Fog covered the mountain side, the lake gleaming at the distance, the early morning sunshine lending mild warmth on her hands as she stood at the window. The trilling of few birds could be heard, and the smell of wet mud drifted from the freshly watered garden. Naina sat on the window sill, her eyes closed and a smile on her lips as she relished the beautiful cold weather, snuggled in a blanket.
Her mind drifted off to yesterday evening – they had freshened up in their room which was so much different from Mt. Abu that she had stood and looked around finding everything of interest. The flooring was wooden, dark and polished. Two sturdy wooden beds stood at one side, and one small table with two chairs on the other side. There was also a small cupboard, and desk with an antique looking lamp on it. The curtains were shimmery white, with blue fastenings, that matched the white bedsheets. Lanterns were placed on several flat surfaces, in case electricity was disconnected some time.
After freshening up, she had eagerly put on her sweater and headed out to find Sameer already waiting for her. He had taken her down the backyard of the lodge, on a path that was flat but not paved, though it must have been familiar to him because he hadn’t faltered even once. They had held hands and walked in silence for a quite a long distance, Naina glancing around with eagerness. Sameer had been lost in thoughts and she hadn’t interrupted him, she understood that it wasn’t easy for him to come back here. She knew Sameer very well, even though this had been his so-called home for many years, she knew that he had been alone here. On reaching a small clearing, Sameer had stopped leaning against a tree, and wrapped one arm around her shoulder. She hadn’t hesitated at all, and had nestled against his side, her head on his chest.
After a minute or five, she didn’t know which, he had slowly whispered, “Naina…”
That had been it… the longing, the ache, the vulnerability in his voice had made her heart thud and she had turned in his arm, silently acquiescing to his demand. He had taken time, slowly, very slowly he had wrapped his other arm around her. She had burrowed closer, wrapping her own hands around him, and he had shuddered. A second had passed, and then he had tightened his hold, lowering his head to bury his face in her hair. “I love you”, he had roughly whispered, and she had clutched him tighter.
They had stood there like that, two hearts beating in one rhythm, finding solace in each other’s warmth. He had pulled back after some time, cupping her face and looked into her eyes as if searching her soul. She didn’t know what he was looking for, but all she had remembered in those moments was how much she loved him, and will always love him. His eyes had brimmed with tears, and he had muttered a thanks, pulling her in his arms again. She had understood that he was thanking her for trusting him to come this close to her, but she didn’t need it. Sometime later they had started to walk back to the hotel, this time his hand wrapped around her waist, securing her to his side.
There was a sound of common tailorbird calling from the nearby moss covered tree. Her brows furrowed as she felt someone near her, and two fingers touched her face tucking the strands of her hair behind her ears. The recognition was so instant that she didn’t even have a chance to be scared. Instead her smile widened, and she opened her eyes to see a sight that was equally or more pleasant than the beautiful morning.
“Good Morning”, she whispered, gazing into the deep brown eyes.
Sameer smiled, “wakai yeh morning good hai.”
She frowned slightly, “tum idhar kaise aaye? Peeche toh koi darwaza nahi hai.”
He chuckled, “khidki se aa gaya.” She laughed softly, patting the place next to her. And he climbed up to sit on the window sill, his legs dangling outside. The way she sat, facing his side, and her legs folded up, her feet touched his thighs and he shivered slightly at the sensation.
“Tumhe thand nahi lag rahi?”, she asked on seeing him wearing a collared t-shirt but no sweater.
He shrugged, “thodi si. Lekin achcha lag raha hai mausam”, he paused and then murmured, “mujhe laga tha aadat choot gai hogi.”
She placed her hand on his arm, her fingers slowly rubbing back and forth, “aaj kahan le jaane wale ho hume?”
He smiled, “JBR ne aaj lakeside market ka plan rakha hai, aur boating. Toh main bhi tum logo ko wahi aas paas ghumaunga. Aur kal subah Tiffin Top jaane ka plan hai.”
She tilted her head, “aur mujhe kahan ghuma rahe ho?”
He hesitated, his lips pressed in a thin line as he thought, and then sighed, “tumhe sach me mera school aur hostel dekhna hai?” She nodded, and he took another deep breath, “thike. Toh aaj le chalunga wahan pe.”
“Chalo walk karke aate hai”, she offered, “breakfast me thoda time hai.”
