The Bond of Body and Soul

The pleasant evening breeze moved across the terrain, rustling the leaves on trees, carrying the fragrance of flowers over exhaust fumes of vehicles. The amber glow of the sun streaked through the fluffy clouds as Sameer walked down the lane leading to home with a big bunch of roses in his hand. The slow cold breeze inspired lethargic thoughts of snug blankets and warm bodies. He combed his fingers through his wavy hair, eyes sparkling at the thought of the demand he was going to put forth to his wife.

Naina… His wife. It still seemed like a dream to him, even though they had been back from their honeymoon, and he was getting used to having her with him 24×7. Sometimes he felt as if he would wake up from sleep, and find himself alone in his old room, but every time this thought would pop in his mind, like magic Naina would appear in front of him, either to discuss something or to scold him for not studying. Even though he sulked in front of her when she would scold him or force him to study, inwardly he would be smiling because all those incidents simply meant that now he had someone who was concerned about everything he did.

Just this morning, he had been a perfectly good husband and studied for two hours straight as she had instructed. In lieu of it he had received a long lingering kiss on his cheeks, paneer paratha for lunch, and permission to watch TV for thirty minutes. When he had studied in the afternoon for another two hours he had planned to ask for a French kiss at the end, and he had… she had been shy for only a minute before giving in to his demand. Oh her lips… He didn’t think he would ever get tired of her taste. She had also promised to make Kanji cook puri and alu-sabji for dinner, and he had requested for an hour to take a walk.

He knew Naina had been surprised at his request because since the past two days he had been always glued to the television set at each free minute, but this time there was something more important than a movie or a match. He wanted to put forth the idea of recreating their first night… their suhaagraat… He knew that Naina was still clueless of many things, but if possible he would like to try moving a bit further than French kiss now. Sleeping so close to her that other night in the garden, he had felt her warm body close to her and his desires had pulsed anew. He had realized that he could be slow for her, but he needed to try and introduce the new angles of intimacy to her. And so he entered inside their home, armed with flowers, ready to decorate their room; now he just needed some excuse to keep Naina away from their bedroom for some time.

Naina was in the kitchen with Kanji, he could hear her voice as she instructed him, so he tiptoed upstairs without making a single sound. Quickly hiding the flowers inside the cupboard, he came back downstairs, positioned himself near the door, and called out, “Naina… main aa gaya.”

She hurried out of the kitchen, welcoming him with a smile, and immediately asked, “ho gaya walk? Chai piyoge?”

He sauntered over to her, and casually wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in for a light hug, “uhmm… pee sakta hun. Lekin usse pehle kuch aur mil jaata toh…”

Saying so he dipped his head, letting his lips skim her cheek. She was sweating a bit from her excursion in the kitchen, and some strange spicy smell radiated off her skin. He was almost close to her lips, when she suddenly pushed against his chest, and whispered breathily, “Sameer… abhi nahi… Kanji dekh lega.”

He groaned at being denied, but then his original purpose clicked in his brain, and he reluctantly pulled back for now. As they walked towards the living room sofa, he casually commented, “bahar mausam bahot achcha hai… tum bhi walk karke aao na.”

She smiled, “dinner ke baad saath chalenge. Tab tak aur thandak ho jayegi.”

He liked the idea of walking with her hand-in-hand at night, but not today, so he still tried to persist, “lekin mausam ka kya bharosa… baarish shuru ho gai toh? Abhi jaake aaona.”

She laughed lightly, “tum bhi na Sameer… kuch bhi bolte ho. Abhi bhala baarish kaise hogi? Saawan ka mausam aane me bahot der hai. Aur tab walk karne me aur mazaa aayega, baarish me bheegte hue.”

His mind was immediately distracted at the thought of getting drenched in rain, walking with his wife, maybe she would be dressed in that blue jeans and red-white striped top, or maybe a saree… yeah a saree would be perfect… pink? Or blue? Or white? No… white would be too transparent… other’s shouldn’t lay eyes on what was his… blue was better… deeper shade… she would look gorgeous in it. Maybe he could buy one for her just before monsoon… Naina wouldn’t say no if he demanded that she wear it. And then he could slide his hand on her bare waist; clutching his wet-saree clad, soft, delicate woman to himself.

