Only Mine Chapter 19: Trust and Care

A dog barked somewhere, few people huddled at the corner of the grey tiled platform, a tea-stall owner increased the flame of his stove as several people asked for a cup of tea, the digital clock overhead flickered to show the time to be 6:30am, and as if on cue a whistle blared through the air. The announcement of train arrival was barely heard over the chatter of people.

Naina peeked out of the ladies compartment door as the train glided in the station, her eyes searching for Sameer near the shop where they had decided to meet. However, he was nowhere to be seen. As soon as the train stopped she got down, looking here and there, not ready to believe that he wasn’t there. The train whistled again, ready to leave, but still Naina didn’t board, her expressions tensed as she was risking reaching late to college… But, today she was choosing to give more importance to Sameer.

In another few seconds, she saw him running towards her, and her face lit up. He too spotted her, and his eyes widened in surprise on seeing that she was waiting on the platform and not boarded the train even though it was ready to leave. Just as the train started to move, he reached her and grabbed her hand, pulling her up on the train, inside a random compartment. She stumbled a bit, her sandal slipping on the edge, but he quickly wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her to him. Instantly her mind flashed back to school when he had saved her from slipping on the stairs, and this time too she clutched on his shirt. He was panting, his chest heaving as he tried to drag in breath, and with her face so close to him she could almost feel the warmth emanating from him.

After a moment, he asked, “you okay?”

She drew back a little, her cheeks coloring, and she nodded, “yes… thank you.” He was a little dejected as she moved back and held on to the bar rather than his hand, but he didn’t object. Rather he asked, “why did you get down? You might have missed the train.”

She frowned, “I couldn’t see you… that’s why. We had decided to meet.”

“Sorry”, he smiled, “I was late because… umm… I stopped to get this.” She grinned as he pulled out a pink rose from behind, where he had tucked it in his belt.

Accepting the rose from him, she teased, “pink instead of red today? Why so?”

He smirked, “maybe because you are wearing pink.”

She looked down at herself; indeed she was dressed in a pink and blue shirt with jeans. She shook her head, chuckling at her failed attempt to tease him. Suddenly, a few people around them moved, and a man brushed against Naina. She immediately recoiled, not used to the crowd of men in general compartment. Sameer noticed it and shifted slightly, indicating her to come near the metal partition that separated the entry from seats, and then he stood in-front of her, his one hand holding the support bar above, and another hand on the partition top effectively shielding Naina from others. She glanced up at him, a soft smile curving her lips as she wondered how he understood her discomfort immediately. He gazed down at her, taking in how her hair flew in the wind, how her big hypnotic eyes were enhanced because of the liner, how the pink gloss make her lips look even more luscious than they already were. Standing so close to her he wanted to pull her in his arms, hold her as close as he could, feel the softness that had teased him in school as well whenever she had landed in his arms. He noticed her raising her hand, and wondered if she was going to hold him… She looked lost… He waited eagerly, his body strung with anticipation, but before she could act on her impulse the loud train whistle interrupted them announcing that they had reached their destination.

He sighed, wishing their colleges were further than this. As they got down, he held her hand, the station wasn’t as crowded as evening, but still he didn’t want to lose her… Plus, why give up a chance to hold her hand? He wasn’t a fool… He knew he needed every chance he got to convince her that he loved her… He knew that even before he confessed his feelings he had to make her understand that he loved her. Somehow he understood that if she was sure of his affections she would have much more courage.

As they walked towards college, he was lost in thoughts. His Naina had changed a lot… She was stylish, she knew how to dress up, she knew about makeup, she was confident in traveling alone, she had friends who were boys, but these weren’t the only changes he had noticed. There was something she was hiding from him… Her eyes would get this sad look sometimes, she wasn’t as feisty as she used to be, she hadn’t tried to prank him at all after they had met. He liked a few changes, but he didn’t like the change in her nature… Those were the very things that had attracted him to her… The fact that she didn’t rate him on his looks but rather on his behavior, the fact that she had the courage to stand up to him even when he was rude, the fact that she never pulled back from expressing what was on her mind, the fact that she always tried to talk whenever there was a problem… But now they talked… Yet, they didn’t…

She tugged on his hand, pulling him out of his thoughts, and asked, “where are you lost?”

He smiled down at her, “the only place I would like to be lost is in your eyes. But, you don’t give me enough time to do that.”

“You shouldn’t talk like that”, she blushed.

He queried, “why?”

She tried to explain, “we have just started dating… we don’t even know if we feel something or what do we feel.”

He stopped and turned to her, “hmmm… I hear you… But this isn’t time to discuss what I feel. Your college is here.”

She frowned and looked at the building they stood in-front of. Indeed it was her college. How had she not realized it? He had been lost in thoughts, not her… Well that wasn’t exactly true, since she had been trying to decipher her own behavior in train. She couldn’t believe she had actually lifted her hand to hold on to his shoulders. What was happening to her?

