Love Me Tonight
Chapter 3: Decisions and Repercussions

October 17, 1998 | 11am IST

This was the date and time Sameer would never forget because this was when he had taken the overwhelming decision of finding Naina. The recollections of one night were his solace and motivation both, and it truly was enough because never had he created so many memories in just one night. He sat on the chair, wondering what his next step should be. However, before he could think much, his servant unlocked the front door and stepped inside.

Sameer looked up and wished, “good morning Bhavna Tai.”

The older lady clucked her tongue, covering the side of her face with her hand, “sahib… kapde toh pehen lo…”

That was when Sameer realized that he was still wearing just the towel. His face flushed as he stood up, clutching the knot, “uh… sorry… main abhi aaya.”

He went back inside the room and changed into a fresh pair of jeans and t-shirt. Thinking of Bhavna Tai’s reaction he also straightened the bed a bit, and frowned on spotting a blot on the cream bedsheet. What was it? It looked as if someone had spilled water… He tentatively touched a finger to the spot, but it was dry, the stain had no color, and it was an uneven roundish shape… What could it be? He hadn’t eaten anything here… In fact he remembered Bhavna Tai changing the old blue sheet with this one just a couple of days ago… And he was sure that this spot wasn’t there yesterday morning, otherwise Tai would have kept it aside for washing… So then… this had happened last night…? Was this…?

His legs trembled suddenly and he had to sit, his breathing once more heavy… God… This was a wet spot… The reminder that he hadn’t used condom… A proof of what had happened here… A remnant of their pleasure…

Naina…

The name escaped his lips in a sighing breath, fresh tears pooling in his eyes as his fingers touched the spot… He wished she was here now… What would she have done? Blushed on seeing this? Asked him what it was? Or pushed him away and pulled off the sheet from the bed, instructing him to spread a new one? He didn’t know because he had never been with her before… He couldn’t know because she was not here with him now… All he could do was think… Think of her and feel the anguish of loneliness…

Why did you leave? Come back please…

The depth of his own yearning for her surprised him… His arms, his room, his home, his life, everything felt empty without her. How had she become so important in just one night? He really had no answer for that now… He just knew that her each touch, each sigh, each moan was imprinted in his mind, body and soul… In just one night she had made an impact which Sakshi hadn’t been able to make in one year… Such was the longing he felt that he knew that he didn’t have an option but to find her… Find her and tell her that the night was more, so much more than the drunken rubbish he had spouted…

But how to find her… He only knew her name… And well… He knew her eyes were the most beautiful ones he had ever seen… He knew her smile was angelic… He knew her hair was luxurious black and silky soft… He knew that she had a light mole near her left ear and another one on her leg, just on the inside of her right thigh… He knew that she had been a virgin until a couple of hours after she had met him… He knew that his name sounded the best ever from her lips, especially when she uttered it like a throaty moan… He knew a lot of things like her taste, her shape, her feel, but none of them could help him find her…

He sighed, tugging off the bedsheet, rolled it up in a ball, and dumped it inside the machine in the bathroom. Checking the room once more for hints of last night, he stepped out to the delicious smell of breakfast. Had Naina eaten? The question formed in his mind and he couldn’t help but wish he had taken it slower last night… Sat with her… Talked to her… Offered something to drink and eat… But no… All he had done was kiss her as if he was starving and then taken her to the bedroom… If he had given her some time and some tenderness then she wouldn’t have left like this in morning… If he had offered some care and attention then she wouldn’t have felt like a replacement of any random woman…

Bhavna Tai placed a dish of poha and tea in-front of him, “kya soch rahe hai sahib? Sab theek toh hai na?”

Sameer shook his head, “bas kuch soch raha tha…” Then he asked, “aap aaj itni der se kyun aaye?”

When had Naina left? If Bhavna Tai had arrived earlier then she could have stopped her maybe… Bhavna Tai replied, “maine bataya toh tha sahib… aaj shivani ko hospital le jaaneka tha na…”

“Oh haan”, he murmured, “kaisi hai ab Shivani?”

She smiled, “theek hai… bas daant aa rahe hai na toh chid-chid karti hai.”

