Love Me Tonight
Chapter 9: The Changing Camaraderie

The warmth was so amazing that Naina snuggled deeper into it, her body curling towards the source… She hummed, moving her head and her cheeks rubbed against coarse hair… Something tightened on her waist and she realized that she was being hugged… The thing against her cheek was a muscular chest, and the warmth was emanating from the person hugging her… It was him… She knew it… And it gave her such contentment that she sighed, slipping deeper into oblivion…

The loud ringing of alarm clock snapped her eyes open, bringing back into focus the real world around her, which was missing the warmth from her dream. She sighed, reaching out to grab a saltine and slowly licked the salt, letting it go down her throat… Anmol had mentioned that munching on the biscuit even before she got up would ease her more and the chances of puking would be less. She nibbled a couple of tiny bites, and then sat up, her mind still on the dream she had… It was getting worse… Earlier also she used to have dreams of Sameer hugging her while she slept, sometimes she herself imagined being hugged by him as that would help her sleep, but now the dreams were suddenly so clear that her entire body ached from the recollection. Ever since he had come to stay things were getting out of her hand…

It would be a week today and surprisingly he hadn’t given up one single bit… He still slept on the floor in living room… He still lived out of his bag… He still washed his own clothes, mostly his t-shirts, vest and boxers and shamelessly hung them along with her clothes… For his suits though he had chosen to get then dry-cleaned, and on Saturday evening he had gone with a bag full of shirts to be washed and returned with another bag full of clean shirts; her guess was he had dropped them off at his home for his maid to wash and then gotten spare shirts, but she hadn’t asked… He still prepared tea and breakfast every morning… And on top of that he would help her in cooking every evening as well… Yesterday and day before he had even helped her chop vegetables for her lunch preparation.

He took extra care to never encroach on the territories she had built, but if she was the least unwell he would forget every boundary and pamper her so much that she wouldn’t have the heart to rebuke him… Like yesterday when she had added tadka to the dal, she had started coughing, and then the smell was suddenly so overwhelming that she had to rush to the bathroom… He had been there behind her as she puked, rubbing her back, holding her hair away from her face… Once she had washed, he had passed a towel to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder to hold her steady in place, and then he had picked her up in his arms ignoring her protests… Placing her on the sofa, he had adjusted the cushion behind her and asked her to rest while he had finished cooking the rice and dal. She should have rebuked him for touching her like that, but instead she had felt warmth envelop her at his care and concern.

Much to her chagrin, her library colleagues also got to know about Sameer despite her attempts to hide the fact. And honestly she couldn’t even get mad at Sameer for that because it was Anmol who had spilled the beans… She hadn’t known that Anmol was keeping a track of Sameer picking her up every day from the corner of the road. Sameer hadn’t been happy about it, and he had tried to reason with her that it was only fair that they let her colleagues know, but she had been adamant.

“Mujhe khud nahi pata ke tum meri life me kahan aate ho toh main dusro ko kya bataungi”, she had snapped at him after their argument on the same topic third day in a row. His almost heartbroken expressions had caused a swift tinge in her heart but she had ignored it and remained firm on her decision. However next day, as soon as she had reached the library, Anmol had cornered her and demanded to know who came to drop her and pick her up every day. She had tried vehemently to deny information, even going to the extent to saying that it was her personal life and no one should interfere in it… Anmol had backed out… Only she hadn’t known that it was just for the time being… That evening when Sameer had come to pick her up at the regular corner, suddenly Anmol had popped up beside her, and held the car door to prevent it from closing. Kneeling down he had said in a curt tone, “Naina is like my sister and I think I have the right to know who is the man acting as her chauffeur every single day.”

She had shrieked, asking him to leave from there… But Sameer had stepped out of the car and come around the hood to greet Anmol in a calm tone, “my name is Sameer… And as for who I am, I think its best if we all talk about it in the library instead of on the road.”

Her denial and anger was ruthlessly ignored by the two men as they drove back to the library. Once in there Poonam and Ujwala Atya were also included in the discussion… When Anmol had repeated his question about Sameer’s identity, Naina had stayed mum, but Sameer had unabashedly stated that he intended to marry her…

Poonam had gasped aloud and blurted, “but she is pregnant…”

Sameer had simply nodded, “I know… which is why it is better to be married soon…”

“You are the man who was in her life and left her”, Anmol had stated in a curt voice.

Once more Sameer had nodded… And then before anyone could react Anmol had punched him on his jaw… Sameer had reeled back but hadn’t defended himself as Anmol punched him again and then kicked him on his stomach… The last blow had made him groan in pain and he had dropped on his knees much to her horror… Naina had stood stunned initially, unable to comprehend what was happening before her eyes, but when she had seen Sameer go down on his knees she had let out a shrill cry and moved to him…

Forgetting everything she had reached out to touch him, placed her palm on his shoulder while her other hand moved restlessly over his jaw and chest trying to take stock of his injury. He had smiled through his pain, “main theek hun… tension mat lo…”

The slight visible reddish mark on the corner of lip had almost broken her heart… Anmol had tried to grab his collar, but this time she had spoken up, “bas karo… there is no need to hit him…”

Anmol had thundered, “tum yeh bol rahi ho? Do you remember the day you got to know about your pregnancy? Tum kitna royi thi… Kitni ghabrai hui thi… Sab kuch iss aadmi ke wajah se aur tum isko bacha rahi ho…?”

She had taken a deep breath and countered, “mere aur Sameer ke beech me jo bhi hua woh hamari private baat hai. Isme kisi aur ko kuch bolne ki zaroorat nahi hai… And stop misbehaving with him…”

Sameer had managed to stand up, holding Naina along with him, and said in a calm tone, “it’s alright… shayad Naina ke saath na honeka yeh sazaa hai… But Anmol, trust me… Jabse Naina aur main alag hue tabse main usko dhund raha hun… I also wish ke uss din main hota uske saath… Har pal uske saath hota aur hum dono ko ek saath hamare baby ke baare me pata chalta. Naina ko jaldi na dhund paaneka afsos mujhe hamesha rahega, par ab main hun uske saath…”

Ujwala Atya had queried, “itni parwah hai Naina ki aur bachche ki toh usko chodke kyun gaye?”