Her voice interrupted his thoughts, “kahan kho gaye?” With a slight jerk he came back to the present, “aah kahin nahi.”

She gave him a considering look, but didn’t prod further, “achcha tum TV dekho thodi der, main bas abhi aati hun chai ka bolke.”

Thinking of keeping his wife is a pleasant mood he gave up the thought of watching TV, and rather commented that he would go upstairs and continue to study. She looked extremely surprised for a moment, but then smiled encouragingly, thinking that Sameer was finally starting to understand the need of paying more attention to studies. He bounded upstairs leaving a proud happy wife downstairs, feeling only slightly guilty about the lie. He had no intention to study; all he wanted was some time to think clearly about how to initiate things with her.

At the end he decided to just start with kissing her and slowly touching her a bit… that could kick-start things… if she asks he could tell her that kissing is not the only thing that happens. Naina was curious by nature; that would surely lead him somewhere, or even give him a clue on what she is okay with at first. Since he was alone in the room now, he took the chance to take out the roses and arrange some of them in a large vase on the desk. Plucking off the petals of the remaining few he scattered them on the bed and floor.

After dinner, he again went to bedroom first, waiting for her… and as soon as she came upstairs after probably cleaning the kitchen a bit, he quickly pulled her to him, and locked the bedroom door. She gasped, but her hands had naturally found their way to his chest, and she was looking up at him with bright sparkling eyes as if she fully knew his intention. Without delaying the moment a single bit, he reached for her mouth, kissing her softly. She whimpered, her hands moving to his shoulders, and he tightened his hold on her waist pulling her up to him, intending to deepen the kiss. He succeeded too, and almost growled in triumph when he felt her tongue moving against his in welcome. Slowly, gently, hoping not to scare her, he let one hand trail up the side of her body until it spanned her ribcage, and used his fingers to stroke the line of her lace which he could feel from over her top. When she didn’t object, he groaned, and instinctively his hips pushed against her… He had just started to mentally rejoice, when she suddenly wrenched her mouth away and pulled back.

“Naina kya…”, he started, totally disappointed at the happening, but he didn’t even get to finish his sentence as she quickly pushed him.

She looked flustered, her cheeks red with lack of breath or mortification he didn’t know, “Sameer… aaj nahi.” He was puzzled. What? What was she saying? Before he could ask her she had fled inside the bathroom, while he stood there aroused and irritated.

Inside the bathroom Naina leaned against the closed door, and tried to calm her racing heartbeats. God… It had been so close. She had almost given in… to what, she didn’t know, she only knew she was very close to surrendering to whatever Sameer wanted. It had not been the first time either… How could she forget the time when he had just strolled out of the bathroom clad in a towel… and then when he had been drunk and offered her the nightie, although he remembered none of it the next morning… and then again in the garden the other night. His hands on hers, his lips on hers, and his body so close to hers just evoked a wide range of sensations that she was not aware enough to interpret. But she did know that off late she had also started craving for something more… each kiss they shared left her breathless, and she felt satisfied yet somehow unfulfilled. She might have found out today what it was that he wanted… what it was that she unknowingly craved for… but she couldn’t.

Sighing she took out the packet of sanitary napkins she had hidden inside the bathroom cabinet behind some bottles, and proceeded to change into a fresh one for the night. Her monthly flow had started just that evening; luckily Sameer had gone out for his walk, so she hadn’t needed to hide around him. And for the night, she had thought that it would be easy to quickly change when she went for her pre-sleeping ritual in the bathroom. But Sameer had caught her off guard… and she too had been totally lost in the feelings erupting inside her… Only when she had almost been pressed flushed to his body had she realized that things were probably getting out of control… She didn’t yet know what it was that was about to happen, but she thought that it shouldn’t happen during her periods… Periods were bad… Wasn’t that why girls are restrained from praying, cooking and several other things? Thankfully they had hired Kanji and she had just stood giving him instructions on what to cook, and showing him where things were… Otherwise God knows how she would have told Sameer about her sudden lack of cooking ability.

