Romance or Sanyaas?

“muuaaahhh”

The loud sound rang in his ears and Sameer sprang up from the bed looking around the room. No one was there in the room. It was 3pm in the afternoon and he recalled he had fallen asleep after lunch. To his surprise he realized he was sweating and peeled off the sweater. What in the world was happening to him?

He had returned to Ahmedabad just that morning upon his mother’s insistence. She hadn’t been able to see her son being unhappy and tormented in Delhi. On one hand he was happy to return and on the other hand equally worried. Yes, worried because he had returned to the source of sound that was keeping him awake at nights since a week.

With a heavy-heart, he had decided that he would stay away from Naina. He was unlucky. Dadi was right. As much as he hated that woman, he had realized that she was correct in her analysis. Every single person he loved fell in trouble because of him. His dad was dead, his mother became so sick that he felt he would lose her, Nanu was already gone. And now Naina… God… hadn’t he created enough troubles in her life already? First by making her fall in love with him because of the bet, and then by loving her himself. She had to face so much problem at home, at school and even in Delhi she was almost disqualified from the competition. No no… he had made the correct decision. He would stay away from her and slowly she would forget him.

He kept re-reading her letters like a hungry parched traveler gobbling up food. Yet he had managed to avoid her phone calls, until a week before. He was at Amrita’s house to return a book he had borrowed and Naina had called just then. Even though he had been vehemently shaking his head, trying to tell Amrita to not give the phone to him, she had been fed up with his antics and told Naina that he was there. He had grudgingly held the receiver to his ear, only to close his eyes on a sigh on hearing Naina’s sweet voice. He hadn’t said a word in reply, but he knew Naina would know that it was him at the other end. He didn’t know what had been going through her head but when he hadn’t responded to her questions, she had sighed, said those three magical words and then had blown him a kiss through the receiver. He had been so surprised that he had dropped the receiver. Fumbling, cursing he had picked it up again and plastered it to his ear only to hear the dial tone, she had hung up.

The kiss had been loud enough to stir every single cell in his body and had set his heartbeat racing faster than the fastest Derby racing horse. The whole day he had walked around in trance, his ears ringing from the sound and he had been unable to utter one single word to anyone. Dadi had even said that maybe he was under the influence of some drugs. Well, he was. Completely and totally under the influence of Naina’s intoxicating kiss. He still couldn’t fathom what had come over her. He had dreamt of her every night, and none of it was respectable enough to share with anyone. He doubted he would even tell Naina about it if ever he talked to her again. Every dream had ended with a shared kiss, but not on phone or via letter, rather in-person. That was another thing. Naina had sent a letter with a lipstick kiss mark, he hadn’t been able to stop himself from kissing that mark, and especially after the phone kiss that letter was his solace. He took out the letter now and kissed that mark again. God, he was hopeless.

It was farewell the next day, and he decided to go there. He wouldn’t meet Naina or anyone else but at least he could see them, see his school one last time. He got ready to bear the pain of seeing her but not talking to her ever again. Little did he know that his plans were going to be tossed up in air.

“Tujhe pakka yakin hai aaj Sameer aayega?”, Preeti asked.

Naina lifted her school bag, a determined expression on her face, “haan woh zarur aayega.”

Unknown to Sameer, his friends already knew of his return to Ahmedabad. Rohan had overheard every single thing when Sameer had confessed to his mother about being unlucky, and he also knew there was someone special in his brother’s life. Who was it, that he didn’t know, but the pink envelope and his brother’s desperation to reach that letter was proof enough for him. He had searched through Sameer’s notebooks and found Munna’s number, called him up, and told him of what was happening in Delhi and of Sameer’s return as well. And Munna hadn’t wasted another minute, he had told of it to Naina and the others. Finally, Naina had understood why he hadn’t met her in Delhi, why he wasn’t talking to her or replying to her letters. She had been furious at his foolishness, but then a small smile had bloomed on her face recalling his reaction to her kiss. She knew Sameer was bull-headed enough that no one could talk him into changing his decision except he himself. And she knew the perfect weapon to do just that.

Sameer entered the school and hurried straight to the classroom keeping a lookout for anyone seeing him. He saw his friends laughing and talking, all of them together. Naina was sitting on the bench, her back to him. He kept expecting her to turn around, she always sensed when he was close, but she didn’t turn. He frowned. Couldn’t she feel he was here? In the classroom, Naina had already sensed his presence and told her friends. Pandit tried to see from the corner of his eyes and saw a movement near the window. Yes, Sameer was there. He informed the others.

They visited the canteen, the library, the staffroom and Sameer kept following them around like a puppy, wanting them to acknowledge his presence, yet thinking its better that they didn’t know. Finally, he saw Naina separate herself from the group. Was she coming to him? He hid himself. But she didn’t even look in his direction, instead went to the water taps. He breathed in relief, too soon. Naina drank water, and then to his utter astonishment pulled out his photo from her uniform pocket. Where did she get that? He saw her mumble something, he wanted to inch closer to hear, but he didn’t dare. However, the next moment he was rooted to the spot, when Naina brought up the photo to her lips and showered a loud kiss on it. He trembled as if she had kissed him, and not his photo.