Naina had stiffened beside him, but he had once more taken the blame on himself by saying, “galti ho gai thi jo usko apne saath naa rakh paaya… par ab har haalaat me main Naina ke saath hun…”

A shrill ring of phone had interrupted their conversation… Sameer had taken out his mobile and excused himself to talk to Aman… While he talked, she had faced several more questions from her colleagues and had to finally tell them how Sameer had turned up at her doorstep and was now staying with her. Poonam had offered, “don’t trust him so easily Naina… Pehle chodke gaya toh abhi bhi jaa hi sakta hai…”

She hadn’t known what to reply to that because only she knew that it wasn’t him who had fled… It was her… The question was why Sameer had taken up the blame on himself… Before she could ponder further, Sameer’s voice had thundered in the silent library, “what the hell… I will never accept it… Cancel the contract Aman and find a way to hold his payment until he is begging. There is no way SJM will deal with crooks like him…”

Sameer’s tone went back to normal after this as he gave some final instructions, but the silence that had been shattered a moment ago seemed too heavy now… Poonam had whispered, “SJM? He… uh… what was the name… haan… Sameer… SJM Enterprise me kaam karta hai?”

Ujwala Atya had mused, “kaafi badi company hai na… suna hai uska owner hamesha media se dur rehta hai… bahot private insaan hai… par company ka performance dekhke lagta hai bahot hi achcha businessman hai…”

Anmol had nodded, “haan bilkul… SJM Enterprise fashion world me bahot bada naam hai, aur usse bhi bada naam uske owner SJM ka hai… Lekin mushkil se kisiko chance milta hai SJM se milneka… Kabhi kahin toh ek-do photo chapi hogi akbaar me bas… Abhi kuch din pehle hi toh main aur Naina dekh rahe the… Kyun, hai na Naina?”

Sameer had returned to the group just in time to hear the last question from Anmol… He had glanced at Naina and questioned, “kya hua?”

Anmol had scowled, “tum SJM Enterprise me kaam karte ho?”

A confused Sameer had turned to Naina once again, and asked, “yeh tumne bataya?”

She had shaken her head in negative, and Anmol had argued in a piqued tone, “nahi… Naina ne kuch nahi bataya… Humne abhi tumhe phone pe baat karte hue suna… Aur bas baat kar rahe the ke kaise kuch din pehle Naina SJM Enterprise ke baare me padh rahi thi aur hum dono SJM ka purana photo dekh rahe the… Ab usme bhi koi rok-tok hai kya Naina ko?”

Sameer had replied in an amused tone, “nahi… koi rok-tok nahi hai… Naina jitna chahe utna padh sakti hai SJM Enterprise ke baare me aur agar kuch sawaal ho to puch bhi sakti hai… Par SJM ke purane photos dekhneki zaroorat nahi hai… Latest rakh sakti hai apne paas, if she wants…”

Anmol had snapped, “tum SJM Enterprise me kaam karte ho iska matlab yeh nahi ke tum SJM ka photo laake de sakte ho…”

Naina had interrupted with a sigh, “Anmol… He is SJM… Sameer Jaiprakash Maheshwari…”

There was a long moment of silence where only few vehicle horns could be heard from outside, and then there had been three different reactions… Ujwala Atya had been surprised, “oh… SJM ka maalik itna young hai?”

Poonam had shrieked, “oh my God… you are in a relationship with the SJM…!”

Anmol had paled in horror, “shit… I hit SJM… Oh God…”

Sameer had chuckled on hearing the last line, and rubbed his jaw, stating in an even tone, “it was a good hit… par angle thoda galat tha… see, you hurt your hand as well… elbow ko thoda upar rakhke maarte toh clean hit hota…”

Anmol had trembled, “I am so sorry… maine aapko maara…”

“Tum keh rahe the Naina tumhari behen hai, right?” Sameer had queried, and when Anmol nodded in positive he continued, “toh behen ko protect karne ke liye kisiko maara toh sorry kyun bol rahe ho? Main SJM hun, bhagwaan nahi… I can be punished…”

Anmol had still been in slight shock and Sameer had tried to ease him by mentioning that the punches hadn’t hurt… However the slight swelling on his jaw had told another story… Once more the memory of Sameer collapsing on his knees had flashed before her eyes and she had swayed on spot, suddenly dizzy. Sameer had reacted in an instant, looping his arms around her, cradling her head against his chest… His tone was soft as he crooned, “hey… kya hua? Chakkar aa raha hai…?”

She had felt so protected in his arms that she had closed her eyes and nodded. “Paani chahiye? Ya kuch khana hai?” He had asked… “Chaat”, she had responded without thinking much, giving in to her craving in that pampered moment. He had chuckled softly and lifted her in his arms, “let’s get you home… chaat pack karwa lenge raste se.”

Her eyes still misted as she recalled how gently he had settled her in the car, how he had assured that her purse and tiffin box was there, how he had kept his word and gotten two different chaats packed on the way to home, how he had served her once they reached home, how he had let her rest and instead cooked the dinner himself… His constant care and attention was breaking her walls down, and she was unable to control her heart which felt elated at his pampering and hoped with every little bit that he truly loved her… But her mind was still not on the same page as her heart, there were lot of questions and doubts.

There was a sound from the kitchen, and she stood up with a sigh, knowing that just like last two days Sameer was already up and working. Did the man ever sleep? He would be working on files after files when she went to sleep, and would be up in morning before her or along with her… He never complained about sleeping on the floor, but she had seen him rub the back of his neck repeatedly and also sometimes rotating his shoulders as if it hurt. She didn’t know what more she could do to make him leave… Because if he stayed there was barely any chance to save her poor heart…

As she stepped outside, her gaze fell on the crumpled sheets on the floor and her treacherous heart twisted in pain at the treatment she was dishing out to him. Sameer came out of the kitchen on hearing the doorbell, and greeted her with a smile, “good morning… jao tum fresh ho jao, main dudh le leta hun.”

She didn’t say anything as she went to the bathroom. By the time she was done with her morning routine and dressed up, Sameer had prepared toasted-cheese-sandwich for breakfast, tea and aloo-tamatar sabji for her lunch. The round red box on the countertop indicated that he had also cut salad for her… Now she only needed to prepare roti… He held up the sandwiches and asked, “kha le?”

She nodded, “tumhe roz yeh sab karneki zaroorat nahi hai… there is no need to prove anything.”