When she stepped outside, Sameer was waiting for her, a furious scowl in place on his handsome face. Her heart sank a bit… she recalled the way she had pushed him away, and his expressions clearly told her that he hadn’t liked it one bit. She wondered how to explain things to him… Before she could plan or decide anything he had grabbed her arm and roughly demanded, “kya tha woh? Aise bhaag kyun gai tum?”

She flinched at his tone, and tried to give an excuse, “Sameer… der ho gai hai… so jaate hai. Fir kal jaldi uthke padhna hai.”

His irritation increased, and he narrowed his eyes, “hum itne saal se saath me hai Naina, fir bhi tumko mujhpe zara bhi bharosa nahi hai na. Tumhe bas exams, padhai, yahi sab nazar aata hai… main nazar nahi aata. Mere baare me kuch nahi sochti… main kya chah raha hun woh samajhne ki koshish nahi karti.”

Tears sprung in her eyes at his words, and she opened her mouth to explain, “nahi… main woh…”

He left her arms and interrupted, “rehne do… firse koi bahana nahi sunna, ya aisa bhi nahi sunna ke padhai ke baad romance karenge. Neend aa rahi hai na tumhe? Toh jaake so jao…” He grabbed his towel and headed inside the bathroom, leaving her standing there, trying hard to ignore the tremble in her voice or the tears in her eyes.

Naina blinked and tried to wipe away the tears. It wasn’t his fault… Obviously he was angry… She had made him wait for so long just for a kiss… and now obviously there was something more that he wanted or needed, but he wasn’t able to convey it to her in words… However, he was trying very hard to make her understand something… all those touches, those attempts… everything indicated that there was more. And didn’t all the movies also show that there was more than kissing… nothing specific was shown, so she didn’t know, but maybe Sameer knew… and that was what he was trying to convey.

As she moved to the bed, unknowingly she trod on something soft, and looked down to see the scattered rose petals. Her surprised gaze moved to the bed, and she found that it was also covered in red petals… why? It didn’t take her more than a minute to recall how their bed had been decorated on that first night; and then again the next… So that meant… this was for their suhaagraat? He had somehow managed to decorate the bed without letting her know, and few moments ago he was trying to… trying to show her what more was there? Oh God… He had obviously not just been in romantic mood, but had also put in efforts to turn this night into a special one… Only if she hadn’t messed up then tonight could have been special for her, for him, for them…

She closed her eyes in pain of realization… if only she had not been on her periods… and that word reminded her of a blue and white packet which, in her lost state, she had left on the sink countertop in plain view for whoever entered inside… Panic and dread began to creep up her spine as she turned to see the closed bathroom door… Oh dear God.

On the other side of the closed door, Sameer had just finished his cold shower, hoping that would calm down both his anger and physical frustration. And it had… He wiped his body regretting the way he had lashed out on Naina. It wasn’t her fault. He had known that she didn’t know anything, didn’t understand things… and he had decided to patiently teach her… but one refusal from her had escalated his temper, and the physical need had gotten a better hold on his sanity causing him to behave rudely with her. God… what a mess. He just hoped he could set things right… maybe he could talk to her if she is not asleep.

As he wrapped the towel around his waist, his eyes fell on an open pack near the sink. What’s that? He had never seen that pack inside the bathroom ever. Curious he moved to the sink, and picked up the pack, turning it over to read the name. Stayfree Secure. His mouth fell open as realization crashed down on him. Periods… His wife was on periods. Was that why she had pulled back and fled? But… but… why? Did she know then what could have happened today? Did she know about the relationship between a man and woman? No no… she couldn’t… He remembered how in college also she had faced a problem once, and had called him up asking for help with cooking… He hadn’t realized things soon at that time, but slowly he had understood… and in all these years sometimes he had been able to spot the time when she would be on periods. Naina just behaved extra shy, and kept tugging on her skirt or frock, and not to mention the increased trips to bathroom. He had never asked or broached the topic with her… while at first he had felt it was forbidden… later on he had thought that she wouldn’t be comfortable… All in all, it had been easy to ignore. But now… now he couldn’t ignore it… in fact, he shouldn’t ignore it… If the college trend was something to go by then Naina would behave in the same way, and since now they were living together she would do everything to hide it from him. But no… that was not the way anymore… He would talk to her, try and understand, and also assure her…

