Love Me Tonight
Chapter 11: Talk From Heart

A rumbling in her stomach woke her up and she blinked trying to check the time… 9am… She rubbed her face on his t-shirt, smiling a bit on feeling his arms still around her, holding just as tight as when they were awake. It felt amazing to accept, at least to herself that she loved him, to stop fighting the emotions in her heart… It seemed as if a weight had lifted off her… There were still too many unanswered questions, and definitely many apprehensions – the biggest of which was that she was ready to marry him, but she still wasn’t ready fully to be his wife. How she would tell this to him, she had no idea… But for now there was a more pressing matter.

She shook him, “Sameer utho na…” He hummed, moving his head, frowning once before his eyes fluttered open. “Utho”, she repeated, tugging on the collar of his t-shirt.

He glanced down at her, a smile curving his lips on seeing her in his arms, “Naina… kya hua?”

She pouted, “I am hungry… Bahot bhuk lagi hai… Neend bhi khul gai gud-gud se…”

His brows furrowed, “what’s gud-gud?”

She clucked her tongue, “aree woh pet me hota hai na… bhuk lagti hai tab.”

He chuckled as he realized that she was terming the rumbling in her stomach as ‘gud-gud’, and said, “chalo… brush karlo… main breakfast banata hun…”

She sat up slowly, “tumhari meeting kab hai?”

“12:30”, he informed, “main 11:30 tak nikal jaunga aur try karunga ke jaldi wapas aa jau…”

She thought for a second, “umm… tum chai bitha do aur thode aloo, tamatar chop kar do… pehle hum chai-biscuit kha lete hai… Phir main puri-sabji bana dungi… brunch jaisa ho jayega… Warna abhi sandwich ya poha khayenge toh lunch bahot late hoga phir… Aur tumhe office jaana hai toh pet bhi bhara hua rahega tumhara.”

He was stunned at her concern having not experienced it before and stared at her for some time before agreeing with the idea. As he made tea and took out biscuits on a dish, he wondered what more changes he would see in Naina from now onwards. He also had to talk to her about the marriage… A lot of things like how she would like to get married, the timing, the guests, any wishes she had. Given the situation and the way she had cut off everyone from her life, he didn’t have much expectation of celebration, and honestly he didn’t need it. He would be happy even if she demanded a simple court marriage… Maybe the evening would be a good time to talk about these things…

Later, after tea, she cooked in the kitchen while he took bath and dressed up. She had already called up at the library… He checked-in with Aman to ensure that no urgent meetings were fixed. He wanted to be back home early today for sure… And he would also have to pay a visit or at least talk to bua-dadi today, though he still wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell her about Naina agreeing to marry him… He didn’t want to jinx it in any way.

As he sauntered out of the bathroom in his half-buttoned blue shirt, Naina paused in her work, her eyes fixed on him. He looked so happy this morning… If the whistling was anything to go by he was surely in a jovial mood. When she had agreed to the wedding this morning, she hadn’t anticipated the way his entire being would be filled with joy. It also made her think what all planning he had already done… She wished he wouldn’t have any plans of a grand wedding. He was a businessman, it was natural for him to have many associates and friends who could be invited, but she didn’t want that. At the same time, she also didn’t want to hurt him any more… She watched him rummage in his bag for few minutes and pull out a tie and handkerchief. Her eyes closed as she recalled how she had told him there was no space for his clothes in her cupboard or on her shelves. Well… She didn’t own a cupboard, but the wooden shelf she had definitely had some space… But still she hadn’t let him use it… In fact every morning he dressed up in bathroom, not even using her bedroom space for any of his personal need.

He turned around, knotting his tie and spotted her staring… Walking over to her, he snapped his fingers, “hey… kya dekh rahi ho?”

She smiled, shaking her head, “kuch nahi… uh… I mean… Blue color achcha lagta hai tumpe…”

His eyes sparkled, “really? Thanks!” In his mind he thought to get more blue shirts and t-shirts if she liked seeing him in this color.

“Uss din bhi blue shirt pehni thi tumne”, she reminisced, “jis din club me mile the.”

He looked down at himself, extremely surprised… He had worn blue that day? But… Sakshi hated blue color… Then why would he… Had he never even cared about her likes and dislikes? He tried to recall her favorite food, but could only remember the times she had chosen outrageously expensive places to eat in. He tried to recall if they had talked about their favorite movies, places to visit, hobbies or even family… But there was no recollection… It was just nada… Even he had never felt the need to share anything with her, while in-front of Naina he just poured his heart out. The dislike of blue color was also accidental; on one of their dinners some acquaintance of hers had suddenly come up to their table to greet her, and after the girl had left Sakshi had scorned about her aqua dress stating that she hated every shade of blue. And still… he had never even given a second thought to this, and worn blue shirt that day he proposed her… What an absolute idiot he was to even think that Sakshi had truly mattered… What a dunce to have spent so much to buy that ring to propose her… But all in all, maybe all that money was worth it because his supposed heartbreak had ultimately led him to meet Naina, the girl he was truly and madly in love with.

Her voice broke in his thoughts, “ab tum kya sochne lage?”

Without a thought he blurted, “Sakshi ke baare me…” She gasped, her eyes immediately clouding with disappointment. He blinked, quickly cupping her face, “it’s not that… main bas soch raha tha I was such a fool to even propose her… Dekho na… The only thing that I knew about her was that she hated blue color, but still I wore that color on the day I went to propose her… Naa mujhe uske choices pata thi, aur naa hi uske pasand-napasand ki parvah thi… She just never mattered…”

She frowned, “tum ek saal uske saath relationship me the… serious enough to propose… aur ab bol rahe ho she never mattered…”

He rolled his eyes, “yes… one year… the whole time of which she was sleeping around with other men too… so excuse me, if I don’t have anything good to say about her.”

Somewhere in her mind she noticed how he switched to English completely in a split second… But upon hearing his words, her eyes rounded in shock, and she squeaked, “kya…?”

He nodded, “I know maine kabhi tumhe bataya nahi… actually we never talked about it… Sakshi se main aise hi ek din kisi club party me mila tha… It started with a casual night, but then I bumped into her again after few weeks. Aur dheere-dheere we started spending time together… Nothing romantic… Just some dinner and sex… But it was steady… Toh mujhe lagne laga ke shayad koi hai jisko mujhme genuine interest hai… Isiliye socha uske birthday pe usko propose karunga… I got the ring, started to dream.” He sighed, “what I didn’t know was that she was just interested in sex… And the second meeting few weeks after that first night wasn’t an accident… She actually followed me because she got to know who I am exactly… My money and position lured her. But that’s all she wanted… Mujhe toh uss din yeh sab pata chala jab woh mere proposal pe hasi aur yeh sab bataya mujhe… She told me I am fool to think that I was the only one in her life. Apparently mera busy schedule aur foreign trips kaafi valid excuse tha for her to sleep around…” She kept staring at him, eyes wide with shock. He looked into her eyes, telling her with utmost sincerity, “I felt like a discarded trash that day… I started to feel disgusted of myself… Agar uss din tum mujhe nahi mili hoti Naina toh shayad main sharab ke andhere me kho jaata ya toh drunk drive karke mar jaata.”

She immediately placed her palm over his mouth, “shsh… marne ki baat mat karo…”

His gaze softened, he removed her hand from his mouth and kissed the inside of her palm, “thank you… you saved me that day in more ways than one…”

She wanted to ask what he meant, but a glance at the clock confirmed that if they talked more he would be late, and also she needed time to process this new information she had landed upon about him. There were other questions as well; a lot of them; all except one – She didn’t feel the need to ask him if he had stayed honest to Sakshi in that one year, the hatred in his voice when he mentioned about her sleeping around while in a relationship with him was enough for to let her know that he never cheated. This was something new… Before this she had never tried to read in between the lines, or infer the meaning behind his words; in-fact most of the time she hadn’t even trusted his words… Since the time she had tried to be open about their relationship upon Dr. Suchitra’s advice, she had tried to believe his words, but this new change came automatically and instinctively, and she didn’t question it. Maybe it was all a part of being in relationship…

“Chalo chodo yeh baate”, she smiled, “khana kha lete hai… bahot bhuk lag rahi hai…”

He helped her carry the food out to the living room, and they sat to eat. He moaned at the taste, “wow… kitne dino baad puri kha raha hun… yummy bane hai ekdum.”

She felt elated at his appreciation, and at the same time wondered how he could be so delighted at such simple meals. Watching him eat, the way he literally devoured the food she served, somehow gave her peace… He kept the dishes in the sink, and then washed his hands, “kuch laana hai shaam ke liye?”

She thought for a minute, “thoda kuch mithai le aaoge… bahot man ho raha hai…”

“Of course”, he smiled, “kya pasand hai tumhe?”

“Dry fruits wali mithai ke alawa kuch bhi…”, she promptly responded.