“I am not”, he replied, sitting down on the sofa, “main toh bas apni pregnant wife ki sewa kar raha hun… Mujhe kuch prove nahi karna…”

She jabbed unnecessarily to provoke him, “apna so-called ek raat wala pyaar bhi nahi?”

He closed his eyes briefly, taking in the hurt her words caused, locked it in the lonely corner of his heart like he had done a lot of times since he was a child, and then calmly replied, “woh pyaar hi kya jo prove karna pade… pyaar toh bas tumhe feel karwana hai.”

Her heart fluttered at the conviction in his tone, and her conscience berated her for hurting him when all he was doing was trying to make her feel better. Tears clogged her eyes as she bit into the cheese sandwich… A pearly drop trailed down her cheek, and she only realized it when she felt his thumb wipe it away from her face. Her troubled eyes lifted to meet his concerned ones… His voice was soft as he asked, “ro kyun rahi ho? Sandwich achcha nahi hai?”

She sniffed, “bahot tasty hai…”

His thumb kept on its slow caress on her cheek, “toh phir?”

Her voice choked, “pata nahi… bas rona aa raha hai…”

He stared at her in silence for a moment, and then said, “maine padha tha pregnancy me mood swings hote hai… don’t worry… you will feel better… main kuch kar sakta hun?”

Hug karo mujhe…

The words reverberated in her mind but she didn’t speak anything aloud; she just shook her head in negative. He gestured her to eat, and they finished the remaining breakfast in silence. Like every day he took his bath while she made roti for herself, and then he dropped her off at the library before leaving for his own work. Naina sighed as she watched him leave… It was too much… She was starting to get used to him, and felt bad every time she hurt him on purpose. She also realized that with him dropping her off and picking her up every day her tiredness had reduced, the dark circles under her eyes were receding in just a week, and her face had started to look and feel fresh, and she had actually started to enjoy eating rather than considering it just a task. She didn’t know how but Sameer managed to get some nice recipes to cook, especially the paneer he had prepared yesterday tasted so much like her Bua-Dadi’s cooking that she had gorged on it. Since there was no fridge at home, he would bring fresh curd or juices for her while coming to pick her up… He also accompanied her out for a stroll every night and most of these walks would end up with an ice-cream. Even her troubling dreams about him soothed her in a blissful sleep, a rest her body needed. Today it was her counseling appointment and she knew it in her heart that Dr. Suchitra would definitely comment something…

Sameer drove to his office, yawning along the way… The sleep he was getting every night was definitely not enough, and he was convinced the floor was made to kill him. If only there was at least a thin mattress… He felt as if he was running from pillar to pole the whole week. The office work was almost never ending, even though Aman helped a lot now… Priya’s parents had caused repeated disturbances in Ashray, and he had had to sort that out by threatening to get a restraining order from the court… He was cooking more that he had ever cooked in his life… Daily breakfast, help with dinner, preparing tea, heating milk… He also had to do his own laundry, and even though he didn’t tell Naina anything, he hated doing the dishes. The detergent soap always made the skin on his hands peel… It might have been tempting to give up had the end reward not been having Naina in his life. Just a week had gone by, but he could see the effect in Naina… She looked more relaxed… Once she had even given in to his touch and expressed her craving for chaat… She had been frantic when Anmol had hit him… She let him keep the house key when they went for walks, and the jibes were slowly lessening both in frequency and impact.

He had even managed to gather courage and visit Naina’s bua-dadi two days after he had found Naina… The old lady had been elated when he had told her that he had found Naina. But unfortunately he hadn’t been able to fulfill her wish of meeting her grand-daughter. Carefully, slowly, he had revealed about Naina’s pregnancy and that had earned him a hard slap on his cheek…

“Hey bhagwaan… Meri bachchi ab kya karegi…”, bua-dadi had panicked.

Sameer had assured, “main hun uska khayal rakhne ke liye… main already usko propose kar diya hai… Bas wait kar raha hun ke woh kab mujhe accept kare.”

Bua-dadi had lashed out, “Naina kabhi aisi nahi thi… yeh sab tumhari wajah se hua hai… tum ek ladki ke saath aisa kaise kar sakte ho… kya beeti hogi meri phool si bachchi pe jab usko pata chala hoga ke woh bin-byaahi maa banne wali hai… tum jaise aadmi ko toh…”

“Bas”, Sameer had interrupted firmly, “isse pehle ke aap mere character ke baare me kuch bole yeh soch lijiye ke uss raat jo bhi hua usme main akela nahi tha… Naina bhi mere saath thi… Toh kya aap uske character pe bhi ilzaam lagayenge? Maine koi zabardasti nahi ki thi uske saath… Aur rahi baat Naina ko kaisa feel hua hoga, I know usko mujhpe gussa aaya hoga, lekin mujhe yeh bhi pata hai ke woh itni toh mature hai ke yeh baat ko samajhti hai ke uss raat hum dono saath the har kadam pe. Agar aapko lagta hai main pehle ki tarah jhuk ke aapse maafi mangunga toh aapki soch galat hai… Naina ko uss din jaane dena meri galti thi, jiski maafi maine maangli… Lekin main apne hi bachche ke existence ke liye kisise maafi nahi manguga… I love my child… I love Naina… And I am proud of Naina jisne yeh tak nahi socha ke uski zindagi me koi aadmi nahi hoga aur taiyar ho gai single mother banke jeene ke liye. Aur koi uska saath de na de, main uske saath rahunga, hamesha…” Bua-dadi had stood stumped at hearing all this… Sameer had taken a deep breath, and continued, “main abhi yahan se jaa raha hun… Jab aapka gussa thanda ho jaaye aur aap theek se soch sake tab mujhe phone kijiyega, main milne chala aaunga. Filhaal ke liye main bas itna bata sakta hun ke Naina bilkul theek hai, aur main har tarah se uska dhyan rakhunga.”