Just then there was a series of loud knocks on the door, and Naina’s frantic voice floated inside, “Sameer abhi bahar niklo… jaldi…”

He glanced at the pack in his hand and a determined expression crossed his face. Placing the pack inside the cabinet over the sink, where he supposed it should be kept; he crossed over to the door and opened it. Her apprehensive gaze collided with his resolute ones, and she stammered, “woh main… main…”, and tried to sidestep him to go inside.

He caught her around the waist, blocking her, and walked forward so that she had no option but to step backwards. Her big round eyes dropped from his face to his bare chest, and he saw a flush tinge her cheeks. She swallowed audibly, and shifted her gaze away, murmuring in a low tone, “mujhe bathroom jaana hai.”

He kept his eyes on her face, observing her every nuance, “kyun? Packet maine cabinet me rakh diya hai.”

Her eyes widened, horrified, and she gasped, “kya…??”

He shrugged, “tum bhul gai thi andar rakhna, toh maine rakh diya.”

Her face flushed with embarrassment, “tum… tumne kyun haath lagaya? Woh… woh mera… darasal woh packet…”

He interrupted her blabber, “mujhe pata hai woh kya hai Naina. Aur tumko aise itna sharmaneki zarurat nahi hai.”

She glanced up at him, her eyes wide, “tumhe pata hai?”

He nodded, “haan pata hai. Usme konsi badi baat hai Naina. Agar tumhare periods shuru ho gaye toh tum bhi toh mujhe bata sakti thi na… isme itna secret rakhne wali konsi baat hai? Aur itna hichkichane wali toh bilkul bhi nahi hai…”

Her mouth opened and closed soundlessly, and she wondered how he could be so casual about it. After a minute or so, she could manage to string a few words together, “lekin… yeh toh… ladkiyo wali baat hai na. Aur… ganda bhi hai.”

He chuckled, “ganda? Isiliye tum college me khana nahi bana rahi thi? Waise agar khana nahi banate periods me toh aaj kitchen me kya kar rahi thi tum? Aur ek baat batao… periods ke time khana banane se kya khane ka swaad bigad jaata hai?”

Food…? He was questioning about food? Or was it her periods? She was so confused… Of all the things, it had never dawned upon her that he could know about periods. How could he? He prodded her to answer, “bolona…”

She shook her head, “uhh… main bas Kanji ko bata rahi thi ke kya karna hai. Lekin tumko kaise pata…? Aur college me bhi jaante the?”

He wrapped his other arm around her too, rubbing her back, “thoda waqt laga tha samajhne me, par samajh gaya tha… tumse kabhi pucha nahi kyunki pata nahi woh haq tha ke nahi. Lekin ab toh saare haq hai na… toh fir tum aise chupa kyun rahi thi? Mujhse baat karti toh main naraaz nahi hota na… I am sorry Naina… mujhe aise chillana nahi chahiye tha.”

She instinctively reached up to place her palms on his chest, but jerked as it landed on his bare flesh. He quickly held her hand before she could withdraw, and placed it back on his body, “pati hun tumhara… koi anjaan nahi ke aise jhijhak rahi ho.”

She gulped, trying to ignore the effects of his touch, “Sameer main… main aise kaise tumko batati.”

