The roads leading to Nirmal Jyoti Society were eerily empty; a few mongrels roamed trying to find a sheltered spot for the night. One of the street lamps flickered, producing a strange ticking sound that vibrated in the air. The watchman had wrapped himself in double shawl, and pulled on a monkey cap, and still he shivered slightly. The December night was the coldest yet, and the woman who should have been cocooned in the memory of her lover’s warmth, was sitting huddled on the bed shedding tears.
Preeti sat next to Naina on bed, consoling her, “kitna royegi aur? Bas karna. Dekh raat ke 1 baj rahe hai. Tujhe toh Taiji ki aadat pata hai na… mat dhyan de.”
Naina tried to wipe off her tears, “main thik hun, tu so jaa. Kal kaam pe bhi jaana hai tujhe.”
“Tu chup kar pehle”, she instructed, “warna main abhi jijaji ko phone karti hun.”
“Nahii”, Naina immediately jerked up, “Sameer ko kuch mat batana. Tu samajh nahi rahi hai ke kya hoga.”
Preeti frowned, “shayad tere jitna nahi lekin thoda bahot toh main bhi samajhti hun jijaji ko, woh saara maamla thik se suljha denge.”
Naina shook her head and turned sideways to lie down, “so jaa tu, aur mujhe bhi sone de. Kal tak sab thik ho jayega.”
Preeti tried in vain for some time to make her sister understand and comfort her but nothing worked. Finally, she fell asleep. Sleep was however far away from Naina’s eyes tonight. Taiji’s words echoed in her ears. She had tolerated everything till now, heard everything, and stayed quite. But today, Taiji had raised questions on her relationship with Sameer. She recalled how she had marched inside as soon as Chachaji left for some work in evening. Taiji was angry, disturbed, and still shocked at the loss of her door. She hadn’t been able to say anything to Sameer, and she couldn’t say anything in front of Chachaji. But as soon as she had realized that it was just her, Preeti and Chachiji at home, she had marched in with an agenda. Seeking out Naina in the kitchen, she had gripped her hand and turned her around immediately questioning what kind of relationship she had with Sameer since all these years.
“Pata nahi pyaar ke naam pe kya kya gul khilaye honge. Kaalej me itni chut jo de rakhi thi isko. Aur iss ladki ke lakshan toh dekho, sakool se hi iske laari-lappa chal rahe the. Neva! Aaj padosi ke saamne gaal pe haath lagaya, kal gale lagayega. Nirmala ben ke saamne hamare khandaan ki puri izzat paani me mila diya iss kulakshini ne.”
Chachiji had tried to intervene, but Taiji has just ignored her objection, and same with Preeti. No one had been able to stop the venom spewing out of Taiji’s mouth.
“Sach sach bata kya karte the college me. Aur ab jab woh apne saath le jaata hai toh kya chalta hai. Shaadi hone tak ke liye kuch baki bhi rakha hai ke nahi? Oh bai! Bina maa ki bachchi aisi charitraheen hi hoti hai. Tu dekh lena Bela, yeh hamari naak katvayegi mohalle me. Sab kuch ho jayega, par shaadi nahi hogi iski. Ek toh aisi shakal, upar se baap ke paas ek futi kaudi nahi. Aisi ladkiyon ke haath me mehendi kabhi nahi sajti, bas chehre pe kalikh sajti hai.”
Feeling suffocated she wrapped herself in a shawl and went outside in the balcony. Her head felt heavy, and she wondered how to deal with the situation. She had somehow borne all the taunts till date, but this was too much for her. She didn’t doubt Sameer, she knew Taiji was wrong. Sameer would never leave her. If physical relationship was all Sameer wanted, he would have never refrained in college, and he wouldn’t have refrained now. He had protected her always. Even in Mt. Abu, when he had thought that he didn’t love her, still he had protected her. She had always felt safe, secured, cherished with Sameer.
And now Taiji had raised questions on that relationship. Even though she would never dare to say all these things to Sameer, but wasn’t it enough that she thought like that. Why had she stayed quite? Why had she not defended herself and her relationship? Taiji had not only insulted her but her husband too. Suddenly she started to shake, not from cold, and neither from fear, but from anger. Her mind screamed that it was wrong. Everything that Taiji had said was wrong – not just factually, but morally too. Taiji might be elder of the family, but she had no right to raise questions on the one thing she valued the most – her love for Sameer.