He agreed, “okay. Tum bahar aao, main apne room se nikalta hun.”
Sometime later they we walking on the road that had led to the lodge – with forested area on one side, and a deep valley overlooking the city center on the other side, the road was equally beautiful as it was dangerous. Sameer kept a tight hold on her hand, and made her walk on the inside of the road. They talked in general, about everything and nothing, until they found a small roadside shack selling tea and coffee. They stopped there, and ordered two cups of tea, and stood staring at the city below.
She sidled closer to him, “tum yeh saare raaste pehchaante ho?”
He nodded, wrapping an arm around her, the gesture suddenly too easy for him after yesterday, “haan. Main bahot ghumta tha apne dosto ke saath.”
“Dost?”, she enquired, “main toh kabhi tumko Munna aur Pandit ke alawa kisi aur ke baare me baat karte hue nahi suna. Yahan wale dost kaun the? Aur ab kahan hai?”
He was thoughtful as he sipped his tea, “umm… pata nahin. Lekin yahan se main bhaag gaya uske baad…”
“Ek minute”, she interrupted, “bhaag gaye matlab?”
He frowned, staring down at her, “maine kabhi tumko bataya nahi ke main Nainital se Ahmedabad bhaag ke aaya tha?”
Her eyes widened in surprise as she shook her head. He looked back at the city that was starting to wake up properly, the fog clearing to let the sun shine brightly, and he told her of the incident that had caused him to run away from Nainital. He mentioned about his bike stunt, about how he had collided with the Principal’s car, the scolding he had received, how he had refused to reveal his friends’ name. He didn’t say, but Naina understood that he had chosen to be rusticated rather than give up the names of his friends. His selflessness always amazed her, truly he could go to any extent for his friends, and of course for her.
His expressions became hooded as he told her how his mother and Mr. Somani had tried to get him back, but he hadn’t listened, and finally Nanu had intervened. He rubbed her arm, “pehle toh main ek English medium school me admission lene wala tha, lekin jab mujhe pata chala ke Mr. Somani bhi wahin se padhe hue the, maine mana kar diya admission ke liye. Munna ne mujhe uske school ke baare me bataya tha aur main wahan aa gaya.”
Suddenly he chuckled, “jaanti ho jis din main admission lene aaya tha na, uss din galti se girl’s bathroom me ghus gaya tha. Aur jab haath dho raha tha tab shayad kisi ladki ne mujhe dekh bhi liya andar… kya pata kaun thi.”
Naina pulled back from him, her expression incredulous, “woh… woh tum the? Orange shirt me?”
He was surprised, “iska matlab woh ladki tum thi?”
She laughed, “haan, aur maine Swati ko bhi bataya tha ke ladies bathroom me koi ladka hai. Aur usne mujhse kaha ke mujhe mera Prem mil gaya, jaise maine pyaar kiya ki Suman ko apni bathroom me mila tha.”
Sameer laughed aloud, “thik hi toh kaha tha usne. Tumko bhi toh apna Prem bathroom me hi mila pehli baar.”
She folded her arms, a mischievous sparkle in her eyes, as she said, “nahi toh… usse pehle hi mil chuka tha, market me.”
He was perplexed, “market me kab mile hum?”
“Bhul gaye? Chewing gum laga diya tha mere baalo me”, she huffed.
He looked sheepish, “umm… haan… yaad aaya. Sorry!”
She smiled, “chalo ab wapas. Breakfast pe late ho jayega warna.”
As they were walking back, Sameer suddenly asked, “Naina, tumhare paas blue color ka kuch hai kya? Mera matlab koi dress ya top.”
She nodded, confused as to why he was asking, “haan. Dress hai.”
He smiled, “perfect. Aaj wahi pehenna.”
Her brows furrowed, “kyun?”
He shrugged, “pata nahi. Man hua tumhe uss color me dekhne ka.”
She agreed to wear it for him, and that pleased him, unknown to both that this was the beginning of such requests in coming years too.
After having a heavy breakfast, they all left for mall road, with instructions from principal that they were free to spend the whole day as they wished, but had to return to the bus by 7pm. The mall road was a bustling place that ranged alongside the mesmerizing Naini lake, and had so many shops that they all felt spoilt for options. They spent around an hour coursing through several candle and handicraft shops, choosing and deciding, planning to buy later.