Shivani was the cherubic 8 month old grand-daughter of Bhavna Tai… Sameer had met her once, and had thought how anyone could handle the squirming mess that babies were… But Shivani’s mother, father, and grand-parents dotted on her… And not even her constant crying frustrated them…

Bhavna Tai started cleaning around the house, and narrated tales that he tuned out, choosing to focus on Naina. But minutes later a certain story caught his attention. Tai was telling of how her daughter-in-law had met an old friend in the market, and chatted with her but forgot to ask where she stayed. He immediately asked, “toh phir…? Mili woh dost wapas?”

Tai nodded, smiling wide, “haan mil gai… Shanti ne… woh… mota wala phone book hota hai na… usme se dhund nikala…”

Directory… That’s it… He grinned, “perfect idea… thank you Tai…”

She was puzzled, “kisliye?”

“Mujhe bhi kisiko dhundna hai”, he muttered, standing up to get the fat directory from near the phone. He would surely find Naina here… He would call every damn Agarwal in Mumbai until he found her. He scanned through the pages, the list was long, but he was determined. He had just picked up the phone to dial the first number when Tai said, “aree sahib… abhi kise phone kar rahe hai? Aapko aaj office nahi jaana? Mujhe toh laga tha main aaungi tab tak aap jaa chuke honge.”

Sameer frowned, realizing that he had been so focused on Naina that he had indeed forgotten about office. It was late… But still he needed to go… Maybe he could start this search tonight… He kept the directory back, “aaj mujhe uthne me der ho gai… Abhi taiyar hoke nikalta hun… Aaj servicewala aayega… bahar jo car khadi hai woh le jayega… Aap ek baar andar dekh lena…”

Tai nodded, “ji… aur yeh kya hai? Kahan rakhu?”

It was red velvet box, the ring he had bought for Sakshi… For a moment he wanted to instruct her to throw it away… But then he paused… No, he shouldn’t… Naina had kept it here, thinking that he would try to reconcile with Sakshi… It was only fair, that he show this to Naina when he would find her and then she could do the blessed onus of throwing it… maybe in the sea or down some cliff where he wouldn’t have to see that darned thing again. He didn’t want to touch it, but still took the box, “main rakh dunga.”

Keeping the box in cupboard, he quickly changed into a formal suit, and then took out his second older car to go to office. The whole distance he kept thinking of what would he do when he found Naina, how would he explain to her… He knew it would take some time to find her, maybe few days, because the list in directory was long… But once he did find her he wouldn’t let go… He would make her understand that she was special, that what they shared was special… Surely she would understand. Naina was intelligent, and he knew she cared for him… She would listen to him, give him a chance to prove his worth, and they would be able to sort out everything. The hope that had sprung in his heart made him smile; his thoughts were centered on Naina as he stopped at the traffic signal near Jogeshwari Railway station.

If he had been slightly more aware of the surroundings, or glanced at the rearview mirror his determined search would have ended right at that moment. Just behind his car, a woman took the opportunity of the halted traffic to cross the road with a suitcase rolling behind her. As the signal blinked to green, Sameer started to move the car forward; unaware that Naina had just crossed to the other side of the road and was now turning into the lane.

Sometimes the road of life takes an unexpected turn and you have no choice but to follow it to end up in the place you are supposed to be.

Naina wiped the slight sweat off her forehead, looking around and then sighed on spotting the board for Metro Residency. She had just spent the last thirty minutes in a nearby café, looking through the phone directory for hotels in the proximate vicinity, copied down number and names while sipping coffee, and then made enquiries from a phone booth. The off-white building was fairly new, four storey high with a parking area on the side. She went inside and talked to the manager, confirming that she had called a while ago regarding the room enquiry. In the next five minutes her id card was scanned, she paid an advance amount, and was given the key to a room on the second floor. Thankfully the building had a lift, because after traveling in the busy local train and bus she wasn’t in a mood or condition to drag the suitcase up two flights of stairs. Also, she was still extremely tired from her adventure of last night, and not to mention every muscle in her body felt sore.