Along with anger, she also felt a sense of disappointment in herself. She felt as if she had let down Sameer. He had been her shield for so long, and she had thought she had broken her shackles when she had confronted her father, but now again she felt tied up. Claustrophobic – that’s how she felt even at the balcony. Her only freedom, her only breath of fresh air was not with her. And right at his moment she craved for nothing more than him.
Aaj tak iss ghar me jo hota aaya hai usme maine kuch nahi kaha, lekin ab agar baat tumse judi hogi toh main kahunga, kyunki woh mera haq hai. Aur tum mujhse chupakar mera haq cheen rahi ho.
Sameer’s fiercely determined voice vibrated through her, and she shuddered. What should she do? Was it really okay to share these things with Sameer? What would happen if he loses his temper? Immediately next moment, she recalled how she had not hesitated even for a second before telling him everything about the dowry discussion and how her father was being so unreasonable. Why hadn’t she thought about his temper then? Instead, she had herself assured Preeti that Sameer doesn’t do anything in anger anymore. She had believed that Sameer would deal with the matter maturely, in a way that it is resolved without hurting her Chachaji’s sentiments. Then why not now? At that time she had already confronted her father, and she hadn’t exactly thought how Sameer would behave with him. But she had never built the courage to speak up to Taiji for herself. She had defended Preeti in her own way, she had also fooled Taiji with her talks multiple times, but she had never spoken up for herself. Was that it? Was that what was holding her back? Didn’t she trust Sameer enough? No, that was definitely not the case. Then why couldn’t she tell him everything? Today too, he had heard what Taiji said to her, and had not uttered a word, but punished Taiji in a way that had been perfectly effective. His shot and his revenge both had been right on target – bull’s eye.
That was what had resulted in that insulting outburst. The broken door was not just an inanimate object, but it was her pride, which Sameer had shattered. Chachaji hadn’t said anything in this matter, Chachiji also hadn’t uttered one word, Preeti had grinned. She was somehow sure that all three of them knew that Sameer had done it deliberately. Now she felt like banging her head somewhere. How could she have thought that Sameer would lose his temper? The scenario at college with Yash had been different, and the scenario with her family was different. He had dealt with both of them appropriately. Plus, hadn’t he just been alone in Delhi, and yet handled a delicate issue with such patience and wisdom? It dawned on her, that she had missed one thing in her Sameer – he for sure had multiple shades, but he also knew when to use which shade most effectively.
She suddenly felt light just at the thought of being able to talk to Sameer. Without even thinking about the time she rushed to the telephone, and her fingers automatically dialled his number with perfectly practiced movements. As the second ring sounded in her ears, her eyes shifted to the clock – 3am. Oh no! She immediately started to keep the receiver back, but before she could, Sameer’s deep voice sounded from the other end, “Hello Naina.”
Warmth spread through her just by listening to his voice, and his instant recognition. She just stood there with tears in her eyes, overwhelmed by his love even after all these years.
“Naina?”, Sameer asked confused, “kuch bol kyun nahi rahi ho?”
She swallowed the lump in her throat, “Hi. Sorry, tumko neend se utha diya.”
He checked the clock on his desk, “kya baat hai? Tum thik toh ho na?”
“Hmm… Kya hum kal subah mil sakte hai?”, she asked hesitantly.
He was silent for a few moments, then a threatening undertone took over the soothing concern in his tone, “kya kiya Taiji ne mere jaane ke baad? Darwaze ka saara gussa tumpe utara?”
She was surprised, that he understood the core of the matter without her even uttering one word regarding it. But, she didn’t want to tell him anything over the phone; she needed to be with him.
“Please, milke baat karte hai na subah ko”, Naina pleaded, “main mandir aa jaungi, tum wahi milna mujhe.”
Sameer sighed at the other end, “thike. Lekin tum rona mat abhi, waada karo.”
“Waada”, she promised him, assured just at the thought of meeting him.