He sighed, “kyun nahi? Yeh toh natural cheez hai na Naina. Har ladki ko hota hai… Aur yeh toh ladkiyo ke health ke liye bhi zaruri hai. Main jaanta hun ke kaafi log iske baare me utla-sidha sochte hai, aur ajeeb ajeeb se rok-tok lagate hai… lekin main inn sab cheezo me nahi maanta. Tum aise haal me kitchen me jaogi toh achanak koi bhuchaal nahi aa jayega, naa hi chai namkeen ho jayegi, ya sabji meethi… Mujhe toh lagta hai purane zamaane yeh sab niyam isiliye banaye gaye taaki auroton ko achche se araam mile kuch din. Maine suna hai… periods ke dauran pet me dard hota hai, aur sharir me bhi… Tumhe bhi hota hai kya?”

Naina tried to wrap her head around the fact that her husband not only knew about periods, but was treating it as normally as if it was a normal thing… Of course it was normal for her… she had to face it every month. But she had always been taught to not talk about it, follow strict rules, and also that men never liked to know about all this… But here Sameer was asking more questions. She didn’t know what was happening, and how in the world was she having this conversation with her husband who was standing only clad in a towel, and had her in his hold as if he wouldn’t allow her to step away until he was done. And suddenly she didn’t want to go anywhere… suddenly she poured her heart out. She told him of the cramps in her stomach, of how she would be irritated on small things, of how it was considered a taboo in her family, of how she was taught it was a bad thing, of how she had feared that he wouldn’t understand what she was facing.

He listened patiently and without interrupting. When she was done, he gently kissed her forehead and assured, “ab tak jo hota aaya hai woh tumhara guzra hua kal tha… aaj, abhi… yeh hamara ghar hai, aur yahi hamara parivaar. Main inn sab baato me nahi maanta, aur tumko bhi yeh sab maanne ki zarurat nahi hai agar tumhara man nahi hai toh… Tumhe jo man ho woh karo, yahan koi zor-zabardasti nahi hai. Kitchen me jaana ho toh jao, nahi jaana hai toh Kanji ko bolo… ya fir tumhara yeh ek lauta pati toh hai hi… main tumhe apne haatho se chai banake pilaunga.”

Overwhelmed, she blinked back the tears of gratitude, and hugged him totally forgetting that he was not wearing vest or shirt. Her cheek rested on his bare chest, her arms around his back, and her breath fanned his skin, soon rendering the cold shower useless. He reached for his pool of patience, softly kissed the top of her head, and gently parted from her, “chalo so jao… main kapde pehenke aata hun.”

He quickly changed into his boxers and pants, but ditched his t-shirt, instead pulling on just a vest, feeling that it might be torturous for him but could result in arousing her curiosity. To his extreme satisfaction, her eyes widened when he slid in beside her, and his last view before he turned off the light was of his wife ogling at his chest. He reached for her in the dark, and she hesitated only for a moment before shifting closer, letting his wrap his arm around her. He sighed in happiness at finally having his wife secured in his arms, and soon he drifted off to sleep, unaware that the woman pressed to him was still staring up at him with a small smile on her face, as this was the first time she felt cherished, safe, and she felt she was home.

The next few days were chaotic, and Sameer didn’t remember how many times he had had to remind himself to be patient. For the first time he felt as if he was getting a taste of what he must be usually behaving like in-front of Naina. Of course he didn’t have periods to justify what he did… But Naina… God… the woman would make him go crazy. She would be cranky on the tiniest things… Sameer never knew that leaving his wallet on the coffee table instead of inside the bedroom could be a reason for world war two in their home. He didn’t know that forgetting to add lemon to the salad could be used as testament of his carless attitude and insensitivity. He also didn’t know that his frowning face or a slightly irked “ab kya hua?” could result in Naina bursting into tears.

Every single time he thought he would flip and chuck the whole idea of making her feel comfortable, he would remember her face as she had held on to her stomach on her second day. He supposed it was cramps, and he had wished with all his heart to be able to share her pain somehow so that it lessened. He also remembered the morning of the same day, when he had woken up feeling as if the earth was shifting from beneath him, but it had turned out to be Naina frantically tugging at the bedsheet. He had been puzzled for few minutes, until he had spotted a slight red stain, and had understood what must have happened. She had stood mortified, about to cry, but he had just got up and calmly asked, “ghar me jo detergent hai usse ho jayega na? Ya kuch laana hai bazaar se? Aur haan… chup-chap se washing machine me daalna, haath se dhone ki koshish mat karna.” Later on he had even helped her to hang out the sheet and her clothes to dry, despite her shy objection.

