Only Mine
Chapter 14: The Year Of Moving On

The morning after the first rains was misty, with some grey clouds still lingering, the sun struggling to shine its rays. The leaves on trees that were dusty in summer now sparkled with droplets of water; a few flowers nodded their heads in the gentle wind. Sameer was sleeping on his stomach, his head turned to side, his one leg curved at knee to cover his whole bed. Very soon as the rays of sun reached him, he shifted and sighed, opening his eyes, blinking to find something white and furry extremely close to his face. A bit startled by the alien factor, he jerked upright, and that was when he realized he was holding the rabbit close to him while asleep. How had he ended up doing that?

The rains… it was the rains. That was what must have caused him to do this stupidity. Keeping the rabbit aside he slid off the bed, and stretched, planning his day out in his mind. He resisted a lot, but the lure of the bright sunlight on his balcony was too strong a lure. So he gave in and walked out, and for a moment stood still… surprised that he could indeed see the beauty in the weather. What was happening to him? Was that weird chemical disturbance that had been present in the air yesterday still affecting him? And just as he thought that, a smile broke out on his face, again taking him by surprise.

Weird chemical disturbance… seriously… that girl can classify anything with science and logic.

Maybe it would have been simpler for both of them if she had been an all-soft-heart type of girl, then maybe he would have ignored her for staring at him with dreamy eyes, or maybe she could have been able to better explain to both of them what had happened that day in rain. He still didn’t understand what was it… but one thing he couldn’t deny anymore… He missed her. How it had come to this, he didn’t know, but he did miss her. And just with this acceptance came the realization that he hadn’t exactly been friendly to her in their last meeting, so if they ever met again – the chances of which were almost nil – she would probably… umm… stomp his foot. And once again, he was surprised that he wanted to see her again, even if she did stomp his foot.

Having done that self-assessment, he took a deep breath and moved on to the next big question that was looming in-front of him. How to talk to her or meet her? Should he go back to Ahmedabad for the weekend? Nanu would be overjoyed. And then he could call up her home from there and try to talk to her. But then… if it was just about calling her, then… he could do it from here too. That might be a better idea. He could call from here, get an idea about how she is, and assess the probability of her murdering him if they met… and then he could go to Ahmedabad and apologize to her for being a jerk and then quarrel with her for not talking to him after the fair. And then what? Where would that lead them to? Would they again have an unnamed relationship? Or would they be friends? Or could they be… something more?

What are you thinking Sameer?

Exactly… What was he thinking… How could he even think of something more than friendship with Naina? He had to remember she was not his type, and definitely not someone whom he would want to be with in future. Hadn’t he told Nanu that his life-partner would be the most beautiful girl in this world? And Naina definitely didn’t fit the bill. She was just a plain simple girl with zero fashion sense and oily hair.

A plain simple girl with fire underneath.

Okay… That was just his illogical side talking. There was no reason he would have something more than friendship with her… But then again… there was once a time when he hadn’t even considered friendship with her. Then what was that thing that seemed to keep pulling him to her? And why did he keep waiting for her pranks? Why arguing with her seemed to give him energy? Why knowing that he might encounter her on the road to school gave him something to look forward to the day? Why had been he so happy when he found that she was part of the fest committee? He had so many questions in his mind… and answers to none of them.

“Uncle”, a perky voice broke in his thoughts.

He sighed, “Netra… How many times do I have to tell you that I am not uncle?”

The little girl didn’t understand anything of what he said, but just kept bouncing in her balcony trying to jump enough to be able to see through the grills. Leaving her to bounce until her mother found out, he walked back inside his home, and started to get ready for college. As he showered and dressed, he kept thinking about the several questions and confusion in his mind. But by the time, he sat to self-prepared breakfast of tea and bread-toast he knew that the first thing he needed to concentrate on was talking to Naina. Maybe once he did that, things would clear up.