Feeling a little better she went back to her room, and lied down, but still she couldn’t sleep. Her eyes kept moving to the hands of the clock, counting down minutes until morning. At quarter to four she heard two honks and jerked upright in surprise. Is that him? He was here now? Oh God. She flung aside the blanket and rushed outside to the balcony. Looking through the darkness, she immediately saw Sameer on his bike, looking up at her. He waved as soon as he saw her, then signalled two minutes with his fingers, and left. She understood that he was going to hide his bike. What was he doing? She recalled how he had come up that other night, sneaked into her room at night. Would he do something like that today? No, he couldn’t. Preeti was here. Plus, it was almost morning. In a little over an hour, people in their society would start waking up. He won’t take the risk of climbing up to her room now. But then, why was he here?
Sameer came back on the road, and stood near the PCO booth looking up at her. His eyes narrowed on seeing her in a chikan kurta, and he gestured her to put on something. She was confused for a minute, but then realized he was asking her to get a sweater or shawl. She quickly obeyed him, then signalled to him trying to ask what he was doing here. He smiled, and leaned against the booth as if settling in to stand for some time. Astonished, she recalled how during their college time, sometimes he would come up at night, and stand at the exact same spot, and stare up at her the whole night. He never got tired of standing like that, and she never got tired of fulfilling his demand that she stand in the balcony for him. She realized that he was doing the same thing now. Because he understood that she needed him. Tears welled up in her eyes – that should have been difficult for him to see in the still dark surroundings, but his posture became alert, and she knew he had somehow seen. He shook his head, and even from this distance, she could feel the tension rolling off his body. She knew that if he was standing there, far from her at this moment, it was because somewhere they were still tied in the shackles of societal rules. She knew that he understood that no matter whatever right she had given him, they both and their families were still being looked at and judged, through the high moral glasses the society so often wore. She was sure that if he had not been bound by those moral conducts, nothing would have stopped him to barge in and take her with him.
She wiped her face, and smiled at him assuring him that she was all right. And she really was. Because he was here. She didn’t need anything else. Somehow, he had known what she needed; somehow, he always knew what she needed. Even from this distance, she felt his warmth surround her. She never realized how the next hour passed. Her eyes feasted at the sight of him, so strong and reassuring, standing in the cold only for her. He never moved a muscle, except for the time when the watchman came on his round. He would hide himself behind the PCO booth for a minute, but as soon as the watchman left, he would be back in his position – a sentry to her happiness, keeping the darkness and sadness at bay just by his mere presence.
A little after 5am when a few lights flickered on in some houses, Sameer straightened, and gestured to her that he would be waiting in the next lane. She nodded, and as soon as he was out of sight, she rushed back inside. Grabbing a towel, and a dress she went in to take a bath. She hurried as she knew he was waiting to take her along with him. As soon as she stepped out of her room, Chachiji came out from her bedroom too.
Bela looked at her, “bhagwaan jhuth na bulaye beta, itni subah subah kya kar rahi hai? Aur taiyar kyun hui hai?”
Naina bit her lip, “w…woh chachiji main… main mandir jaa rahi hun.” She felt a bit embarrassed as in her rush to be with Sameer, she hadn’t even thought of informing anyone about where she was going.
“Mandir?”, Bela asked puzzled, “par aaj to mangalvaar hai na?”
Naina nodded, “ji… par… w…woh”, unable to find an excuse she blurted the truth, “Sameer milne aayenge.”
A look of understanding dawned on Bela’s face. She knew how much it had hurt Naina to hear those words last evening. It had hurt her too, but she hadn’t been able to protect her daughter from the vile assassination of her character. Neither had she been able to stand up for her son-in-law who was more like a son to her. It had pained her that she couldn’t even share this with her own husband, because then he would have fought with Bhabhiji for his daughter, and that would have resulted in clashes between the brothers too. Bhabhiji had been strategic with her timing, and aimful with her words. She understood that Naina had barely managed to control her tears in front of them, but alone in her room, she must have cried her heart out and she also knew that Preeti would know about it but not tell anyone. Wasn’t that how the sisters had always supported each other? Keeping the secrets safe and having each other’s back. But a mother always knew. She had itched to go to Naina and try and soothe her, assure her. However, she also understood that the wounds were too deep. Being tied up in her familial hierarchy, she had never been able to defend her daughters like she had wanted to. But now, there was no need for her to worry. Sameer was there for Naina. Yesterday, she had seen how deftly he had tackled Bhabhiji and defended Naina. The shattered glass door had given her immense peace.