Sameer saw her expressions and understood something was disturbing her, he hoped it was him… He wanted to be in her thoughts all the time. The more she thought about him, the more she tried to analyze her own actions with him, the sooner she would realize that she too did care about him. He was sure she cared… He didn’t dare to use the L word yet, but care… yes, she definitely did. Maybe even attraction… That could kick-start few things.

Suddenly he spied a few people near the college gate and they were looking at them. Frowning he asked, “are they your friends?”

Naina looked in the direction of college once again, and nodded, “yes… come… you should meet them.”

He shook his head, “not today… I need to rush, else my classes will start.”

She gripped his hand tight, and slowly asked, “will I see you after college? At the station entrance?”

He grinned, “try and stop me honey.” Then he leaned forward, enjoying the way her eyes widened, and whispered in her ear, “I will meet your friends the day you are ready to introduce me as your boyfriend.”

She gasped, he winked at her and then walked away to go to his own college. Still in a daze, Naina slowly walked up to her friends who immediately started questioning.

“Who is he?”

“Why were you with him?”

“Is he your boyfriend?”

“Why did you let him kiss you?”

The last question from Bikram took her by surprise, and she queried, “what are you talking about? He didn’t kiss me.”

Chaaya giggled, “yes he did… we all saw it… on your cheeks.”

Naina was puzzled, but slowly recalled the way he had leaned and whispered in her ear. From the onlookers perspective it might have seemed that he was kissing her on cheek. She smiled, “no he didn’t… He was just saying something to me… in my ears.”

“Oh was he?” Chaaya teased, “but… do tell me who’s the handsome hunk?”

The boy my family chose for me.

It was the truth, but she didn’t say it, rather she said, “an old friend from school time. We just met again.”

Gurdeep frowned, “just for an old friend he seemed to be very… cozy.”

Naina laughed, “don’t worry about him. Let’s go… the class is starting.”

Once again her day passed in restlessness, as this time she kept thinking what she felt for him. Why the slightest touch of other men in the train made her uneasy, yet when Sameer held her she never felt uneasy… Not now, not earlier, not even in school. She had, like he used to love reminding her, fallen in his arms quite often and had never felt any discomfort.

This isn’t school Naina.

Yes, she was very much aware of that fact. In school she had enjoyed being with him, talking to him, playing pranks on him… There had barely been anything more than that except maybe that one moment in rains which she still was ready to attribute to weird chemical disturbance. But now… unless these chemical disturbances were a constant feature inside her, she couldn’t deny that there was some… uh… more than some attraction from her side when it came to Sameer. She wasn’t oblivious to how he looked, but it was so much more than that… The care and concern that he had shown for her in the short time they had been together… Just one date… one… and she was already dreaming of many dates to come. She had thought they wouldn’t meet every day, yet she was the one to suggest that they meet daily on local train. The way he had eased her yesterday after the park fiasco made her wonder how had she not seen this side of him in school. He held her hand, touched her, almost had her in his arms but still he had never overstepped any boundaries that could put her on guard. Till now she had only seen how boys and girls ventured down the path on intimacy once they began dating – maybe starting from holding hands to the extremely appalling public display she had witnessed in the park. And she had thought she would never be comfortable with any of it with any boy…

But, Sameer was changing the very definition of intimacy for her. He didn’t touch her, but yet she craved to touch him. He only talked about kiss, yet she eyed his lips trying to imagine. He teased her about the perceptions she had, yet she spent every moment perceiving him in her dreams. How had he affected her so much in one day? Or was it just one day…? If he had never affected her before this then why had she spent so much time looking for him? And there was still the past between them about how he had never called her…

Even after all the constant thinking she didn’t reach any conclusion regarding her feelings for Sameer, but as soon as the college ended it seemed like there was some strong force compelling her to rush to the station to meet him. However, midway she shrieked in surprise when someone caught her hand and tugged her back.

Frightened she squeezed her eyes shut and began to struggle. “Leave me”, she gasped.

“Naina hush”, a deep voice commanded and she stilled. Sameer? She opened her eyes, and sighed in relief on seeing it was indeed him. However, next moment she immediately flared up, “what are you doing? How can you just… just pull me like this?”

He glanced around, noticing all the people staring at them, “keep your voice down… else they will think I am harassing you and beat me up.”

Naina also looked around, and her eyes widened in mortification, “I… I am sorry.”

“No… I am”, he smiled, “I thought to meet you here so that we can walk back together… And then I wanted to grab something to eat while waiting for you, but you were just running away as if you are going to miss the train.”

“I wasn’t running”, she countered.

“Almost”, he shrugged, “want to eat?”

She refused, “no… PB will have lunch ready for me.”

He took the dish of sandwich from the vendor and offered, “here… take just a bite then…”

She held his hand and bit into the sandwich as he asked, and then stood watching him gobble up the entire dish quickly. Narrowing her eyes she asked, “what did you eat for breakfast?”

He paid the bill, and said, “two bananas and an apple.”

She didn’t say anything but wondered if he didn’t get time to cook for himself, then why didn’t he hire a maid. And who did all the other housework? Cleaning, washing clothes, buying grocery… He can’t do all of that, could he?