He had been slightly hurt with bua-dadi’s slap and accusation on his character… Ever since he had met her after Naina’s disappearance, they had formed a bond, and he had started to respect her like family. But he also understood that after Naina being missing for so long, the news of her pregnancy was a hard hit for bua-dadi… And so he had clearly explained his stance and left, hoping bua-dadi would understand Naina’s predicament and also understand him. His patience had paid off when just the next day bua-dadi had called him asking to meet… When he had reached there, the old lady had flung her arms around him, asking for apology. Sameer had assured her that it was nothing, and that scolding him was her right… She had peppered him with questions after questions about Naina… Her home, her job, the child, how she managed to survive… When she had gotten to know that Sameer was staying with her, for a moment she had been concerned about what people would say, but had immediately waved aside that thought because she knew that it wasn’t safe for Naina to be alone in pregnancy. Bua-dadi had requested to meet Naina…

But Sameer had refused politely, stating the reason, “agar usko aapka sahara mil gaya toh woh mujhe kabhi nahi apnayegi… Aur main nahi chahta ke hamara bachcha bina apne papa ke naam ke rahe. I hope you understand… Naina jis frame of mind me hai, she needs time to trust me, tabhi woh mujhse shaadi karegi… Main uska bharosa dheere-dheere jeet paa raha hun kyunki main hamesha uske saath hun… Agar hum alag ho gaye toh Naina ko mauka mil jayega mujhse hameshe ke liye dur jaaneka, aur main uske bina jee nahi paunga.”

Bua-dadi had queried, “lekin usko baad me pata chala ke mujhe sab maalum tha aur phir bhi main chahti thi ke woh ghar wapas aaye, par tumne aisa hone nahi diya… tab kya hoga? Tab kar payegi woh tumpe bharosa?”

Sameer understood the risk, “jaanta hun ke main phas sakta hun… Lekin please, mujhe yeh waqt chahiye…”

Bua-dadi had sighed, “main samajh sakti hun… bas… kaash main aise waqt me Naina ki koi madad kar paati.”

“Kar sakti hai aap”, Sameer had piped up, “mujhe please kuch recipes dijiye aur Naina ke favorite dishes banana sikha dijiye… Main uske liye cook karta hun par meri skills bahot limited hai…”

Bua-dadi had been astonished to know that SJM cooked… She asked for more details of his stay, and he divulged the treatment Naina was dishing out to him with a smile, and softly added, “she thinks I will leave… par usko nahi pata mujhe uski aankho me apne liye fikar dikhti hai… bahot jald pyaar bhi dikhega…”

It was unfathomable for bua-dadi to imagine a man doing such things for a woman… tolerating such kind of treatment silently for love, and in return only trying to make his woman happy. She had realized that her grand-daughter was lucky to have a man like SJM in her life, and she had decided to help him in every way she could, even if that meant not meeting Naina for few more months… As long as she knew that Naina was happy and healthy, it should be fine… And so had started SJM’s cooking training with bua-dadi and Pushpa… One hour every day before he went to pick Naina up from the library… He had learnt to cook paneer just the way Naina liked, pulao, kadhi, and some vegetable dishes… Now he was trying to perfect poha for breakfast because Pushpa said Naina liked it. Additionally he would also take freshly squeezed juice for Naina every day, that was Pushpa and Bua-dadi’s way of sending the love and blessings…

That day too he landed up at bua-dadi’s home in evening armed with a list of questions. He wanted to ask about pregnancy care and problems. As he thinly sliced onions he asked, “Naina  ko kabhi-kabhi kisi bhi smell se ulti aane lagti hai… Aur ek-do baar mujhe aisa laga jaise usko body pain ho raha hai par woh kuch boli nahi.”

Bua-dadi nodded, “yeh toh normal hai pregnancy me beta… ulti ka tum kuch kar nahi sakte… teen mahine khatam ho jayenge uske baad shayad apne-aap theek ho jaaye. Body pain bhi hota hai, khaas kar ke paav me aur peeth pe. Rest zaroori hai aur dard zyada ho toh massage.”

“Massage”, Sameer chuckled, “I wish… Par woh toh mujhse dur hi bhaagegi.”

She gently asked, “tumhe lagta hai Naina tumhare liye kuch feel nahi karti?”

He added onions on top of the sputtering mustard, “of course karti hai… bahot zyada feel karti hai… lekin uski life me jo bhi hua hai uske wajah se woh emotions ignore karna bhi seekh gayi hai…” After a bit of thought he added, “I wish mujhe pata hota ke uski engagement tutne ke peeche wajah kya thi… And who was that idiot fiancé of hers…”

“Wajah toh mujhe bhi nahi pata…”, Bua-dadi replied with a sigh, “bas naam pata hai…”

His interest sharpened, “kya naam hai?”

She was silent for half-a-minute as if assessing if she should divulge, but then said, “Manav Bajaj…”

“More like Manav Bastard”, he quipped, “sorry about the language.”

Bua-dadi chuckled, “utaar lo ab poha… ban gaya hoga.” He obeyed, taking the contents out on a dish and then offered it to bua-dadi to taste. She took a spoonful, and tasted, “umm… ab bana hai perfect… Naina ko khilana… Bahot tareef karegi.” He grinned, thanking both the ladies profusely, and then took leave.

By the time he reached the library, Naina was packing things up. He greeted her colleagues, chit-chatted a bit with Anmol who seemed to have stars in his eyes whenever he met him. Sameer tried to keep things normal… He had never been a fan of hero-worship, simply because he was no hero… He had his own flaws, more than any other human being probably, and surely he did nothing to inspire devotion in others. He took her tiffin bag, and guided her outside to the car. She stayed silent until they were seated, and then demanded, “main nahi chahti ke mere counseling me tum andar aao.”

Sameer knew this would come from her, and he was prepared to give her space for now… He had two reasons for this… First, he understood that she might face difficulty in sharing some of her problems with Dr. Suchitra in-front of him… Second, he knew he could extract information from the doctor if it was really needed… And so he said, “sure… waise bhi jahan tak mujhe pata hai counseling personal hi hota hai… unless the patient wants otherwise… toh main bahar wait karunga.”

Naina was surprised at his easy acceptance but didn’t mention anything. After sometime he asked, “aaj kuch check-up bhi hoga kya?”

“Nahi”, she replied, “next check-up ek week baad hai.. jab 6^th week shuru ho jayega… Tab first time sonography hoga.”

He excitedly asked, “matlab hum hamare baby ko dekh payenge?”

She looked at him, blinking in comprehension… He seemed happy… Genuinely excited at the prospect of becoming a father… But was that reality? She couldn’t comprehend how he could be happy about something he wasn’t prepared for… But it was also unfathomable that he could put up an act for so long. Was there no breaking point for him? Was he really here to stay? Did he really love her and her baby? Could she rely on him to be there always?