If the days were an ordeal he had never faced before, the nights were a reward in itself… Since that other night, she had started to curl up in his arms every night as if it was the most natural thing for her. He had started to kiss her every night before they fell asleep, and each time she had responded enthusiastically. The third night he had woken up once to find her hand under his vest, resting on his back, and had realized that she had sought to touch him in her sleep. The next afternoon he had again kissed her, leaning on the balcony railing of their bedroom, and had cautiously slid his palm under her top touching her bare waist for the first time. He had felt her tremble, and she had clutched onto him even more, but she had not pulled back from the kiss or him. That’s why yesterday night, he had dared to slip his hand under her night suit top letting his palm rest on her belly, and had looked into her eyes trying to see her reaction. But she had simply smiled, and closed her eyes, proceeding to fall asleep as content as a lamb. His own lips had curved in a smile as he had watched her sleep for some time, and then kissed her forehead before drifting off himself.

Since this morning Naina had not sulked even once, and neither had she talked about studying. Sameer was on the edge the whole day waiting for the moment when the dam would burst, either she would cry or be angry… Hadn’t that been the trend since last few days? He noticed that she took an abnormally long amount of time to bath that morning, but he didn’t question her. He also noticed that she made Kanji cook special lunch of kadhi-pulao, and for dinner she instructed him to prepare chole. She also asked him to get some ice-cream from the market, which he immediately obeyed thinking that maybe that was also a symptom of period. Later he took his usual post-dinner shower, and came out clad in that towel that had now become his usual routine. He rather enjoyed Naina’s wide eyed looks as she tried not to stare but failed to avoid it. But today, she just glanced at him and smiled, as if looking at him like that was nothing much for her. He frowned, wondering about the change, and then was even more surprised when she said that she was going to take a bath. Since when did she start to bath at night? Still afraid of her sudden mood swings, he didn’t object, but started dressing up, slightly disappointed at having not been able to witness her flushed cheeks and shy gazes.

He was sitting on the bed, leaning on the headrest, with his arms lifted up behind his head, again lost in one of his Naina fantasies, this time somewhere in their own bedroom with her in that pink satin nightie that he had not had the courage to show her yet. The bathroom door clicked and he turned to look at her, frowning in confusion, “Naina… tum thik toh ho na? Yeh towel kyun laga rakha hai?”

She gave him a mildly frightened look and her hands clutched tighter on the towel wrapped around her body. He was about to ask again, but just then she took a deep breath and let the towel fall from her shoulders. He literally forgot to breathe, and his eyes widened like saucers, his throat turned dry, and his heart thumped so hard that he felt someone could see it’s palpitations on his body. There was a funny jolt in his stomach, and the fine hair of his body tingled with some kind of electrical charge. Naina was standing in-front of him, dressed in the pink nightie, straight from his fantasies. How did it happen? No no… it’s not possible. He was dreaming again… yes that’s it. It was a fantasy, a dream, a mirage that would evaporate in thin air anytime soon. The real Naina must be still inside the bathroom.

He had so much conviction in his rationale that he stood up and walked over to the bathroom, sidestepping the pink tempting illusion. He knocked on the closed door, and even called out, “Naina… itni der se andar kya kar rahi ho?”

She answered, her sweet voice calling out to him, “Sameer…”

He almost sighed in relief when he heard her voice, assured that everything was alright, but the next moment his world again turned topsy-turvy when he realized that her voice wasn’t coming from inside the bathroom, but rather from behind her. He whirled, scared out of his wits – the illusion was speaking, and was looking at him perplexed. The expression was so familiar… just like his Naina… but no, it couldn’t be her. His Naina didn’t wear nighties; his Naina didn’t know that the pink nightie existed. This fantasy was getting out of hand… He should come back to the real world soon. Determined, he closed his eyes, and bit his lip, fully believing that when he would open his eyes again the illusion wouldn’t be there.