On the other hand Naina also woke up slightly shaken by the realization of how much she missed Sameer. How had this happened? Why was it happening? Now… when she was so far away from him… when she didn’t even know where he was… why was she missing him? And what should she do now? All throughout the morning she was so lost that she ate the puris for breakfast without the alu-bhaji, and added more than required sugar in her tea. PB naturally noticed this, and enquired, “what is it Naina?”

She jerked, coming out of her thoughts, “nothing… I just… I am thinking about a surprise test that’s going to happen today.”

“Hmmm… so you know about the surprise before it happened…”, PB observed as she sipped her sugar-free tea. Naina’s face flushed knowing she had been caught. PB however didn’t drill her further, but simply said, “you know… I find that we spend too much time thinking about what happened, what is happening, and what is going to happen. To tell you the truth, I have learned it’s all useless to think of. We can think all we want to, but still life happens in its own way, and past has the habit of withering away or catching up to us as the need be. The only thing that we need to be in is the present.”

Naina smiled, wondering how PB guessed she had been thinking about past and future. But there was a lot of truth in what PB said, she had indeed spent the whole morning in thinking about her past, and also waiting for something that might never happen. It didn’t matter that she missed him… There was no way of anything happening between them, and also no way of her knowing where he was. So… the best thing she could do right now was to live in present and let life happen.

That day Sameer and Naina again took the same local train, different compartments, same journey, and they were not far from each other thoughts. Naina fumbled her way out of the crowd at Churchgate, and sighed, thinking that even if any person she knew was traveling on this same train she would probably never know given the sheer amount of people. What she didn’t know was that there was indeed someone familiar who traveled with her every day. Later after college, Sameer went to his work and during his break time he walked to a PCO booth outside. His heart thumped and fingers trembled as he tried to dial her number, and for the first three times he simply didn’t have the courage to let it ring. He closed his eyes, thinking that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. But as soon as he closed his eyes he saw her sitting with her cheek on her palm, staring at him with a smile as he played guitar for her near the pond.

Dammit Naina… What have you done to me?

He took a deep breath and dialed once more, this time letting it ring, and a girl picked up… He was about to greet when he realized that it wasn’t Naina… Maybe Preeti… Should he ask? Before he could decide what to say the phone was disconnected. He tried again, but this time some man picked up, and again he didn’t say anything. Well twice was a fair attempt. Maybe she wasn’t home from college yet. She did have a bad habit to stay in the library after classes in school, maybe she did the same in college.

However one week later when he still couldn’t contact her something started to see off. He didn’t know how it was possible that she never picked up. He had tried calling at her home at all different time without any success. Where was she? She had mentioned something about leaving the city, had she really left? And if yes, then where was she, and how would he find her? There was only one way to find out… The next number he dialed was Pandit, and greeted as soon as he heard him, “hi buddy…”

“Sameer”, Pandit exclaimed, “well… that’s a surprise. Why did you call mid-week?”

He hesitated a bit before saying, “uhh… well… I was hoping you would help me find out about someone.”

Pandit was instantly alert, “uhuh… and who might that be?”

“You already know”, Sameer replied.

“I do”, Pandit accepted, “but still… I want to hear. Speak up…”

Sameer took a deep breath, “I have been trying to call her since a week, but everyone apart from her picks up the phone. I need to know where she is… I need to talk to her… Please find her… Find…Naina.”

Pandit grinned, “I knew it! We knew it! We were right… you love her.”

“No”, Sameer immediately denied, “It’s not that… not… love… I… I just miss her and want to apologize for my behavior.”

Pandit rolled his eyes, “sure… whatever excuse you need to give yourself. The truth is… she never leaves your thoughts. You went away from here, but unfortunately out of sight wasn’t out of mind. And now just like you had an excuse of pranks before, you have the new excuse of apologizing.”

Sameer shook his head in denial, “you don’t understand…”

Pandit interrupted, “no… it’s you who doesn’t understand. Munna and I have spent a lot of time observing you two… and we are sure you both love each other. Even Preeti and Swati used to think so.”

Sameer sighed, “can you just… find out where she is?”

