Love Me Tonight
Chapter 15: A Fairytale Or Not

Weddings… Naina had thought dreamily about them when she was a teenager, emotionally when she was engaged at the tender age of eighteen, and practically when she finally married at twenty-four. But all those times she had never thought about how much of a pompous affair Indian weddings can be… Now on seeing the bright lights, gazillion flowers decorating the grounds, the magnificent mandap, and the guests milling around in finery she wondered if she had accepted the rituals, would Sameer had also done such grand arrangements. It looked like a perfect fairytale. However, the next moment on seeing the beautiful bride surrounded by family and friends gave her a reality check on her situation, and she was horrified on feeling tears prickle her eyes.

Sameer sat with his eyes on the mandap in-front of them where the jaimala ceremony was going to start soon, but his attention focused on his wife sitting next to him. It was 25th December, Christmas and Kashish’s wedding day. At first he had thought he would be only dropping by for a few minutes to wish the bride and groom as formality, and had ensured Aman sent over the gift to them beforehand so that they could plan their travel in advance. But to his surprise the day after shifting to his home, Naina had initiated the discussion about Kashish’s wedding and expressed her wish to attend, her reasoning being that Kashish had attended their wedding, supported them and also kept their secret even from her own fiance. Sameer, even though reluctant to spend time in such functions, had readily accepted in hopes of attending it with his wife.

He knew it was way too soon for Naina to attend his end-of-year office event. Pictures from that event made it to the papers and sometimes to business TV channels as well, and even if his PR team controlled each and every piece of information, there was no way that Naina’s photo wouldn’t leak. As his wife, Naina would be beside him the entire evening, and he would also have to introduce her to everyone – and that would be way too huge news to keep out of the media. Definitely he didn’t want his and her family to know of them like this. They would first need to inform about their relationship to Nanu, and then find a way to share it with Naina’s family in a way that they don’t accuse her of running away from Phulla Bua’s home with some man. Then and only then would he allow this to be announced in the papers.

And this was the reason he had grabbed the chance of attending Kashish’s wedding with Naina. It had been completely alright at first. He had gotten her a new saree… A deep purple paithani silk with rich gold zari border that was adorned with floral prints in contrasting shade. The blouse was a wide boat neck in the same deep purple, with short capped sleeves and a round cut at the back with one hook on top and two more at the bottom. She had kept her neck bare, but wore large golden jhumkas in her ears and slipped on the gold metal bangles from her own wedding set on her right hand. Her left hand sported a slim gold watch. Eyeliner and kohl adorned her eyes and her lips glistened with dusty rose lipstick. Her pregnancy added a natural glow to her face… To him she looked ethereal…

She had been extremely delighted when they had arrived, taking in the grand decorations with wide astonished eyes. He had brought her a dish of aloo-tikki chaat from the counters making her exclaim in happiness. But as they waited for the function to start, he had noticed her smile dimming, her eyes losing their shine and now she just looked perplexed and contemplative. She was watching the mandap, but her gaze seemed unfocused. He had no idea what was going on in her mind… Was she regretting coming here? Was she thinking of how hurried their wedding was? Was she wondering about her family? He wanted her to be happy, but he was unsure how he could achieve that.

Taking a deep fortifying breath, he reached out and gently held her hand, linking their fingers. When she turned her head to look at him, he smiled, hoping to reassure her, “everything okay?”

She blinked a couple of times and then a small smile once more adorned her lips, “haan… bas soch rahi thi… about our wedding.”

“Oh”, he tilted his head and waited without further comment. He watched her throat work as she swallowed once, and then bit her lower lip as if thinking if she should elaborate further. After a moment, her fingers squeezed his hand slightly and she voiced out, “I was thinking if we had a normal wedding… I mean… aise jaldi me nahi toh kya tum bhi aise arrangements karte kya… Everything looks so beautiful over here. Lekin phir… Kashish has her family and friends… I don’t… Yeh decorations, rituals… sab bahot achcha hai par shayad sab fizul lagega agar parivaar saath na ho toh.”

He rubbed his thumb over hers, soothing her, his eyes fixed on her face searching for signs of distress or regret, but all he found was a deep profound sadness. He took a minute to organize his thoughts and then broached the topic, “I have never thought about it honestly, but I guess it depends on the family as well… Agar family members hamari khushi me khush na ho toh shayad unka function me hona ya na hona koi maaine nahi rakhega. Like my mom… She would attend just for society… Log kya kahenge agar maa apne bete ki shaadi me nahi hui toh… Par unki smile aur aashirwaad dono jhoothe hote. Par mere Nanu… Woh function me ho ya na ho, mujhe yaqeen hai woh dil se mujhe hamesha aashirwaad denge.”

Naina thought about what he said, the simple thought of family being part of rituals was complicated for both of them because of their family dynamics. Finally she asked, “tum apne Nanu ko bahot miss karte ho na.”