Bela smiled up at her, “thike tu jaa. Waqt lagega na tujhe wapas aane me? Mujhse koi puchega toh main keh dungi ke tu mandir se sidha pustakalay gai hai.”
Naina sighed in relief, and gave her Chachiji a quick hug, then slipped on her sandals and rushed downstairs. Quickly walking to the next lane, she found Sameer standing near his bike, frowning at a bunch of school kids who were quarrelling over something. Her heart skipped a beat on seeing him, and tingling sensation ran down her spine. It didn’t matter that she had met him just yesterday, it didn’t matter that she had just spent more than an hour staring at him, she still felt as if she had been starved for the sight of him. His chiselled face, intense expressions, the locks of hair that carelessly fell over his forehead, broad shoulders, the biceps flexing as he crossed his arms, everything soothed her as well as flushed her insides with a heat that she had now become accustomed to.
He straightened as soon as he saw her, and searched her face, as if checking every inch of her with a determination to not spare anyone who had caused her eyes to redden. A muscle in his jaw clenched, as he tried to suppress the bubbling anger, and turned to start the bike. Even though he had not even touched her, Naina felt engulfed in his protective warmth. Chachaji had always tried his best to protect her, but often his hands and mouth were tied with the respect he held for his big brothers. Being the youngest in the family didn’t give him rights to speak up, even if it was in defence. She had often been subjected to taunts, insults, and always blamed for anything and everything that happened to her.
She had been alone, until Sameer. He had never blamed her for anything, and had always protected her, given her a shelter of care and affection where, unknown to herself, she had grown into the self-confident woman she was today. And now, after their Roka, the protective instincts Sameer had for her was visible to everyone, and the magnanimity of his love and understanding was slowly dawning on everyone.
She stared at the bike, recalling how Sameer had always asked her to sit with him and go for a ride. But, she had always held back afraid. Wanting to fulfill his wish, she had gone with him for a ride only twice in college, and even at that time she had sat hesitatingly not even placing a hand on his shoulder, and keeping her bulky college bag between them on the seat. Her worry and fear of being spotted by her family or someone familiar had always overtook her desire of being with him. But not anymore. She quickly wrapped her dupatta over her face, and sat down behind him facing one side. He took off, lost in his own thoughts, wondering what exactly had happened to make her cry so much that her eyes were still puffy. However, a minute later, he jerked slightly on feeling his hand surround his waist, and her head lightly rested between his shoulder blades. Wow. Even in the turmoil of anger running inside him, the effect of her proximity on his body didn’t lessen. He took in a deep breath, touching her hand once, reassuring himself that she was indeed there.
A tiny smile crept on his face, as he understood that finally she felt completely free to be with him even in public. She wasn’t holding back anymore, not in private, not in public. Nothing and no one mattered to her more than him now. He was her priority now, just like she had been for him always. He couldn’t help but touch her hand repeatedly, soaking in the warmth of her trust and love that was much warmer than the rising morning sun.
When they reached home, Sameer asked her to go upstairs and he detoured to the kitchen to get some water for them. As he started to climb upstairs, Ramdhari entered, and Sameer instructed him to come later in the afternoon. Locking the door, he went up in their room and found her sitting on the mattress that he hadn’t even taken the time to push up before leaving. The messy sheet and blanket, the rumpled pillow, and Naina sitting amid them – he found the sight strangely endearing. He might have lost focus in another of his ‘Naina fantasies’ but the clear view of her red puffy eyes didn’t let him drift off. He kept the bottle on the floor, removed his jacket and sat on the mattress in his usual posture, leaning against the wall spreading out his legs. This time however, he didn’t need to invite Naina to come over to him; rather as soon as he sat she cuddled up to him.
He held her, waiting for her to tell him what had happened. He didn’t ask, not this time, not again. He was sure she would tell him. Ten minutes later, he started to feel tiny shivers running through her, and also felt the wetness on his shirt. Silently, he promised himself that Taiji would have to pay for each drop of her tears. Then she started speaking slowly, “tum gaye uske baad Taiji aai thi, unhone bahot bhala bura sunaya mujhe.”