He chuckled, “mujhe toh laga marwadi logo ko dry fruits wali mithai ke alawa aur kuch pasand nahi.”

She stuck her tongue out at his teasing, “bhulo mat… tum bhi marwadi ho.”

“I know”, he shrugged, “par meri pasand ki mithai kabhi kisine kharidi nahi…”

She frowned, “aisa kaise ho sakta hai…? Gharwale…”

He interrupted, “main already bata chuka hun tumko mere gharwalo ke baare me…”

She bit her lip, and then asked, “toh… kheer aur gajar ka halwa ke alawa aur konsi mithai pasand hai tumhe?”

His eyes widened for a moment at the fact that she remembered, and then he grinned, “rasmalai, sonpapdi, gulab-jamun, jalebi aur boondi ke laddoo.”

She chuckled, “I see… matlab barfi me se kuch nahi pasand… ummm… rasmalai ya sonpapdi mile toh le aana… mujhe bhi bahot pasand hai… actually jalebi bhi achchi lagti hai par ekdum garam garam.”

“Yes madam”, he nodded, “sabji me kuch?”

She shook her head, “nahi… filhaal aur kuch nahi chahiye.”

Once he left, she looked around the place to check if anything needed to be done, but these days no work was left for her. The spick-and-span floor, the folded sheets, the neatly arranged cushions, almost everything in her home made her realize how much work he did. The SJM, who was practically unreachable for many, cleaned and cooked at her home, and was waiting to get married to her. She almost felt like pinching herself to make sure it wasn’t a dream… But no, this truly wasn’t a dream, she knew it… It was a figment of her earlier dreams, but still, there was a lot of difference to her reality. However, given that she had said yes to marry him, there was one thing she needed to know to ensure that this dream wouldn’t shatter.

She had kept asking Sameer by what time he would be back, and had been relieved when he said around 4-5pm. After cleaning the few dishes from their brunch, she dressed up in cotton pants and a loose floral top, something she used to wear in office earlier. She eyed the two pairs of jeans on her shelf that she had packed before leaving bua-dadi’s home, but once she had gotten to know about her pregnancy, she had ditched jeans completely because she had read in some magazine that she shouldn’t wear clothes that are tight on her belly. Walking down to the PCO she made a call, and then hailed a cab to travel.

It took her one hour to reach Club Vortex, the sprawling parking lot reminding her of how she had stopped Sameer from driving. That day she had thought she was coming to a simple birthday party and would be home before midnight… However things had taken a drastic turn in her life. She remembered how she had placed her hand over his to stop him from opening the car door, the moment when she had realized that everything she had ever felt for Sameer was not infatuation or attraction, but rather that deep-rooted feeling of love that had just been dormant after they had left school, but had only taken one touch of his hand to rise back in full force. The memory still raised goosebumps on her skin…

“Naina”, a familiar voice broke in her thoughts.

She turned around, a small smile curving her lips at the sight of the man walking across the parking lot towards her, “Suraj…”

He stood before her, smiling wide, “what a surprise Naina! Itne dino baad achanak… I wasn’t expecting your call at all.”

“I know”, she sighed, “umm… mujhe tumse kuch zaroori baat karni hai.”

He nodded, “of course… cabin me chalte hai.”

She hesitated, “uh… if you don’t mind… club ke andar naa jaake kahin aur chale? I mean… paas me jo coffee shop hai wahan pe maybe…”

He agreed, “haan kyun nahi… main car nikalta hun…”

“We can walk”, she piped up.

He frowned, “tum itna chal paogi?”

She glanced at him in surprise, “kya matlab?”

“Uhh…”, he fumbled, realizing he had been about to blurt his knowledge of her pregnancy, “mera matlab… umm… tumhe zyada chalna pasand nahi tha na college me… sports day me participate nahi karti thi bilkul…”

She chuckled, “sports aur walk me farq hota hai Suraj… Chale?”

He nodded, “haan…”

It took them ten minutes to walk to the coffee shop, and by that time she already felt tired and had started sweating. Suraj was concerned, “are you okay? Paani lau? Kuch khana hai…?”

She couldn’t understand why he was so worried, “relax… I am fine… aur coffee shop me aaye hai toh kuch order toh karenge hi na.” Taking out some tissues from her purse, she wiped her face. A waitress came to take the order; at first she was about to order her favorite coffee, but a quick recollection of caffeine check during pregnancy made her order fresh juice instead, and a piece of chocolate cake.

While waiting for their order, Suraj asked, “how are you?”

“Fine”, she smiled, “tum kaise ho? Aur ghar pe sab?”

“Sab theek hai”, he replied, “tumne aise achanak milneka kyun bola? Matlab… pehle toh kabhi aise phone karke nahi aai tum… In fact birthday party pe aaneke liye bhi convince karna pada tha.”

The waitress placed their order on the table, wished them to enjoy and left. Naina gratefully sipped some of the cold juice, then picked up the small spoon, digging into the soft chocolate cake. She tried to pretend to be completely nonchalant as she asked, “SJM ko jaante ho?”

Suraj paused for the briefest moment in the motion of lifting his cup, but then smiled and took a sip of his hot coffee, “SJM ko kaun nahi jaanta? Itna successful businessman hai…”

She understood that evasive tactics was not going to work here, and so she directly questioned, “personally jaante ho?”

He took a moment to sip and appreciate his coffee, “hmm… jaanta hun… par shayad tumse kam… right?”

Her hand trembled and she put the spoon down, “kya bataya tumne usko mere baare me?”

He sighed, “tum yeh Sameer se kyun nahi puchti? Mujhse kyun puch rahi ho?”

“Kyunki tum mere dost ho”, she responded.

He promptly asked, “aur Sameer?”

This time Naina waited for a moment, scooping some chocolate icing on her finger to lick it, “Sameer mere saath reh raha hai… Isiliye mera janna zaroori hai ke tumne use kya bataya.”

His eyes narrowed, because he knew she wasn’t telling him everything, and so he casually commented, “I didn’t know you were in a relationship with SJM… Kamsekam hume sach bata deti… Uss din club me toh keh rahi thi sirf ek purana classmate hai… Par dekhke aisa lag nahi raha tha… Aur phir tum uske saath chali gai.”

She snorted, looking down at the table, “relationship tha nahi… didn’t he tell you what happened that night? I guess… Woh isiliye tumhare paas aaya tha na… Mere baare me janne… Mujhe dhundne…”

He nodded, “haan… he told me… and he also told me how much he cares for you… usne mujhe yaqeen dilaya ke woh hamesha tumhare saath rehna chahta hai… tum uske liye special ho… Isiliye maine usko tumhare ghar ka address diya tha… Par tum wahan mili nahi usko…”

She dragged in a deep breath, “and how much did he pay you for that information?”

He looked shocked and it took him almost a minute to question, “what? Tumhe lagta hai maine paise ke badle me information di?”

Her mood switched instantly, anger flashing in her eyes, “are you going to deny? Maine message dekha tha Sameer ke mobile me… 10 lakhs… Yahi keemat lagai thi na tumne hamari dosti ki?”

“Dosti?” Suraj scoffed, “dosti hoti toh mujhse yeh sawaal nahi karti… Aur pyaar hota toh yeh doubts Sameer se clarify karti, usse chupke mere paas nahi aati.”

Her face paled, but she quickly gathered herself, “mere personal life pe tumhe comment karne ki zaroorat nahi hai…”

His mouth quirked in sarcasm, “of course… college se yahi sunte aa rahe hai… family ke baare me kuch nahi batana… Sagai tuti lekin kyun tuti, kaise tuti, kuch nahi batana… hum lagte kaun hai… Tum dosti nibha nahi rahi toh mujhse expectation kyun hai Naina? Agar paise liye bhi hai toh tumhe usse kya?”

She quipped, “isiliye main kisipe bharosa nahi karti… Sabko bas rishte ke naam pe apna matlab nikaalna aata hai… Tumne paiso ke liye meri information ek aadmi ko de di jo tumhare liye anjaan hai… Dost hote toh mujhe protect karte… Aur Sameer… Kehta hai mujhse pyaar karta hai lekin apne paise ke dum pe mere baare me information nikalwata hai…”

Suraj banged his cup on the table, and then looked around quickly to check if someone was overhearing. Keeping his voice low, he leaned forward and hissed, “bas ho gaya… bahot bakwaas sunli maine tumhari… maine kabhi nahi socha tha ke tumhari soch itni ghatiya hogi… And I was so wrong to say ke tum Sameer ko zyada jaanti ho… Now I really want to ask ke tum jaanti kya ho Sameer ke baare me?”

She also leaned forward, “kehna kya chahte ho? Yeh kahoge ke Sameer ne 10 lakh nahi diye the tumhe?”