He nodded without any hesitation, “haan… sometimes I just feel like unko phone karke sab bata du… About how happy I am to find you again, to marry you… about our child… I can imagine, you know… Nanu yahan aayenge aur saath me bags bharke samaan le aayenge… Tumhare liye shagun ki sareeya… Nani ke gehne jo unhone meri honewali dulhan ke liye alag se rakhe hue the… Ahmedabad ki khaas mithai aur nashta… Unki almari me ek Laxmi mata ki sone ki murti hai, choti si… Jis din maine Mumbai me SJM khola tha uss din unhone liya tha, aur mujhe kaha tha yeh devi maiya hamesha mujhe tarakki aur kamyabi dengi. Lekin main bhagwaan me nahi manta toh unhone apne paas rakh liya uss murti ko. Ab shayad woh tumhe sambhalne ko de denge. Aur hamare baby ke liye bhi bahot saare tohfe layenge. I don’t know babies ko kya dete hai par I am sure Nanu ko pata hoga.”

She smiled at the picture he painted. Could it really be possible? Can his Nanu look past the fact that the baby was conceived before marriage? Can he forgive that he was not allowed to attend the wedding of his own grandson? Can he truly accept her despite her not wearing the symbols of their marriage? She knew Sameer didn’t mind… But for the older generation sindur and mangalsutra were not just symbols, but rather seen as something that women should wear for their husband’s long life. Will his Nanu be able to adjust his belief to his grandson’s? And what about her… Was she ready to let Sameer talk about their relationship to his Nanu? Can they take that chance? Can they…

Before she could continue her line of thoughts, sudden sounds from the mandap dragged her attention away from their conversation. The jaimala ritual was about to begin. The pheras were going to happen late in the night, and so the couple had decided to have the reception following the jaimala. Naina’s smile widened, and she tightened her hold on Sameer’s hand, “Kashish aaj kitni khubsurat lag rahi hai na?”

He shrugged, “I suppose yes… Par meri nazro me tum sabse zyada khubsurat lag rahi ho.”

She let out a small laugh, her voice held a teasing undertone as she said, “itna maska mat maaro… Kashish ki tareef karoge toh main galat nahi samjhungi tumhe aur naa hi mujhe bura lagega.”

He smiled, leaning towards her, “baat galat samajhne ki nahi hai… I am not scared about that because my love for you is true. Koi ladki achchi dikhti hai ya nahi yeh main jaanta hun… Kashish is good looking… But she is not the one who I want to see. As a person who deals with models almost everyday I can objectively comment on kaunsi ladki achchi dikhti hai ya konsa ladka achcha dikhta hai… Lekin meri nazro me jo iss puri duniya me sabse zyada khubsurat hai woh tum ho.”

Her eyes danced in delight at the truth in his tone, and her cheeks flushed on seeing the emotions in his eyes. He added softly, just for her ears, “I love you my gorgeous wife…”

The color on her cheeks deepened and her lips curved in a beautiful smile. As the couple on the stage exchanged the garlands, she tugged her hand away from Sameer’s and looped it around his arm, moving as close as she could and leaned her head on his shoulder. His heart thudded and he couldn’t stop himself from tilting his head a bit so that his cheek touched her hair, sheer happiness filling his heart.

The week since they had shifted to Vedanta Villas had been full of ups and downs. First her demand to stay in a separate room which she still stuck to, and about which he hadn’t been able to find a reason for. She would freeze up whenever he would talk about ‘his room’ even if it was a part of conversation… Like once he asked her to check if any specific furniture was needed as no woman had ever lived here. To his shock she almost looked to be on the verge of fainting at the prospect of entering his room… It had made him wonder if she regretted that night; hated what had transpired between them… But immediately in the next moment he knew for sure that was not the case… Naina loved their child way too much to regret that night. He was also sure Naina loved him, so she didn’t hate or regret anything. However, the reason behind her fear and reluctance eluded him.

The first day when Naina had woken from her afternoon nap, she had been surprised to see Sameer asleep, sitting beside her bed, holding her hand. She had slowly removed her hand from his and gotten up, but that had woken Sameer up as well and he had smiled at her, asking her about her health as if it was perfectly normal for him to be sitting like that on the floor by her bedside. Another surprise had been the change in Bhavna Tai’s attitude from that evening… If she had been suspicious and indifferent in the morning, the evening was a complete turnaround with gracious warm smiles and chattering that bordered on affection. On seeing her befuddled state, Sameer had confided that he had shared the news of her pregnancy with Bhavna Tai. She had struggled with the surge of anger and resentment inside her at him for sharing the personal news without her permission, but then she had deflated when Tai had kept a hand on her head, stroking her hair and assured she would take care of her like she had done for her own bahu. It had been ages since she had experienced such a gesture of motherly affection, and she had only been able to nod, a watery smile on her lips and her eyes moist with unshed tears.