The room was basic, though she didn’t like the choice of yellow color on the walls. Why would someone paint a hotel room yellow? There was a queen sized bed with inviting fluffy pillows, and comfortable blanket. A table stood against the opposite wall with a lone chair, doubling up as workspace as well as dining area. The cupboard was bare, but enough for her, and thankfully two complimentary bottle of water were there on the bedside table. She quickly checked the bathroom and was relieved to see that it was clean. Given the establishment was closer to the railway station the room rate was cheaper, but she had feared that it might not be clean. Overall she was satisfied for now; this room could be her abode for a couple of days, until she found a place to live.

She had eaten a sandwich at the café, so she wasn’t hungry now, but she knew she would have to find some options to eat… something cheap… Yes, she had money, but most of it would go into paying for the hotel, and then for advance rent of any apartment she finalized. So food had to be her lowest priority for now. She knew she should start looking for apartments already, which is why she had picked up a copy of today’s newspaper, but right now she had no energy to scan through the fine print and call people. Keeping the suitcase in a corner, she ensured that the door of the room was secured, turned on the fan and then dropped on the bed.

Her treacherous heart immediately started thinking how the bed wasn’t as comfortable as sleeping in Sameer’s arms, but she resolutely stopped herself. What was the use of thinking about him? Already her body was aching and throbbing as a constant reminder of last night… she need not add her own thoughts to it. She should sleep… However, it was easier said than done. She kept tossing and turning, until she finally gave up and started thinking about last night. Not of the sex… but afterwards…

She had been stunned at the pleasure that had coursed through her body, and then overwhelmed on realizing that he was trembling in her arms which meant that he had also found his release… She had been able to satisfy him… The girl whom nobody wanted was not a failure in bed. She hadn’t known what would happen after that… But after few minutes he had pulled out of her, and gently asked if she was alright, if she liked it… She had smiled, her expressions shy, and nodded. His eyes had glittered with some emotion she hadn’t been able to comprehend, and then he had turned off the light, wrapped his arm around her, and pulled her to him… She hadn’t been expecting the tenderness, but when he had kissed her forehead, asking her to rest, tears had sprung in her eyes. She had cuddled closer, taken a deep breath, inhaling his scent and closed her eyes. After that she hadn’t known when she had fallen asleep… In fact she hadn’t known anything until he had woken her up again and said he needed her once more if she could manage… Each time, all three times he had gathered her close in his arms and they had slept like that… It was such a blissful memory that she closed her eyes now, imagining his arm sliding over her waist, his palm spanning her back, pushing her to him… She dragged in a breath, imagining she could smell the earthy cologne he used and his own unique scent… She clutched the second pillow imagining she was holding onto him… And just like last night, she dropped off to sleep with a smile on her face.

Meanwhile, several kilometers away, Phulla Bua-Dadi came out of her room when the servant called her for lunch. She was still angry on Naina… She tried to think where had she failed? How could Naina have done such a thing? If she had fallen in love with someone and then been together, she would have still tried to understand the situation… But this… She had thought such things only happened in movies, or maybe in some high-profile Bollywood families… She hadn’t been able to imagine that it could happen at her home. Last night she had been worried about Naina… so much so that she hadn’t slept a wink… And finally in morning when Shalini had mentioned that Naina had left from the club with a man she had refuted the claim immediately. The Naina she knew would never be so careless and irresponsible… Surely there was a mistake… But then Shalini had said that Naina had told her she knew the man before, and also that the man had been excessively drunk… Bua-dadi had tried to think that maybe the man was an old acquaintance or friend, and Naina had gone with him because he was drunk… But then why wouldn’t she return? If she couldn’t come back alone, all she needed to do was call here, and their driver would have gone to fetch her wherever she was… But even though she waited desperately there had been no call from Naina…

When the doorbell had rung in morning, her first reaction had been relief… But one look at Naina and she had known that everything that she didn’t want to think to be true was true… Naina had gone away with a man… Naina had spent the night with a man… Naina had lied to her… The missing jacket was incriminating enough, but the mark on her neck was glaring… And the guilt in her eyes was something she had wished she didn’t notice…

When she had brought Naina to Mumbai from Ahmedabad, the girl had been so fragile that she had done everything to protect her. She had felt proud when she had slowly transformed into a confiden woman. She had taken pride in her achievements. She had felt that she had done the right thing. But now, Naina’s actions made her wonder where she had gone wrong… Had she given too much freedom to her? Had she done the wrong thing by bringing her here? Had she not built enough trust in her? Naina was technically her grand-daughter, but she had tried to be a mother, a friend, a companion… everything that Naina had needed after the incident in Ahmedabad.