Naina had been so apprehensive of her own decision to wear the nightie that she had covered herself with the towel. She had wanted to do something for him, for them… He had been so patient and amazing all these days… taking care of her, never demanding anything from her. She hadn’t known what awaited her outside, but she had known wherever the path would lead to, Sameer would be there with her. That had helped her overcome her nervousness and drop the towel from her shoulders to let Sameer see what she was wearing. His immediate speechless expressions had pleased her… but then he had started to behave weirdly. He had crossed her as if she didn’t exist and had started to call out for her. What was wrong? And when she had called out to him he had been almost scared… Why was he scared of her? Her concern for her husband’s sanity made her forget her own inhibitions and she walked over to him, touching him gently and called out again.

“Sameer…”, he heard her voice again, and this time it was accompanied by a soft touch on his arm. He gulped down the scream that threated to spring out of his throat, and tried to think… Was it really a dream? Now he could not only hear her concerned voice but also feel her touch… It was so clear… How could it be a dream? Still slightly scared, he opened one eye, and looked… Yes, she was still there… her face set in that worried expression that he had so often witnessed. She was now rubbing his arm, asking if he was alright. Slowly he opened his other eye as well… and the full vision sank in… Oh God. It was Naina… His Naina… His wife… And she was wearing the pink nightie… How had she managed to step out of his fantasy?

He caught her hand, and whispered, “Naina… tum ho?”

She frowned, “aur kaun hoga Sameer?”

He felt so confused, “sach me tum ho… par… tum yeh… kaise?”

She watched his gaze drift down her body, and blushed profusely. He eyed her scarlet cheeks and exhaled in relief… Oh yes! This was his Naina… now he was sure. And God knows how… but she was indeed wearing the pink nightie. His courage returned with the assurance, and so did his desires… He let his hands drift up her arms, covered with the smooth satin sleeves of the robe, and was gratified on feeling her shiver. Still reeling from the way his fantasy and reality had merged, he trailed up to cup her cheeks, his thumb tracing her cheekbone. Her eyes half-closed, her breathing erratic, and her lips parted slightly trembling with anticipation. Unable to control anymore, he hooked a thumb under her chin, tilting her head back and captured her lips in a full-on kiss. Her hands lifted up to wound around her neck, sinking her fingers in his silky hair at the nape, and she let herself feel… His soft lips with hard pressure, the velvety strokes of his tongue, the rough groan that rumbled in his throat, the way he tilted her head to gain more access. The kiss didn’t start soft unlike other times, this was different; there was so much urgency in it that she felt helpless, and she felt surprised that even she needed and wanted just like him. Her knees trembled and gave out causing her to lean on him, and she felt his arm surround her gathering her to him, while his other hand drifted down her throat, lightly down the center of her body and to the knot of the gown. Before she could even understand his intentions, the knot was undone and he was trying to peel off the robe from her.

She gasped in surprise, and immediately pulled back her own hands trying to clutch the fabric to herself. He stilled for a moment, but didn’t break the kiss, rather softened it… caressing her lips with his, peppering small kisses on the corners of her mouth, and all the time his hands remained still. The sudden panic disappeared, and she softened again. He gently pulled back, panting for breath and let his eyes drift down her body. The parted robe gave him ample view of his wife’s curves, and he swallowed hard somehow forcing himself to not grab her again.

His thoughts started to organize and he realized how much courage it must have taken for her to wear this for him… And there was still the unanswered how. Hence, he pushed his desires aside for the moment, and focused solely on her. Dipping down he lifted her in his arms, and she again let out a startled gasp, but didn’t object. He gently placed her on the bed, and sat down next to her in his usual position leaning on the headrest, and pulled her in his arms. She cuddled to him without any hesitation, and that made him relax. He waited for a few minutes until his heartbeat returned to normal, and then stroked her hair as he asked, “yeh kahan se mila tumhe?”