The boys proposed to go boating, and the girls immediately agreed. They hired three paddle boats with Sameer and Naina in one boat, Pandit and Preeti in another, while Munna accompanied Kamya and Hema in the third boat. A decent selection of boats awaited them, and Naina immediately selected a white swan boat to go on. Sameer got in first and then held out his hand to help her on it, something he had thought of doing in Mt. Abu too, but had withdrawn knowing that it wasn’t within his limits. He looked at her from head to toe, as she got in, somehow feeling extremely satisfied on seeing her dressed just like he wanted.
Her eyes twinkled as she teased him, “dekhte hi rahoge ya fir boat leke chale?”
He chuckled, “haan zarur. Waise bhi thoda dur, lake ke beech me zyada achchi jagah hai tumhe araam se dekhne ke liye.”
She blushed, but a smile adorned her face, as they started pedaling the big boat. He remembered how he had bought imli for her in Mt. Abu, and the way they had enjoyed. She was mesmerized with the beautiful blue lake, surrounded by the hills. It felt ethereal to see it. Dipping her hand in the water, she cupped a little of it, and then let it drop back slowly.
Sameer gazed at her, dressed in the dark blue salwar-kameez, she looked gorgeous. She had also kept her hair open just as he liked it, unable to resist he lifted his hand and touched her hair. “Kya kar rahe ho?”, she asked, puzzled.
He chuckled, “kuch nahi. Bas tumse nazar nahi hat rahi.”
She laughed, “aree… aas paas itna sundar nazara hai. Woh bhi toh dekho.”
“Dekha hua hai bahot baar. Tum apne nazare dekho, aur mujhe apna dekhne do”, he proffered.
Blushing to the roots of her hair, she murmured something that he was unable to hear, and lowered her gaze. He lifted some water in his palm and splashed it on her, surprising her. She sputtered, wiping her face, and when he laughed she too splashed some water on him. This continued for some time, and they both laughed oblivious to the other people around them. The next time when Naina tried to splash him, he caught her hand, and the water dribbled down their wrists wetting their sleeves. His eyes roamed over her wet face, the droplets clinging to her lips. Her eyes drifted from his wet hair, to the beads of water trapped in the slight stubble on his jaw. He hadn’t shaved today, and she didn’t know why but she wished to touch and see if his jaw felt rough or smooth. Slowly, each second stretching to eternity, he leaned towards her, and her breathing accelerated. She wanted to ask what he was doing but found that her throat was suddenly too dry leaving her unable to speak anything. He lifted his other hand, smoothing a wet strand of hair that clung to her face, his finger skimming her cheek, drifting to her throat, pushing back the errant strand. She gasped when his fingers rested for a moment on the crook of her neck, as if feeling the warmth of her skin.
“Hum bahot dur aa gaye Naina”, he whispered, his breath fanning on her skin.
Unable to comprehend what he was saying, she looked around, and found that they had pedaled to the center of the lake, and their friends on other boats were far off in the distance. Sameer had guided them to a private moment amid the open vistas. She looked back at him, to find his eyes glittering with something that she hadn’t seen before, or perhaps she had seen but never understood. But now, with her hand enclosed in his, his thumb circling the back of her palm, with him leaning so close to her, she understood – she knew what he yearned for, she knew what she yearned for. She had replayed their hug several times in her mind, but had not thought of how she had felt at that moment. Now as she looked at his face, his broad shoulders, the slight view of his chest granted by the open shirt buttons, she knew that she had felt safe, secure, happy and there was something else… she had… she had wanted more.
She recalled his demands for kiss, and felt he face flush. Was it wrong to want like this? She couldn’t feel it to be wrong; their hug definitely hadn’t felt wrong. But then… if it wasn’t wrong why had Chachaji warned them? Why had he specifically mentioned that they should stay in their limits? And who decided these limits? Was she breaking Chachaji’s trust by being so close to Sameer? The demands of her heart and body were clouded with the doubts in her mind.
Sameer saw her changing expressions, the softness and desire in her eyes, being replaced by questions, and pulled back. He didn’t leave her hand, but put some distance between them. He understood her morals and values, yet at the same time couldn’t help but feel frustrated at the thought that she didn’t trust him. He tried to cheer himself up, thinking that the hug was a breakthrough. It had meant that she trusted him to be close to her. But if it was like that then why so many questions now? “Wapas chale?”, he offered.