They started walking and he asked, “something on your mind?”

“Questions”, she replied.

He glanced at her, “then ask…”

She was silent for a moment, and then said, “I want to… but not yet.” Sameer didn’t ask her again, or pester her; he wanted to give her time. He only hoped he had enough patience.

April turned to May; days went by like this… They formed a daily routine of traveling by train, and every day Sameer would bring her a flower. They met on proper dates twice more, once a lunch on Sunday and another was a visit to a proper park one evening, and both the times Sameer brought her gifts. They talked almost every night on phone, and slowly their conversations began to expand from food and clothes to their education, their friends, other activities that they did. Naina kept PB and Preeti appraised on her equation with Sameer, but didn’t talk to anyone else in her family. He on the other hand kept Nanu informed about his progress with Naina, and also had an extremely difficult discussion with Munna and Pandit because they constantly teased him for being a fool in school.

There was a comfortable rhythm in Sameer and Naina’s lives, yet both of them felt there was something missing. They both knew what it was… They were supposedly in a relationship… Yet, Naina knew she never divulged anything about her family, her past or the real reason she shifted to Mumbai. And Sameer… He had told her about his past but still hadn’t been able to gather courage to tell her about his present life. The fear that gripped their hearts was too strong… And they worried that they would lose whatever little progress they had made in their relationship. One thought that the past had a way to ruin the present, and another was lost in the dilemma of a no-so-perfect present ruining the hope of a future.

They had their final exams, and during that time even though they traveled together daily the strain of hiding things from each other started to show between them. But both of them attributed the other’s tension to exams. On the last day of exams, Sameer asked her on the train, “Naina… today I have to be with my friends after exam. A small get-together in college. You want to join?”

She sadly refused, “no… we also have made plans to go out.”

He was a bit disappointed, but understood, “umm… okay. Then can we spend tomorrow together? It’s been so long since we met somewhere else.”

She swallowed, suddenly unsure of how to be with him without explaining about her family. She can’t hide things from him forever. However, before fear could overcome her and she could say no, a bunch of college boys started to hoot and thump each other, jumping in merriment over something. Sameer and Naina were standing opposite each other, as the train was surprisingly not much crowded this morning. However as the boys started to jump, Sameer took her hand and pulled her to his side, sliding his arm around her waist, but then hesitated and held her around the shoulders instead. She nestled against him, surprised at his protectiveness, her heart thumped with a peculiar sensation as she looked up at him to find that he was also looking at her. Their eyes met, and a smile automatically curved her lips, the awkwardness melted and after a brief deliberation she wound an arm around his back, holding onto him instead of the metal bar. He dragged in a shuddering breath, his heart thundering, and his fingers rubbed her arm spreading heat in both their bodies. “Naina”, he murmured, every cell in his body rejoicing at her touch.

She blushed, but held his gaze as she said, “yes… let’s meet tomorrow.”

“I want the whole day with you”, he demanded.

Her fingers clenched on his back, gripping his shirt and she nodded, “yes.”

That night Sameer called and asked her to meet him near the ticket counter at her station at 10am. When she asked where they were going he said it was a surprise. Naina told PB of their plan, and she approved. Next morning Naina dressed in a white and blue top pairing it with dark blue jeans. She kept her look simple as she was not sure where they were going. Her hair was left open, large silver hoops in her ears and she used the same smudge proof lipstick that PB had bought for her. Recalling how unusual Sameer’s eating patterns was she decided to prepare something for him. That would be a good surprise for him. Hence she dismissed the maid for some time that morning and prepared aloo-paratha just like she used to cook in school. Given that she hadn’t cooked much since she came to Mumbai, the parathas burnt a little, and she debated whether to take them or not.

PB wandered inside the kitchen, surprised to see Naina, and asked, “what are you doing here?”

Naina flushed at being caught, and stammered, “uh… umm… I just… uh… thought of cooking breakfast.”

“Not for me, I am sure”, PB teased, “is this for Sameer?”

Naina bit her lip and sighed, “it is… but now I am wondering if I should take it… it’s burnt.”

PB discarded her worry with a wave of hand, “c’mon… you should take it of course, because all that matters is that you made it for him… first time.”

Naina nodded and packed the parathas in foil, smiling to herself as she thought that it wasn’t really the first time. After the first time he had stolen her tiffin and praised the paratha, she had started making extra every time and took them especially for him. She wasn’t sure if he had ever noticed or not… and it didn’t matter now. But today… she hoped he noticed that these were cooked by her.

As she sat down for breakfast along with PB, the phone rang, and the maid mentioned it was a call for Naina. She left her bread-butter and picked up the phone, wondering if it was Sameer. But the voice was of someone she wasn’t expecting to hear at all.

“Ta…Tau…Tauji”, she stammered in shock.

The one-sided conversation that followed broke her heart and would have felled her spirit too had it not been for a hope that burned bright in her heart… And the hope’s name was Sameer. She needed to go to him now!