Her turbulent thoughts were interrupted by a loud honk and she jerked to see that they were entering the hospital compound. As agreed between them Sameer seated himself on a chair exactly opposite to the cabin door, but not before asking her to call him if she needed anything inside. He also passed on a bottle of juice to her to sip on during the counseling session.

Dr. Suchitra greeted her with a smile and asked, “bottle me kya hai?”

“Orange juice”, she replied, “aap share karenge?”

Suchitra chuckled, “no thanks… so… how are you?”

Naina shrugged, “fine, I guess.”

“I can see that”, Suchitra observed, “chehre pe thakan kam dikh rahi hai… Aur tum zyada tension me bhi nahi lag rahi… kya baat hai?”

Naina had spent the entire morning debating if she should tell Dr. Suchitra about Sameer, but then she had realized that their first meeting after that night had been in this very same cabin, so there was no point in hiding. She took a deep breath and said, “Sameer mere saath reh raha hai ab… I hope you remember him…”

Suchitra pressed her lips to control her smile, “who wouldn’t remember SJM? He is quite handsome, isn’t he?”

Naina rolled her eyes, “maybe…”

“C’mon…”, Suchitra coaxed, “maybe you think he is a jerk… lekin uske looks ko thoda credit toh do…”

A surprised laughter spurted out of her, “uska effect aap pe bhi dikh raha hai…” Suchitra smiled and waited… After a minute Naina sighed, “and he isn’t a jerk…”

“Just a man who likes to have one-night stands”, Suchitra prodded.

Naina took a sip of the freshly squeezed juice, wondering from where he bought it every day. She twiddled her thumbs, taking her own time and then slowly confessed, “mujhe samajh nahi aa raha… I thought… Sameer ya toh iss bachche ko apnayega nahi ya sirf ek zimmedari samjhega… I thought he wouldn’t care… Par… Ek week se main khud hi confuse ho rahi hun…”

Suchitra had instinctively known that today’s topic of conversation would be SJM, and she hoped with all her heart that she could steer Naina towards him as much as she could… That one single day had made her realize that SJM might have many flaws but he was the perfect man for Naina… He loved Naina with all his being… And if she could, she would make Naina see sense. “Want to talk more”, she offered, “I promise I will listen without judging…”

Naina nodded and told her about how Sameer had appeared at her doorstep after the hospital meeting, how he had tried to convince her of his love, how he had shared about his childhood, how he had said he wanted to marry her, how he was staying at her home for a week now without any privileges… She concluded in a puzzled tone, “I don’t understand… Woh kuch nahi maangta mujhse… Not even sex… I thought he won’t be able to control… Shayad office me koi hogi, who knows… Par pata nahi kyun mera dil aur dimag alag alag direction me jaata hai… Dimag kehta hai I shouldn’t trust him, lekin jab bhi woh paas hota hai dil pe kabu nahi rehta…”

Suchitra smiled, “you know… as a doctor mujhe bahot se tough decisions lene padte hai… aur maine apne patients ko bhi aisi uljhano se guzarte hue dekha hai… The debate between heart and mind is age old… Kaafi log kahenge ke dimag soch-samjahke, analyze karke decision lene me help karta hai… Aur dil bas bewakufo ki tarah bina soche ek taraf jhukta rehta hai… Dil comparisons nahi karta, analyze nahi karta… But you know what… Tum jab tak apne dil ki baat nahi maanogi tab tak tumhe peace of mind nahi milega… Dimag se sochke shayad tum sahi faisla le lo, lekin dil ki baat maanke tum future me kabhi regret nahi karogi.”

“That’s not true”, Naina argued, “kitne log relationships me dhoka khate hai… woh log regret karte hi honge…”

“Lekin phir wapas apne dil pe bharosa bhi toh karte hai”, Suchitra countered, “you know why? Kyunki pyaar dil se kiya tha, toh waqt ke saath kadwi yaadein apne aap mit jaati hai aur yaad rehte hai woh khushi ke pal jo unhe taqat deti hai wapas bharosa karne ki… Tum batao Naina… You told me that Sameer was into one-night stands… Lekin tum toh aisa kuch nahi karti thi… Phir bhi uss raat apne dil ki baat maanke you stayed with him… Are you regretting it?”

Naina bit her lip and slowly shook her head in negative… But then quickly prompted, “lekin iska matlab yeh toh nahi na ke main usse shaadi karlu… kya bharosa aise insaan ka…”

Suchitra queried, “tumhe lagta hai Sameer ka character kharab hai kyunki he proposed someone and then slept with you on that same night, right?” Naina nodded… Suchitra further added, “logically socho toh he got rejected by someone and then he slept with you… He was tempted to take that step with you after his heartbreak… Jab woh tumhare saath tha tab woh kisi aur ke saath committed nahi tha… Think about it… What made him do that? Did he think of you as a replacement in bed?”

Naina closed her eyes, her breathing shallow as memories swirled, “nahi… woh baar baar mera naam le raha tha… he kept saying he wanted me… he… he made me feel beautiful…”

Suchitra did a mental fist-pump as she successfully brought about that first layer of acceptance in Naina. She stayed silent, not interrupting the recollection for a few minutes… Then she slowly said, “I feel the same way when my husband is focused on me…”

Naina opened her eyes… She seemed confused, but her gaze reflected the love she had in her heart… Suchitra thought if only Sameer could see her in this moment… “I still don’t know if I should marry him”, Naina said in a dejected tone.

Suchitra patted her hand, “relax… kisike bolne se tumhe Sameer ke character pe bharosa nahi hoga… You just need to observe him… And give it an honest chance… Aisa mat socho ke uska office me koi affair hai… Do you have a proof of that? No, right? Then don’t form imaginary accusations… Agar tumko koi sawaal hai toh puch lo usse. Tum khud hi keh rahi ho ke woh itna effort daal raha hai… Toh tum bhi thoda effort daalo… It will be alright…”

It was an hour session, and when she came out she found Sameer patiently waiting for her… He immediately stood up on seeing her, and covered the short distance between them, “tum theek ho? Do you need anything?”