He rubbed her back, trying to keep a check on his temper. It wouldn’t help if he was angry now. He needed to be calm, let Naina speak her heart out. She hiccupped as she told him how Taiji had yelled on her because he had touched her cheek in front of the neighbour, how she had asked what exactly they had done since college. She drew back a little and looked at his face, “woh puch rahi thi ke ab jab hum milte hai toh kya karte hai. Aur kaha ke maine padosi ke saamne apne khandaan ki izzat mitti me mila di. Woh boli ke meri maa nahi hai isiliye main cha…charitraheen hun.”
The simmering flame in him, had already escalated to a raging fire, but still he held onto his patience as he wiped her tears. Naina continued, “unko toh aisa lagta hai ke hamari shaadi nahi hogi. Jaante ho unhone kya bola?”
She repeated word for word the stanza that had hurt her the most, “Sab kuch ho jayega, par shaadi nahi hogi iski. Ek toh aisi shakal, upar se baap ke paas ek futi kaudi nahi. Aisi ladkiyon ke haath me mehendi kabhi nahi sajti, bas chehre pe kalikh sajti hai.”
He cupped her face, “unhone aisa kaha ke tum achchi nahi dikhti iska bura laga? Ya papa paise nahi denewale tumahre shaadi me iska bura laga?”
Her face twisted in anguish, but fire flared in her eyes, “nahi. Woh mere baare me jo bole so bole, mujhe farq nahi padta. Farq pada iss baat ka ke unhone hamare pyaar pe ungli uthai. Tumhari neeyat pe shaq kiya. Kya haq hai unka ke woh aisa bole ke hamara pyaar galat hai? Kis haq se woh tumhare baare me aisa boli?”
“Mujhe farq nahi padta Taiji mere baare me kya sochti hai usse”, he assured her.
She pulled back from him, her eyes glittering with tears and temper, “tumhe toh papa kya sochte hai usse bhi farq nahi padta tha. Lekin mujhe padta hai. Mujhe farq padta hai ke koi tumhare baare me galat soch raha hai ya bol raha hai. Mujhe farq padta hai ke Taiji tumhare naam ka dhindora peet ti hai, aur fir tumhare baare me hi aisa bolti hai.”
Her voice broke in desperation to make him understand, “mujhe farq padta hai ke unhone mere pyaar pe, tumpe, ungli uthai lekin main kuch bol nahi paai. Chup chap khadi rahi. Mujhe farq padta hai ke main tumhe samajh nahi paai aur socha ke tumse yeh baate naa karne me hi samajhdaari hai.” She sobbed harder with each sentence she spoke, and her words became unintelligible after a while.
The raging temper inside him had now turned into an inferno that awaited to consume the people who had hurt his Naina. But he still controlled, still waited. He kept looking at her, then slowly tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She gazed up at him, and then hurled herself back in his arms, burying her face in his chest, “please Sameer kuch karo.”
His heart thudded harder; he closed his eyes and asked, “tumhe chup karane ke liye?”
He felt the movement of her head as she shook it in negative, “nahi. Taiji ka kuch karo. Please… main…mujhse nahi ho raha. Samajh nahi aa raha main kaise bolu unko kuch. Main bolna chahti hun, lekin… please meri madad karo.”