Sameer still made tea for her everyday, and sometimes he also cooked her favorite poha or tomato-cheese sandwich, but other than that Bhavna Tai had taken over the entire cooking. Naina loved spending time in the kitchen, just sitting on a chair while Tai fluttered about cooking up a storm nearly everyday. When Sameer had given Tai the recipe book he had purchased, she had tutted and smacked him with the same book asking how she would read English, when she couldn’t even recognize the alphabets. And she had also declared that she didn’t need firangi books for cooking meals as she had been doing that since she was a teenager. However Sameer had stressed that Naina loved some of the recipes from that book, and so Bhavna Tai had then asked her to rewrite them in Hindi. Under Sameer’s watchful eyes she had translated recipes for three different types of salads, four varieties of soups, a couple of vegetable and rice dishes, and two types of stuffed paratha. Sameer had also written down a schedule of Naina’s meal intakes including milk and juice for Bhavna Tai to follow. And these last few days she felt as pampered as a Christmas goose, stuffed to brim with good food.

Sameer had started to be more busy with his office work, courtesy the upcoming event and year end closure. On top of that there was the international launch that often led to Sameer muttering a string of inventive swears under his breath which completely amused Naina. In fact he was so busy that he had started sending a car and driver to pick her up and some days to even drop her off at the library. Seeing him work so hard, Naina often wondered how he had made so much time for her when they had been living in her small apartment. Had he been delegating more? Did he have someone who could manage the office without him? It also made her curious about seeing him in his office… She had had several daydreams about Sameer dressed in his usual business suit, sitting on a large leather chair behind a sturdy oakwood desk, twirling a paper-weight with his long perfect fingers. Or of Sameer in the same leather chair, that was turned sideways to the desk and he had the ankle of one leg crossed over another at knee, a file spread on his lap, a pen between his fingers as he made some notations, an intense look of concentration on his face as he leaned his cheek on the closed fist of his other hand that rested on the arm-bar of his chair. A few more images disconcerted her as she had found she could see herself walking inside his cabin, plopping down on his lap to distract him from his work, grabbing his face, tilting it up to kiss him. In such dreams she thought she could even hear his groan and feel his hands coming up to hold her waist. Another one was of him holding her hand, showing her around his office and as they reached his cabin he would tug her inside, pressing her against the closed door and express how much he wanted to kiss her – till here it was still okay but the next moment the dream version of her would grab his tie to tug him down for a soul searing kiss. The first time she had had this dream, it had left her so flustered that next morning when she had seen Sameer trying to fix his tie in the living room she had blushed quite possibly a hundred shades of red.

And then there were the nights… No matter how busy he was he always made it a point to have dinner with her. There were a couple of days when he had left for office before she had even woken up, but he would always come back before dinner time. He also always talked about his days – the work he was doing, the progress in the launch, the preparations for the office event, some anecdotes of Aman. Once when she had been in a bad mood for no real reason, she had snapped at him that she didn’t care about what he had done in office. He had paused with a morsel half-way to his mouth, looked at her for a moment, and then told her, “maybe you don’t… but I care about what you did the whole day and how your health is. Main nahi chahta ke main sirf tumhare baare me puchu aur phir hum chup-chap khana kha le, isiliye tumhe apne baare me batata hun. Family members ke beech me conversation hota hai, interrogation nahi.”

Quite honestly that had not just stunned her, but she had also felt shame creeping in from every corner in her body. Here he had been making an effort to maintain their relationship despite all her reservations, and she had been making it difficult for him at every step of the way. It had also led her to realize that she never did ask him about his day or how he was. The next day Sameer had asked her about her health and her day before sitting for dinner, and the meal time had been uncomfortably silent. When she had discussed this with Dr. Suchitra, the doctor had simply shaken her head and asked her to make an effort to fill in the meal times with conversation if she was uneasy with silence. After all, both husband and wife should make the relationship work. That night over a bowl of tomato soup she had gathered courage and asked him about his day in office. The smile that had lit up his face felt like a reward far greater than any effort she had made till date.

They had set a routine for the evenings automatically. Dinner together, a walk around the lawn or in the society compound, then Naina would excuse herself to her room and read until she fell asleep. Sameer usually completed his office work or watched some late night news or sports, but eventually he would find his way in her room and sleep beside her. After that first afternoon she had wondered what he would do at night. When he hadn’t joined her in the guest room she had thought he had gone to sleep in his room. But sometime during the night she had woken up, enveloped in his arms. It had seemed like a perfect dream and so she had fallen asleep again. Only in the morning when she had seen the side of the bed empty had she wondered if it was really a dream, but then she had spotted the indentation in the pillow; clear evidence of someone sleeping next to her. Instead of anger she had felt relief and had smiled through breakfast. This kept happening every night. He came to her room after she fell asleep, and left before she woke up. But she always knew he had been there, and he also never made any attempt to hide the evidence of his presence. He never asked if he could sleep in her room, and she had never objected to it.

A voice from behind them made both of them come out of their thoughts. It was Aman. He smiled at the couple and then addressed his boss, “would you like to meet Kashish and Hiten?”

Sameer nodded, and stood up, offering his hand to Naina who accepted it without any hesitation. “The bouquet?” Sameer asked.