She observed the concern in his eyes, and given the conversation she had just had with the doctor she tried to open up a bit, “main theek hun… tum… tum pura ek ghanta yahin bethe the? Aren’t you tired?”

He looked a bit surprised at her question, which was fair given the way she had behaved for the whole week. A soft smile curved his lips, “I am never tired for you sweetheart… ghar chale?”

She nodded, walking beside him out to the car, instead of keeping a wide distance between them. The smile never left his lips as he drove to the apartment. She had in mind a simple dinner of dal-rice since it was late, but with Sameer’s help she could even prepare cabbage sabji. While eating dinner she dared to ask for some information about him, “SJM ka main business kya hai?”

Once more he seemed surprised, but readily shared, “fashion… jab maine start kiya tha tabse main koshish kar raha hun ke jis kapde ya style ko log common samajhte hai ya unworthy samajhte hai usko mainframe me laau… For example, logo ko misconception hai ke high-end parties me saree pehenna is old fashioned. SJM ka aim hai to prove that saree is elegant and can be a perfect evening wear… Hum Indian designs, handloom, and style ko poore world me popular kar rahe hai… Hamara latest launch jo hua, that was on kantha stitch… Log samajhte hai ke yeh pattern sirf West Bengal ke rural areas me chalta hai… Lekin humne uss design ke sarees ke saath saath evening dresses, salwar-kameez, kurta sab kuch design kiya… Yahan tak ke silk fabric ke upar woh design se wedding outfit bhi banaya hai. Aur specially, West Bengal ke Bolpur area ke logo se yeh kaam karwaya hai to promote the incredible work they do.”

His passion for his work was reflected in his voice, his belief in his dream was evident in his confidence, and his love for his business shone through his eyes… She couldn’t help the smile that curved her lips, and neither could she stop herself from complimenting, “that’s so beautiful… I never thought ke Indian traditional designs koi party me ya videsh me pehen sakta hai…”

He shrugged, “human mind usually has limited thinking… lekin ek baar agar koi kuch unique idea ya concept saamne laake rakh de toh hamara mind use accept karne lagta hai… Aur agar woh cheez dil ko choo gai toh bas… that’s just the key to success… SJM ke employees ka hardwork aur passion hamare kaam me dikhta hai, toh logo ko woh pasand bhi aata hai.”

She nodded and queried, “tum Ahmeabad se Mumbai kyun aaye? Jahan tak mujhe yaad hai tumhare Nanaji ka bhi toh business hai na?”

He sighed, “haan… business toh hai… Lekin jab main 12^th ke exams dene wala tha tab meri mom apne pati aur parivaar ke saath Ahmedabad aa gai… Apparently Mr. Somani, mere stepfather, ko apne business me bahot loss hua tha… So mom suggested that he start his work in Ahmedabad with help of Nanu… She proposed it like a temporary idea, yeh kehke business set ho gaya toh woh log wapas Delhi chale jayenge. Even then I knew ke yeh kabhi hoga nahi… Main wahan unn logo ke saath nahi reh sakta tha, isiliye Nanu ko convince kiya ke college ka admission Mumbai me lun… Phir yahan se first year ke baad London transfer le liya… Jab London se wapas Ahmedabad aaya toh obviously sab log wahin pe the, par main bahot badal gaya tha… I just couldn’t live there… Nanu ne suggest kiya ke Maheshwari Industries ka ek branch Mumbai me khole aur woh main sambhalu… But I needed more… I wanted to do something on my own, isiliye khudka business shuru kiya.”

She was so taken in by his tale that she didn’t even realize that they had finished eating until he started to clear up the dishes. The clatter of bowl broke her out of her thoughts and she immediately placed her palm on his wrist, without thinking much, to stop him, “ruko… aaj main bartan kar lungi.”

“Tumhe yeh sab karne ki zaroorat nahi hai”, he said staring into her eyes.

She smiled, “tumhe bhi nahi hai… par phir bhi tum kar rahe ho ek hafte se… Ab se hum turns le lenge…”

He tried to convince her again, “Naina… tumhe rest…” But she interrupted, “bahot rest mil raha hai tum aaye ho tabse… itna kaam toh kar hi sakti hun… at least for few more months… I don’t know 7^th month se meri condition kaisi hogi, tab shayad sab tumhe hi karna pade… so let me do it now… tum mujhe kitchen me company de do… Tell me more about your business… Agla launch kab hai… kya hai…”

Sameer stood beside her in the kitchen, leaning his hip on the countertop as she washed the dishes. He couldn’t understand what had come over her… Ever since she had come out of the doctor’s cabin there was a sea of change in her attitude. He wondered what exactly they had discussed during the counseling. There were a lot of questions in his mind, but a good businessman never let opportunities slip because of questions, and he was nothing if not a good businessman… So he locked away the questions for now, and instead focused on enjoying the changed camaraderie between them. “Next launch January me hoga”, he informed, “we wanted on work on some different themes… experiment with colors and designs… kaafi regions me color palette fix hota hai ke, for example, kanjeevaram is bright metallic shades, bandhej is mixed dark shades… Hum different color palette laana chahte hai, jaise ki bandhej pastel shades pe bhi achcha lagega… or maybe a contrast… Hamare designers ab bhi experiments kar rahe hai… We will select a couple of regions to go with…”

She mused aloud, rinsing the bowls, “baby pink color pe bandhej achcha dikhega…”

He smiled, “you like pink?”

She shrugged, “mujhe bright shades pasand nahi… baaki aisa koi specific color preference nahi hai… And I hate it when people think ke ladkiyo ko sirf pink pasand hai.”

He laughed softly, “I have the same thoughts about blue… Hostel me tha tab school uniform se leke night dress bhi blue color ka dete the… As if blue nahi pehnenge toh hum ladke nahi rahenge.”

She chuckled, washing her hand and turned off the tap, “walk pe chale? Aaj chocolate ice-cream khane ka man hai.”

He nodded, “sure… tum dupatta le lo, main wallet aur chaabi le leta hun.”

They walked together to the ice-cream shop in comforting silence, but as the man handed over ice-creams Naina realized that she had forgotten her purse. She bit her lip in mortification, thinking that Sameer would think she did it on purpose just because he paid every day… But it seemed as if he didn’t even notice… Just like every day he took out a crisp note, handed it over to the shopkeeper and accepted the change. They walked slowly towards the end of the road where the park was located and she again kept staring at it for some time… Today he gathered courage and asked, “tum roz iss park ko aise kyun dekhti ho?”