Finally! Finally, Naina had asked him for help. She had opened up to him. True, he didn’t know what all Taiji had said and done in past. But, at least he had a fair idea of the kind of taunts. And he now knew exactly what she had said and done yesterday that had hurt Naina so much. He trembled slightly as he tried to suppress his temper. If he was honest to himself, he wanted to do some serious physical damage to the person who had hurt her so much. But, he knew he couldn’t. That was not what was needed and neither what was right. Even if he had already been married to Naina, he couldn’t have barged in and hurled insults at Taiji, letting her know exactly what he thought of her. He didn’t care a tuppence about what Taiji thought of him, but he knew how important the foundation of family was to Naina. Right or wrong, he couldn’t steal that from her. If his love had given her the wings to fly, her family’s upbringing had inculcated in her the innocence and unending love that had turned his own life around. He respected her values, her perspective. And now, that family wasn’t just hers, it was his as well. No matter what they did, or would do in future, the bonds will always be there, just like he had a bond with the Somani family. He had avoided, ignored, rebelled, hated his relationship to Somani name all his life, and that had earned him nothing – neither his mother had returned to him, nor had he been able to run away from the feelings of a big brother than Rohan and Deepika had aroused in him. When he had accepted that his mother was going to be just like she was, and it wasn’t her fault, he had suddenly felt better and in time had developed a bond with her, and now she was closer to him than before. When he had stopped rebelling and accepted his relationship with Rohan and Deepika, he had suddenly found two more bonds to cherish and nurture, and his two siblings gave him nothing but happiness and respect. When, upon Naina’s advice, he had chosen to accept his bond with Mr. Somani, he had gotten to know a shattering truth, but moving on, forgiving, accepting had again given him a sense of peace. Just like that, he couldn’t run away from how Taiji, Tauji or Rakesh sir was, but he could accept. He need not forgive yet, but he could accept.
However, what he could not accept was tears in Naina’s eyes. For that, Taiji would have to pay. And he needed to find the best way to do it. Being angry and impulsive won’t help him, and neither would it help Naina. She still had to stay in that house surrounded by them. One wrong step from him, and the person suffering the implications would be Naina. He was sure he would think of something, but right now, at this moment his priority was Naina.
She was dressed in a light leafy green salwar-kameez, pressed against him, crying on his chest. Her sobs had subsided, but she was still hiccupping. He tightened his arms around her, and pulled her firmly to him. Rubbing her back with one arm, he cupped her face with another and tilted her head up.
“Idhar dekho”, he softly commanded, and she helplessly obeyed.
Her red swollen tearful eyes were like a sword impaled in his heart. He slowly brushed his lips against her forehead, her eyes, her nose, wanting to heal her pain. She sniffled, looking at him, all her attention focused on his being as if he was the answer to her problem. He wondered how could he solve her problems or ease her worries when he too was plagued with multiple doubts and questions. He knew she was hurt with Taiji’s words. But, he now wondered what she thought of him, of the progress in their relationship. Did she also felt now that what they were doing was wrong? Did she feel that all he cared about was how much progress they made physically? He recalled that after their first foray into intimacy he hadn’t exactly been able to keep his hands off her. In fact, just yesterday he had even been close to losing his control at Chachaji’s place. What if anyone had seen? How could he put Naina in such jeopardy? He had to know what was going on in her mind.
Gathering courage he smoothed her hair from her face, “Naina… isse pehle ke main kuch kahu, main tumse puchna chahta hun ke tum kya sochti ho? Kya tumko bhi aisa lagta hai ke main tumse shaadi nahi…”
He didn’t get to finish his question as Naina suddenly pressed her lips to his. The kiss was gentle but not at all hesitant. She slid her fingers in his hair, adjusting the angle so that he had no option but to yield to the soft pressure of her mouth. Surprised and overwhelmed at the way she chose to answer his unvoiced question, he again kept staring at her face for some time, so close to his own. Her eyes were closed, tears still clinging to her lashes. But, her expression and her kiss didn’t have one single trace of hesitation. Instead it was all about the trust she had chosen to bestow on him. Her mouth was still on his, moving gently but firmly, the tip of her tongue touching and enticing him to open to her. A long shudder ran up his spine, and he closed his eyes, giving in to her, opening to her, holding her close. He let her scent envelop him, her taste dominated his senses, and he recalled their first kiss when he had used his hands and mouth to adjust the pressure for his pleasure and hers. This time Naina made him yield to her, taking what she wanted, and at the same time giving… trust, pleasure, assurance, promise.
When she drew back, her lips were as wet as her eyes, but the pain and questions were replaced with a determination that he had so often seen. Her head tilted in that peculiar way, when she had decided something, and knew she was right, so what everyone else thought could go to hell. She cupped his face, dropping a quick kiss on his lips again, “firse kabhi yeh sawaal puchne ki koshish bhi mat karna. Kisike bhi kuch bhi kehne se mera bharosa kabhi kam nahi hoga. Galti meri thi, jo maine socha tha ke shayad tum apne gusse pe kaabu na rakh pao. Kami mujhme hai, ke main Taiji ke saamne kuch nahi bol paai. Naa mujhe kabhi tumhare pyaar aur neeyat pe shaq tha aur naa hi kabhi aisa khayal mere man me aayega.”