When he gained his senses back, he saw Naina wasn’t there anymore. He looked around and found her with the group again in canteen. They were talking, and he went and stood near the window to listen.

“Dekh yaar, Sameer tujhse baat bhi nai kar raha itne dino se. Munna sahi keh raha hai ek baar tu Rajiv se baat to karle”, Swati said.

Pandit sipped his cold-drink, “haan, Rajiv achcha ladka hai. Sameer to Delhi jaake badal gaya hai, humne bataya tha na tumhe uske naye dosto ke baare me.”

Sameer was stunned. Munna and Pandit had told Naina about his gang in Delhi? How could they? he had asked them not to. And who was this Rajiv? Why were they suggesting Naina to talk to him?

“Umm… shayad thik kehte ho tum log. Main bhi pareshan ho gai hun Sameer se”, Naina said much to his astonishment.

Naina got up and went outside alone. He followed Naina to the playground and saw her walk up to a boy standing there. He was not from their school. Who was he? He hid behind a tree and saw them talking. Much to his frustration, he couldn’t hear them. But what he saw next made his blood boil. The boy extended his hands towards Naina, and she placed her own hands in his. It wasn’t a handshake. He was holding her hand much too longer for his comfort. He wanted to walk up and thrash the boy.

Amidst the red haze in-front of his eyes he saw Naina coming back, and without thinking of his own resolution he stepped in her path and saw the shock on her face as her eyes landed on him.

“S… Sameer tum?”, she stuttered.

He was so angry that he couldn’t think of anything. “Haan main”, he said through clenched teeth, “kon tha woh ladka?”

She looked tensed, “kon…konsa ladka?”

“Tum abhi jisse baat kar rahi thi”, he asked, “usne tumhara haath kyun pakda tha?”

He saw her wringing her hands in nervousness, and spied a paper clutched in her hands. Without any hesitation he grabbed her hands and pried open her fingers to take the paper out.

“Kya kar rahe ho Sameer?”, she tried to remove her hands from his hold, “chodo koi dekhlega.”

He didn’t leave her hands until he had taken the paper. He opened it to read a friendship proposal from a boy called Rajiv, asking her to meet him in the playground if she agreed. He wanted to hit something.

“Achcha, naya special friend bana liya tumne?”, he demanded, “mujhse bore ho gai ho lagta hai.”

She now had tears in her eyes, “bore to tum ho gaye ho mujhse. Tabhi to naye ajeeb se dost bana liye Delhi me aur mujhse baat bhi nai karte ab to.”

Some of his anger dissipated at her tears. He couldn’t believe that Naina thought he was bored of her. How could he tell her the real reason? Suddenly Naina caught his hands, “tum wapas aa gaye ho to ab to nai jaoge na?” He swallowed audibly. Naina was holding his hands.

She looked up at him and rubbed her thumbs against the back on his palm. At that moment he felt he could give her anything she demanded. The insistent rubbing of her thumbs was creating a warmth of different kind. She left his hands and started walking back towards the canteen, but a few steps later she turned and looked back at him, a small smile on her lips. Something soared inside him. Mindlessly he started after her, not sure where she was going, but ready to follow her till the end of the world. He saw her enter an empty classroom, but when he stepped in she wasn’t there. He stood looking around. Where was she? Was he imagining her?

“muuaah”, the sound came again, and he whirled to see Naina fleeing through the door. He dashed after her. But before he could follow her, his friends trooped in, exclaiming surprise at his return. He kept dragging his hands, wanting to go after Naina. But they didn’t leave him. Finally, when they did, he found out that Naina had left for home.

He mopped around at his home, unable take his mind off what had happened at school. What had happened to his Naina? His shy innocent Naina had changed. And he was finding it completely impossible to resist her. How could he resist her when she would hold his hands like that? And that kissing sound didn’t let him sit in peace. Finally, he decided that he needed to explain to her why he couldn’t be with her anymore. He called her but Preeti picked up and told him Naina wasn’t home. Did she go to meet that Rajiv? What if she went with him after they separated? Would he be able to see her with someone else? She would hold Rajiv’s hands, a voice in his mind prodded him. He clenched his fists, lest he broke everything in the house. Naina called him that night, and when he started to explain she asked him to meet her in school the next day as she couldn’t talk on phone for long.

He reached early and was waiting for her when she came in wearing jeans and pink shirt, same as she had in Mt. Abu. Her hair was left open, he noticed it was longer than before. He had thought that she looked beautiful then, but now, she looked even more beautiful. His eyes trailed down her curvy figure and he shivered. Dammit! Why did she have to wear jeans?

“Uniform kyun nai pehna?”, he asked as she came up to him.

She looked at him as if he had lost his mind, “farewell ho chuka hai. Ab school me padhai nai hogi”, she explained, “mujhe to library se books leni thi.”