PB was worried on seeing her expressions and immediately queried, “what’s wrong?”

Naina dragged in a deep breath trying to control her emotions, she shook her head, and handed over the phone to PB, “you talk… I have to go.”

PB took the phone from her, and started to say, “Naina…”, but by then she had already picked up her purse and rushed outside.

Sameer was waiting for her at the agreed place, with a red rose in his hand. He was eager to start the date. This was the first time they would meet for the whole day. They needed it… Off late he had noticed the slight awkwardness that had started developing between them, and he didn’t like it. Maybe she wasn’t comfortable in sharing everything with him yet, and it was okay… Maybe she needed more time, and he was okay to give it to her. But he wouldn’t let that create distance between them. He had thought a lot last night, and finally decided that if he had to tell everything about his current lifestyle to her to reduce this distance then he would. At least then it would be out in the open if she was okay with what he was doing or not… And somewhere deep inside his heart he was sure that his decision to live on whatever he earned would only make Naina proud. Yet there were certain insecurities because now Naina seemed to have a fairly lavish lifestyle… It was evident in her dressing and the tales she had told of her life in Mumbai. But he was ready to face those insecurities today.

He saw her walking over hurriedly to him, and grinned, but then he frowned on seeing her expressions. She seemed worried about something. As soon as she reached him, he asked, “hi… are you okay?”

To add to his worry, she didn’t meet his eyes as she said, “yes, I am fine. Let’s go.”

He couldn’t understand what was the matter, but still gave the rose to her, “umm… for you.”

That brought a small smile to her lips, “thank you.”

Sameer bought the tickets for their destination, and she was puzzled, “why are we going to Bandra?”

“You will see”, he grabbed her hand and tugged her to the platform.

Naina sighed, feeling some amount of relief as soon as he held her hand. But her worries hadn’t eased yet… Surprisingly enough they did find a place to sit on the train, and when he tried to leave her hand, she held on tight. He smiled, letting her hold his hand, and once again tried to ask, “Naina… I can feel you are worried about something. Please tell me what is it?”

She leaned onto his side, tilting her head to rest on his shoulder, “I will… but not here.”

He didn’t ask further, just felt glad that she chose to lean on him… It meant whatever her concern was she at least trusted him to understand. He didn’t know what it was but promised himself that he would hear it out patiently and try to resolve it for her… She closed her eyes absorbing the feeling of being with him. It was so new, she thought as tears pricked her eyes… She had just started to believe that there was someone special in her life, just started to experience the sensations this feeling caused, just started to contemplate how she could move forward… But now it seemed there was a blind turn in the road, and she was scared… She didn’t know what lay ahead. What if this was it? What if once again she had to accept that there could be nothing between her and Sameer? Would she be able to live without talking to him or meeting him?

After around thirty minutes he shook her, “Naina… wake up.”

She stirred, rubbing her eyes, “hmmm… Sameer?”

“Yes”, he smiled, “who else?”

Blinking her eyes, she stifled a yawn, “did I fall asleep?”

He held her hand and stood up, “yes… I am a comfortable pillow.”

A hiccupping laughter sputtered out of her, but soon died down as she recollected the phone call. He helped her down to the platform, and then turned to her, “Naina… honey… I don’t know what’s troubling you but I promise whatever it is we will find a solution to it… together.”

She looked up at him, “together?”

He nodded, “yes… you and me… we make such a great team… Remember how we pranked that Sanjay when he dared to touch you?”

This time she did laugh aloud. He hailed a cab for them and Naina kept on reminiscing the only prank that they hadn’t played on each other but played together. Poor Sanjay… He had just dared to touch her hand once, and no prank had been too much for Sameer to put him through. Naina had only agreed at first to replace his glasses with the exact same frame but different lenses, so that he would find it impossible to read what was written on blackboard and keep thinking the whole day what was wrong with his eyes. And that prank had been a huge hit… But then she had been surprised with the several fiascos that Sanjay had faced the whole day… The tires of his cycle had been removed and students had found them hanging from a tree. After a kabbadi match during sports period when he had put on his shoes and walked, they had squeaked making the students laugh on him. He had found three love letters in his bag from three unknown girls who had asked him to meet at different locations within the school, and like an idiot he had gone to those three places only to be met with supposed accidents. The first one had been in sports room where several cricket equipments had by chance fallen on him from a shelf above, and the investigation by the sports sir had revealed there was no fault in the shelves so obviously Sanjay might have stumbled against the shelf thus causing the equipments to fall… The second one was near the water taps in compound where had had waited for a minute before a tap had suddenly unsscrewed drenching him in water and when he had complained about it to the teacher, they had gone to check only to find the tap properly screwed with no sign of tampering… The third and final one had been on the school terrace where he had gone only to slip and fall in a pile of wet mud and leaves which no one could explain how had reached the terrace… No one had believed Sanjay when he had said that someone was troubling him on purpose but Naina had understood who was behind all these supposed accidents. After school she had waited with Preeti and Swati in the school and as expected Sameer had arrived with his friends, all of them still laughing over the pranks they had played.

