next image of her on all her fours, naked, with and equally naked Sameer thrusting into her from behind, while her visual was limited to his hands that were near her head, the veins popping, his long fingers spread on the sheet, a bead of sweat rolling down his wrist…

Suddenly a sound brought her out of her haze, and she realized it was Sameer snapping his fingers in-front of her… Fingers… His perfect long fingers, with clean rounded nails, and those damned rings… She blinked and suddenly she was seeing herself sprawled naked on a bed with satin sheets while he hovered over her, dressed in a suit, his tie hanging near her breasts, his eyes dark with passion as those perfect fingers moved inside her, the cool metal of his ring touching her sensitive flesh with each pass…

“Naina”, he called out, worried at the way her eyes had glazed over. He couldn’t understand what had happened. One moment she was perfectly fine, and he had been expecting her to explore the park that she had always desired to enter. But suddenly she was rooted to one spot, staring into the distance, her eyes hazy… He was extremely concerned. Was she not well? Did he make some mistake while helping her across the wall? Was she hurt?

He cupped her face tenderly, “Naina, are you okay?”

She blinked several times, shook her head thrice, licked her lips, drew in a breath and then looked into his eyes, “h…haan… bas… kahin kho gai thi…”

“Mujhe to tension ho gai”, he murmured, relieved that she was okay.

This time she was able to manage a comforting smile, “tension mat lo… I am fine… Chalo, jhule pe bethte hai.”

As she sat on the small wooden seat of the swing, he kept staring at the contraption with trepidation. Personally he had never sat on such a thing, but when he was in school he had seen girls sit on it, and more than that he had also seen girls fall from it. When he was younger he had seen boys stand in the playground and laugh at the girls who fell from the swing; and when he was a teenager, he had seen boys waiting in anticipation to see the girls on swing claiming that as the swing went up they could see a glimpse of beneath their skirt. Both the scenarios had made him uneasy so he had stayed away, occupied in other sports. But he hadn’t forgotten… And now Naina was sitting on a swing… Agreed, she was wearing a salwar-kameez with no chance of sneak-peak to any roving eyes, and the park was empty, but still there was the hazard of falling. He stood behind her, clutching the iron chains tight, trying to stabilize the swing as much as possible.

She frowned, “Sameer… chodo bhi chain ko… jhula jhulega kaise warna…”

He cleared his throat, “is it necessary to sit on this thing?”

Perplexed, she tilted her head back to look at him, “huh? Why?”

“You could fall”, he voiced his concern, “I have seen so many girls fall in my school… In Nainital.”

She laughed, “yes… I have fallen too… jab main choti thi aur mere paav zameen tak nahi pahonchte the… Par ab thodi na girungi?”

He tried to reason, “risk kyun lena hai?”

She pleaded, “please na Sameer… thodi der… ekdum dheere dheere jhulungi, promise!”

He couldn’t refuse her and so he tried his best to control the momentum of the swing, and to his relief she didn’t object to the slow pace. Rather she leaned the side of her head on the chain, and closed her eyes, humming to an old hindi song. He smiled, wishing with all his heart that tomorrow, the shift to his house would contribute to increasing the closeness between them.

Bags were packed, the spare furniture that had been lent to Naina arranged to be delivered to their owners accordingly, the mattress was left for the next tenant, and the other remaining things were packed in cartons. Naina’s landlord and his wife had been informed in advance of their decision of leaving, and they came over in the morning with a box of homemade sweets to wish them luck on their journey ahead, and also to tell them that they were welcome at their home anytime they wished. That whole week, true to Naina’s deduction, the people in the society had kept staring at them whenever they came or left, but as soon as they would look at them, their eyes would lower, failing to meet their gaze. It gave Naina immense satisfaction, and amused Sameer to no end.

Anmol had come over to help them early in the morning, and brought breakfast packed from home. A small tempo had been hired by Sameer, in which things were loaded by 11am… Anmol left for the library once more… And the couple ascended Sameer’s car finally moving out of the small apartment 103 of Shivshakti Housing Society.

The entire way to Vendanta Villas, Naina and Sameer were lost in their own thoughts. Sameer kept thinking about how the upcoming days were now going to be critical for the balance of their relationship. He would have to put even more effort… Bhawna tai would get to know about Naina’s pregnancy, and he would have to make her understand to not pressurize Naina to do anything in the name of ritual. His office was going to be more and more hectic now that they had crossed the mid-December mark, and there was the company event as well. Additionally, the fact that he had not yet told Nanu about his wedding was weighing heavily on his conscience. He didn’t care about anyone else, but Nanu had been his source of comfort and pillar of support since he was a child. Not telling him about such a life altering event was not something he had ever imagined doing. He didn’t know how he would go about it yet, but somehow he would have to make Naina trust him enough to talk about her past, her family… Only then he would be able to breach the topic of informing his Nanu. And bua-dadi… She was also waiting to meet Naina again… Never in his life had he had to deal with such monumental and delicate problems. He had no idea whom to seek guidance from…