“Of course I can”, Pandit supplied, “give me couple of days.”

That evening Sameer felt a little bit of relief, and decided to treat himself to a good full-course meal from a restaurant. He had full faith on Pandit’s skills… For sure he would be able to talk to Naina soon. What would he say to her? Apologize that’s for sure… But what next? Maybe he could convince her to meet him… He was sure she would forgive him. That’s how Naina was… Kind-hearted, compassionate, courageous, and for sure the one person after Nanu who understood him the most. Yes, she would forgive him and agree to meet… When he slept that night his dreams were full of hope.

On the other hand, Naina had pulled through the week by trying to mingle more with her friends in college, and she also watched her first movie in Mumbai. When even all these didn’t help her find solace she started to write up bits about every place she visited in Mumbai, she figured there must be many people who would write about the facts of places, and hence she focused on her own impression about it. Her favorite place to sit and write all this was either the balcony of her room, or Marine Drive. That helped her… and it also needed effort. She found out that translating her multitude of imaginations into actual words took a lot of time and dedication, but when she would be done she felt a contentment and sense of achievement that she had never found before. Maybe… finally she had found her calling, something she would love to do in future. And amidst these moments if she started to think of Sameer, she immediately blocked that path knowing it wouldn’t take her anywhere.

Meanwhile in Ahmedabad, things were shaping up a bit differently than expected. Pandit had tried to locate Naina and got to know that she wasn’t in the city anymore, which was kind of unexpected to them. Along with Munna he tried to reach out to Preeti and Swati in their college, but all they would tell them was that Naina was indeed no longer in Ahmedabad, but they wouldn’t tell where she was. Desperate for information Pandit informed, “Sameer is looking for her. He wants to talk… he tried calling her so many times but she never picked up.”

However, this had a bit of unanticipated effect on the girls. Swati glared at them, and Preeti flared up, “oh is that her fault now? She gave her number to Sameer… but he didn’t have the courtesy to even call her… and then… my sister had to leave. She wouldn’t even tell me what had happened to her.”

Munna tried to calm them down, “listen… We just want to help. You both have also seen how they were with each other. This is our chance to let them meet again and figure out what they want.”

Swati intervened, “Naina has always shared everything with us since we were kids. But since that one day, it seems as if someone has replaced the girl we knew… She won’t tell us what she feels, she won’t share what had happened to her, she won’t even open up about how she is now. All we get is to talk to her once in a week. I don’t know what your friend feels for her, or why he suddenly wants to meet her again, but… maybe it would have been better for all of us if they hadn’t ever met. At least then we would have Naina here with us and we would stop feeling so incomplete.”

The boys stood rooted to the place in shock, failing to understand what could have caused Naina to leave, and why she won’t talk to Preeti and Swati when they were almost like twin sisters to her. They also didn’t understand why the girls were so mad on Sameer, after all Naina had disconnected the call even after listening to Sameer’s voice, so it was her fault. If she had talked that day then maybe Sameer wouldn’t have left Ahmedabad. As they trudged home, they wondered what to tell Sameer… They had failed… for the first time.

The next day they decided to tell Sameer about the failure to find Naina, but when they were on their way to a PCO booth a car stopped near them, and the window slid down to reveal Nanu. He smiled at them, “hello boys… where are you going?”

Pandit stammered, “uh… we… we were j…just going to eat something.”

“Well then”, Nanu opened the car door for them, “c’mon in. I have asked Ramdhari to prepare paneer pakodas. Good food for rainy weather… Also, I need to talk to both of you.”

Feeling extremely perplexed they sat in the car wondering what was it that Nanu wanted to talk to them about. Ramdhari indeed had the pakoras ready, and so after a scrumptious snack Munna finally asked, “Nanaji what do you wanted to talk about?”

“Well, Sameer of course”, said Nanu, surprising them both.

Pandit enquired, “Sameer? What about him? Did he call you?”

Nanu smiled, “no he didn’t… but I have been thinking about his wedding since some time.”