Aman gestured to a table on the side, “I will get it, just a second.” As he rushed to get the bouquet, Naina took out the gift box from the bag they had carried. Even though Sameer had assured her that a very expensive travel package had been gifted to the couple from SJM, she had still insisted on buying something personal. Kashish had gifted her a silver jewelry set, and cufflinks to Sameer on their wedding. A travel package, though being wonderful, was a gift from an employer to his employees, not from a friend to another. Hence, her insistence on giving another gift. However, giving jewelry in return of jewelry seemed a bit boring. Photoframes, couple watches, personalized mugs, even a spa voucher were suggested by Sameer and rejected by Naina. Finally she had invited Aman over to their home for evening tea and grilled him about information on Hiten and Kashish. Based on whatever Aman had told her she had deduced that Kashish was a creative person interested not just in designing but also in craft, and Hiten was an accountant by profession but a photographer at heart. And so she had decided to give something that would cater to their passion. Sameer’s crude joke about how a honeymooning couple’s only passion would be exploring each other and so they should give them some sexy lingerie and scented candles had earned him a pinch on his waist that had resulted in a bruised patch of red skin that remained for two days and gained no sympathy from his wife.

It had taken Naina a couple of days to get everything for the gift package she had planned. With Anmol and Poonam’s help she had managed to get an instant polaroid camera with two boxes of extra printing papers, an A4 sized handmade scrapbook, sketchpens, markers, glitter pens, glue, decorative stickers, false gem stones, and several other knick-knacks that Naina insisted was absolutely needed. And then she had carefully arranged them in a cardboard box and wrapped it in a glossy red gifting paper with a gold bow on top. His wife’s excitement was palpable as she imagined Kashish’s delight when she saw all the stuff in the box. Over a bowl of homemade sprout chaat she had even confided in Sameer about her own interest in such craft and how she used to save up money to buy glitter pens to decorate her journal. He had asked her if she still wrote a journal, and she had let him know that she had stopped after shifting to Mumbai but since she had gotten to know of her pregnancy she did make note of important dates. Given it was related to their child he had not been hesitant to ask her to show it to him, and she had… There were several dates – the date of conception, the day she had gotten to know she was pregnant, the expected date of delivery given by the doctor, the first counseling, the first sonography, and even the date her morning sickness had started.

Blinking his eyes, he had asked in an incredulous tone, “you want to remember the date you puked?”

She had scrunched her nose, “yes, it is an important milestone in pregnancy.”

He had shaken his head at the information, but inside his brain an idea had started to form. An idea that he had later discussed with Aman and just yesterday he had received all the relevant stuff in his office and kept them hidden at the bottom drawer of his desk under lock and key.

Aman handed over the bouquet that Naina had gotten custom made at the florist. It had astounded Sameer when visiting the florist two days ago, instead of just asking for roses or daisies, his wife had started talking to the florist about Larkspur and Snapdragons. The old florist’s face had literally lit up at finding a fellow flora enthusiast, and Sameer had just stood blinking as the pair in-front of him threw ideas back and forth on a perfect bouquet. The bouquet now Sameer held in his hand was made of blood red Roses, which Naina had told him was a variety called Floribunda or Rajamani in layman terms, sprigs of mauve and blue Larkspur, and some fresh bloomed white daffodils, interspersed with green fern like stuff that he couldn’t recall the name of. In short, no one would say it was a standard bouquet and it made him realize probably his wife had one more hobby that no one knew of.

Kashish greeted them with a huge smile and a warm hug for Naina, and then squealed on seeing the bouquet that he handed over. Hiten accepted the gift from Naina with a gracious smile. Even though he now knew about Naina being his boss’s wife, he was not as comfortable as Kashish while talking to the couple. For him SJM has always been someone unreachable. Kashish was used to directly talking to SJM, but he could probably count on his fingertips the times he had actually interacted with the man. In fact a month or two prior, SJM had not even been on the wedding invitation list. And it had astounded him when suddenly one day Kashish had expressed her wish to invite SJM and adding a plus one to his invitation. He had been puzzled and told his fiance that SJM would never attend a commoner’s wedding. Finally just a day before the wedding rituals would begin Kashish had confided in him that SJM was married and that their boss’s wife had actually become a friend of hers and that she had also attended their wedding. To be honest, he was still in a daze from all that information and even now on seeing SJM in-front of him with a woman who was apparently his wife, he felt as if he was in some alternate universe.

Upon descending the stage after a standard reception photograph, Naina tugged at his sleeve and he lowered his head dutifully so that wife could speak near his ear. She queried in a low confused tone, “yeh Hiten thoda ajeeb nahi hai? Thank you ke alawa kuch bola bhi nahi… Tumse bhi baat nahi ki.”

He chuckled, “sweetheart… you do remember who I am don’t you?”

She pursed her lips, “Sameer.”