She nodded, oblivious to his mood, and they started pedaling back. As they neared the banks, she looked at him, and her brows furrowed when she saw the strained expression on his face. She gently asked, “tum thik ho?”
He glanced at her and nodded, “haan. Bas thak gaya hun.”
She found it odd that he would be tired so soon, and wanted to ask more. But they were soon surrounded by their friends who kept asking how was their ride. Preeti even tried to tease her, “kya baat hai? Tu toh pehle din se hi jijaji ke saath akele ghumne me busy hai. Mt. Abu me bhi aise hi kiya tha kya?”
Naina smiled, recalling their Mt. Abu boat ride, the glow on his face, his carefree laughter. She didn’t know if he had loved her then or not, but she knew that it was for the first time that she had seen him enjoy so much. She looked around to find him missing, and worriedly asked, “Sameer kahan gaya?”
Munna also looked around, “pata nahi. Abhi abhi toh yahin tha.”
Pandit folded his arms, “tumne jhagda toh nahi kar liya wapas hamare dost se?”
Naina was indignant, “bilkul nahi. Jhagda kyun karu? Main toh bas… kuch soch rahi thi, aur woh gayab ho gaya. Please dhundo na usko… pata nahi kya hua… kuch yaad aa gaya kya…”
Preeti frowned, “Naina kya badbada rahi hai? Kya yaad aa gaya.”
“Kuch nahi”, Naina shook her head, “tum log ruko… main dekhti hun.”
She left before any of them could object, and started looking for him. How could he leave like this? At least he should tell her. Or had he said something but she was so lost in thoughts that she hadn’t listened. She reprimanded herself mentally, ‘tu bhi na Naina. Pata nahi kya kya sochti rehti hai. Chachaji ne jo bhi kaha woh sab abhi sochne ki kya zarurat thi? Sameer ke saath kuch achche pal bita rahi thi, ab woh naraaz ho gaya na.‘
Suddenly her hand was caught, and she turned to find Sameer staring at her with a confused expression. “Kahan jaa rahi ho?”, he asked.
She sighed in relief, immediately clutching onto his arm, “tum kahan chale gaye the? Pata hai main kitni ghabra gai thi… aise koi bina bataye jaata hai kya? Itni si baat samajh nahi aati kya…” She trailed off as he placed a finger on her lips.
He frowned, “kya bole jaa rahi ho kabse? Main toh bas boats ke paise dene gaya tha. Aur tumhare saath baki sab toh the na.”
She moved his finger away from her lips, “tum toh nahi the na?”
He smirked, “mere saath rehna chahti ho? Toh fir lake pe itna kya soch rahi thi…”
Naina looked away from him, “woh toh main… Chachaji…”
“Jaanta hun”, he interrupted, with a sigh, “chalo chalte hai. Kuch kha lete hai, fir main tumhe school le chalta hun.”
They went back to their friends, and together they scouted the lakeside for a good restaurant that Sameer remembered. The restaurant was small, but had an astounding amount of food items on offer, making it difficult for all of them to choose. Finally they zeroed in on some momos and noodles. Naina sat beside Sameer, but could somehow sense that he was disturbed by something. Plus the way he had interrupted when she had talked about Chachaji… what had that meant?
After lunch, the others decided to do some shopping, while Sameer said that he was taking Naina along with him, and they would be back by 5pm. There was a line of cycle rickshaws standing next to the lake, and Sameer hailed one, negotiated some fare with him and then asked Naina to sit.
“Ispe?”, she asked incredulous.
His brows raised, “haan, ispe. Kyun?”
She bit her lip nervously, “main kabhi bethi nahi hun.”
Sameer slapped his forehead, remembering that she had never been out of Ahmedabad before, apart from her own village and Mt. Abu, and of course once to Delhi. She had never ridden on a cycle rickshaw before. He took her hand, “kuch nahi hoga. Cycle pe bethne jaisa hi hai. Main help karta hun.”
She nodded, and climbed up gingerly, keeping a firm grip on his hand. He passed on their sweaters which they had taken from the bag that they had carried, to keep everyone’s sweater and anything they bought from the market. Then he climbed up beside her, feeling pleased when she picked up the sweaters on her lap allowing him to scoot closer. As the cycle rickshaw climbed up a path steadily, she looked back to see the glistening lake and the small flittering shadows that were people on the lakeside.