Naina had strictly asked, “did you skip school for all these stunts?”

Sameer had grinned unabashedly and accepted, “of course… it was worth it… did you see the look on his face? I swear he would never dare to touch another girl.”

Preeti and Swati had laughed out, and when Naina had glared at them Preeti had scoffed, “don’t pretend you didn’t enjoy. You were laughing the most when his shoes squeaked.”

Naina had tried to suppress her smile but had totally failed and laughed out, making Sameer raise his collar with pride.

The cab stopped at their destination and Naina looked out gasping in surprise. Sameer paid the bill and as they stepped out, he asked, “like it?”

She turned to look at him in amazement, “wow… here?”

He nodded, “I wasn’t sure what you would like… I knew about Marine Drive but we couldn’t spend whole day there. So, I figured you would enjoy some place from where we can see the sea.”

She gripped his hand in excitement, “oh Sameer… I always wanted to come here, but my friends are not into historical places so much and PB can’t climb up all those stairs. Oh, this is amazing! Thank you so much!”

One seeing her happiness, he felt immensely proud that he had thought of bringing Naina to Castella De Aguada, or the Bandra Fort as it was commonly called. This fort was built in 1640 as a watch tower by the Portugese, and had breathtaking views of the Mahim Bay. Ideally, he would have liked to watch the sunrise or sunset from here with Naina, but given this was the first time they were spending the whole day together he didn’t want to impose much on her time. Plus he had no idea if she would like it or not. Thankfully she did, and bonus on top was that she hadn’t visited this place yet. He had been here twice, both times alone to capture some photographs and get some outdoor exercise.

Hand in hand they entered the sprawling courtyard and climbed up the stairs that would lead them to the broken ruins which were now overgrown with grass and plants. Naina kept looking around with wide eyes, trying to take in the architecture, some part of her brain imagining how it must have looked before. Majestic, for sure… How had people lived here? They would have had gorgeous views of the open seas but it would have been so windy and cold in some season, and when it rained they would have been able to see the big waves.

She mused aloud, “it would be such a view during monsoon.”

They stopped at the edge, and he replied, “yes… I had planned to come here once during rains but couldn’t make it for some reason.”

“Not many people come here”, she observed.

He nodded, “you could see some crowd in early morning and evening, that’s when people come to see the sunrise and sunset. During the day if someone comes here they are usually near the amphitheater, or down by the sea. There’s no shelter up here, it could get hot.”

She smiled, “I love it… let’s sit there.”

Walking over to the grassy knoll she pointed at, they sat down facing the sea side. Sameer unzipped his backpack, “I have brought some water. There’s no place to eat lunch here, but there are couple of stalls nearby where we can get some food.”

Naina drank water and handed the bottle back to him, “it’s okay… I have brought something to eat.”

He was surprised, “you have? What?”

To his surprise she blushed as she said, “umm… aloo paratha.”

His heart thudded hard, and he queried, “you… cooked?”

She nodded, but then her expressions turned a bit sad as she added, “but they are slightly burnt.”

He chuckled, “just like in school… I wanted that…”

Surprised she looked up, “you did?”

He smiled and nodded, and she wondered what it meant. If he had liked all those gestures in school then why hadn’t he ever called her up? She gazed at the distant sea, all those days of pain and rejection coming back to her like the waves rising higher and higher. Her breathing increased as tears started to gather in her eyes…. The humiliation and hurt overlapping with the heartbreaking news she had received this morning. An unannounced sob escaped her lips, and Sameer turned to look at her, shocked to see her cry.

“Naina”, he touched her shoulder, “why are you crying?”

She folded her knees up to her chest, curling as if to prevent herself from being hurt, “Tauji called this morning…” She continued in a low voice, “he said that since I wasn’t agreeing to the wedding with you yet, they would look for another boy for me, and he would talk to Nanaji about getting you married to Preeti.”

“What”, he squeaked in disbelief.

Naina sobbed harder, “he said he can’t let your family’s proposal get out of hands because it would be beneficial for his law practice in future. So, if not me, then Preeti can marry you. Anyways she is… she is a better fit.”

Sameer couldn’t believe what he was hearing… He gaped at her, not knowing what to say. But she was still not done, her voice broke as she explained further, “she has parents who can give a proper dowry, she is better looking than me, she has a family, and her name isn’t tainted in the society. So yeah… maybe she is a better fit for you.”

He cupped her face, making her turn to look at him, “what the hell are you talking about? I am not going to marry Preeti… Are you mad? How can your family even propose such a thing? And how can you say she is better fit?”

Sheer desperation propelled her to force his hand away and stand up, “maybe she is not… maybe someone else is… I know I am definitely not… else… else you wouldn’t have rejected me.”

Confused he also stood up, “when did I reject you?”

“In school”, she yelled, still sobbing, “I gave you my number… but you never called… and then when we met you behaved so badly.”