She blinked at him, “you noticed?”

He shrugged, “if you look at the park like I want you to look at me, then surely I would notice…”

“Huh”, she was puzzled, “matlab?”

“Aise jaise tum kitna chahti ho usko”, he clarified, “that’s how you look at the park everyday… Sach kahu toh I am bit jealous.”

She gaped at him for a moment, then a soft giggle escaped her mouth, and then she started laughing… He leaned onto the park gate, crossed his arms, and stared at her with a smile on his face… Her laughter was the second thing that had attracted him to her… The first was her eyes… If her eyes had made him want to keep looking at her; her laughter had made him want to kiss her hard… And it still did… His body responded strongly and instantly on hearing her laughter, something that he had last heard only on that night so long ago…

Minutes later she calmed down, and placed a hand on her heart, “oh God… kitne dino baad itna hasi hun…”

“I know”, he mumbled softly, “I missed it so much… do you remember how I had kissed you that night for the first time? Tumhari hasi ka asar tha…” Her enchanting eyes widened on hearing this, and her pink lips parted in surprise… He took a deep breath and confessed, “ab tak wahi asar hai…”

She gulped, her eyes automatically dropping south, noticing his body’s reaction that he made no effort to hide… Pink tinged her cheeks and she instantly looked away… His chuckle made her realize that he had noticed and she was tempted for a moment to wipe that smile off his face… But before she could act upon that negative impulse, he spoke up, “I am not going to hide my reaction to you sweetheart… I am not ashamed of it… lekin asli reaction jaanna hai toh sirf wahan mat dekho, mere dil ki dhadkane mehsoos karke dekho… you would know how desperately I love you and want you…”

There it was… He finally talked about sex… But it was different… The way he talked about it, about her, it just made it feel so pure and incredible. As if it was an emotion he just felt for her… And he termed his body’s reaction a result of love as well… How was it possible? That night wasn’t a result of love… It was just his bodily need and her desire to give in to her feelings at least once in her life.

He snapped his fingers in-front of her face, “itna sochneki zaroorat nahi hai… Main bas apni feelings share kar raha tha… Tumse return me kuch nahi maanga… Ab batao iss park ka raaz…”

She frowned at him for a moment, and then sighed, “koi raaz nahi hai… mujhe bas man karta hai ke kabhi aake bethu… Lekin library se aane ke baad ghar ka kaam khatam karte-karte der ho jaati hai, toh aa nahi paati…”

He queried, “aur Sunday?”

“Ek baar aai thi”, she relayed, “par saari families hoti hai andar… you know… Sunday shaam ki outing…”

“It made you miss your family”, he gently observed.

She stiffened at the mention of her family, wondering what information he had collected on them… She had never asked, and didn’t even want to… But she was not ready to talk about them. To her relief he didn’t persist the topic, instead he asked, “abhi jaana hai?”

She gasped, “what!?”

His eyes took on a mischievous sparkle, “wall itni unchi nahi hai… araam se uss paar jaa sakte hai…”

She looked at the almost 4-feet wall with an incredulous expression, “I am pregnant…”

“I know”, he stated, “don’t worry… I won’t let you get hurt… trust me…”

She glanced at the wall and then at him a couple of times, her doubts still clear, and finally denied, “no thanks… mujhe nahi karna yeh…”

It saddened him that she didn’t trust him at all, but he consoled himself that changes had started to happen, so the trust would come soon as well. He just had to wait and keep up his attempts… Trying hard to keep the smile on his face, he said, “theek hai… ghar chale ab? You need to sleep…”

She nodded and they started walking back towards the apartment. Naina knew that he had felt bad when she hadn’t trusted him, but it was still too soon… Yes, he was protective of her, but still… If it had just been her she would have been ready to go to the end of earth with him, gamble her dignity once again, stop caring about her life for once… But when it came to her child, a mother’s protective instincts were too strong… And he hadn’t been able to gain that trust from her yet…

He stayed silent as they reached inside the flat and he locked the door. After the way she had opened up with her questions he had a flaring hope that things would get better soon, but he could clearly see it in her eyes that there was a serious lack of trust. Had his words that night been so harsh that he had lost so much trust? She was the girl who had given herself to him without an ounce of doubt… It must have taken an enormous amount of trust to take that decision… There had been no reluctance in her… She had been with him at each stage throughout the night, in each kiss, in each touch, in each sigh and moan… Then how could she suddenly not trust him at all?

He spread his sheets on the floor, grabbed the cushion and sat down leaning on the sofa, checking his mobile for any messages from Aman. Naina came out of the bathroom dressed in a pale yellow night suit. He glanced at her and smiled, “good night…”

She stood there for a minute, a thoughtful expression on his face, and then asked, “ek baat puchu? If you don’t mind… thoda personal hai…”

He gently assured, “Naina… Tum mujhse kuch bhi puch sakti ho…”

She still took a couple of minutes before posing the question, “tum… uh… tum apne parivaar walo se ab bilkul koi rishta nahi rakhte? I mean… tumhare Nanaji ke alawa…”

He briefly closed his eyes, swallowing the painful memories, and replied in a slightly shaky tone, “Mr. Somani se mera kabhi koi rishta tha hi nahi… Mummy se baat karta hun, but rarely… Hamesha se unke liye Rohan zyada special raha hai and she enjoys comparing me against him… Ek average student versus unka perfect beta… Mere 60% marks ke against Rohan ke 85%… Meri disobedience aur masti ke against Rohan ka discipline aur shaant swabhaav… I was the rebellious child, while Rohan was the obedient child… Jab bhi mummy se baat ki unhone bas meri kamiya hi ginvaai mujhe… Aaj itna successful hun tab bhi all she can talk about is how ungrateful I am…” His voice took on a painful tone, “she would tell me I don’t deserve…” He trailed off unable to share the full statement, and sighed, “anyways… ab jab zaroorat hoti hai tabhi baat hoti hai… Rohan se relationship cordial hai thoda… I mean, bachpan me nahi tha… I used to be so angry on him kyunki mujhe lagta tha he stole my mother from me. Lekin kuch time pehle maturity ke saath-saath yeh samajh bhi aai ke jab mummy ne Rohan ko apna beta maana tha aur mujhe thukraya tha tab Rohan mujhse ek saal chota tha… An infant… Uski kya galti agar meri mummy apni zimmedari aur rishte sambhal nahi saki… Aur Deepika toh paida hi baad me hui, so she has absolutely zero fault… Bahot zyada bonding nahi hai, lekin dushmani bhi nahi hai…”

She gave a slight nod of acknowledgement and then asked, “agar unn logo ko kabhi koi madad ki zaroorat hui toh kya tum karoge?”