She picked up the glass to drink some water before her meal, but paused… She couldn’t do it… Yes, she thought Naina had done wrong… Yes, she was still angry… But Naina was her little girl… How could she eat without her? Maybe she shouldn’t have slapped her… Maybe she should have listened once to her… She sighed, “Pushpa… jao Naina ko bulaake laao… Kaho usko ke khane ka waqt ho gaya hai, main bula rahi hun.”

Pushpa nodded, scurrying away to obey the command. Phulla Bua waited, trying to clear her mind of the anger she felt, and think rationally. What’s done was done… Now she needed to talk to Naina… Understand why she took such a step… Think about the future… She had to know who the man was… Why did Naina go with him? How did she know him? How could she take such a big step in one night? Was there some past that she was unaware of? Five minutes later Pushpa came back, “memsahab, Naina madam toh kamre me nahi hai.”

Phulla Bua frowned, “kamre me nahi hai? Toh kahan gai?”

Had she gone to meet that same man again? Or maybe she had gone to the temple… Didn’t she always go there when she was disturbed?

Pushpa handed over an envelope to her, “ispe aapka naam likha hai… Naina madam ke kamre me tha…”

Phulla Bua accepted the envelope, and opened it to check the content after Pushpa left. It was a letter… written by Naina… the neat and clean handwriting recognizable anytime… But the words made her hand shake, and her head started to feel dizzy… She tried to grab the edge of table, afraid she would fall down, and the glass of water toppled over, rolling to the floor and breaking with a crash… The sound quite similar to the effect Naina’s words were having inside her… Pushpa came rushing back, supporting her, “memsahab… kya hua? Hey bhagwaan… Main doctor ko bulaati hun…”

“Nahi…”, Phulla Bua croaked, “nahi… mujhe sofa tak le chalo…”

Pushpa held her arms, guiding her to the sofa where she sank down and lifted the note to read again… She must be mistaken… Naina couldn’t leave… It just couldn’t happen… There had to be something in here… She adjusted her glasses, blinked, and tried to read again…

Bua-Dadi… I am sorry ke maine aapko dukh pahochaya… Aapse jhooth bola… Maine jo kiya uski koi sifaarish toh nahi dungi, bas itna kahungi ke aapne jis raat ko paap ka naam diya mere liye woh meri zindagi ki sabse khoobsurat raat thi. Jaanti hun, yeh padhke aapko achcha nahi lag raha hoga, isi wajah se aapke saamne yeh baat bolneki himmat nahi kar paai. Shayad aapka faisla sahi hai… Zaahir hai ke maine aapka bharosa toda toh aap mujhe yahan nahi rehne dena chahti… Lekin main uss ghar me wapas nahi jaa sakti… Wahan se toh mujhe pehle hi nikaal diya tha, toh main wahan wapas kaise jau? Aur agar gai toh meri shaadi zabardasti kisise kar di jayegi… Mujhe yeh manzoor nahi. Lekin main aapka nazariya bhi samajhthi hun… Isiliye main yahan se jaa rahi hun.

Jaanti hun sirf ek raat apni khud ki khushi dhundne ki keemat bahot badi hai… Ahmedabad wala ghar toh pehle hi peeche chut gaya tha… Aaj yeh ghar bhi mera nahi raha… Saath hi maine saare rishte bhi kho diye… Aur woh ladka… Woh toh kabhi mera tha hi nahi… Lekin phir bhi mujhe koi afsos nahi hai… Waqt palatke wapas jaana pade agar toh bhi main wahi faisla karungi jo kal kiya tha…

Kaash main dil-kholke aapko sab bata paati… Par nahi ho payega… Ho sake toh mujhe maaf kar dena bua-dadi… Aapki choti si Naina itni badi nahi hui ke aap ke saamne awaaz utha sake… Aap agar faisla lenge toh mujhe woh maan na padega, isiliye mera chale jaana hi sahi hai. Lekin aap fikar mat karna… Ahmedabad se mujhe yahan laake apne dum pe jeena aap hi ne sikhaya hai… Main apna khayal rakhungi, aur aap bhi apna dhyan rakhna… Davaiya waqt pe lena aur ho sake toh kabhi kisi din mujhe kahin bheed me hi dikh jaana… Main utne me hi khush ho lungi.