Anger shot through his veins too, “I didn’t call you? How can you accuse me like that Naina? I called you so many times that I have lost count, but you never picked up… and God knows how many people you have living in your home… every time someone else would pick the call and I couldn’t ask for you because I was worried..”

“Nice excuse”, she scoffed, “it is impossible that I never picked because I kept waiting for your call.”

He was not one to back down, “oh did you? Oh yeah… You did pick up one time… But tell me… if you were waiting for my call then why the heck you disconnected after hearing my voice?”

Frustrated she pushed her hair back from her face, “what are you talking about? I never did anything like that?”

“Yes you did”, he argued, “as soon as you said hello I knew it was you… and I said it was me… But you disconnected after that… The only thing I heard is some woman calling your name, so there wasn’t even a shred of doubt left in me that just like everyone else you had also left me alone.”

Naina wanted to yell back at him, but the way his voice broke when he said she had left him alone stumped her. She was shocked to see tears in his eyes… What was happening? Sameer never cried… Why was he crying? Dazed she kept looking at him as he continued, “I know I was rude when we met in Ahmedabad for the last time… But I was hurt… Still I wanted to apologize to you, so after coming to Mumbai I called you up so many times… Preeti and Swati wouldn’t tell me where you were… Pandit failed to find out your number… I tried Naina… I tried.”

Trying to control her muddled thoughts she tried to recollect if there had been any time when he could have called and she had disconnected. Those days were hazy for her now… but he had mentioned a woman’s voice… Why would she disconnect if there was some woman around? She could pretend in-front of Chachiji… But what if it was… After few minutes she remembered something, and gasped, “Taiji…”

Puzzled Sameer looked behind him, and muttered, “who? There’s no one here.”

She shook her head, “Taiji… She had come inside and that’s why I had disconnected… I… I… didn’t know it was you.”

It took him a few minutes to digest the information, and he slowly asked, “you didn’t hear me?”

She looked distressed, “no… I would never have disconnected otherwise.”

“Even if someone from your family had been there?” He queried.

She didn’t even have to think for a moment, as she said, “no… I would just have pretended that some friend from school had called me… I mean some girl.” There was moment of silence, and then she asked in a tearful voice, “you really called many times?”

He nodded. They stood facing each other, a gap of a few feet dividing them, the afternoon silent except for the sound of sea… Minutes ticked by and then just like a wave that rose high in the sea and broke into tiny droplets against the wall of the fort, the yearning inside them which had been curbed over the years surfaced like a wave and broke in the form of tears as an invisible rope tugged them towards each other… Naina slipped her arms around him, her head against his chest, and he held her to him, his hands wrapping around her in a tight embrace…

The sound of another wave. A gentle gust of wind. A lone bird chirped nearby.

The feel of her body so close to his soothed him more than he expected. His arms around her tightened a fraction more in that moment and she felt protected and cherished. There was something so warm, something that felt so right, so familiar that she felt her worries disappear little by little until her bones turned limp and she melted against him. Even his heartbeat seemed familiar for they matched the rhythm of her own heart.

I love you.

He wanted to confess but didn’t because he understood that this was still just a beginning. The yearning and desperation that he had seen in her eyes had been inside him too. While he had contained it because he was afraid to scare her off, maybe she had done so too… maybe knowingly because of some reasons that he didn’t know… or maybe unknowingly trapped them in her heart like a crystal trapped in stone. The biggest roadblock that had hampered them was out of the way now… He knew she hadn’t left him alone, and she knew that he hadn’t rejected her. But there were still so many things to resolve. For instance what had she meant when she said Preeti’s name isn’t tainted in the society?

He stroked her hair and then drew back a bit, “Naina… we need to talk.” She stirred in his arms as if waking up from sleep, looked up at him and immediately blushed. He grinned, “if you keep blushing like this our first kiss will also happen today.”

She gasped, immediately pulling back from his arms, and he let her. It was almost noon now and the place was getting hotter. Thinking for a moment he knelt to pick up his bag pack and her purse, and then grabbed her hand, “let’s go somewhere else… its hot here.”

She took her purse from him and followed him without a word still somewhat dazed by how overwhelming the simple hug was. She had never thought that being in someone’s arms could give her so much peace. How long had they stood like that? She didn’t know… but as she glanced sideways at him she knew she wanted to hug him again. That thought brought a smile on her face…

After ten minutes of walking they reached the amphitheater, which mercifully wasn’t as crowded as he had expected. Choosing a spot at the far end he sat down on a step, and pulled her beside him, wrapping an arm around her. She fidgeted for a moment, and then said, “people will think we are a couple.”

“We are”, he simply replied. And then dragging a deep breath he told her of how he had felt when she had left from the fair without meeting him, and then hadn’t even picked his calls. He told her that when she had disconnected he had felt she didn’t want to have to do anything with him. He explained about his conversation with Nanu and then his decision to shift to Mumbai. He sighed, “apart from my drive to be independent, the other reason was that I need to be away from you. In a short amount of time you had become too much important for me… That day when we met, I had gone to visit my school one last time, but it was filled with your memories. And so I left from there… when I saw you, I was worried that you were hurt, but then… you hesitated to give me your hand. It reminded me of everything I was trying to forget. So I behaved badly with you… I am sorry.”