He closed his eyes, letting her words soak in his soul. He always knew that Naina trusted him; he had realized the extent of it when the other day she had laid down that mattress for them, welcoming him back. But today, he also understood the eternal depth of her trust, that not even the words of an elder in her own family could sway it. But she was wrong in one matter, there was nothing lacking in her, and he needed to tell her that.
Opening his eyes again, he rubbed her back, the gesture coming naturally to him, “aisa mat bolo… tumhare me koi kami nahi hai. Main jaanta hun ke tum itne saalo se Taiji ki baate sunke bhi ansuna karti aai ho, lekin chot har baat pahonchi hai tumhe. Jab Pooja didi ki shaadi me maine pehli baar suna tha unko aisi baate karte hue tumhare baare me tab mera bhi dil jala tha. Lekin uss waqt meri kuch hadd thi, jiske aage main jaa nahi sakta tha, isiliye maine sirf shabdo ka hi istemaal kiya tha tumhe support karne ke liye. Par ab nahi.”
Naina clutched his shirt, “tum kya karne wale ho? Aur main kya karu?”
He shook his head, “tum kuch mat karna aur kuch mat kehna unse. Hamari shaadi tak tumhe usi ghar me rehna hai, aur main nahi chahta ke tumhe kisi bhi tarah se koi nuksaan pahoncha sake. Lekin main itna zarur mangunga tumse ke aaj jis bharose ke saath tumne mujhe saari baate bata di, waise hi aage bhi batana. Tumhe samajhna hoga Naina… Hum bahot saalo se saath me hai, lekin ab farq yeh hai ke hum sirf dost ya premi nahi balki humsafar bhi hai… Saathi hai… aur iska matlab yeh ke hum apne dil ki saari baat bejhijhak ek dusre se kar sake, aur yeh hamara haq hai. Samjhi tum?”
She nodded. He smiled a little, “bharosa rakho mujhpe. Bahot saal tumne jhela hai Taiji ke kadwe bol, par ab aur nahi. Unki kahi hui har ek baat ko main unke hi saamne jhuth saabit karunga. Tumhare aankho me aaye ek ek aansu ka hisab unko dena padega. Aur fikar mat karna… tumhare pyaar ne tumhare Sameer ko bahot badal diya hai aur thoda bahot intelligent bhi bana diya hai. Main gusse se kaam nahi lunga kyunki kisine mujhse kaha tha ke main shanti se kaam karta hun tab zyada prabhavshali lagta hun.”
Finally, a small smile bloomed on her face, and he felt as if his constricted heart could finally beat again. “Thoda aur”, he demanded, and she acquiesced, smiling wider. He dropped a kiss on her nose. Glancing at his watch, he enquired, “tumne ghar pe kya bola hai aaj?”
She wiped her face with her dupatta, as there was no more reason left for tears, “Chachiji ko pata hai ke main tumse milne wali hun. Aur unhone kaha ke koi puchega toh woh bata degi ke main mandir se sidhe library gai hun.”
He laughed softly, “meri sasuma bhi meri biwi ki tarah bahot intelligent hai.” She laughed along with him, loving the way he called Chachiji as sasuma, and he felt peace spread in his heart on hearing the lilting sound of her laughter.
He pulled back from her, slid down on mattress, lying on the pillow, and then extended his arm offering her space. She slept beside him, facing him, keeping her head on his arm and staring at his face. After a few minutes he again demanded, “thoda aur”, and she shifted closer to him. Wrapping an arm around his waist, she buried her face in his chest, inhaling the male scent that was so unique to him. He enclosed her in his arms completely, and draped a leg over hers pulling her as close to him as was physically possible.
The morning sunlight brightened, filtering in through the curtains, bringing in slight warmth in the cold December weather. However, finally at peace, the two people drifting off to sleep, entwined in each other’s arms didn’t need anything to ward off the chill, apart from the love they shared.