That was a shocking revelation to both the boys, and they didn’t know how to react. Finally after five minutes, Pandit again dared to ask, “wedding? But we just started college. It is first year.”

Nanu sipped on his tea, as he said, “I know… And I did not mean wedding at this moment, or even this year. I meant to get him married when he turns 21 or maybe even after his graduation. Actually… Sameer and I have a deal.” He explained about his conversation with Sameer to them, and added, “so you see… I have shortlisted a girl for him…”

Munna was puzzled, “but… the deal says he still has time, and he can find someone in Mumbai… He might fall in love.”

“That is true”, Nanu agreed, “but… I have a hunch that he is not going to fall in love because… I guess he is already in love.”

The boys stared at each other, trying to keep up with Nanu’s thoughts but failing to do so. Pandit gently queried, “Sameer is already in love?”

Nanu nodded, “I think so… and that is why I have selected the same girl for Sameer.” He took out an envelope from his pocket and placed it on the table, urging them to pick it up and have a look. Munna picked it up, and glanced once at Pandit before opening the flap and pulling out the photograph.

“Naina!!” Both the boys exclaimed in surprise.

Nanu just grinned and sat back, “what do you think? She is nice… isn’t she?”

Munna gulped, “Sameer loves her?”

“I do think so”, Nanu supplied, “what do you think?”

After a lot of hesitation Pandit croaked, “he… he asked me to find her…”

Nanu’s eyebrow quirked with amusement, “did he now? And have you been able to find her?” The boys shook their head, and out came tumbling the tale of how Sameer had tried to call her after the fair, then now in the last one week, also how he had failed, and how they had failed to extract information. Nanu listened to everything in silence, and then sighed, “these matters require a little subtlety… You can’t just waltz up to someone and ask.”

Munna eagerly asked, “then what should we do? How should we find her?”

“You don’t need to”, Nanu said with a smile, “she is already where she should be… in Mumbai.”

“What!!”, Pandit exclaimed, “Mumbai… how…? When? And how did you find out?”

Nanu’s eyes twinkled, “well… I have my own sources just like you.”

Munna slowly asked, “did you send her there?”

Nanu sighed, “no… I tried to intervene with fate once by bringing both of the schools together for the fair. I hoped if they spent more time with each other then they might realize the love that I could see was blossoming between them. But I had forgotten that in life everything has its own time… I suppose Sameer and Naina were too young, each with their own force of personality, and too different to understand what was going on inside them. I wouldn’t repeat that mistake again… But I do believe that they are meant to be.”

Pandit was puzzled, “but how would they come together if we don’t make them?”

Nanu smiled, “oh I am sure they will… destiny has already made them move to the same city. Sameer will gain a broader perspective of life and Naina is away from the chains that tied her down. I might give my grandson a little push now and then, but something tells me that they would meet as soon as the time is right…”

Munna asked, “and what do we do till then?”

“We wait”, Nanu replied, “and for now… tell Sameer that Naina’s family members haven’t told anyone where she is, but you will keep looking for clues.”

Sameer was disheartened by his friends’ inability to find Naina, but at the same time was extremely worried too. Where could she have gone? And why would her family members feel the need to hide this information from others? Was there some key part that he was missing? After another week’s deliberation he tried to talk to Preeti, but she disconnected on hearing his identity, making it crystal clear that there was nothing he would get from her. He just hoped Naina was okay… wherever she was. That evening he went to Marine Drive, hoping for some solace, and when a kid came over to sell roses he bought one just to help the kid with some money. He sat there holding the rose in one hand, and the golden bracelet in another hand, thinking about Naina while watching the waves. He didn’t know how long he sat there, but jerked when someone placed a heavy hand on his shoulder…

A man in mid-40s smiled benignly at him, “what happened? Girlfriend dumped you?”

Sameer frowned, “girlfriend?”

“Yes”, the man gestured towards the objects in Sameer’s hand, “flower and bracelet… seems like you were waiting for her, and she didn’t come.”