She shook her head, “I had also gone to my school that day. And I hesitated because I thought you had never called me. The rejection was… too much. And then the way you behaved… it was like being rejected all over again.”

He pulled her closer, rubbing her arm, and apologized again, “I am so sorry honey. I tried to find you… Preeti wouldn’t tell me about you… Munna and Pandit even met her and Swati, and still they didn’t tell. Then when I was in Ahmedabad during last summer vacation, I got to know from the pani-puri vendor that you were there… I called you again, but Preeti told me you had left. I was dejected… and then I saw you in the theatre, and I hoped it was the beginning of something new… but…”

Naina bit her lip as he trailed off, “I wanted to call you again after we met at the theatre… but… I lost your number.”

“What”, he asked incredulously.

She sputtered, embarrassed, “so..sorry… The paper was tucked in a magazine and PB sold them off. I even went to that man who bought old newspapers and magazine from us, but he said he couldn’t find it.”

He stared at her nonplussed, and then asked, “you went to a pastiwala to find my number again…?”

She blushed, and nodded. He smiled, somehow this confession gave him the strength to confess further too without feeling vulnerable. “I also looked for you”, he informed.

Puzzled she queried, “how? You didn’t have my number.”

He scratched the back of his neck, slightly discomfited, “ummm… I may have… visited colleges.”

She was still confused, “I don’t understand… You had no idea which college I studied in.” He nodded, staring at her, and saw her eyes narrowing as she tried to decipher his meaning. Suddenly her eyes widened, “you looked in all the colleges?”

Glancing away from her, he nodded shortly, wondering if she would think of him as mad. But to his surprise, she hugged him again. A grin split his face as he held her, and her voice was muffled against his shoulder as she further confessed, “I called up every Sameer and every Maheshwari in Mumbai.”

Shocked, he pulled back and looked at her flushed face, “you did what? How many Sameer Maheshwari are there in Mumbai?”

“Three”, she replied promptly, “but I called every Sameer… even if it was with a different last name… and every Maheshwari.”

He gaped at her, his mouth opening and closing without a sound. And then he slowly asked, “how would you find me if you called up some Sameer… I don’t know… Patel or Vohra…”

She pouted, pulling back from him and crossing her arms, “I don’t know… maybe I didn’t think so much because I just wanted to find you anyhow.”

He smiled at her pout, lifting his hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, “is there something else that you did?”

She nodded, “I called up Preeti and asked her to find your number from Munna and Pandit. But they were away for a month.”

He rolled his eyes, mentally cursing the one month study tour. After a moment she asked, “if you looked in every college how come you never found me?”

“I did find a Naina Agarwal in your college”, he informed, “but when I went to meet her in library it wasn’t you. No one said there was another one in the same college… Maybe you weren’t there that day. That’s why I had asked you in the café if you bunked your classes.”

“How long did it take?” she queried.

He chuckled, “couple of months… since I didn’t have much spare time with college and job both.”

“I am sorry”, she apologized, “Preeti was trying to protect me because she thought you had hurt me… so she didn’t tell you anything about me. She didn’t even tell me about your calls until I told her to find your number for me.”

His expressions were somber, “I did hurt you Naina.”

“Not more than I hurt you”, she replied, “none of us wanted to… I guess that’s what matters.”

He smiled, “no… what matters is that even after all that filmy hit-and-miss we are here now… together. And another thing that matters is that I am extremely hungry now, so what about that aloo paratha?”

She laughed, and pulled out the tiffin box from her purse. Unwrapping one paratha, she rolled it and held it up for him. He grinned, held her hand and happily took a bite, “mmmm… delicious… bit spicy than it used to be, but amazing.”

She frowned, “I added the same amount of chilly.”

He assured, “it’s okay… it’s the Mumbai effect… see you are also bit spicier than before.”

She gasped, and he quickly stuffed a bit of paratha in her mouth before she could scold him. They finished all the paratha, all the while bickering lightly. After they were done, he tentatively broached the subject, “Naina… remember on our first date I had told you that if we were going to do this properly we need to share our life with each other.”

She nodded, the smile disappearing from her face. It almost made him want to drop the subject, but it was important to talk, and so he continued, “I want to know Naina… Tell me why you were saying that Preeti is a better fit for me? Why would your family try to take such a horrible decision?”