“Diye the”, he accepted, “lekin tumhari information ke liye nahi, meri madad karne ke liye… Aur woh bhi sirf isiliye kyunki main tumhara dost hun. Tum jaanti ho jis din woh mujhse milne aaya tha kya hua tha? I was on the verge of losing my club… Mere dad ke liye hue loan ke wajah se mere Chachaji mujhse mera club cheen na chahte the… Uss din Sameer ne meri madad nahi ki hoti toh shayad aaj mere paas mera club nahi hota… And do you even have an idea ke woh tumhari kitni respect karta hai…? I was drinking that day… Lekin jaise hi maine apna 3^rd glass uthaya he stopped me… Usne kaha ke woh nahi chahta ke nashe ke haalat me main use tumhara address de du aur phir pachtau… He told me that you went with him and then left in morning, lekin phir bhi usne ek baar bhi kuch personal baate nahi batai… He made it clear ke woh tumhe dhund raha hai kyunki woh tumhe phir kabhi khona nahi chahta.”

Her heart skipped beats on hearing about this, her anger calming down and her voice held astonishment as she asked, “tum mere dost ho isiliye usne tumhe 10 lakh de diye? Itni badi rakam woh kaise de sakta hai… was it loan?”

Suraj sighed, “kind of… lekin woh mujhse paise wapas nahi le raha… He wanted to help me lekin ek businessman bhi hai woh… Itna bada amount aise hi nahi de sakta, so he found a way to help me. Usne mujhe sirf 1% interest pe yeh paise diye, aur return me mujhe kaha ke har mahine Ashray me donation deta rahu jab tak pura amount repay nahi ho jaata.”

She was puzzled, “Ashray? Yeh kya hai?”

“Koi charitable trust hai”, he replied, “Sameer ne khola hai… Shayad orphans ke liye… Main January se har month wahan donation dene wala hun…”

Naina bit her lip, tears clouding her eyes. She sniffed, wiping the corners of her eyes with a tissue, “thank you… tum nahi jaante kitna bada help kiya hai tumne mera… I really needed to know this.”

Suraj glanced away, “maybe… par phir bhi tumhe yeh sab Sameer se puchna chahiye tha.”

“I will talk to him”, she assured, “tum please use mat batana abhi ke main yahan aai thi… Main shaam ko baat karungi usse.”

He thought for a moment and then nodded, agreeing to her. After paying the bill, they started to walk back, each lost in their own thoughts. Suddenly, Naina held her head, starting to feel slightly dizzy. She reached out a hand to grab some support, and clutched Suraj’s sleeves. He looked at her, wondering why she was holding on, and gasped, “Naina… Oh God… Kya hua tumko?”

She blinked, “I am fine… thoda chakkar aa gaya bas… purse me paani hai…”

“Ek minute”, he supported her with one arm and quickly opened her purse finding the bottle, and uncapped it for her. She took a few sips, and sighed in relief, “thanks…”

He scanned her face in concern, “Naina… let me drop you home… ya Sameer ko phone karke bula lo… Aisi haalat me please akele travel mat karo.”

She looked at him doubtfully, “kaisi haalat me? Bolna kya chah rahe ho tum?”

He hesitated, but then slowly accepted, “mujhe pata hai tum pregnant ho… Kal hi Sameer ne bataya…”

She gasped in shock, “kya? Sam…Sameer ne… yeh… yeh baat…”

He hastily clarified, “Naina please… Phirse Sameer ko galat mat samajhna… Tumhe pata tha ke Sameer mujhse phone pe baat kar raha hai phir bhi tumne usse kuch nahi pucha isiliye woh bahot tension me aa gaya tha… That’s why he came to meet me… Aur tabhi mujhe pata chala ke usne tumhe dhund liya hai, aur yeh bhi… ke… tum pregnant ho…”

She closed her eyes, her face flushing in mortification. Suraj tried to keep his voice soothing, “hey… please don’t worry about it… Sameer ne bataya ke tum bahot khush ho apne baby ke baare me jaanke… Aur woh bhi bahot khush tha… Bahot excited tha about sonography… He loves you both a lot Naina… Give him a chance…”

She took a deep breath, “main… uh… I mean… main aur Sameer… We are getting married.”

He became instantly excited, “really! Wow… kab? Mujhe bualogi na apni shaadi me? Aur hamare baaki ke dost? Tumhari dadi-bua…”

“Suraj”, she interrupted, “please yeh baat kisiko mat batana… Main Sameer se shaadi kar rahi hun lekin I am not ready to share this with everyone. Aur ab tak humne bhi kuch baat nahi ki hai ke kab ya kaise karenge… So please…”

He patted her shoulder, “I understand… Don’t worry… Main kisise kuch nahi kahunga… Waise bhi agar maine tumhari baat kahin failai toh tumse pehle mujhe SJM se deal karna padega… And I don’t want it… Kal toh jaise mera haath pakda, I thought tod hi dega… And his anger… Baapre baap…”

She frowned, “Sameer ne tumse ladai ki?”

He shook his head, “nahi… jab usne tumhari pregnancy ki baat ki toh main panic kar gaya… uska collar pakadke bahot ulta-seedha bola… and I was about to punch him… Lekin usne mera haath pakad liya…”

She poked a finger on his chest, “how dare you? Tum hote kaun ho Sameer pe haath uthane wale? Kisne haq diya tumhe?”

“Calm down Jhansi ki rani”, he teased, “maine tumhare Sameer ko ek chotu sa punch bhi nahi maara… kaha na… he stopped me before I could… In fact usne jitni zor se mera haath pakda tha, meri ungliya ab tak dard kar rahi hai… Aur tum ho ke mujhe hi daant rahi ho…”

She huffed, crossing her arms, “don’t ever dare to hit him…”

“I won’t”, he assured, “tumhara Sameer tum jaano tumhe kya karna hai… Filhaal let me drop you home… Please…”

After a bit of thought, she agreed, “fine… lekin mujhe raaste se kuch sabji aur paneer lena hai.”

On their drive to her home, she didn’t ask any more questions about Sameer. The fear that she had in her heart had subdued. She had no idea though if she would ever be able explain it to Sameer… The incident in her past made her loath people who thought they could buy their way through anything if they were rich. She feared that Sameer had done the same thing… Though she knew and understood that given the amount of information he had found out about her, it was impossible not to have leveraged his status and money, but still… Cold hard dealing in exchange of private information would have broken her heart. It made her feel a lot of relief to know that Sameer hadn’t offered money to Suraj in exchange of her address, but rather it was his genuine attempt to help her friend and the way he asked repayment of that amount made the gesture pure.

She bought the things she needed, and then as Suraj dropped her in-front of her apartment, she was struck by the awkwardness of it. Should she invite him in? But how could she…? The place was so small… Sameer had adjusted, but what would Suraj think? But if she didn’t invite him in wouldn’t it look bad?

Suraj checked the board outside the building, “yahi jagah hai na?”

She jerked, “uh… haan… yahi hai… umm… tum…”

“Relax”, he said understanding her dilemma, “abhi tum jao… main phir kabhi aaunga milne… maybe after you talk to Sameer. And don’t worry, main kisiko nahi bataunga ke tum kaha rehti ho.”

She sighed, “thanks Suraj… And… I am sorry ke maine tumhe aisa sawaal pucha about the money… I just…”

He interrupted, “it’s okay… mujhe nahi pata tumhare man me kya chal raha hai. But please, share things at least with Sameer. Now that you are getting married, it is essential to talk… Lack of communication se bahot badi problems khadi ho sakti hai relationships me. I have experienced it…”

She nodded, “I will try… bye…”

He smiled at her, and waved as she got out. Naina stood there watching his car leave, and then juggled the grocery bag and her purse. Just as she was about to enter the apartment building, her eyes fell on the shop from where they would buy ice-creams during their night walk. Just beside that shop was a STD booth, she bit her lip, contemplating for a moment and then walked over. The shade inside provided her relief, keeping the bag down, she dialed a number her heart had memorized over the past few weeks.

“Hello”, a deep voice greeted.

She closed her eyes, her heart beating fast, “Sameer…”

He was surprised but it soon turned to concern, “Naina… tum… Kahan se call kar rahi ho? Kya hua? Tumhari tabiyat toh theek hai na? Kuch chahiye kya tumhe?”

She chuckled, “thoda break lagao Sameer… maine toh aise hi call kiya…”

That surprised him even more, and he sat back on his chair, “aisai? Umm… Wow.”

She smiled, “uh… actually main neeche cold-drink lene aai thi toh socha tumhe phone karu.”

“Cold drink”, he mused, “Naina… pregnancy me soda nahi peete na shayad?”

She grinned, “research kaafi ki hai tumne… main frooti piyungi… soda wala kuch nahi… okay?”

He hummed, “kuch khaya tumne aur?”

“Nahi”, she bit her lip at the lie, “bhuk lagi toh tomato sandwich bana lungi. Suno… Tumhari meeting ho gai? Sab theek hai na?”