Chalti hun ab… Aur likha nahi jaa raha… Aapki, Naina.

Phulla-Bua clutched her head… Oh God… Naina… What had she done? The girl had been in so much pain and fear even after all this time… Just the mention of her family had made her take such an extreme step… Dear God… She wished Naina understood that she had just spoken that in anger… She would never have told those people about Naina… Where was she? When did she leave? How could she find her?

“Pushpa”, Buad-dadi hollered, “tumne Naina ko aakhri baar kab dekha?”

The woman replied, “jab aapne unhe kamre me jaaneko bola tabhi… Uske baad toh neeche bhi nahi aai.”

Bua-dadi was frantic, “neeche nahi aai toh kya khidki me se udke chali gai…?”

“Chali gai?” Pushpa delicately queried, “Naina madam kahan gai? Kya matlab aapka?”

Phulla Bua’s lips wobbled, “Naina ghar chodke chali gai… Sab meri galti hai… Usko itna daanta maine… Aisa kaha ke Ahmedabad bhej dungi wapas… Aur woh… Chali gai…”

As Bua-Dadi started to sob in earnest, Pushpa rushed by her side… Even she couldn’t believe that Naina madam would leave… How could she? Naina madam loved memsahab so much… She had been here, working in this very house, when memsahab had brought a simple looking girl few years ago… The girl was weak, scared and had bruises on her cheeks and hands… She looked so fragile that it seemed even a strong gust of air from the window would break her in half. But oh how she had been wrong… Naina madam was one of the strongest women she had met… She didn’t know everything of what had happened, but she knew that her family had thrown her out of the house… And Naina madam had survived through that pain and trauma, and slowly but surely built a new life for herself here… When Naina madam had smiled first time after a week of coming here, both she and memsahab had felt as if it was a celebration. She had made kheer especially for Naina madam that day.

If Naina madam was really gone it would break her memsahab… Why did she go? What had happened? She had heard part of the scolding, and understood the matter… But how could anyone take such a big step without thinking of consequences? How could Naina madam leave this home and family? How would they find her?

Tentatively she suggested, “memsahab… Naina madam ke gharwalo ko batana padega na? Warna kaise dhundenge?”

Phulla-Bua straightened, “haan… tum ek kaam karo… Phone wali diary nikaal do… Naina ke saare dosto ko phone karte hai.”

Naina woke up from her sleep at around 1pm, and rubbed her eyes, thinking where she was, and why did her bed feel so hard. It was just a minute before she remembered everything that had happened, and tears started to pool in her eyes. But she quickly steadied herself, there was no time for all this… If she wanted to really stay away then she had to take certain steps. The first of it was removing all links through which she could be found… It was a Saturday, so banks would be closing in 30 minutes, so that was the first thing she should be doing. Thankfully, there was a branch nearby. Freshening up a little bit, she grabbed her purse, and strode out, walking the short distance to the bank. It was almost closing time already, but after citing an emergency, the manager allowed her time to discuss the matter. Naina didn’t like to lie, but the circumstances were such that she did… It took her fifteen minutes to narrate a tale of family emergency and how she needed to withdraw all money from her account and close it because they were leaving the city. The manager checked the account, the amount wasn’t large so loosing that account or issuing a withdrawal wasn’t a problem… But still… Cash would be too much and too visible… He proposed if the bank can issue demand draft.

Naina was puzzled, “lekin woh main istemaal kaise karungi?”

“Thoda cash le lijiye kharche ke liye”, the manager assured, “aur chote denominations me demand draft bana deta hun, toh aap jab dusre sheher me account kholengi toh yeh draft hi jama karna padega aapko… Cash leke safar karna safe nahi hai.”