Naina closed her eyes, understanding that she needed to tell him… Her past didn’t hurt her, but what happened today did, and she had herself understood the amount of insecurity she had about her family situation. If not then she wouldn’t have panicked and said all those things to Sameer. It was obvious he wouldn’t marry Preeti, and of course Chachaji wouldn’t let it happen, Preeti also wouldn’t marry Sameer. But still she had felt insecure… She folded her arms, as if trying to ward of the chill, and still with her eyes closed, started to tell him, “my mother passed away while giving birth to me. That’s why my father didn’t want me… Tauji took the decision to hand me over to Chachaji and Chachiji because they have two daughters of their own. I have already told you that my father and brother live next door with Tauji and Taiji. I never had a good relationship with my father… None of my achievements meant anything to him. My brother used to love me, or so I thought… My equation with my father never hurt me… it bothered me, naturally, and I wanted that my father be also like a normal father. But it was still alright since I had Chachaji.”

Sameer heard the toneless description, and thought how a father can be such a jerk. He further prodded, “if that didn’t hurt you then why did it bother you so much today? And what did you mean when you said that Preeti’s name isn’t tainted in the society?”

She shuddered, the pain of those slaps still fresh in her heart. He lips trembled, and even though she didn’t want to cry a few traitorous drops leaked from her eyes.

“Naina”, he murmured, reaching out for her.

But she gathered herself and stood up. She couldn’t take his comfort now… if she did she would fall weak and wouldn’t be able to share with him. Walking away a bit, she dragged in a deep breath and said, “I said that because my name is tainted… My family and everyone in my society think that I had an affair. That’s the reason they sent me away to Mumbai.”

“What the hell”, he almost yelled, and she jumped, turning to look at him. She waited as he stormed up to her and wondered what questions he would ask. He held her shoulder, his eyes burning, “How can they think like that? How can they accuse you? Why didn’t you tell them you never had any affair?”

Her heart skipped beats, relief pulsing through her, “you… you believe that I didn’t…”

He frowned, “of course Naina… I don’t know what happened but I am sure it was all a misunderstanding. I can excuse the society maybe, but your family… They should know you better.”

She wiped her tears, “Chachaji, Chachiji and Preeti believed me… but no one else did. I couldn’t tell them anything at that moment.”

“Why not?” He asked, puzzled, “Why would you bear such a blame in silence?”

She looked away from him, hesitating for a moment and then said, “because the lady who spread this around saw me with you… The last day we had met and you came to drop me.”

His hands dropped from her shoulders in sheer shock, “me? They thought you had an affair with me?”

She hastily clarified, “they didn’t know who you were… the lady just said she saw me with a boy.”

Utter shock was still etched on his face, “and that was enough to accuse you?”

She shrugged, “it was for her and apparently my family too.”

His heart ached on seeing the pain still visible in her eyes, “you could have told them who I was… Then they would have talked to Nanu and the situation could have been handled.”

Her expressions were incredulous as she quizzed, “are you mad? You don’t know my family… If I had told them it was you they would have embarrassed you and Nanaji both. You know how much I respect Nanaji…. And…” She looked away from him, “and I couldn’t take your name… My father would have hit you… I just… just wanted to protect you.”

To say that he was shocked would be an understatement. It took him minutes to understand what she was saying and his fists clenched in anger, a red mist in-front of his eyes. He turned back from her, and kicked a loose stone into oblivion, his voice was clipped as he said, “they hurt you because of me… if I hadn’t followed you all the way then this wouldn’t have…”

Before he could finish his statement, a pair of soft warm hands hugged him from behind. He stilled in surprise, and she said, “no… don’t blame yourself. You came with me because you cared… And I stayed silent because I cared. It’s not your fault.”

He turned in her arms and hugged her, rubbing her back, “did they hit you?” A few moments later she nodded against his chest. The rage in his veins burned brighter, “who?”

“Sameer…”, she tried to pacify, but he interrupted, “Naina… tell me who.”

She gulped, “papa and Taiji.” He hugged her tighter, “and your Tauji? And your brother?”

She shook her head, “Tauji believes he can’t hit girls. And Arjun bhaiya didn’t say anything at that time.”

His eyes narrowed, “meaning later on he did?” Sighing, she told him about the entire Shefali-Arjun incident and how that had put an end to her own relationship with her brother.

He kept holding her, trying to assure her without words that he was with her. And it seemed she understood because she relaxed in his arms. After a minute he said, “I could never marry Preeti or any other girl… you know why?”

She asked without looking up, “why?” He smiled, “can you hear my heartbeats?” She nodded, and he said, “no one apart from you makes them race like this… that’s why.”

She smiled but didn’t reply, and it was not needed. For now all they had needed was assurance from each other. Naina had trusted him with her past, and now he needed to make her aware of his present. Pulling back from the hug, he asked, “how about the second part of our date?”

She smiled, “what have you planned?”

“I want to show you where I live, how I live”, he said, “would you like that?”

Her eyes widened in elation, “you mean your home? Will you play your guitar for me?”

He chucked, “yes I will… And I will also cook dinner for you.”

“Deal”, she grinned, “let’s go… quick.”

He laughed as she pulled him away, happy that she was so eager. And now he was assured that the girl who was strong enough to bear rebuke of her family and society to protect him wouldn’t mind a single bit that he lived in less than lavish condition. He knew she would be proud of him. And he was looking forward to this visit almost as much as he was looking forward to the plan that was forming in his head.