Naina on the other hand was somewhere in between unsurety and anxiety. In her anger at the way she was treated by the society people she had impulsively decided to move to Sameer’s home. At that time his home had been the only option in her mind, and she had declared they would move there. After that for a couple of days she had not been worried so much, but then she had started to wonder if she had made the right decision. Was it wise to shift to his home? But now… today they were on their way to his home… And she was still not able to decide if it was the right move. What if he took this move as permission to move ahead in this relationship? What if he thought that they had resolved everything between them with this move? Also… his home held memories of  that one night that was close to her heart… No matter what doubt she had had on Sameer’s character; no matter the negative things that had happened following that night; no matter the difficulties in their relationship; that night had always been the happiest night of her life. She had not been able to condemn herself for following her heart that night. But now that she was going back into that house again, she didn’t know what would happen… She didn’t want to tarnish the memories of that night. Maybe she should have suggested moving to a totally different place – find a new apartment on rent and move there… That would have been a better option probably… On one hand she wondered if they would be able to create new memories; and on the other hand she feared that this sudden change would destroy those few treasured memories.

The entrance to Vendanta villas looked as magnificent as she remembered. As he parked in the driveway, Naina looked around at the well manicured lawn & flower beds. She hadn’t paid attention to it last time… When she had brought him home that night it was dark outside, plus all her attention had been focused on guiding a drunken Sameer inside the house; and then in the morning she had been in a hurry to escape the same house. He came around the car towards her, watching her take in the surroundings.With some hesitation he held her hand, “Naina…” She took a deep breath and met his eyes. He tried to keep a reassuring smile on his face, “welcome home Mrs. Maheshwari…”

Her eyes widened and she started to say something, but was interrupted by the sound of the wooden doors opening. They turned towards the sound to see a woman standing there dressed in a purple saree worn in traditional marathi style, with an aarti thali in her hand.

Sameer groaned, mentally slapping his forehead, “oh no… Bhavna Tai.”

Naina frowned in confusion, “kaun?”

“Bhavna Tai”, he explained, “woh… kaam karne aate hai roz…”

Just then the woman chided, “sahab… udhar kyun khade ho? Memsahab ko leke aaona.”

Naina looked to her husband for explanation once more. He grimaced, “haan… unko pata hai hamari shaadi ke baare me… Please… I promise Tai kisiko nahi batayegi… Aur ab hum yahan rahenge toh unko pata toh chalega hi na.”

She understood the logic behind his explanation, but couldn’t hide the nervousness she felt as they walked up to the door. Sure enough, the wide smile on Bhavna Tai’s face turned into confusion as she got a good look at her. Oblivious to the situation, Sameer greeted, “aree Tai… maine socha nahi tha aap iss waqt yahan hongi.”

The woman smiled hesitantly, “woh sahab… aapne bataya tha ke aaj aap memsahab ko leke aa rahe hai toh maine socha ghar me koi toh hona chahiye nayi dulhan ka swagat karneko.”

“Thank you so much Tai”, he replied, “toh… aarti kariye na… yahi hai meri Naina… Meri biwi…”

Naina smiled as Tai did her aarti, and applied haldi-kumkum tika on her forehead. Together they stepped inside the house… Naina felt as if her heart had stopped. The scenes from that night danced before her eyes – stumbling inside the house, Sameer rushing towards the kitcher, rushing to find him with his head under the kitchen sink, that first kiss… The kiss that turned her completely helpless against her heart. Her hands clutched her dupatta, trying to control her thundering heartbeats.

Sameer on the other hand felt apprehensions surrounding him… His gaze fell on the sofa and chairs where he had so desperately searched for her purse, on the coffee table where he had found her letter… He could see himself searching room to room for her… Panic bubbled inside his chest and he felt as if the moment was slipping from his hands, as if she was going to leave again, as if he would lose her again…

Desperation made him reach out next to him and grab Naina’s hand in his… She jerked at the sudden touch, but in the next second returned the tight hold… Both their hearts started to calm down slowly as if they found solace in the grip of their fingers… Assured of each other’s presence the panic lost its hold on them.

Bhavna Tai observed the happenings with a curious eye… When she had gotten to know that her sahab had married the girl he had been pining for, she had been extremely happy. But then in a few days she had started to wonder why the hurry… If they wanted to get married why their families had not been involved at all. She knew his sahab didn’t have a good relationship with his mother, but his nanaji was a pious soul. And what about memsahab’s family? Still she had thought that it wasn’t something she should be concerned with as long as her sahab was happy. But now upon seeing the girl she was once more dubious… If she had married her sahab why didn’t she wear any mangalsutra or sindur? In fact, the girl in-front of her didn’t even look like a new bride… Something didn’t feel right…

Sameer was starting to get unnerved once again by the silence, and so he spoke up, “Naina… tum… tum betho na… main gaadi se samaan le aata hun… Aur tempo wale bhi pahonchte hi honge.”