He felt extremely pleased at her question, “haan… all good… ek achcha idea mila hai… abhi bas sab finalize kar rahe hai… Phir woh dusri company se baat karunga, then ghar…”

“That’s great”, she replied, “mithai mat bhulna… Aur thoda dahi bhi le aana… Kal kadhi bana dungi.”

It was such a homely feeling for her to ask him to get groceries that he couldn’t help the sensation of happiness bubble inside him. He agreed to bring the items she had asked, and then advised her go home as spending more time in heat was not good. She wished goodbye, and added, “sambhalke aana…”

It was 5:30pm by the time Sameer reached home… He wanted to return earlier but another urgent meeting held him back. Just before he could ring the bell, the door opened and there stood a smiling but heavily sweating Naina. He smiled on seeing her, but soon was concerned, “tumhe itna paseena kyun aa raha hai? Tabiyat toh theek hai na?”

She chuckled, “I am perfectly fine… andar toh aao.”

He stepped inside, toeing off his boots, and dumped his bag on the sofa. “Main khana bana rahi thi”, she informed, wiping her forehead with the sleeve of her long t-shirt. He removed his suit, “kyun? Roz toh hum saath me banate hai na…”

She nodded, “haan, par aaj mere paas time tha toh socha… umm…” A delicate blush tinged her cheeks as she finished, “tumhe surprise du.”

He stopped in the process of loosening his tie, as astonished at the color of her cheeks as he was at her words. Afraid to shatter the moment, he whispered, “surprise?”

Her eyes twinkled, “haan… tum fresh hoke change karlo pehle… main fan onn kar deti hun…”

As she moved towards the switch board, he looked around him, frowning on seeing the empty space beside the chairs. Puzzled he asked, “Naina… mere bags tumne hataye kya?”

She glanced at him, “haan… living room me aise pade hue achche nahi lag rahe the… Koi achanak ghar aa gaya, jaise uss din tumhare office se aaye the, toh kaisa lagega… isiliye maine hata diye…”

His eyes became dull, “ohh… I see… kahan rakhe? Kitchen me?”

She stared at him wondering how badly she had behaved that he couldn’t even fathom her keeping his bags in bedroom. Still he didn’t argue with her, or get angry… He was just asking where his stuff was so he could readjust himself. She shook her head, walked over to him, held his hand and tugged him, “aao mere saath…”

Taking him inside the bedroom, she pointed towards the shelf and then watched his face for his reaction. He frowned for a moment, thinking what she was pointing at but then his eyes widened and mouth fell open on seeing his shirts, t-shirts, tracks and trousers neatly folded on the second shelf; his socks and ties were on the same shelf, but inside a small wicker basket that he had earlier seen in the kitchen. She carefully informed, “suit ke jackets fold nahi kar sakti na, isiliye woh hangar pe latka diye… Darwaze ke peeche hai.” She closed the bedroom door to show him the five hangars with suits.

He absentmindedly asked, “mere baaki ke kapde?”

She flushed a bit, “uh… woh ab tak bag me hi hai… tum nikaalke usi shelf pe rakh dena…”

His heart thudded in a heavy rhythm as he looked around once more, taking in her colorful attires and his clothes, kept together, though on different shelves. His suits were hanging on hangars beside a few hooks that held her night dress and couple of dupattas. His throat choked as he looked at her, “thank you…”

She smiled, “thanks to you Sameer… itne din bina kisi complain ke sab bardasht karne ke liye. I seriously don’t know tumne kaise kiya… Tumhari jagah main hoti toh kabse give-up kar chuki hoti.”

“I don’t think so”, he gently said, “tum bhi apne pyaar ke liye sab kuch karti.”

She shrugged, “shayad… chodo chalo… tum fresh ho jao… phir chai banaoge?”

“Of course”, he smiled, “and thanks for the surprise… mujhe achcha laga.”

Her brows furrowed in confusion, and then she mused, “oh… haan… shayad yeh bhi surprise hi tha…”

He queried, “matlab?”

“Kuch nahi”, she grinned, her eyes sparkling once more. He watched her leave the bedroom, and sighed, closing his eyes. In that moment he felt so happy that he didn’t have words to express. He had been explicitly told that he had no space in her life, in her room and she wouldn’t do anything for him… But today she had herself arranged his clothes in her bedroom, made space for him, and also understood how special this would be for him… In morning he had known that just saying yes to marriage wouldn’t mean that she accepted him completely, but this gesture of hers definitely showed that she was starting to accept him in her life not just for their child but also because she wanted it.

“Sameer”, she hollered from the kitchen, “kahan reh gaye? Jaldi karo… Chai peeni hai.”

He chuckled, wiping the few drops of happy tears that had leaked from his eyes, “aaya bas…” Grabbing his clothes, he quickly freshened up and changed… After all, his Naina was waiting for special tea made by him… As he made tea he saw couple of vessels on the side, and tried to lift the lid of one to check. She swatted his hand away, “uh uh… abhi nahi…”

“Sirf dekh raha hun”, he pouted.

She scowled, “kaha na surprise hai.”

He stirred the tea once, adjusted the flame, “okay fine… yeh toh batao ke abhi kya kar rahi ho.”

She turned holding the dish in her hand, a wide grin on her face, “sandwich… cheese, cucumber, tomato, potato wala… green chutney aur ketchup lagake… bilkul jaise school ke canteen me milta tha…”

His eyes widened, “ohh… wow! Mujhe bahot pasand hai yeh…”

“Tabhi toh banaya budhdhu”, she clucked her tongue, “aur meri mithai kahan hai?”

He mumbled, “bag me…”

She queried, “main nikaalu?”

He nodded, still stunned at the fact that she had prepared school canteen style sandwich because he liked it. How did she know? He watched her flittering around like a butterfly, keeping the sweets he had bought in a bowl and then placing the whole thing in a water-filled plate so that ants couldn’t reach it. He heard her exclaim on seeing rasmalai and sonpapdi both. The packet of yoghurt was also placed in a water filled bowl, and hummed clearing up the crumbs of bread. He felt as if he was in a different world as he poured the tea and then set the cups on the coffee table.

She eagerly offered him the sandwich, and he picked up a piece, unable to stop himself from asking, “tumhe kaise pata ke mujhe yeh sandwich pasand hai?”

Munching on a piece, she spoke, “canteen me dekhti thi tumhe… Munna aur Pandit samose khaate the aur tum hamesha sandwich lete the… Jab bhi woh dono tumhe samosa offer karte the tum kehte the tumhe itna pasand nahi… sandwich zyada better hai.”

His heart skipped beats, “tum… tum mujhe dekhti thi…”

She blushed, but mumbled, “as if tumhe pata nahi… saari ladkiya tumhe dekhti thi…”

“Par sabme aur tumme farq tha”, he stated, “haina?”

She shrugged, “main kisi aur pe comment nahi kar sakti.”

He smiled, savoring each bite of the sandwich. No one had ever remembered his choices or preferences. But Naina remembered something from so many years back… This itself showed that she had feelings for him even then. He also felt extremely glad that she remembered his friends, and informed with a smile, “tumhe pata hai… Munna aur Pandit ki shaadi ho gai hai. In fact… Munna ko toh baby bhi ho gaya hai.”

She seemed fascinated, “really? Ladka ya ladki?”

“Ladka”, he replied, “Mayank naam rakha hai.”

She smiled, “wow… Aur Pandit?”

Sameer laughed, “Pandit ke liye toh ladki dhundne me hi parade lag gai thi… Har baar kuch na kuch gadbad karta aur ladki ke gharwale mana kar dete.”

She laughed along, and then asked, “tumhare gharwalo ne ladki nahi dekhi tumhare liye?”

He quirked a brow, “konse gharwale? Do you think my mom is bothered? Nanu ne ek-do baar baat ki mujhse shaadi di, but no one could make me do anything.”

She nodded, sipping on her tea. Since they were on the topic, he took the chance of asking, “tumhare gharwalo ne tumhe shaadi ka nahi kaha?”

She jerked, her eyes widening, and he could see traces of fear in the soft brown depths. Her hands trembled, and she had to keep the cup down, sweat beads forming on her forehead even in the air of fan. He held her hand, “koi compulsion nahi hai… no need to answer… Hum baat kar rahe the isiliye maine puch liya.”

She took deep breaths, gathering her composure, “I am sorry… but I am not ready to talk about this… Bas jo sabko pata hai utna hi bata sakti hun… Main jab college ke first year me thi tab meri engagement ho chuki thi… Aur ek mahine me hi tut gai… Maine todi…”

“I thought I was the only jerk in your life”, he said in a musing tone, “par lagta hai woh mujhse bhi bada gadha tha.”

She let out a hollow laugh, “please… don’t compare… Manav se zyada ghatiya insaan maine aaj tak nahi dekha…”

Even though he knew the name from bua-dadi already, his senses sharpened, as this time it was Naina telling him about her engagement, “Manav?”