In around twenty minutes they reached a big compound with wrought iron gates, and a security guard stood beside it. Sameer helped her down, then asked the rickshawwala to wait for them. He talked briefly to the security guard, and signed a visitor book, and then took a deep breath looking up at the iron gates that had always felt like prison to him. His heart thudded, and he felt as if he had to force himself to step inside. Closing his eyes he urged himself to go in, telling himself that it wasn’t like other times when he couldn’t step back out again, he wasn’t going to be locked for a year… this was different… just a visit… nothing painful. Oh God. This wasn’t working…
Just when he was on the verge of chickening out, he felt a soft warm hand slid through his, linking their fingers. A soft voice sounded just beside him, “chalo. Main hun saath me.”
He opened his eyes and looked at her. Gathering courage, he nodded and together they stepped inside. Side by side they walked on the narrow paved path, flanked by lawns on both side, the memories of each path coming naturally to him.
He pointed to right side, “uss taraf hostel hai. Aur aage sidhe school hai.”
She nodded, “abhi toh school chalu hoga na. Hume andar jaane denge?”
“Kabhi kabhi kuch tourists aate the dekhne. Nainital ka sabse bada school jo hai”, he explained, “aur kabhi kabhi toh parents apne bachcho ke admission ka puchke jaate the.” He gave a sarcastic chuckle, “main hamesha sochta tha ke vacation pe aake kyun apne bachche ki zindagi bigad rahe hai.”
She squeezed his hand, as if telling him that she understood. But could she? How could she know what he had felt? They reached the cream colored structure that Sameer said was his school. It was too quiet. Naina looked around the empty courtyard, so clean that there wasn’t even a leaf on the tiled floor. The trees surrounding it looked deceptive… how can there be so many trees but not a single leaf? There wasn’t even a pile of dry leaves indicating that the floor had been swept recently. She remembered her own school, the courtyard covered in leaves that rustled in the wind or crunched under their shoes when they played. That was real… wasn’t it? This felt artificial. She peeked into a classroom, and saw students dressed in smart navy blazers, listening attentively to the teacher who was himself dressed in suit. Again she thought back to how even the principal in her school had never worn a three-piece suit. A teacher walked by, dressed in an expensive silk saree with a button down cashmere sweater, and the image of Shanti teacher popped in her mind who would come dressed in simple cotton sarees.
The silence was unnatural; it didn’t seem that there were hundreds of students sitting inside this building. She saw Sameer peeking into another classroom, and she too looked inside to find it empty. He stepped inside, followed by her, “yeh mera last classroom tha… main Ahmedabad aaya usse pehle.”
She looked at the desks, all arranged perfectly, and softly asked, “tum kahan bethte the?”
He pointed to the row near the windows, “wahan … Fifth bench pe.”
Naina walked to the desk he had pointed, her fingertips trailing on the smooth wood, and then slowly she slid on the seat. “Garden dikh raha hai yahan se”, she smiled and patted the place next to her, indicating him to sit.
Reluctantly he sat next to her, “mujhe zyada der yahan nahi rukna.”
She nodded, “bas paanch minute.”
He didn’t know why she wanted to sit there, but he didn’t ask, and neither did she ask any more questions. Five minutes later, they started walking outside, but bumped into a man at the main gate.
“Sameer”, the main said astonished, “what are you doing here?”
Sameer stilled beside her, then slowly answered, “Good Afternoon sir. Main Nainital ghumne aaya tha, toh school dekhne chala aaya.”
The man indicated towards Naina, “aur yeh kaun hai?”
“Meri dost”, Sameer replied, then turned to her, “Naina, yeh iss school ke principal hai.”
The man who had forced Sameer to leave, thought Naina, looking at the man dressed in white robes like she had seen fathers wear in church. She smiled politely, “good afternoon sir.”
The principal glanced from her to Sameer and back, then scoffed, “your father was right. He came to meet me. Bata rahe the ke kaise tum ab tak sudhre nahi ho. Lagta hai apne Nanaji ke paas rehke bhi kuch discipline nahi sikha tumne… aise ladki ke saath Nainital ghumne aa gaye.”
Sameer trembled, his hands fisting as anger coursed through his body. Naina realized that the matter might soon get out of hands, so she placed her hand lightly on his arm, then addressed the principal, “we are sorry sir, agar humne school ke routine ko interrupt kiya ho toh. Hum log hamare college se trip pe aaye hai, lekin mujhe Sameer ka school dekhna tha isiliye hum yahan aaye. Aur… shayad aapko pata nahi par Sameer ke nanaji ab iss duniya me nahi rahe.”