Sameer chuckled glancing at the flower, “yeah… she hasn’t been there since some time.”

The man patted his back sympathetically, “why don’t you leave the rose here? I have heard that if you want your flower to reach the right person then you can leave it here on this parapet.”

This time Sameer laughed out, “that’s silly… look at all these people here, anyone can pick it up. Or even the kid who was selling this can take it to sell again. Or it might just blow off into the sea.”

“It might”, the man smiled, “or it might also reach whom you want it to. No harm in trying…”

Sameer shrugged, “sure… anyways I don’t want the rose.” Keeping the rose nearby where he was sitting, he slid off the parapet, nodded a goodbye to the unknown man and went to a coffee shop on the opposite road, hoping they had some sandwich which could be his dinner.

At the precise moment he entered inside the café, two girls walked up the pathway of Marine Drive, looking for a proper place to sit. One of them saw the rose, and picked it up, wondering why the sole rose was lying forgotten here.

“Oh you found a rose”, Chaaya exclaimed.

Naina stroked the soft petals of the blush pink rose, “it was just kept here… maybe someone forgot.”

Chaaya excitedly observed, “or maybe someone kept it here hoping it would reach the right girl for him.”

Naina frowned, “what are you even talking about?”

“You don’t know?” Chaaya gasped, “there is a popular belief here that if you want to let your flower reach the right person you should just keep it here and leave.”

Naina rolled her eyes, “right… another belief… what would happen if it just fell off the parapet, or a man picked up a rose left by another man… there could be hundred different probabilities to what happened to a discarded lonely flower. And all you can think of is romance.”

“Mumbai is a city of romance”, Chaaya giggled, “you will learn soon… but look at how you found this pretty rose… who knows maybe this could be your inspiration.”

Naina smiled, lifting the flower to breathe in the fragrance. It was such a pretty flower. Did someone really leave it here in hope it would reach the right person? What must he have been thinking? Did he wish for love, or friendship, or just simple companionship? Whoever left it here must have had a lot of trust in fate, because he would never know who took the flower, but still he would have the hope that maybe it had indeed been picked up by the right person. Her smile widened, and she turned to her friend, “you know what… I don’t know about romance, but you are right… this rose is for me… I know exactly what to write about Marine Drive.”

After another hour, Sameer sauntered back to the pavement of Marine Drive, his stomach full of paneer sandwich and coffee. He glanced at the sky, it seemed like it would rain tonight too. As he reached the spot he was sitting at before, his brows furrowed and he moved his fingers over the empty parapet. The pink rose was gone. Did it fall off in the sea? Did the kid who was selling flowers took it? It could be anyone… anyone of those several people who must have walked past here in the last one hour. He chuckled… Right person indeed… Well, he hoped whoever had picked it up would at least appreciate the beauty of that flower.

Weeks went by with no news about Naina and it wasn’t really sitting well with Sameer. He had asked his friends many times but they had got no clue. He just hoped there was some way to apologize, then maybe the weird feeling in his heart would go away. But as weeks turned into months he lost all hope of ever meeting her. God knows where she was… But with time he understood the kind of things Naina might have been living with in Ahmedabad. The society he lived in was not posh or high-class, most of the people living there were working class, and they didn’t know anything about lavish life-style. They didn’t have maids coming in everyday to cook and clean. He saw kids going to school had to tie up their hair, and some of them even had oiled it up. The people living there liked to help each other but also were just as inquisitive about each other, though he guessed that maybe living in Mumbai made them do it less than any small town.