She sighed, closing her eyes, gripping his hand tight as if drawing strength, “Manav Bajaj naam tha uska… I mean hai… I hate him… Sab kuch barbaad kar diya usne…”

He cupped her face, wiping her tears with his thumb, “shsh… it’s okay sweetheart… please don’t cry… He isn’t worth it…”

Opening her eyes, she nodded, “mujhe pata hai… it’s just that… kaafi buri yaadein hai…”

He gently squeezed her hand, “jis din tumhe sahi lage, mujhe batana…”

She licked her lips, “I will try… par yeh past hai…”

“Doesn’t matter”, his voice held an edge, “jo baat tumhe abhi bhi takleef deti hai woh mere liye janna zaroori hai.”

She looked up in his eyes worried at his tone, “tumne jaise meri information nikaali thi kahin waise hi Manav ke baare me toh nahi karne wale?”

His lips pressed in a thin line, “I could… par karunga nahi… kyunki main chahta hun ke apne past ke baare me tum mujhe khud batao… jab tumhe sahi lage… jab tum mujhpe bharosa kar sako.”

She drew in a breath, “ek baat puchu tumse?” He nodded and she asked, “mujhe dhundne ke liye tumne zaroor paise aur power use kiya hoga… I still remember you told me so many things about myself, and said that I can’t hide from you… Kya tumne kisiko kabhi information ke badle paise offer kiye?”

He took some time to think, and then answered, “you are right… tum jaise gayab hui thi, tumhe dhundne ke liye paise aur power dono use karne pade the… but if you are asking ke movies me dikhaate hai waise kahin maine information ke badle briefcase bharke cash kisiko diya hai ke nahi, toh jawaab hai nahi…” She sighed in relief, and he continued, “pehle toh main tumko directory me dhund raha tha, kyunki mujhe kuch sujh nahi raha tha aur Bhavna Tai se suna ke unki bahu ne kisi puraani saheli ka number dhund nikaala tha… Lekin saare Agarwal ko phone karke bhi tum nahi mili… Tab phirse Bhavna Tai se hi idea mila, tumhare baare me school se, Ahmedabad wale ghar se ya club se janne ka.”

She gasped, her eyes widening in horror, “Ahmedabad… Tum… tum wahan…”

He scooted his chair closer, looping an arm around her shoulder, “calm down Naina… maine tumhare Ahmedabad wali family me se kisise baat nahi ki hai…”

She was almost hyperventilating, “promise? Sach bol rahe ho na…”

He watched her for some time; his eyes clouded with emotions, and then gently lifted her from her chair onto his lap. She shuddered, and he hugged her, “I swear Naina… Main tumhare family me se kisise nahi mila… Rakesh sir se bhi nahi…” Slowly her arms looped around his neck, and she buried her face in his hair, still sniffing. He kept his voice neutral and gentle as he informed, “main Ahmedabad gaya tha… Iss ummeed me ke shayad koi aur information mil jaaye tumhare baare me. Usse pehle phone pe hi principal sir ne tumhare engagement wali news di thi mujhe… sirf itna hi ke fix hua tha aur tut bhi gaya. Jab Ahmedabad gaya tab I met all the teachers… Lekin uss din Rakesh sir nahi aaye the… Maine unka address liya aur Nirmal Jyoti Society pahonch gaya.” She stiffened in his arms, and he rubbed her back, “jab upar pahoncha toh suna tumhare ghar me jhagde chal rahe the… Jo thoda bahot suna usse do baate pata chal gai… Pehli yeh ke tumhare gharwale mere koi madad nahi kar sakte kyunki woh sab log, khaas kar ke, tumhare papa, apni akkal kahin bech aaye hai… Aur dusri yeh ke uss ghar me sirf ek hi insaan hai jisko tumhari fikar hai, jo tumhe bahot miss karti hai – Preeti.”

Her hold on him tightened as she sobbed, and after a few minutes she confessed, “mujhe bhi Preeti ki yaad aati hai… kitne mahino se usse baat nahi ki hai… Uski shaadi bhi tay ho gai hai…”

He felt the wetness on his scalp and teased, “you know… agar aansu hi ponchne hai toh mere baalo se zyada effective mera t-shirt hoga…”

She hit his shoulder lightly, “chup… ek toh rulaate ho aur phir mazaak udate ho.”

“I am sorry sweetheart”, he crooned, and then wiped her tears, “bilkul idiot hun main… I shouldn’t have talked about this.”

She shook her head, “it’s okay… Ahmedabad ke baad kya hua?”

He understood that she wasn’t ready to talk about her family yet, but still it was a step forward because she at least confessed to missing Preeti. And she was still sitting on his lap without any complains… He honestly narrated, “actually Ahmedabad jaane se pehle main club gaya tha aur phir tumhare college me bhi gaya.”

She blinked, “oh… toh Suraj ne information nahi di tab?”

He moved some of the loose strands of hair behind her ear, “Suraj tha hi nahi… Birthday ke baad apne family aur fiancé ke saath ghumne gaya tha. Club ke manager ne kuch bhi batane se mana kar diya…” Sheepishly he informed, “maine tab usko paise offer kiya tha… Bina kuch soche… Desperation me…”

Her eyes widened, “phir?”

He scowled, “he asked me to leave the club.”

She chuckled, “wow… SJM ko club se nikaal diya!”

“Sweetheart, he had no idea I was SJM”, he smirked, “warna itni daring nahi karta… I just introduced myself as Sameer Maheshwari… Not SJM.”

She stuck her tongue out at him playfully, making his heartbeats skitter. Never had he seen her like this… In school she was always shy and blushing, but he had seen her joke and laugh with her friends. And after her had met her in Mumbai she had been a combination of fire and soothing rain that night, while after he found her again she had been distant and subdued. But slowly she was changing… She also didn’t look as tired and defeated as before… Her skin had started to glow and her eyes held happiness more often than before. Since this morning, it was as if he was witnessing a different Naina altogether, someone he might have witnessed if they had dated like regular couples.

She shook him, “uske baad?”

He sighed, “usi raat ko jab club ke bahar khade hoke manager ko kos raha tha, mujhse uss waiter ne bulaya… Vishal… The one who was serving me on that first night… He told me that you had come to Suraj’s birthday party and you were his friend. Usine mujhe bataya ke Suraj bahar gaya hua hai… Tumhare college ka naam bhi usise pata chala… I offered him tip for the information, par usne kaha ke tumne uss raat use kaafi bada tip diya tha aur yeh bhi ke woh yeh sab bata raha hai kyunki tum uss raat mera bahot dhyan rakh rahi thi…” Leaning back on the chair, still with her in his arms, he continued, “Suraj se milne ka scope nahi tha toh next day tumhare college gaya… Wahan dean se mila… But again, like a fool I didn’t have a proper back story except that you are my friend and I am looking for you. Naturally, dean nahi maana… For a second I thought of money, but then… turant khayal aaya ke agar koi professor ko main paise offer karunga toh tum bahot disappoint ho jaogi… Isiliye kuch bina kahe wahan se nikal gaya… Office pahoncha toh pata chala ke Baroda ke kisi supplier ke wahan payment issue hai… It was such a small thing ke main kabhi jaane ki sochta bhi nahi… Lekin iss baar, motivation tha aur mauka bhi mil gaya… Isiliye ek din ke liye jaake aaya, par wahan kuch bhi nahi mila… Bas itna hi pata chala ke tumhari family hopeless hai… Wapas aake Suraj se mila… And that’s when I got your old address.”

She bit her lip, looking away, “bua-dadi kaisi hai?”

“Fierce”, he replied, “jaise hi unko pata chala ke main wahi aadmi hun jiske saath tum club se nikli thi she slapped me… twice…”

Her head snapped back to his face, her eyes wide, and she automatically lifted her hand to his cheek, “oh no… I am sorry…”

He held her hand, removing it from his cheek and pressed a lingering kiss to the inside of her palm. “Don’t be”, he assured, “she was just worried about you. Anyways… once she calmed down and accepted that I am genuinely searching you, she helped me.”

Her eyes rounded, “kya?”

He nodded, “haan… mujhe tumhara bank, purana office, yeh sab wahi se pata chala… and she also told me ke tumne saare paise withdraw karke bank account band kar diya. It seemed like a dead end… Lekin iss baar maine achche se planning ki… Backstory bhi banaya aur tempting offer bhi… Tumhare purane bank ke manager se maine pension scheme ki baat ki for SJM Enterprise. It wasn’t a lie… Mujhe shuru karwana hi tha mere employees ke liye… But instead of handing over the task to Aman, I took it on myself… SJM name was enough for the manager to attend me personally… I let him talk, let him take the bait… Once he assured me ke woh kuch bhi karega to have my account, I asked him about your information… Usko samajh nahi aaya ke main tumhe kyun dhund raha hun, aur jab usne bataya tumhare naye bank ke baare me jahan tumne demand drafts deposit kiye the uska dimag kisi aur hi angle pe chalne laga… Apparently tumne bahana banaya tha ke sheher chodke jaogi, lekin tumhare naya bank isi sheher me tha, so he thought ke tumne jaldi-jaldi me bhaagne ke liye jhooth bola… Aur SJM tumhe dhund raha tha matlab tumne kuch churaya hai mujhse.”