The principal looked shocked, and quickly murmured a prayer, then mumbled, “Mr. Somani didn’t tell me…”
Naina interrupted, “we will take your leave sir. Sameer… chale?”
Sameer nodded, and she walked out with him. He didn’t know where she was taking him, and the tears in his eyes made it difficult for him to see. She followed the path that he had said would lead to hostel, and soon found a small enclosure with couple of benches placed in a circle. Maybe it was for students who would sit and study here or talk. She made him sit on a bench, and sat next to him. For a minute she looked at him observing how valiantly he tried to control his tears, and then just pulled him in her arms.
He shuddered for a moment, before wrapping his arms around her, holding her tight, and sobbing. She held him, stroked his back, tears flowing down from her own eyes too. Finally, after nearly ten minutes when his sobs subsided, she pulled back, “bas karo. Aur mat rona. Main jaanti hun tumhari yahan aaneki ichcha nahi thi… I am sorry. Main tumhe yahan le aai… aur yeh sab…”
He wiped his tears, “tumko yahan kyun aana tha? Kya wajah thi? Tum nahi jaanti mujhe yahan kitni ghutan hoti hai… har saal… main chahu ya naa chahu, mujhe yahan aana padta tha. Sabse dur… koi nahi hota tha mere saath. Main pareshan hou, ya khush… bimar padu ya competition jeetu… hamesha akela.”
She cupped his face, “jaanti hun. Samajhthi hun. Lekin abhi tum akele nahi ho. Main hun tumhare saath.”
He looked away from her, “tumko kaise samajh aayega ke main kaisa feel karta tha…”
She shrugged, a brief sad smile curving her lips, “shayad waisa hi jaisa main feel karti thi jab mere papa mere saamne hoke bhi saath nahi hote the… main pareshan hou ya khush… bimar padu ya competition jeetu… unko koi farq nahi padta tha. Chacha-chachi, preeti sab saath hote then fir bhi main sochti thi ke adhura sa lag raha hai, kyunki papa nahi hote the.”
He stared at her, wondering how he had not realized that she had also spent a similar childhood. She continued, “par pata hai… jabse tum mile ho tabse aisa lagta hai ke ab kuch kami nahi rahi. Maine socha ke shayad yahan mere saath aake tumhe bhi aisa lage… bachpan ki kharab yaadein shayad mit jaaye. Par maine tumhe aur dukh de diya. I am sorry.”
He thought about what she said, looked around at where he was sitting. This was the place where he would come down at nights, when he felt just too overwhelmed in hostel. He had cried himself to sleep so often here when he was a kid, but there had been no one to console him or hug him. When he had grown up, he still used to come here at nights, and spend time staring at the moon, falling asleep on the hard bench, his pain and sorrow coming out in form of quickly blinked tears or a small poetry. Today also, when he had needed to cry and vent, he was here on the same bench, but… today he was not alone. Naina was there… She had not only stood up for him in-front of his principal, but had also given him the solace of her arms, her warmth when he had cried. As he looked up at the orange and purple streaks in the sky, indicating the sun beginning to set somewhere on the horizon, he realized that Naina was right… He was not alone anymore. He had her.
A smile bloomed on his face, and he looked at her, his heart beating in slow, steady rhythm. He lifted his hands and wiped the tears from her face, “sahi kaha tha tumne. Bahot farq hai pehle me aur abhi me. Thank you… mujhe yahan laane ke liye.”
He wanted to pull her back in his arms, but a doubt lingered in his mind, and also he was aware of the fact that this might not be the proper place to talk about it. He checked his watch, “Naina, wapas chalte hai. Yahan aur nahi rukna aaj, lake ke wahan bethenge.”
They left from there, his heart much lighter than before. Naina glanced at the small smile on his face, and felt happy that he was okay. They found their friends in one of the restaurants sipping cups of hot coffee. Sameer bought two cups too, and offered one to Naina. She smiled, “coffee pike kuch shopping karne chale. Mujhe thode candles lene hai.