Naina thought about the matter and then nodded, “theek hai… Aap mujhe 5,000 cash de dijiye, baaki ka demand draft chalega.” The manager nodded and proceeded to instruct his staff. Naina sat back relieved… 5,000 would be enough for several days, and then once her next account was opened she could pay for the hotel and rent both. The only thing that she needed to take care of was that all these demand drafts should be hidden safely.

Another thirty minutes later, she was on her way to the hotel, the demand drafts in her purse, and she had also bought some food for herself. After a hasty lunch, and hiding the demand drafts under the felt lining of her make-up box, she went first to the library to confirm her acceptance of the job offer. The lady was delighted at the chance of having a fresh young face as one of the staff, and gave Naina a quick tour of the enormous library along with an explanation of her role. Later on Naina went to her current, or rather now old office, and submitted the resignation letter citing that she was leaving the city and hence couldn’t serve her notice period as well. Her manager wasn’t happy with the sudden notice, and said she wouldn’t be given anything from this month’s, as it was compensation in lieu of the two-week notice period. Naina didn’t argue, even though she would have like not to lose any money, having the salary payment pending would have meant that she would have to come back to pick up the cheque or give them her account information, both of the scenarios were unacceptable for her. Hence she graciously agreed. Collecting the meagre stuff from her desk, she looked around one time at the office she had worked in ever since graduation, and then walked out of the gates… It did seem like she was turning into the pro in the art of walking out… First from Ahmedabad, then from Sameer’s home, then from Bua-dadi’s home, and now from her job… Well… Hopefully all this letting go would also mean beginning of something more meaningful…

As she walked back to her hotel from Jogeshwari railway station, after a ride in the crowded local, she spotted a roadside tea vendor… She had never had tea from such stalls before… In Ahmedabad they had been few outings to eat pani-puri or maybe with her family to law garden, and in Mumbai Bua-dadi would always take her to high-end classy restaurants or clubs. Even her friend circle in college was limited and she didn’t explore much in terms of local Mumbai food joints… But now she could… She was answerable to no one, nor did she have to maintain any family or societal standards… Smiling at the thought, she took the first step towards freedom, towards the tea stall, and ordered a tea for herself.

The vendor queried, “cutting ya full…?”

Her brows furrowed, “farq kya hai? Cutting me dudh kam daaloge kya?”

The vendor looked at her in surprise, “Mumbai’it naveen aahes ka?”

She blinked, trying to recollect her minimum knowledge of Marathi language and quickly translated the sentence in her mind. “Haan”, she replied.

The tea vendor suddenly smiled benignly, “Mumbai me toh roz naye log aate hai… cutting matlab glass me thodi kam chai bharte hai… full yaani poora bharke denge… cutting 3 rupaye, full 5 rupaye…”

She absorbed this new information, and smiled back, “cutting dena bhaiya.”

The man handed over a glass and also slid a dish with two biscuits towards her. When Naina said that she hadn’t ordered biscuits, the man grinned, “free hai… Mumbai madhye aaple swagat aahe.”

Naina was touched by this warm gesture. Were people in Mumbai really this open and welcoming all the time? How had she not taken the time to notice this? The people… The city… She breathed in the evening air, mixed with the traffic fumes, sipped her tea and glanced at the golden shades of the sky that hinted about sunset. As she paid the vendor for the tea, she also asked, “yahan aas paas koi khane ki jagah hai kya? Thoda sasta wala…”

The man was happy to help, “yahij road ke end tak jaaneka… phir left turn leke thoda chalne ka… ek dukaan hai, Shalimaar restaurant… Ekdum tasty khana milega… Aur baaju me Vinayak mishthaan, mast mithai milti hai…”

“Shukriya bhaiya”, she wished, and then walked back to her hotel.