“SJM”, he corrected, “Kashish is the design head, isiliye woh mere saath directly kaam karti hai kaafi baar. Hiten accounting department me hai… I don’t deal directly with him. Uske liye I am his boss jisse usne apne poore career me shayad teen ya chaar baar baat ki hai. And today I am here at his wedding… And his wife is my wife’s friend… my wife – jiske existence ke baare me hi usko kuch din pehle pata chala. Do you think he has anything to talk to me about?”

Naina frowned, processing his words and then sighed, “main tumko SJM ke roop me imagine hi nahi kar paati.”

He smiled, placing a hand on the small of her back to guide her to their chairs again, “ek baar sabko bata de hamare baare me phir tumhe office le chalunga. You can see SJM in action.”

Once more she seemed to be thinking about what he said and he wondered if the prospect of announcing their wedding was disturbing her. As they sat down he looked around the grounds, spotting some of his employees and maintained a stoic face when he saw them looking in their direction. None of them knew who Naina was, and it would remain a mystery as no one would even think of asking him. However, it would be clear to his employees that the woman beside him was important to him, just from his behavior and the fact that they had gone up the stage to wish the couple together. Very soon Aman came to ask if they would like him to get some food for them, but Sameer stood up and clapped on his back, “Aman… you are also a guest at the wedding, not my assistant over here. Tum enjoy karo… And don’t worry about us. Hum khud khana le lenge.”

Aman smiled, but glanced in concern towards Naina, “par madam… I mean…”

Naina also stood up and grinned, “main chal sakti hun Aman bhai… Aap fikar mat kijiye. Sameer aur main khud khana le lenge.”

Aman grinned at the way Naina addressed him. That had been another change after their wedding. Initially she wouldn’t address Aman directly without using a name, but then when she had asked him to come for discussion about Kashish’s wedding gift, she had automatically called him bhai. Somehow it had surprised her, but then she had taken a deep breath and confirmed with Aman if he minded, but he had only been too happy. Despite being a few years younger than Naina, being addressed as bhai somehow made him feel like a responsible older brother.

He leaned forward, informing in a conspiratorial tone, “garam jalebi ka stall hai end me.”

Naina’s eyes and smile widened in happiness. Sameer rolled his eyes, and held his wife’s hand, “only after you eat a proper meal. Usse pehle jalebi bilkul nahi.”

She pouted, and he shook his head knowing that there would be a full scale assault of cute antics just so that he would agree to let her eat less from the main course and have more jalebis instead. And he was right… She took a little bit of rice and just one puri, citing that it was way too oily. But not to be thwarted, Sameer asked the man behind tandoor to make fresh roti for her and placed one on her dish. He also added some stuffed karela and other veggies from the tawa sabzi to her plate, though he relented on her wish to not eat salad as he also felt it to be not hygienic enough as it was not freshly cut. There was tomato soup and he took a bowl of that to share. Finally seated on a round table they started to eat and were soon joined by Aman, who to no one’s surprise had brought a dish of jalebi. Sameer had known that Aman would find a way to get jalebis for Naina but that didn’t stop him from glaring at him. Naina immediately reached out to pick one, but Sameer grabbed her hand, “pehle soup finish karo.”

Grumbling about how her husband was a reincarnation of hitler she spooned the tomato soup in her mouth, till the bowl was empty and then huffed, “ab khush?”

He smirked, wiping a bit of soup from the corner of her mouth, “yes…”, and lifted a crispy juicy jalebi to her mouth. As she bit into the decadent sweet, the juices coated her lips and his gaze dropped to her mouth, the chocolate darkening to onyx, a fire flaring deep inside and she shivered at the sensation that coursed through her body. Her mouth became dry and suddenly the jalebi tasted bland as she knew his kisses would taste way better than one of her favorite sweets. Aman cleared his throat, declaring that the dal was delicious and he was going to get another bowl of it. Sameer closed his eyes, turning his head away from his wife to reign control over the sharp flare of desire that he had suddenly experienced. Naina also quickly wiped her mouth with a napkin, and focused on the food on her plate, but barely noticed what she ate.

An hour later they once again met Kashish and then left the venue to go back home. The car drive was quiet, the silence between them fraught with tension of the desire-filled moments they had shared. None of them could think of anything to say or a topic that would bring them back to their original camaraderie. Suddenly on the next turn at the road, a dog ran right into the middle of the lane causing Sameer to apply the brakes. The car screeched, both of them jerked and Naina let out a yelp of surprise, closing her eyes in fear. She heard him cursing in a low voice and slowly opened his eyes to see the dog now standing on the side of the road. Dragging in a deep breath she realized that she had placed her hands over her stomach to protect her baby… But as she looked down her breath hitched on seeing that her hands were actually covering Sameer’s hand, which was on her belly, his palm splayed across the span of her stomach protectively while his other hand was still on the steering wheel.

“Tum theek ho?” He asked.

She pressed down on his hand rejoicing in the warmth of his palm on her belly, and smiled at him, “haan.”