Kamya and Hema wanted to go the other way to get some dresses, so they parted ways. As the group sauntered up the path beside the lake, Sameer kept looking at the roadside stalls wondering what to buy for Naina. He wanted to buy some pretty earrings. He turned thinking to ask her if she liked wearing long earrings, when suddenly her hand brushed against his. He bit his lip wondering whether she would mind if he held her hand for some time. It would feel good to walk that way, he thought.
Naina was busy in chattering with Preeti, he looked down at her slightly swinging hand, and slowly gathered courage to inch closer. A fraction of an inch remained… he took a deep breath… and suddenly he jerked as Munna shrieked.
“Hey bhagwaan!”, Munna exclaimed.
Pandit also joined him, “gazab ho gaya, ajab ho gaya.”
Sameer, Naina and Preeti looked on perplexed. “Kya hua?”, Preeti asked frowning.
“Haan, yeh aise chilla kyun rahe ho?”, Sameer added.
Munna pointed to a red painted structure, “woh dekho… aaj tak toh hum ise Naina devi bulate the. Yahan ke logo ne toh iska mandir bhi sthaapit kar diya.”
All of them stared at the red temple gate which had yellow inscription of “Shree Maa Naina Devi Mandir.”
Pandit clucked his tongue, and pumped his fists, “chal bhai… aaj tak mazak me devi bulate the, par ab se toh roz naare lagane padenge – Shree Maa Naina Devi ki Jay.”
Naina narrowed her eyes, “tum dono ki toh…”
Munna and Pandit ran around the empty street, with Naina in hot pursuit while Sameer and Preeti doubled over in laughter. Heaving and panting for breath, the boys held their ears in apology, and Naina giggled clutching the stich in her stomach.
Sameer and Preeti caught up to them, and he asked, “ho gaya tum logo ka?”
Pandit chuckled, “haan bhai. Aaj ke liye itni pitai kaafi hai.”
Sameer looked at Naina, “umm… suno… tum lambe wale earrings pehnogi? Main dikhata hun tumhe.”
She smiled and nodded, “thike chalo. Preeti tu chal inn dono ke saath, main bus me milti hun.”
As Munna, Pandit and Preeti left from there, Sameer turned to her confused, “mera matlab aisa nahi tha ke hum akele chale.”
She held his hand, “mujhe pata hai. Chalo ab… earrings dikhao.”
He looked down at their joined hands as they walked. Wow. He was just thinking if he should do it or not, and she really did it. They reached a small shop, and spent some time choosing earring for Naina, the whole process exciting Sameer as he made her try on several pairs. Finally, they chose two pairs and Sameer paid for them.
She held his hand again when the exited the shop, “Sameer… kahin baat kar sakte hai. Thoda akele me ho toh…”
Sameer wondered what was up, but nodded, “thike. Chalo mere saath.”
He took her down an alley, to a small church tucked in the corner, hidden from view of the main street. Naina looked at the quaint old structure and thought that it was so well hidden, that it wasn’t a surprise that tourists didn’t visit here. The main gate was closed, but Sameer knew of a small side gate that was always left open, and he took her inside.
“Wow”, she exclaimed, “tumhe itna sab pata hai yahan ke baare me. Main toh puri zindagi Ahmedabad me rehne ke baavjud itna nahi jaanti wahan ke baare me.”
He chuckled, “udhar ek bench hai, wahan bethte hai.”
They sat down, but Naina was quiet for a long time, wondering how to ask. Sameer couldn’t stand the silence anymore and asked, “Naina, kya baat hai?”
She bit her lip, hesitating for a moment, and then asked, “mujhse koi galti hui hai kya?”
He frowned, confused about what she was asking, “matlab?”
She took a deep breath, “pata nahi… subah sab thik tha… par fir lake pe boating karne gaye uske baad… samajh nahi aa raha… aisa lag raha hai ke tum dur reh rahe ho mujhse. College me toh hamesha haath pakadne ki koshish karte the, aur hug maangte the… ab yahan jab hum kal… mera matlab…”
He sighed, understanding that she had caught on to his mood. How could she not? Hadn’t she always been attuned to how he felt and thought? He picked her hand gently, linking their fingers, “main dur nahi jaa raha Naina… jaa hi nahi sakta. Par mujhe aisa laga ke tumhare man me koi doubt hai. Main jaanta hun ke tumhe mujhpe bharosa hai, isiliye tumne mujhe apne itne kareeb aane diya kal. Par sach sach bolo… Chachaji ki baate yaad karke tumhe aisa laga na ke tumne galat kiya?”