She nodded, perching cautiously on the nearest chair. Bhavna Tai did her duty and brought water for both of them. As Sameer was bringing in a few small bags from the car, the tempo also arrived. The cartons and suitcases were placed in the living room, and Sameer settled the payment. He grinned at his wife, “yeh lo… saara samaan aa gaya… main na abhi room me rakhke aata hun.”

Naina’s heart started an erratic rhythm on hearing about the room, and her palms started to sweat. Her vision clouded and she started to feel dizzy… The next instant Sameer was beside her, “hey… Naina… kya hua?”

She rubbed her temple, blinking her eyes, “uh… kuch nahi… bas thoda chakkar aa gaya.”

“Ohoo… I am so stupid”, Sameer cursed, “tumne itni jaldi breakfast kiya tha phir uske baad se kuch nahi khaya.” He looked towards the elder woman and instructed, “Tai aap khana laga do… hum pehle kha lenge phir samaan shift kar lenge.”

Bhavna Tai did as instructed, her wise and curious gaze scrutinizing the unknown entity in her sahab’s house. Naina ate small bites of roti-sabji, all the while lost in thought. As soon as Sameer had spoken about shifting her things to his room, she had felt a suffocating sensation inside her… In her mind she knew that she was Sameer’s wife so it was expected of her to be in his room. In fact since the day they had gotten married, they had been sleeping on the same mattress. She even accepted the fact that she seemed to sleep better with him beside her… But that room… She didn’t have the strength to be in that room with him…

“Naina”, Sameer’s voice broke through her thoughts, “tum theek toh ho na? Jab se aaye hai kuch bol hi nahi rahi ho… Any problem?”

She took a few sips of water, biting her lower lip in contemplation and looked around. Bhavna Tai was in the kitchen, out of hearing range for now… Clearing her throat she asked, “yahan ek se zyada kamre honge na?”

His brow furrowed in confusion, “uh… yes… It’s 5 BHK technically… I mean, maine ek room me office plus study type me convert kiya hai. Master bedroom hai ek, aur baki teen guest rooms jo usually itne use hi nahi hue kabhi. Hall aur dining area toh yahin hai, aur wahan left side pe kitchen.”

She licked her lips, tapping her fingers nervously on the table, “toh iska matlab… uh… Sameer woh…”

He reached out, placing a comforting hand on hers, “what’s wrong Naina? Jo man me woh bol do… Hume itne din ho gaye saath rehte hue… Kya baat hai, bolo…”

Drawing in a deep breath, she blurted, “main alag kamre me rehna chahti hun.”

In the silence that followed only the sound of utensils being washed in the kitchen could be heard. After a minute, Sameer asked, “alag? Kyun Naina?”

“Bas aisai”, she responded, not meeting his eyes, “mere ghar me toh ek hi kamra tha… aur itne din tumhe farsh pe sulana theek nahi lag raha tha… toh maine socha shaadi ho gai toh tum bhi gadde pe so sakte ho. Par yahan toh itne saare kamre hai… It’s not compulsory na… Waise bhi hum woh typical husband-wife toh hai nahi…”

He felt a part of his heart crumble, “typical husband-wife? Naina… Maine kaha tha na tumse ke chahe koi reeti-riwaz hue ho ya na hue ho, tum meri patni ho…”

She quipped, “mujhe pata hai main tumhari patni hun… Lekin tumne yeh bhi kaha tha na ke hamara rishta waise hi aage badhega jaise main chahti hun… Toh mujhe nahi lagta ke abhi tak hum uss stage pe pahonche hai ke hum saath soye… Majboori me saath rehna alag baat hai… yahan itna bada ghar hai tumhara… yahan toh koi majboori nahi hai.’

He kept staring at her, unable to believe what he was hearing. Were they moving backwards again? What happened to the comfort they had developed? Hadn’t she exhibited her trust in him just last night? What was wrong with her now? Why was she so nervous? The way she was talking was not how his Naina talked to him… And there was no compulsion to sleep together, like she was saying… Even after agreeing to marry him she had made him sleep on the floor in her living room. She had only accepted him beside her, on the same mattress, after she had started to trust in their relationship. Then why the sudden backtrack? He needed to find the real reason… And the way she was avoiding his eyes made it clear he won’t be able to get the truth out of her right now. Maybe he should respect her wishes for now, make her comfortable, and then he could try and find out the real reason for her refusal to stay with him in the same room.