He also looked at where his hand was, and smiled, letting his thumb stroke her skin for a moment before pulling back. As he started to drive again, Naina relaxed in her seat, somehow no longer feeling stressed over the desire she had experienced for him. It was natural for a woman to crave the touch of her husband, wasn’t it? And Sameer was not just her husband but also the father of her child… So there was nothing wrong in wanting his touch and kisses. Yes, she was not ready to act upon her desire, but she could think all she wanted to. It was her right…

That night she lay awake resolutely until Sameer came to her room, and turned on the bedside lamp as soon as she heard him enter. He stood surprised for a moment, indecisive of his next move at discovering she was awake. However when she just kept staring at him he took a tentative step forward, and managed to croak, “do you mind?”

His thoughts raced and he prayed fervently to every super power out there that she wouldn’t turn him away, wouldn’t ask him to leave… He didn’t think he could bear it if she enforced a separation now… Not now when he had had weeks of bliss of holding her as he slept. He might as well give up sleeping if she turned him away today.

She kept her gaze on him, noticing the tension in his body, the way his fists clenched and unclenched, the shadow of thoughts passing on his face. “Isse pehle toh pucha nahi”, she pointed out.

His eyes moved away from hers, “you used to be asleep… and I… uh…”

“I don’t mind”, she softly said as he trailed off. His gaze snapped back to hers, widening in surprise for a second before relief flared through him, releasing the tension from his body. He walked slowly towards the bed, and lay down beside her, feeling like it was the day they had got married, when he was unsure if he should hug her or should say something to her.

She turned off the lamp, leaving only a small night light burning overhead so that the room was not completely dark. Turning to face him she once again gazed contemplatively at his face for a moment and then asked, “tum bol rahe the hamari shaadi ke announcement ke baad mujhe office le jaoge.”

He nodded, his brows furrowing as he was not sure what was going through her head, and tension began to creep in his body once more in anticipation of some argument. Another moment of silence and then she queried, “31st ko jo company event hai usme announce karne wale ho?”

He blinked, finally understanding what had worried her. Inching closer he reached for her, and she came into his arms without any hesitation, tucking her head in the crook of his shoulder. Glad that she had voiced out her concern instead of letting it build up in some anguish inside her, he assured, “nahi… company event me kuch announce nahi karunga. That is going to be purely professional. Aur tumhe attend karneki bhi koi zaroorat nahi hai…”

She felt confused, “I don’t understand… Tum chahte ho ke hum sabko bataye hamari shaadi ke baare me. Par office event me mujhe aaneko mana kar rahe ho. Tum mujhe saath le nahi jaana chahte ya tumhe lagta hai yeh sahi waqt nahi hai?”

He tightened his hold on her slightly, “Naina… agar mera bas chale toh main aaj hi poori duniya me announce kardu ke tum meri biwi ho. Lekin woh tareeka sahi nahi hoga. Maine bahot socha… I really wanted to take you with me for the year end event. Lekin uss event me media bhi hogi. There is no way ke hum dono ki photo leak na ho. Event ke photographs paper me aayenge, videos news me dikhaye jayenge… You will be seen… Koi speculation ho sakta hai hamare relationship ke baare me… I don’t want to hurt Nanu like that… Aur tumhari family…”

She stiffened in his arms at the mention of her family, and he immediately rubbed her back, crooning, “shsh… I am just saying… Agar tumhare photos ya videos tumhari family ne dekhe toh unhe pata chal jayega ke tum kahan ho. Aur unke dimag me bhi kuch alag kahani ban sakti hai.”

She sighed and expressed in a low tone, “unhe toh yaqeen ho jayega ke main tumhare saath ghar se bhaag gai.”

“I wish”, he chuckled, “filmy romantic love story…”

His ease with the acceptance of the situation made her smile. He added, “hum bahot delicate situation me hai… aur mera society me jo position hai, that’s not going to make things easy. I thought of the best way to handle this… par samajh nahi aaya tumse kab aur kaise baat karu.”

She queried, “kya tareeka hai?”

“Sabse pehle humne Nanu ko batana hoga hamari shaadi ke baare me”, he informed without hesitation, “I trust him… Mujhe yaqeen hai ke woh iss shaadi ko, hamare bachche ko accept karenge. Uske baad main media me official statement release karunga about our marriage. It will not mention the date of the wedding, sirf itna batayenge ke kuch months ho gaye. Jab hamara baby born hoga we will have to release another statement in the media. Agar shaadi ki date pata nahi hogi toh koi hamare baby ke birth pe bhi sawaal nahi utha payega.”

She thought about it for few minutes, noticing how he didn’t mention anything about informing Phulla Bua-dadi, and she understood that either bua-dadi already knew about their marriage and her pregnancy, or Sameer would deal with her on his own as she had not expressed the wish to meet her. It made her feel grateful as she was not really ready to face bua-dadi yet. The sequence of events he stated also made sense to her and she was touched by how careful he was about not letting anyone question the legitimacy of her child. But one thing nagged her and she couldn’t stop from asking, “kya koi bhi pata nahi laga payega ke hamari shaadi kab hui? Ya mere background ke baare me? I mean… reporters ka toh kaam hi yahi hota hai na… To dig out information.”