At the other end Phulla Bua-dadi had tried calling all of Naina’s friends without any success… She wasn’t with them and none of them knew where she could have gone. She also called at her office, given it was Saturday, and maybe she had gone there fed up with the argument at home. But to her extreme shock, the receptionist informed that Naina had indeed come over a few hours ago, and had resigned from her job saying she was leaving the city forever. Phulla Bua had no idea what to do… How could Naina leave Mumbai? No… No… It wasn’t possible… She was surely somewhere here. But then why would she leave her job? The explanation was easy to catch on… Naina would have that her family could reach her at her workplace… And she was scared of them, so she had resigned. Foolish girl… What would she do without a job and money? The bank… Of course, Naina had savings. It was possible she would try to withdraw money for expenses. Checking the time once, Phulla Bua knew that the bank would have closed, which meant Naina also couldn’t do anything now… So that meant… Monday morning would when she would try and get money… That was when she could find her… But until then, should she inform the family in Ahmedabad? After thinking for a minute, she decided not to… Anyways she would find Naina on Monday, so informing those people wouldn’t do any good… It would only make Naina feel that she had acted on her threat of sending her away. So it was better if she kept this information to herself… Meanwhile she just wished that Naina was staying at some good hotel… Maybe she could try calling up the mid-range ones and check…

As the city lit up with the bright lights, traffic on the road increased and the business for the road side vendors boomed. Sameer was driving back to his home from office, he had spent some time in afternoon to call through the first ten Agarwals in the phone directory, and none of them knew of any Naina… A couple of them even cursed him for disturbing without reason, and a suspicious lady enquired if he was stalking some girl. But he was dissuaded, after all there were many more Agarwals in the list; he was surely going to find Naina soon.

He had a quick dinner upon reaching home, and started his search again, determinedly calling number after number until it was too late to call and disturb someone. With a full stomach and empty heart, he went up to the terrace, and sat down with a beer in hand, staring up at the moon. His mind took him to flashback of his first day in the Hindi medium school in Ahmedabad…

The richest boy in town, courtesy his Nanu, had arrived in a shining blue Maruti 800. He shook his head at his own act… How he had thought that it would create a style statement, show his swag, his status… How he had felt the need to imprint those things on his fellow school mates, because to his teenage mind and based on his experience that was how people earned friends. He enjoyed the feeling of superiority, that amazing sense of being perfect when girls fawned over him, that power boys were jealous of him… But deep down he wished someone would see the loneliness inside him. And then he had found Munna and Pandit… The two most clownish students in the entire school, who treated him as a hero, but had also never pulled back from showing him the mirror. For the first time in his life he had found his own ideals about friendship reflected in someone else, and he knew he had found friends for life.

And then there had been that extremely weird girl who had almost collided with him on his very first day and had stared at him as if he was a treasure she had found. In his life from school to uptil now, he had been used to several degrees of dreamy and admiring gazes, and then to gazes that basically meant he could walk over and propose a night of fun. But no one had ever looked at him like Naina did. Her gaze on that first day had been like she was seeing some person who was extremely special for her, and since then whenever he had spotted her looking at him there had been a certain amount of tenderness and affection.

Of course he had never paid much attention to her… She wasn’t what a teenager would term as girlfriend material. And plus all the students in school teased her with several names… He had also used the same names to talk about her… The few occasions when he had talked to her, he hadn’t used any name… But still she had always understood that it was her he was talking to… And she never refused to help him or anyone despite all the teasing she faced.

He still remembered that one incident when he had been called to Principal’s office along with Munna and Pandit because the three of them were suspected of breaking the librarian’s scooter’s headlight. Interestingly the librarian also happened to be Naina’s father. Naturally they were punished, and as a result they missed some classes, which honestly none of them minded. However, the next day they had been shocked to know that there would be a test conducted in two days’ time for the very classes they had missed. There was no time for preparation, and they didn’t even have notes yet… It would take them time to copy, then understand, and then prepare… In short they were set to fail. They had gone to the library, hoping they would find some book that could help them, but the wicked librarian had shooed them away. When it had seemed all hope had gone, suddenly Naina had approached him, her voice trembling a bit, “Sam… Sameer…”

He had turned to find the oily haired girl looking down shyly, her cheeks tinged with color. Finding the sight to be amusing he had responded, “kya?”

She had extended a set of pages, “yeh… uhh… yeh notes… tumne class miss kar di thi na kal.”

He had taken the pages, but said, “ab koi fayda nahi hai… copy karne me time lagega aur test ek din baad hi hai… itni der me kuch samajh bhi nahi aayega. I am definitely going to fail.”