Strengthening his heart for this new struggle, he smiled at her, “theek hai Naina… agar tum sach me yahi chahti ho toh yahi sahi… main tumhara saara samaan ek guest room me arrange karwa deta hun. Happy?”

She looked at him with a mixture of confusion and desperation, but even as she nodded indicating her happiness, there wasn’t a glimpse of it in her eyes. True to his word, he instructed Bhavna Tai to arrange her things in the room right next to his own bedroom. The older woman was shocked to hear this, but obeyed the instructions without any question, though she didn’t fail to throw a disappointing glance at Naina. Thirty minutes later, Sameer guided her to the guest room and asked her to take a rest. As he closed the door, and came back to the living room, he was met by the questioning look of Bhavna Tai.

He sighed, “Tai… baad me baat kare?”

The woman placed her hands on her hips, “dekho sahab… maine na iss ladki ke liye aapko rote hue dekha hai. Toh aap yeh apne business wale petre mere pe naa apnao. Sirf mereko itna bata do ke aapki shaadi ho gai hai toh aise alag kamre me kyun reh rahi hai woh?”

“Tai please”, he pleaded, “dheere boliye… Naina sunn legi toh use bura lagega.”

Bhavna Tai lowered her voice, but the tone became harsher, “haan toh lage bura… Maine socha aapka ghar bas gaya, kitni khushi ki baat hai. Poore maholle me mithai baati thi maine jab aapne shaadi ka bataya. Par yeh kaisi shaadi… Na mangalsutra hai, na sindur hai… Aur aap bataiye sahab, konsi nayi dulhan aise pheeke rang ke kapde pehenke ghumti hai.”

Sameer rubbed his hands over his face, “Bhavna Tai… Main aapki bahot izzat karta hun… Aapko apna parivaar maanta hun… Par please, Naina ke baare me kuch bhi ulta-seedha mat kahiye, woh mujhse suna nahi jayega. Bahot kuch hua hai inn dino me jo aapko pata nahi hai. Main aur Naina khud apne rishte ko abhi tak theek se sambhal nahi paaye hai… Aap toh usse aaj hi mili hai, main itne dino se uske saath reh raha hun… Uska dard, uska darr, sab dekha hai. Sab kuch abhi aapko bata bhi nahi sakta, bas please, itna dhyan rakhiye ke main Naina se bahot pyaar karta hun… Aur main jaanta hun ke woh bhi utna hi pyaar karti hai, ya shayad usse bhi zyada. Isiliye usko waqt lagega mujhpe bharosa karne me. Tab tak jo Naina chahti hai wahi hoga.”

Bhavna Tai’s expressions softened a bit, “par sahab… aise alag kamre me…”

“Toh kya ho gaya”, he argued, “kuch hafte pehle toh mere saath bhi nahi thi… Ab toh mere saath hai… Mere ghar me hai… Bas kamra hi alag hai… Itni si baat se koi farq nahi padta. Aap bas Naina ka pura dhyan rakhiye… Uski health theek rehna bahot zaroori hai.”

Tai queried, “sehat ko kya hua? Memsahab bimar hai kya?”

This time Sameer’s smile was wide and proud, “bimar nahi hai… pregnant hai… Main papa banne wala hun.”

Bhavna Tai’s eyes rounded in surprise and she quickly covered her mouth to muffle her gasp of happiness, “papa? Sachchi…?” He nodded, grinning ear to ear. Tai clasped her hand, tears misting her eyes, “bahot khushi wali baati aapne sahab… main na aaj shaam ko hi bappa ke mandir jaake prasad chadaungi… Aur ab aap bilkul fikar na karo. Main memsahab ka dhyan bilkul waise hi rakhungi jaise apni bahu Shanti ka rakha tha…”

Sameer sat there, smiling happily as Tai fluttered about in the kitchen, making plans to cook laddoos for Naina’s health, writing a list of new ingredients needed in the kitchen to handle pregnancy related food, and also enquiring about Naina’s allergies and food preferences. An hour later, Sameer changed into some comfortable tracks & t-shirt, and went to the guest room… Naina was sleeping soundly on one side of the big bed, the quilt pulled up to her chin to counter the chill from the air-conditioner, and one hand was peeking out slightly. He sat on the floor next to the bed, gently holding onto the hand that was visible from beneath the quilt, and brought it up to his lips…

Brushing a soft kiss on her fingers, he gazed her relaxed expressions, and mumbled in a low voice, “mujhe ab tak pata nahi tumne kyun alag rehne ki zidd ki hai… but I promise Naina, tumhara jo bhi darr hai na main woh dur karke rahunga. Nothing can come between us… Maine wada kiya tha tumse ke kabhi tumhara saath nahi chodunga, toh tum kisi bhi kamre me raho Mrs. Maheshwari, tumhara yeh pati tumhara peecha nahi chodne wala…”