Naina was surprised at his thoughts. How could he think that she felt they had done something wrong? What had she done to make him feel that way? She shook her head vehemently, “nahi… bilkul nahi…”
“Naina”, he interrupted, “jhuth mat bolo… tum lake pe boating karte waqt yahi soch rahi thi.”
She stood up, fidgeting with her dupatta, feeling a little chilly now that it was almost dark. Moving a few steps away, she gathered courage and spelled what had been bothering her, “main sach bol rahi hun. Maine aisa bilkul nahi socha ke humne kuch galat kiya… balki main toh… mera matlab hai ke main chahti thi tumko hug karna. Par aaj jab boat pe tum itne kareeb aaye… main samajh nahi paa rahi thi ke mujhe kya ho raha hai. Aur fir chachaji ki baate yaad aa gai… main soch rahi thi ke unhone jab hume hadd banaye rakhne ko kaha tab unke man me kya chal raha tha… hadd hai kya? Hum kareeb aaye… aur mujhe woh galat nahi laga. Toh iska matlab kya hai? Main chachaji ka bharosa nahi todna chahti, aur main jaanti hun ke tum bhi kabhi aisa kuch nahi karoge, par hume pata kaise chalega ke woh hadd hai kya…”
Sameer sat silent for some time, staring at her in astonishment. So this was what had bothered her? She hadn’t felt wrong with their proximity, but had wondered if she had broken the trust that was placed on them by chachaji. He stood up and went to her, “Naina… humne chachaji ka bharosa nahi toda hai. Dekho, har couples alag hote hai. Maana kuch hadd samaj ke hote hai, par rishte me hadd woh log tay karte hai jo iss rishte me bandhe hote hai. Hum jab school me the, tab aise haath pakadna bhi toh tumhare hadd me nahi tha na? Par ab dekho… tum market me bhi befikar hoke mera haath pakadti ho.” He paused, stringing words together to try and explain to her, “pyaar me… kuch padav aate hai jiske baad rishta aage badhta hai… pehle baate karna, ek dusre ko samajhna, fir haath pakadna, aur fir shayad hug aur kiss… lekin koi rules nahi hai. Humko teen saal lag gaye hug karne me, kuch couples shayad pehle din hi hug karle, aur kuch shaadi ke baad.”
She looked surprised, “pehle din…!!?? Aise kaise…”
He smiled, “wahi toh keh raha hun. Koi rules nahi hai ke itne din baad aisa karna hai ya aisa nahi karna. Hamare rishte ke dayre hum dono pe depend karta hai.” Taking a step towards her, he gently cupped her face, “main kabhi tumhara bharosa ya chachaji ka bharosa nahi todunga. Main jaanta hun ke college me main tumse hug aur kiss mangta tha… lekin iska matlab yeh nahi hai ke agar tum nahi chahti toh bhi yeh sab karo. Zaruri yeh nahi hai ke main kya chahta hun, ya tum kya chahti ho… zaruri yeh hai ke hum dono kya chahte hai.”
She nodded, tears brimming in her eyes, as she thought how easily he had explained to her, solved her confusion. Suddenly a mischievous sparkle entered his eyes, “aur waise bhi… tum ghar jaake thodi na kahogi ke chachaji maine Sameer ko hug kiya. Kya yeh aapki hadd me hai?”
She gasped, hitting his arm, as he chuckled. He caught her hand, to stop her from hitting him, and his eyes softened, as he softly assured, “aage se man me aisa kuch bhi chal raha ho toh turant bata dena. Meri bhi galti hai ke tumse puche bina hi soch liya ke tumhe achcha nahi laga. I am sorry… aur haan, ek aur baat… aaj pehli baar yahan Nainital me mere saath koi tha jisne mujhe sambhala, aur jab main roya toh mujhe gale lagaya. Sach kahu toh… aisa laga jaise… woh har ek pal jab main akele rota tha, woh sab bhul gaya aaj. Tumhari wajah se…”
Naina smiled, her lashes wet from the unshed tears, and she flung her arms around him, “I love you Sameer.” He dragged in a deep breath, filling his lungs with the fresh clean winter air, and her fragrance, as he wrapped his arms around her, giving her the warmth that she had missed from her childhood. “I love you too Naina”, he whispered, “aur hamesha karunga… forever.”