She gaped at him for a moment and then almost shrieked, “chor…!? Usne mujhe chor kaha… How dare he? Aur tumne… tumne kuch bola nahi usko?”

He shrugged, “main kya bolta… sahi toh kaha usne… chor hi toh ho tum… tabhi toh tumhe dhund raha tha…”

Her nose flared as she indignantly said, “excuse me… kya churaya maine? Tumhare ghare pe kisi bhi cheez ko maine haath tak nahi lagaya…”

He smiled, “mere ghar, wahan ki saari cheeze aur main… sab tumhara hai Naina… lekin uss din tum jaate-jaate, mere dil chura le gai hamesha ke liye… Toh hui na tum chor? Aur apne dil ko dhundne ke liye tumhe dhundna zaroori tha.”

She blushed, looking down shyly and it was then that she realized that she was still on his lap, comfortably surrounded by his arms. “Uh… mujhe uthne do”, she muttered.

He smirked, “kyun? Main bilkul comfortable hun…”

She squirmed, “par main…”

He dragged in a breath, interrupting her, “ab aise hilogi toh bahot jald tum aur main dono uncomfortable ho jayenge.” She squinted at him wondering about his meaning, and it was soon evident as she felt him hardening under her bottom. She gasped, and he dramatically sighed, “dekha… kaha tha na maine…”

Her breathing became slightly erratic, her cheeks flushing with color, and she couldn’t meet his eyes. He chuckled, stroking her cheek with his knuckles, and then helped her sit on the chair next to him again, asking gently, “better?”

No… It was better before.

Her heart screamed, but she nodded docilely. Keeping her hand in his, he finished his tale, “jis din tum mujhe clinic me mili, uss din main Munna ki mom ki reports dikhane aaya tha. Unka hysterectomy ka operation hone wala tha and we just wanted a second opinion that everything was safe… I nearly lost you again that day… Tum bhaag gai aur main raste pe idhar-udhar ghum raha tha tumhe dhundne, lekin tabhi bank ke manager ne mujhe tumhara address bhej diya… Main usi raat tumse milne aana chahta tha, but I didn’t want to scare you… Isiliye neeche hi wait kar raha tha… Tabhi tum neeche aai, white salwar-kameez pehenke… I followed you till the ice-cream shop, and back… Aur phir poori raat neeche gaadi me bitaya kyunki mujhe darr lag raha tha ke kahin tum phirse kahin chali na jao.”

She was surprised at the last line… He had spent the whole night under her apartment in his car? Her tone held a mixuture of amazement and realization as she said, “tabhi agle din subah tum baar-baar keh rahe the ke main chhup nahi paungi tumse… haina?”

He nodded, “haan… main nahi chahta tha ke aisi haalat tum phirse shifting ka stress lo… Aur honestly tum kahin jaati toh bhi main give-up nahi karta… I would have found you…”

She sighed, placing her hand over her belly, “baby ka sochke hi ruk gai thi…warna pehla reaction bhaagneka hi tha… par baby ki health ko risk me nahi daal sakti thi… And I was weak… Unn dino theek se kha nahi paati thi… Upar se kaam ke liye traveling… Raat ko neend bhi achche se nahi aati thi… I didn’t want to take any more risks.”

“I am so sorry sweetheart”, he bowed his head, touching his forehead to her hand, “kaash uss din maine itni nahi pee hoti… I wouldn’t have blabbered such nonsense… Aur subah bhi late nahi uthta…”

She shook her head, once more not wanting to touch the topic of that night. Rather she said, “mujhe tumse kuch aur baat karni hai.”

He understood her once more, and let her divert the topic, “okay… mujhe bhi… uh… shaadi ke baare me.”

She smiled, nodding, “par pehle meri baat… main diya kar deti hun pehle phir wapas baat karte hai…”

“Okay”, he collected the dishes and cups to wash while she did the evening puja.  Since the sun had set, he asked her if she would like to sit in the balcony as there was a light breeze. She agreed to the idea and he brought out the chairs from living room, feeling incredibly happy at the ordinary but beautiful moment. He still had a tough time to believe that he was talking with Naina without being taunted or her getting angry on him. It truly looked like things were starting to get normal between them… If the slap yesterday was the reason behind this change in her, then he was happy to be slapped… For a moment yesterday evening when she had talked normally with him, joked at dinner time, he had thought it was her guilt for slapping him. But the way she had found solace in his arms after her nightmares, her apology kiss this morning, and the serene smile on her face as she had said yes to marry him had assured him that it was not guilt but rather a realization of her feelings… Somehow in her heart Naina had accepted that she cared for him, loved him… It was now just a matter of time until she expressed this to him. He had to be patient and keep assuring her of his love and presence, because it was clear from her nightmares that she had deep-rooted fear of being abandoned, and maybe more… Until he knew exactly what had happened in her past he couldn’t even resolve it for her, but one thing he could definitely do is love her so much that her fears never dared to haunt her.

She looked at the twinkling lights of the road below, and confessed, “aaj main Suraj se milne gai thi…”

He straightened immediately, every cell in his body snapping to attention, “kya? Kab? Kyun? Mujhe bataye bina kaise jaa sakti ho…?”

She frowned at him, remaining silent. He observed her expressions, and dragged a hand through his hair, his tone irate, “stop looking like that Naina. Main tumhe kahin jaane se nahi rok raha…”

She quirked a brow, “tumhare sawaalo se toh aisa nahi laga.”

He snapped, “sawaal ke peeche chinta nazar nahi aati tumhe?” Sighing deeply, he tried to explain, “Naina… honestly… I don’t mind tum kahin jao toh… why would I have any objections? It’s just that… Tum pregnant ho… Aur akele travel kiya tumne… Agar kuch ho jaata toh? Socho agar tumhe raste me chakkar aa jaate? Tum mujhe bata sakti thi ke tumhe bahar jaana hai… Yeh bhi nahi batati ke kahan jaana hai toh bhi mujhe chalta… Bas itna kehti ke kahin jaana hai toh main tumhare liye car aur driver arrange kar deta… At least let me help you.”

Her head bowed in embarrassment, “maine socha nahi ke tum bina kuch puche mujhe jaane doge…”

“I would”, he assured, “because I trust you… Tumne mujhse kaha tha ke hamare baby se related kuch bhi ho toh tum mujhe include karogi, mujhe bataogi… And I trust you to do that… Toh phir main tumhe kyun kuch karne se rokunga?”

Her eyes welled up and she held his hand, “I am sorry… Maine socha ke main aake tumhe bataungi… Mera jaana zaroori tha… Kuch jaanna tha…”

He sighed, “please promise me ke aage se kahin bhi jaana ho toh mujhe bataogi… just ask me for a car and I will arrange… bina kisi sawaal ke.”

She nodded, “I promise… tum puchoge nahi ke main kyun gai thi?”

He looked away from her eyes to the distant lights, “shayad yeh puchne ke main usse kya baat kar raha tha uss din…”

She shook her head, “nahi… actually tum jab naha rahe the tab maine tumhare mobile ke home-screen pe message padha tha… Aur mujhe laga tumne Suraj ko 10 lakh diye…”

He was puzzled, “haan maine diye… par…” His eyes widened as he realized what she meant, “tumhe laga tumhare information ke badle maine use paise diye?”

She nodded, “isiliye main kal itna gusse me thi… pareshan thi…”

He looked dejected, “you could have asked me Naina… ek simple question… dimag me itna saara bharke rakhne ki kya zaroorat hai?”

“Mujhe nahi pata main explain kar paungi ke nahi”, she muttered, “kuch hai jiske wajah se mujhe nafrat hai aise insaano se jo sochte hai ke woh ameer hai toh kuch bhi kar sakte hai. Maine jab woh message padha toh mujhe laga ke tumne bhi paise deke information nikalwai… Ek taraf aisa soch rahi thi ke paise ya power bina tum mujhe dhundte bhi kaise, aur dusri taraf ghootan ho rahi thi yeh soch sochke ke tumne paise ka galat istemaal kiya aur mujhe keh rahe the paise itne important nahi hai. Tumse baat kaise karu samajh nahi aa raha tha… Shayad isiliye kal library me…” She trailed off on a sigh, “I am so sorry…”

He pondered over the information for a couple of minutes and then queried, “Suraj ne bataya?”

She nodded, “haan… Paise dene ki wajah aur Ashray ke baare me jaanke I was so relieved… Woh mujhe ghar chodne bhi aaya tha…”

He smiled, “aur koi sawaal hai tumhare man me?”