He let out a low laugh, and his tone was confident as well as a bit smug as he replied, “dhund toh koi lega shayad par report nahi kar payega koi. I have enough power to control what information will or will not be shared in the media about me. It is always necessary to maintain a balance with the media people… Isiliye kuch information khud dena zaroori hai… It’s like business… give some, hold back some, but never lose control… Aur dusri baat yeh ke koi paper ya channel SJM ko naraaz karneka risk nahi lega.”

She smiled, “apne mooh miya mitthu.”

He was puzzled, “huh? Woh kya hota hai?”

“Khud ki tareef khud karna”, she explained.

He laughed, “ab kya karu… biwi tareef karti nahi hai toh khud hi kar liya.” Her hand inched towards his waist, and he shrieked, “nahi… pinch mat karo… peechli baar do din tak laal nishaan raha tha.”

She giggled, “awww… nazook kali. Skin pe thoda kya nishaan pada, bardaasht nahi hua.”

He mocked a gasp, “excuse me… nishaan se koi problem nahi hai… jis tareeke se nishaan ho raha hai usse problem hai…” His eyes danced as he tightened his hold on her, and dipped his head to whisper directly in her ear, “you see… I won’t mind you scratching me with your nails as you moan my name… And I would absolutely love to get a hickey… on my chest… or my neck… wherever you wish sweetheart…”

She squeezed her eyes shut, a small needy sound escaping her lips as he brushed a kiss on her ear and then drew in her earlobe in his mouth, sucking gently on it. He drew back, took a deep calming breath and kissed her temple, “I love you.” He held her to his chest, letting her hear how fast it was beating – all for her, all because of her…

Her body automatically curled into him, her hand fisting on his t-shirt… She nuzzled her face on his shoulder, pressing as close to him as she could, before letting the fatigue of the day wash over her. They drifted to sleep, wrapped in each other’s arms, having for the first time planned for their future together.

The days following Kashish’s wedding could be described in one word… Hectic. Sameer seemed to be constantly stressed and tired. Files were spread in probably every room as he worked for the board meeting. He ate whatever was served without any argument, and sometimes he even forgot that food had been served. He was either lost or snapping at everyone and everything. Till date Naina had been subjected to his desire, his love, his care and even his pain; but in those days after Christmas she was snapped at more times than she could count. Sometimes it would be because the TV was loud, sometimes because he couldn’t find a file, sometimes because he would feel that she wasn’t eating enough healthy food. She had no idea how to deal with him… After the first few times when she felt hurt at the way he snapped at her, Bhavna Tai told her to ignore him as it was pressure making him behave that way. By the time the morning of 30th December rolled out she was exhausted as well. Sameer’s constant moody behavior made her antsy and she started to miss the serenity of her small apartment. She had started to take a stroll by herself in the morning and evening in the lawn, her mind picturising flowering shrubs at the perimeter, a vegetable patch in a corner, even a mango tree from which a swing could be hung. She avoided Sameer that morning and breathed in relief when he left for office, and when it was time for him to return she stayed in her room occupying herself with a book.

She heard his car honk from the gates and tried to stay focused on her book… The front door slammed gently making her heart skip beat… Low voices could be heard and even though she couldn’t distinguish the words, she was almost sure that Sameer was asking Bhavna Tai about her… The door of the room next door opened and closed, and her heart spiraled in a downward fall… Sameer had not come to her… Was he angry that she had avoided him since morning? Did she hurt him? Would he stop talking to her? She could barely tolerate it when he was not his usual loving and caring self with her, how would she bear it if he didn’t pay any attention to her at all? Amid all the questions and thoughts that raced through her mind she missed the sound of a knock… However, when the sound persisted she blinked back into focus… Someone was knocking at the door of her room… She didn’t dare hope… Maybe it was Bhavna Tai… She swallowed her turmoil and called out for the person to come in. The door opened and her breath caught on seeing Sameer standing there with a bag in his hand, wearing a track and t-shirt. His hair looked damp, and she realized that he had gone to his room to shower.

He closed the door behind her, walked up to her and chuckled on seeing her staring at him as if she had never seen him before. Dropping the bag on the bedside table, he thrust his arms under her, lifted her and sat down on the bed, and then settled her between splayed legs. Looping his arms around her, he leaned back against the headboard and pulled her back on his chest. She shivered lightly on being surrounded by his warmth, his heartbeat was strong and steady against her back, and her lungs filled with the musky smell of his shower gel mixed with his own unique smell. Her body relaxed into him, the turmoil in her brain calming down, and when he took the book from her hands to keep it aside she didn’t object.

He dropped his head to her neck, drawing in a breath and whispered against her skin, “hi.”

 She sunk into him, closing her eyes, relishing in being close to him once again, but couldn’t help voice her grudge, “bas hi? Gussa office me bhool gaye?”