She had glanced up briefly before lowering her eyes once more, “nahi… copy karne ki zaroorat nahi hai… yeh tumhare hi hai… aur maine thode extra points aur udharan bhi daale hai toh tumhe padhke samajh aa jayega.”

He had been stunned, “yeh… yeh mere liye hai…”

She had nodded, “padh lena… umm… koi sawaal ho toh kal puch lena.”

“Thank you”, he had murmured, unable to say anything else. She had turned and walked away… But at the turn of the corridor, she had suddenly stopped and looked back when Pandit had queried, “kya baat kar raha tha uss behenji se?” He had understood that Naina had heard, but she hadn’t said anything; just smiled a bit and left.

With a longing sigh he came back to the present… Thanks to her timely help all three of them had passed… But blame it on the age, or her image of a student being constantly teased, he hadn’t ever thanked her properly or even understood the magnitude of what she had done. She had taken time out and written out notes for him… especially for him… and added examples and other bullet points to make it more understandable for him… He recalled how some of the complicated words also had their English translation in adjacent parenthesis. How had she done that? It must have taken her so much time to copy those notes and then customize it so that he could understand it easily… It was such a special gesture… How had he missed the depth of it then?

Tum hamesha mujhe padhaku ya behenji bolte the… aaj achanak se mera naam kaise yaad aaya?

God… She was so used to being teased that she was literally surprised when he had remembered her name. He wished now that years ago on that day when he had thanked her for the notes he had added her name at the end. There should be some kind of restriction and punishment in schools for teasing and bullying… Had they all made her feel inferior by calling her names? How had she still found it in herself to help everyone? And why did it take a broken heart for him to actually see the goodness in her?

As the bottle emptied, he sighed, thinking that it wouldn’t do to dwell on the past. He was not perfect, far from it in fact. He had made a lot of bad decision and mistakes in his life. But now that he had realized at least how much he valued Naina, he could do something good for the first time by finding her… Also, more than the opportunity to do something good and right, finding Naina would mean a chance for himself… That is… If she was willing to give him that chance…

That night he slept with a dream in his eyes… He had done that before as well; felt the hope of a better future with Shaili and Sakshi, and both times his dream had shattered in thousand pieces; but this time he was sure that the outcome won’t be the same… He would do everything in his power and then some more to have a proper relationship with Naina. He had no idea why he was so driven to be with her, and he didn’t want to put a tag name of his emotions so soon, but he just knew that Naina was special.

In another part of the city Phulla Bua took her medicine and lay down, her eyes teary as she wished for the next day to pass soon so that Monday would arrive and she could find Naina. She had brought her here to protect her, but her own words have inadvertently pushed Naina away. She had no idea that Naina was still hoarded so much fear inside her… She had to find her and assure her that she would never ever push her away to those brutes that called themselves her family.

Meanwhile inside a room in Metro Residency, Naina locked the door and secured it by pushing the wooden chair beneath the handle. She wasn’t really scared but she was staying alone like this for the first time in her life. It was never a bad thing to be extra cautious. She had spent the evening choosing some on-rent ads from the newspapers, and calling the landlords to schedule an appointment. More than 50% of them were a no-go when they heard it was a single woman hunting apartments, lot of them questioned if her family was dead, or if she was widow or divorcee, or worst yet a single mom. But some of them were genuine, and she fixed an appointment to meet four people tomorrow. Then she did follow the tea vendor’s recommendation and went to Shalimar to buy some food for herself. There was place to sit inside, but it was cramped and most of the tables were on sharing basis by men, and smaller tables were exclusively for family for three or four. So she had chosen to get food packed. It was a simple meal of roti-sabji, and a chocolate from the nearby grocery store. And now she turned on the fan, pushed the blanket aside, and lay down on the bed started reading a book she had carried with herself. Soon she started to feel drowsy, so she turned off the ceiling light, but kept the bedside lamp turned on, as she felt bit scared to sleep in darkness. This time she didn’t stop herself from imagining Sameer hugging her… She had thought about this in evening, and deduced that since she was living alone for the first time, she needed some form of comfort; she was sure that it would stop with time, when she was more independent and sure of the situation she was in. As she drifted off, imagining herself cocooned in Sameer’s warmth, she dreamt of a life where she lived on her own terms.