“Bas ek”, she slowly asked, “itna bada amount tumne Suraj ko de diya sirf isiliye kyunki woh mera dost hai?”

He shrugged, “genuine friends ke liye kuch bhi karne ke liye koi problem nahi hai… Aur usko usiki family ne cheat kiya tha… I understand how that feels. Isiliye support kiya… And he proved that he is your true friend…”

She tilted her head, “information deke?”

He chuckled, “no… kal jab usko bataya maine ke tum pregnant ho he grabbed my collar and almost punched me.”

She huffed, “jaanti hun… maine bahot achche se daant lagai usko.”

Confused by what she said, he asked, “daant?”

She nodded resolutely, “haan… woh hota kaun hai tumhe punch maarne wala… Achcha hua tumne uske haath itna zor se pakda… bata raha tha mujhe ka usko aaj bhi dard ho raha hai. Good…”

He was amused, “he was worried about you… isiliye mujhe maarne ki koshish ki…”

She was irked, “aree aisi kaisi chinta… jise dekho tumhe maarne lagta hai… kabhi Anmol, kabhi Suraj…”

He recalled bua-dadi’s slap about which she didn’t know yet, and teased, “kyun? Mujhe maarne ka haq sirf tumhe hai?” Her face fell instantly; her eyes lowered losing the spark that shone just a moment ago. He cursed, taking her hands in his, and placing them on his cheeks, “sorry sweetheart… don’t feel bad about it… tumhare ek thappad ne meri life me itna bada badlaav laa diya aur mujhe itni khushi de di ke main toh roz thappad khane ko taiyar hun.”

She looked in his eyes, “aisa kyun?”

He grinned, “thappad maarne ke baad tum mujhe kiss karke sorry bhi toh bologi na… two kisses for each slap… perfect…”

She laughed out at that, “dhatt…”

“I love you”, he said, gazing at her fondly.

She blushed, biting her lips, “I know…” He closed his eyes, leaning back on his chair, completely assured that someday sooner or later that ‘I know’ would change into ‘I love you too’… He was sure of it… They sat there in silence for some time, enjoying the cool evening breeze, none of them feeling the need of words. Naina also closed her eyes like him, amazed at the contentment she was feeling. Maybe Dr. Suchitra, Anmol and Suraj were right, it really helps to talk and share… Sameer didn’t lie to her at all… Neither did he avoid answering anything… He also understood when she wasn’t ready to talk about something and let her share and progress at her own pace. Maybe this was one relationship she could put her trust in…

As the clock struck 8pm, Sameer decided to catch-up on some work since Naina mentioned there was no cooking to be done. She took a piece of sonpapdi, sitting beside Sameer, happily separting the strands to eat and chattering about the coffee shop meeting. Sometime in between she asked, “kaam me disturb ho raha hai?”

He pinched her nose, “you can never disturb me… karti raho baate… it is like background music.”

She rolled her eyes, “c’mon Sameer… itna bhi romantic mat bano… baate kaise music lag sakti hai?”

He flipped the pages of a file as he explained, “jab life usually akelepan me beeti ho toh kisi apne ki baate music hi lagti hai.”

She stilled, her eyes fixed on him… He didn’t seem to realize what he had said, but his words held such deep meaning that she felt her heart ache for him… Had he really craved for companionship so much? What kind of family he had who weren’t even bothered about him? Had they ever visited him? How did he spend festivals? What did he do on his birthday? How did he celebrate his business achievements?

Few minutes later he seemed to realize that she had stopped speaking, and looked up from his file, to find her unblinking gaze fixed on him, “kya hua? Aise kya dekh rahi ho?”

“Tumhe”, the answer escaped her mouth even before she could think of changing it.

He seemed to be surprised for a moment, and then asked with a flirty lopside smile, “like what you see?”

She laughed, “phir kabhi jawaab dungi… filhaal khana garam leti hun.”

“Ab toh bata do kya banaya hai”, he pleaded.

She shook her head, standing up, “abhi khane bethenge tab dekh lena.” He pouted, but deep inside his heart happiness bubbled because no one had done such things for him. Special meal cooked for him was an unheard concept. He had seen his mother fulfilling Rohan’s demands and had yearned for the same affection, but kept his mouth shut knowing that wish could never turn to reality. He closed his files, a small smile playing on his lips, and set them aside. Standing up he washed his hands and then asked her if he could come and get the dishes. She refused, asking him to sit, and he obeyed starting to feel pampered all of a sudden.

Naina came in with two dishes and two bowls and spoons. Next was a bowl of salad and some dry sabji that upon inspection turned out to be aloo-methi. The next round was roti and rice which seemed to be tossed with cumin and coriander. And finally came the last two bowls, which she kept on the small table with a gleeful smile…

He frowned, “Naina itna saara bananeki kya zaroorat thi? Dekho… Table bhi chota pad raha hai…”

She looked at the table, biting the corner of her lower lip, and then proposed, “neeche bethe?”

“Naina main keh raha hun…”, he started to speak… But she interrupted, “please na Sameer… pehli baar kisike liye surprise plan kiya hai, kud-kud mat karo na… Aur mujhe pata hai shayad tumhe neeche bethke khane ki aadat nahi hogi par, table sach me chota hai…”

He sighed, shaking his head, “okay fine… neeche bethte hai…”

He sat cross-legged on the floor near the coffee table, across her, and both of them managed to get all the dishes down. She gleefully lifted the cover of the last two bowls and waited for his reaction… He peeked in… One was dal-fry… And the other bowl contained… “Matar-Paneer”, he exclaimed in surprise.

She grinned, “haan… tumne bataya tha na… one of your favorite dish.”

He stared at her in amazement, “tumne wapas aake itna sab kiya? Rest kiya ke nahi?”

She started serving them both, “thoda sa… excitement me neend nahi aai. Mujhe tumhara reaction dekhna tha…”

“Aaj ek din me itne surprises mile hai na jitne life me kabhi nahi mile”, he mused.

She chuckled, “Suraj college me kehta tha main surprise package hun… Koi predict nahi kar sakta main kya karungi.”

As she placed two rotis on his dish, he took her hand, and leaned, placing a kiss on the back of her palm, “I agree to an extent…”

She smiled, “khake batao na kaisa bana hai…”

He nodded, tearing a bit of chapati, and scooped up a piece of paneer with some gravy. The paneer was succulent, the gravy perfectly balanced with spices and the peas added a burst of sweetness. “Mmmm”, he moaned, “oh God Naina… I swear… agar tumse ab tak pyaar nahi hua hota na toh yeh sabzi khake ho jaata… goodness… please apne haath do… I want to kiss them again.”

She laughed, delighted at his compliment and happily placed her hands on his extended ones, giggling even more when he covered them with sloppy kisses. “Bas bas”, she pulled back her hands, “ab mujhe bhi khane do…”

He grinned, “it’s amazing… seriously…”

They kept talking while eating, not at all in a hurry to finish the meal. She confessed to him that she had no inclination to cook, and neither had she taken much interest in learning before. But once she shifted her she started to cook properly and also tried making new dishes. It surprised him that this was the first time she had made matar-paneer, and asked how did she manage to make it so perfectly. She shrugged, “ek-do baar Pushpa tai ko banate hue dekha tha… toh thoda thoda yaad tha…”

He licked his fingers, “I love the surprise Naina… lekin please… baar-baar yeh sab mat karna… you need to take care of your health.”

She spooned some dal in his bowl, “haan baba… yeh toh rare treat tha… roz milega bhi nahi tumhe…”

Once they finished dinner, Sameer insisted on washing the dishes. Naina stood beside him, leaning against the countertop, and asked, “tumhe kuch baat karni thi na?”

He nodded, rinsing the bowls, “haan… I was… uh… thinking… ke shaadi kab karenge? Aur kaise… I mean tumhare kuch ideas ya dreams honge na…”

She hesitated because now she wanted to voice her thoughts but was afraid of wiping the smile from his face that she had been seeing since morning. That smile mattered to her… It gave peace to her heart… But once upon a time, in her life she had always compromised for others’ happiness and that had ultimately ruined her life. He finished cleaning the dishes and washed his hands, turning to her and frowned on seeing her lost in thoughts.

He gently placed his hands on her shoulders, bringing her back to reality, “hey… what happened? Having second thoughts?”

She heard the fear and slight tremble in his voice, and realized that he was genuinely afraid that she would go back on her words and decline getting married. Smiling slightly she shook her head in negative and he immediately sighed in relief. He queried, “toh phir kya hua?”

She spoke in a low voice, “I am scared…”

“Shaadi se?” He asked.

She once more shook her head, “nahi… mujhe kuch kehna hai par darr lag raha hai ke kahin tumhe dukh na pahonche.”

He hooked a finger under her chin, tilting her head to look in her eyes, and sincerely said, “unless you are saying no to marry me, there is nothing that can make me sad.”