He also went on another date or rather he would call it a dinner with a girl called Nidhi, who was a tad bit more interesting than Sanjana, but was not all as easily avoided. Just after one dinner he found her hovering near him all the time proclaiming to the college that he was her boyfriend. He asked her to stop, and she did, but then she asked him for movies and he was in foul mood that day because he had again been thinking of Naina and so he had accepted the movie invite which was a total disaster. To his extreme surprise and annoyance, Nidhi tried to kiss him during the movie. For a second he was taken in by the lure of her hands framing his face, but then his eyes widened and he totally repulsed from the idea. What was she doing? He told her that he didn’t want it to happen… For God’s sake they weren’t even holding hands properly, and she was trying to kiss him. The kiss didn’t happen that evening, but Nidhi’s attempts didn’t stop. Once when they were sitting together with their friends, she kept cozying up to him, and he didn’t like it, but when he turned to tell her to move, somehow she also moved, accidentally or on purpose, he didn’t know, but when she moved his lips brushed against her cheek. She squealed in delight, blushingly reprimanding him to not do it in-front of everyone, and his friends hooted while he sat shocked at being played like this. Later when he confronted her, she told him he wasn’t a making a move so she had to. That was the day Sameer told her that they were done, which of course she didn’t listen to, and so he asked a girl called Priya out for coffee. That ended Nidhi’s chapter in his life, but opened Priya’s chapter, which he didn’t know yet but was supposed to act like a curveball in his life.

His exams went by and to his surprise he did score well despite all the work he had been doing at the publishing office. He continued talking to his Nanu and friends every week, and was surprised by how much interest Nanu took in who he met and what he did apart from studies. Sometimes he had also mentioned about H.R. College, and asked him to visit to check out the campus, Sameer never understood why and neither did he go there. And then as the first year ended, came his first trip to Ahmedabad, all on his own expense, and he proudly bought presents for Nanu, Munna, Pandit and even Ramdhari. He also bought a painting of Marine Drive in rainy weather and got it gift wrapped but didn’t take it with him to Ahmedabad, rather this found its place in his cupboard along with the toy rabbit.

Naina had an equally fascinating year and it wouldn’t be wrong to say that she understood Sameer’s perspectives and his way of life much better that she ever had before. Being with PB – who she found out was a respectable figure in several clubs and associations given her work and generous donations – gave her a visibility that she had never thought she would have. She was given special treatments at parlors, she was always welcome at certain clubs, and somewhere somehow she would meet people who would know her as PB’s relative even though she wouldn’t know who those people were. She also found out she had an innate talent at networking, she remembered names and faces; and when her friends needed some help for something, or maybe her college required something she had a way of finding out the right person to do the job. She enjoyed it, but she now also understood the pressure Sameer was under all that time in Ahmedabad. Being even a little bit well-known meant she had to be presentable most of the times, be on her best behavior, and also pay much more attention to her own looks. Knowing all that she knew now, she understood completely why Sameer felt the need to prove himself, and make a name of his own away from his grandfather’s shadow. Definitely she wouldn’t like it either if suddenly her college started giving grace marks just because she was related to someone well-known.

A couple of more boys asked her out, but even though she would go alone with the boys she considered as friends, she never accepted a formal invitation of a date. She went for a movie with Bikram, on a round of Mumbai street food with Gurdeep, she even had tea with Ayush when he asked her just as a friend. But whenever someone would come and ask her out for a date she always had an excuse ready. It irked her sometimes that she couldn’t get the nerve to go for a date because one boy called Dev who had asked her out was actually very popular and handsome, but then again she had had her share of popular and handsome boy in Ahmedabad… maybe not as a date or even as a friend but maybe something she wouldn’t ever understand. It was surprising to her how she had never felt awkward with all those handholds, him holding her, him teasing her about being in his arms, those moments in the rain and then again near the pond, them sharing food – nothing had felt offensive, undoable, or unnatural. What was it that she felt so weird now whenever the prospect arose of doing all the same things with some other boy? Sameer had once gripped her and claimed that he was different. She had said yes, agreed to him, but at that time even she hadn’t know how uniquely different he was in her life… And now that she knew, she didn’t know what to do about it.

As the first year ended, she had a choice to stay back in Mumbai or go home, however she didn’t think she could stay secluded inside her room like she had for the week before she left for Mumbai. And so she made the decision to visit Ahmedabad only for a week, and then she would be back in Mumbai, and PB happily agreed to her decision saying they could go visit neighboring hill stations when she was back.