“Library?”, he asked thinking of Safari Suit.

“Papa nai hai”, she assured and stepped ahead of him. He was still standing at the same place, watching her walk, his eyes refused to budge. Did she always sway her hips like that while walking? She stopped and again looked back at him, satisfied with his reaction, she waited until he looked up in her eyes, and then she smiled. The fine hairs stood up on his body as an almost electrical thrill ran through him. “Chalo”, she commanded, and he obeyed helplessly.

He watched her rifle through the shelves searching for some book. His tongue was still tied, his eyes still glued to assortment of body parts, his dreams flashing through his mind. He shifted uncomfortably, leaning against a table, sitting on the edge.

“Tum kuch batana chahte the”, she prompted.

Her voice jerked him out of his fantasies. He sighed knowing he shouldn’t delay anymore. He explained to her that he needed to stay away from her and that he was unlucky, he detailed out the events, all the problems he had caused her. She closed her eyes, trying to control the tears, on hearing that he had been silently watching her dance but hadn’t come forward to meet her even when she was frantically searching for him. Her silence was eating him up. He felt uneasy as if some storm was approaching. He wished she would say something, slap him, any reaction would be okay. Finally, she broke her silence when he told her how he had made her fall in love with him using his charms.

“Oh! To tumhe lagta hai tumhari shakal aur adaa ka istemaal karke tumne mujh bechari bholi ladki ko fasa liya apne pyaar ke jaal me”, she turned to face him.

He halted, looking at her, there was fire in her eyes now. He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t help but think that the anger in her eyes also made her look fabulous. She came closer, and his heartbeat started racing. He opened his mouth to say something, but she placed two fingers on his lips, shutting him up. His eyes nearly rolled back in his head at the feel of her hand against his mouth. He wanted to kiss those fingers.

“Tumhe pata hai tum itne bhi… woh kya kehte hai… haan, charming!”, she said trailing her fingers down his arm, “tum itne bhi charming nai ho ke mujhe fasa lo.” He frowned trying to concentrate on her words rather than the sensation created by her fingers.

“Main to tumse pehli baar takrai tabse tumse pyaar karti hun” she confessed looking straight in his eyes, “tumhara mujhse baat karna to bahot baad me shuru hua.” His eyes widened in surprise, at her words, and also at her action as she lifted his hand in hers and played with his fingers.

She smiled, the same small sensuous smile that left him thirsting for more, “to iss galat-faimi me mat rehna k tumhara jaadu chal gaya tha mujhpe.” She left his hands moving away from him, turning back to the bookshelf, “waise bhi ab kuch hi mahino me main college jaungi, to wahan kaafi achche ladke mil jayenge mujhe”, she turned back to look at him, “aisa nai lagta tumhe?”

He thought of what she said, she had loved him from the first day. And now she was talking about other boys. He looked at her. Yes, the way she was looking, she would get a variety of boys to choose from. He was damned if he would let her do that. He reached forward, grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. She came willingly.

“main tumhe kisi aur ladke ke paas nai jaane dunga”, he muttered.

She didn’t look up at him, lest he saw the happiness in her eyes, “good”, she said shortly.

He took her other hand, “par main unlucky hun, soch lo.”

“To fir main bhi unlucky hun”, she shrugged, “akhir meri maa mujhe janam dete hue chal basi aur Nanu bhi to tabhi chale gaye jab maine apne pyaar ka izhaar kiya tumse.”

Sameer shook his head, he couldn’t let her believe so, “aisa nai hota Naina. Tumhare maa ke guzarne me tumhari koi galti nai thi aur Nanu ko unki umar ki wajah se heart attack aaya tha.”

Naina looked up in his eyes now, “wahi to samajhna hai tumhe Sameer. Aisa nai hota.”

He frowned, confused. Then slowly he realized what he had said. It dawned on him how he had fallen in the trap of Dadi’s words. He wasn’t unlucky. Naina had loved him always, even when he hadn’t loved her. His mother loved him too, she didn’t blame him for his father’s death. How could he be unlucky. In fact, he was the luckiest person because he had Naina. Happiness began to glow deep inside and he felt at peace.

He looked at Naina and couldn’t resist anymore. He pulled her in his arms and was only a little surprised when she didn’t object at all. Something nagged in his brain and he pulled back, “woh Rajiv kaun hai?”

She grinned, “Pandit ka cousin.”

Sameer slapped his forehead, “iska matlab kal se yeh sab jo tum kar rahi thi woh natak tha? Tumhe pata tha k main yahan hun?”

Naina nodded and told him about Rohan and then their plan. “bas ek hi cheez natak nai thi”, she confessed.

“woh kya?”, he asked.

She pursed her lips and blew him a loud kiss and winked at him. He laughed pulling her to him again, wrapping his arms around her. He buried his face in her hair, “main bhi pura pagal hun. Romance karne ki umar me sanyaas lene chala tha”, he murmured. Then he forgot everything but the feel of her in his arms.