She promptly queried, “what if I say I am not ready to be your wife…? Tab bhi nahi?”

He tried to process her words, “you are ready to marry me but not be my wife? Matlab? Shaadi ke baad sabse chupana chahti ho? You want to pretend ke humne shaadi nahi ki hai?”

“Nahi Sameer”, she clucked her tongue, “agar kisiko bata nahi sakte toh shaadi hi kyun kare… The whole idea is to get married taaki koi baby ke baare me galat na bole…”

He was puzzled, “toh phir tumhara kya matlab hai? Main samjha nahi…”

She took a deep breath, “I don’t want the rituals… Mehendi, Sangeet, Haldi, Phere, Reception… Yeh sab kuch nahi… Simple court marriage chahiye… Aur…” Her eyes moved away from him, lowering as she added, “main mangalsutra aur sindoor nahi pehnungi… I mean… abhi nahi…”

He softly asked, “abhi nahi matlab baad me pehnogi?”

She bit her lip, “uh… abhi hum shaadi kar rahe hai because I trust you to protect my child and me… the whole reason behind this is my baby… main mangalsutra aur sindur usi din accept karungi jis din main har tarah se tumhari wife banne ko ready ho jaungi…”

He was silent for so long that she started to worry… She didn’t have the courage to look in his eyes and so she closed hers… After several minutes she heard his chuckle, and puzzled she opened her eyes to find him grinning like a mad man. Maybe he did go mad after what she said? Maybe she broke his dreams? What was wrong with him?

“I know I am not supposed to kiss you”, he rumbled, still chuckling, “but that’s all I can think of right now…”

Seriously? Here she was saying she was not ready to be his wife and he was thinking of kiss? Absolute certified madness… She narrowed her eyes, trying to show him that there was nothing she found worth laughing.

He seemed to be even more amused at her reaction, “oh sweetheart… you don’t understand… tumhe lagta hai rituals na karke ya mangalsutra-sindur ke bina tum meri wife nahi banogi?”

She frowned but nodded. He calmly explained, “galat soch rahi ho tum… tum symbols ko importance de rahi ho… As soon as we sign those legal papers in-front of law, you will be Mrs. Naina Sameer Maheshwari… Phir chahe tum mangalsutra pehno ya na pehno, sindur lagao ya na lagao, tumhare haatho me mehendi ho ya na ho, tumhe saree pehno ya jeans… nothing matters… You. Will. Be. My. Wife.”

Her eyes widened at the way he stressed each word, and she felt flustered at the intensity in his voice. His eyes glittered as he continued, “I understand ke tum kya bolna chah rahi ho… tum keh rahi ho ke duniya ke saamne hum husband-wife honge, but ghar ke andar hamara relation waisa hi hoga jaisa abhi hai… But sweetheart, that won’t mean that we are not husband-wife… You are confusing physical pleasure and gestures of affection with relationship… Maine toh tumse pehle hi kaha tha ke main wait karunga jab tak tum khud apne feelings mujhe nahi batati… Shaadi kar lenge iska matlab ye nahi ke main tumhe lovemaking ke liye kahunga… I agree… that is a fundamental part of this relationship, but that doesn’t mean that if we don’t make love you won’t be my wife.”

She looked in his eyes puzzled at his statements. He took her hand in his, “main tumhe bina permission ke kiss nahi karunga… Hug bhi tumse puchke karunga… Tumse pyaar karunga aur tumhare pyaar ka intezaar karunga… Hamari shaadi me tumhari identity kho nahi jayegi… Tum apna job continue karogi as long as you want… Hamare baby ka dhyan hum saath me rakhenge jaisa abhi rakhte hai… Shaadi ke baad bhi hum yahin rahenge, iss ghar me, jab tak tum ready nahi hoti uss ghar ko apna maanne ke liye… I would love to see you in sindur and mangalsutra some day, but that’s only because I am possessive about you, lekin main kabhi tumhe force nahi karunga unn symbols ko accept karne ke liye… I will wait jab tak tum dil se mujhe accept nahi karti… You will be Mrs. Maheshwari for me, lekin tum chaho toh apne passport me kabhi naam change mat karna… Marriage for me isn’t about claiming rights, but rather about giving rights… Aur isiliye main tumhe khudke upar har ek haq deta hun… I promise to always hold your hand, and always be there for you… Yahi chahti ho na tum?”

Her eyes welled up on hearing his words, and she bit her lip, leaning on his chest, “thank you… mujhe nahi pata tum kaise mujhe itne achche se samajhte ho…”

He assured her with complete confidence and faith, “ek din aayega Naina jab tum bhi mujhe aise hi samjhogi… Aur uss din tum khud meri dulhan ki tarah, mere liye sajogi.”

She closed her eyes, “mujhe nahi pata woh din kab aayega Sameer, lekin itna keh sakti hun ke jab bhi woh din aayega sirf tumhare liye hi aayega, kyunki tumhare alawa main kisi aur ke baare me soch bhi nahi sakti…”

“That’s all I want sweetheart”, he crooned, hugging her tight, “now shall we fix the date?”

She drew back a bit, “umm… parso? Shaam ko sonography ka appointment hai usse pehle?”

His eyes lit up at the suggestion, “of course… shaadi ke baad mom-dad dono baby se milenge… it’s the most perfect idea…”

She blushed, “umm… kal kuch preparations karni hai?”

He had a thoughtful expression as he said, “I will re-arrange my meetings… Parso chutti lunga… Aman will get the appointment at the registrar office… Tumhe kuch chahiye? I mean… parlor vagera kuch?”

She shook her head, “nahi… main theek hun…”

“Okay”, he didn’t probe much, “tum bhi chutti le lena yaad se… And I will need to manage the PR…”

Her eyes rounded, “tum announce karoge kya shaadi ka?”

He quickly assured, “nahi Naina… but news leak ho sakti hai… So I will have to handle things accordingly. Aur haan… if I am not wrong… We will need witnesses as well… Do tumhare taraf se, do meri taraf se…”

She asked, “tum kise bologe?”

“Aman”, he promptly replied, “aur dusra… umm… koi hai nahi waise toh…”

She smiled, “Suraj? Maine aaj hi usko bataya ke hum shaadi karne wale hai… Toh I guess, he can be your witness…”

He grinned, “good idea… Par tum kise bulaogi?”

“Library me bhi toh sabko batana hoga na”, she replied.

He nodded, “haan… and I know kal toh sonography hoga par uske baad I want to spend time with you… if you don’t mind… dinner karne bahar chale?”

She blinked at the sudden question, wondering what she should do… But then anyways they ate dinner together… So what did it matter if they had it outside. “Okay”, she agreed.

He turned to take a bowl he had just washed and filled it with rasmalai. Grabbing a spoon, he scooped some of the sweet and held it up to her lips, “isi baat pe muh meetha kare?”

She smiled, accepting it, and then fed him with the same spoon much to his delight. They talked for some more time, rehashing what they discussed and thinking if they missed something. Naina wondered if they should give treat to their friends, and he liked the idea but proposed it for the day after their wedding. Finally she yawned, and he smiled, “so jaate hai… Kal tumhe library jaana hai toh jaldi uthna padega, and you haven’t rested enough today.”

She nodded, but was struck with a dilemma about the sleeping arrangements. Last night he had slept with her because of her nightmares, and today morning she had stopped him from getting up. But now what should she do? To her surprise though, he grabbed the sheets he usually used and started spreading them on the floor. She kept staring at him, her heart and mind once again fighting. He threw the cushion on the floor, and turned to wish her good night, but paused on seeing her stricken expressions.

He sighed… Walking over to her, he flicked her nose, “hey… stop thinking so much… I know kal hum saath soye the aur aaj subah bhi… And I understand ke tumhe bura lag raha hai ke main zameen pe so raha hun, par phir bhi tum ready nahi ho… Maine kaha na… I will wait… Tum araam se so jao aur achche sapne dekho… Agar bure sapne ne aane ki himmat ki toh tension mat lena, main tumhare paas hi hounga.”

Her heart felt overwhelmed at his love and understanding, and she hugged him, “thank you.”

He wrapped his arms around her, stroking her back, “good night would-be-Mrs. Maheshwari… I love you so so much…”

“Good Night”, she drew back and smiled, “my would-be-husband.” The wide grin that lit up his face didn’t dim even after she went inside the bedroom. He lay down on the floor, for the first time not even noticing the hard discomfort, and very soon drifted off dreaming about marrying the girl he loved. Naina turned on her side, feeling calmness for the first time in many years, and she knew it in her soul that no matter what she said, or what conditions she put to their marriage, she was accepting this relationship with every fiber of her being. Today was the first time they had talked… Actually talked from their heart… They had made an effort to have a conversation, to share, to discuss about their relationship. Their hearts were at peace because their heartbeats had spoken…