Her fingers on his waist clenched for a moment, and she softly answered, “tumne hi toh kharida hai.”

He smiled, “haan… par… tumhe kaise pata?”

She pulled back slightly to look at him, and he noticed the sparkling amusement in her eyes. She seemed to be attempting to control her laughter as she informed, “honeymoon pe brandy ke nashe me tumne hi mujhe dikhaya tha… Aur pehenneko kaha tha.”

His eyes widened, “kya? Mujhe toh aisa kuch yaad nahi…”

A chuckle escaped her mouth, “haan… tumhare uthne se pehle maine ise wapas suitcase me daal diya tha. Aur waise bhi tumko kahana pata hai ke uss raat tumne kya kya kiya.”

His brows furrowed, and he looked concerned as he cupped her face, “Naina… maine kuch galat toh nahi kiya na? Mera matlab…” He trailed off, unable to voice his question. He recalled how frustrated he had been from the lack of intimacy between them, and on hearing about his drunken behavior he was suddenly worried if he had attempted to misbehave with her, or make her do something she hadn’t wanted to.

She smiled, leaning in to kiss his cheek, “zara bhi nahi… Uss waqt bhi jab maine tumhe kiss ke liye mana kiya tab tumne mujhe jaane diya… haan… bas duniyawalo ko chilla-chilla ke bata rahe the ke tumhara honeymoon kitna dry reh gaya.”

He laughed softly; feeling relieved, and then looked at her admiring the way the texture of pink satin rivaled with the silkiness of her skin. On its own accord, his hand smoothed over her shoulder, feeling the delicate roundness, “toh aaj tum yeh… mere liye?”

She bit her lip and nodded… He sucked in a breath at her innocent sensuous action, and managed to speak, “Naina… tumko itni khubsurat lag rahi ho ke main shabdo me bayaan nahi kar sakta. Lekin yeh sab… mera matlab… tum jaanti ho ke aage kya hota hai?”

Her gaze dropped from his face to somewhere in the vicinity of his chest, and she lifted one hand to place it on his heart over his vest. It seemed she was thinking, but then slowly answered, “nahi… lekin tumhe toh pata hai na? Aur mujhe…”

“Aur tumhe kya?”, he quickly asked as she trailed off.

She took another shuddering breath and looked into his eyes, “aur mujhe tumpe bharosa hai.”

His world almost stilled just like it had the first time all those years back in school when she had told him over the phone that she believed in God and in him. At that time he had felt overwhelmed with the amount of trust she had placed in him, and had regretted instantly that the trust she had was misplaced, he had immediately tried to warn her about himself but she had seen good in that too and assured him that he was indeed a good person. Today also he felt the same overwhelming sensation… This girl who didn’t know anything about what could happen between a man and a woman was placing her full trust in him, somehow daring enough to not only surrender her heart but also her body, and believing that he would take complete care of her.

Taking a deep breath he gently kissed her forehead, moving to her closed eyes, her cheeks, her nose… and then to her waiting lips which parted immediately welcoming his gentle intrusion. This time when his hands moved over her body she didn’t object. She only shuddered and gasped softly when he slid the robe off her shoulders. When his hands gently touched her where he had never ventured before she could only moan softly. He didn’t hurry… if he had then she might have pulled back, then she might have felt threatened. But he very well handled the trust she had placed in him. His soft murmurs, butterfly caresses, and sinful intoxicating kisses took her to another parallel world where she was free… free of inhibitions, free as a human who desired, free as a woman who felt wanted. He steadily and patiently led her on a voyage where each touch carried passion, where every slither of fabric only bared more to cherish, where their soul conversed with each other, where they found that the missing pieces in them were only missing because they were born to fit like a puzzle. The steep curve of ecstasy took them both by surprise, and in the aftermath they could only stare at each other with smiles of wonder at having shared something so precious and beautiful, and feeling a deep glow of satisfaction at knowing that they had tied a bond of body and soul that would be treasured until eternity.