“I am sorry love”, he dropped a series of kisses up and down her neck, “kaam ka bahot stress tha… Kashish bhi nahi thi toh international launch ka thoda responsibility bhi mere upar tha… Upar se board meeting ki taiyari… Aaj board meeting ho gaya…”

She gasped, turning her head to look at him, “aaj tha board meeting?” He nodded, and her eyes filled with regret, “I am sorry Sameer… main subah tumse mili bhi nahi… good luck bhi nahi bola.”

He flashed a grin at her, “sweetheart tumhara mere life me hona hi mere liye good luck hai. Upar se you looked so beautiful in this pink salwar-kameez today… garden me ghumte hue dekha tumhe poore 5 minute tak office jaane se pehle.”

A soft smile bloomed on her face, “sab theek se ho gaya?”

“Yes”, he tucked a loose strand behind her ear, “another successful year at SJM. Ab bas kal ki party bachi hai and then Sunday tak chutti.”

She hummed, “Saturday appointment hai Dr. Suchitra ke saath.”

Sameer nodded, “yaad hai… Suno… Kal raat main late tak office me rahunga. I really wished ke 12 baje tak ghar aake new year tumhare saath bitau, par… I can’t leave everyone like that. Yeh event bahot time se plan kar liya hai.”

“I understand”, she assured him, “waise bhi main yeh 12 baje wale new year me nahi maanti. Mujhe toh 1st January ko subah jaldi uthke suryoday dekhna achcha lagta hai… Naye saal ki shuruwat ek nayi subah ke saath.”

He smiled, “done phir toh… hum dono saath me sunrise dekhenge.”

She tutted, “tum late sone wale ho… I don’t think sunrise ke liye uth paoge.”

“Don’t underestimate your husband madam”, he teased, “tumhare liye main kuch bhi kar sakta hun.” She laughed, and he reached for the bag he had kept aside earlier. Bringing out a bouquet from it, he handed it over to her, “yeh tumhare liye laaya tha.”

She let out a pleased sound as she took hold of the big bouquet of carnations. There were four different colors of blooms, she thought that he had picked all the colors that the florist had. “Thank you”, she sighed, “it’s beautiful.”

He lightly touched a red carnation with his fingertip, “I was going to get roses first… You know… easiest and safe choice. Lekin phir tumhara flowers me interest yaad aaya. Usi florist ke paas gaya office se aate hue. He showed me so many different flowers ke mujhe toh naam bhi yaad nahi hai. But I liked these… Carnations. Color konse lu samajh nahi aa raha tha… Uss florist ne bataya har flower aur uske color ke peeche matlab hota hai. I thought he was joking.”

She chuckled, “he wasn’t… sach me hota hai matlab.”

He tilted his head, “carnations are known as flowers of love. I honestly had no idea… But uski baate sunne ke baad I chose these four colors. Do you know what they mean?”

She shook her head, “nahi… pata hai kuch matlab hota hai lekin itna dhyan se padha nahi kabhi.”

He touched the red carnation once more, as he explained, “Red is for love, affection and adoration – everything I feel for you. White is for purity and luck – you are my luck. Purple is for apology – I wanted to say sorry for the way I behaved these last few days. And this pink… This is very very special… It depicts protective motherly love… I can never forget how bravely you took the decision to be a single mother, how you protected our child even from me when you thought I couldn’t be trusted.” He nuzzled her hair, tightening his arms around her, “so so brave… so loving… so beautiful… I love you Naina… Itna pyaar karta hun ke shayad kabhi explain naa kar pau. Thank you for coming into my life, for giving me a second chance…”

She blinked as a few drops of tears escaped her eyes, the words returning his affection stuck in her throat and so unable to say anything she pressed her lips under his jaw, lingering over his slight stubble. His breath stuttered and he tilted his head, letting her lips glide up to his cheek. When she finally pulled back to look into his eyes, her breath caught at the swirling emotions in his eyes. Never before had she thought that eyes could express so much. He brushed his lips on her forehead, kissed her eyes close, lingered on her plump cheeks and then hugged her to him, burying his face in her neck. She also clung to him, one hand fisting the t-shirt at his back as she looked over his shoulder at the gorgeous carnations in her other hand. They stayed like that until Tai summoned them for dinner.

Next day Sameer stayed at home in the morning, preparing her favorite poha for breakfast and of course his special tea. Letting Tai know that he would be late and requesting her to stay behind as long as she could, he left for office at noon. Naina spent the afternoon post-lunch reading through the novel she had started, and in the evening over a glass of juice and masala khakra, she managed to convince Tai to watch TV with her. Dinner was masala rice and kadhi upon her request, along with a small bowl of fresh salad. Tai stayed back until 11pm, and once she left, Naina ensured that the door was locked and she went to sleep. Sometime during the night she drifted into semi-consciousness feeling herself being tucked into something warm and solid. She knew who it was and tried to take his name, but all that came out was a sleepy little moan. He hushed her, kissed her cheek and told her to sleep, promising that he was there for her. They fell asleep with dreams of the new year full of blissful sunrises and days filled with love and happiness. It wasn’t a fairytale from a book, but it was a tale of their love – real, exciting, passionate and something that was uniquely theirs.