He shrugged, “rishta pasand nahi lekin ignore bhi nahi kar sakta… so yes… if someday mummy needs my help, I would do whatever I can… Lekin yeh galat-fehmi nahi rakhunga ke usse unme kuch badlaav aayega… Bachpan me jo karta tha unka pyaar paane ke liye karta tha, ab agar karunga toh sirf isiliye karunga ke jaise bhi hai, hai toh family… Nanu ne sikhaya hai hamesha ke agar madad karne ki taqat ho toh karni chahiye… Same with Rohan and Deepika… Woh dono mujhe bhai bulate hai, so if they ever need a big brother’s help I would do that…”

She swallowed, her eyes fixed on the wall, her expressions distant, and her voice was low as she said, “shayad tum mujhse zyada achche insaan ho… mujhe nahi lagta ke main apne parivaar ko kabhi maaf kar paungi… Preeti ke alawa mera kisise koi rishta nahi hai…”

He wanted to ask about the past, but he knew that it wasn’t the right time. So he just queried, “Preeti bhi hamare school me hi thi na?”

She nodded with a smile, “haan… par alag section me thi…”

He gently probed, “aur Mumbai me koi parivaar nahi hai?”

Her eyes fluttered back to his face, she observed him in silence for a minute and then countered, “tumne itni information nikaali mere baare me… woh information nahi nikaali?” He debated for the briefest moment, but then honestly nodded, wondering if she would ask more. But she didn’t… She simply said, “so jao… bahot late ho gaya hai… Good Night…”

Sameer lay down on the hard floor, slightly perturbed by her questions… It was evident that something major had happened with her family and that experience had left her so bitter that she wasn’t ready to forgive them at all. She wasn’t even ready to talk about them… Her only connection seemed to be with Preeti… And as he recalled how, on his Ahmedabad trip, he had heard Preeti cry to save Naina’s only photograph, he felt relieved that the connection was deep at both ends. It surprised him that Naina didn’t ask about bua-dadi, even though she correctly guessed that he had the information. Was there something at that end too? He knew bua-dadi loved Naina immensely… But was Naina assured of that? Or she thought that when she left that house, bua-dadi had cut off all ties with her? He had no idea what was going through her mind… And she wasn’t ready to talk more… But it was a definite progress for the first time in a week… With that thought in mind he fell asleep…

However sleep was far from Naina’s eyes… She tossed and turned disturbed with memories of past… Each accusation, each slap, each hurtful taunt made their way in her mind… She shouldn’t have discussed about family with Sameer… She shouldn’t have asked him those questions… It irked her that he had found a way to deal with is past demons, but she was still so helpless against them… Those memories still had the capability to make her feel unwanted, worthless, and reminded her that she had no one in her life… The urge to know about bua-dadi was strong, but the fear of rejection was even stronger… And so she hadn’t asked anything… Defeated and dejected she tried to imagine that Sameer was beside her, hugging her, and that lulled her to sleep slowly.

As the clock struck 1am, Sameer was woken up with a loud scream… He jerked upright, scared out of his wits, not sure for a minute where that sound came from… But when he realized that the screams were of Naina, he was even more frightened… What made her scream like that? He quickly got up and rushed inside… Naina was clutching onto a sheet, her body shuddering so hard that it felt like jerks, her face was twisted in a painful expression and the screams tearing from her throat were a sign of excruciating hurt… But her eyes were closed… In a flash he recalled bua-dadi telling him about Naina’s nightmares when she had moved here from Ahmedabad…

He sat down next to her on the mattress, placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, and tried to wake her up, “Naina…”

She gasped aloud, her eyes snapping open, her body still trembling, and she pleaded amid sobs, “maine kuch nahi kiya… please… please…”

“Shsh sweetheart”, he stroked her hair, “dekho main hun Sameer…”

She was still in that zone, “uski galti hai… maine kuch nahi kiya… mujhe mat maaro…”

His voice choked with tears at her anguish, and he grabbed her hand, squeezing in assurance, “Naina koi nahi maarega tumhe… main hun tumhare paas… Sameer… tumhara Sameer… Just look at me sweetheart… I am here…”

Her troubled eyes moved to his face, and she stammered almost inaudibly, “Sa… Sam… Sameer…”

He nodded, rubbing her palm, “yes sweetheart… it’s me… Sameer…”

As realization dawned upon her, she suddenly pushed up from the mattress and flung herself on him. Surprised he fell back on the floor, holding her to him, and she crawled closer, almost on his lap… He let her… Stroking her hair and back, he kept mumbling assurances of being there with her, of loving her… She sobbed on his shoulder, her face hidden in the crook of his neck, her nails clawing on his back as she fisted his t-shirt hard. He rocked her gently, asking her to calm down, telling her he loved her… Slowly after almost ten minutes she calmed down, her hold on his back relaxed, and he felt her body loosen… Her head started to slip back and he quickly cradled her skull in his palm, staring at her tear-streaked face… She had fallen asleep, having found solace in his arms after that heart-wrenching nightmare.

He kept her in his embrace, still sitting on the floor, fearing to part from her… He recalled how she had pleaded to not hit her… Who had done such a horrendous act? He remembered bua-dadi had told him about the marks on her body, her frail condition, her horror… And tonight he had witnessed first-hand the trauma her family had left on her… It made him want to destroy each one of them, slowly and painfully… He wanted to avenge each tear that fell from her eyes, each scream and sob that tore from her throat, each frightened shudder that wracked her body… He wanted to enjoy punishing those people who had hurt her so much…

After fifteen more minutes he slowly placed her on the mattress, stroking her head to keep giving her the assurance of his presence. Taking a quick decision he went to the living room, collected his sheets and cushion and then spread them out beside her mattress in the bedroom. He lay down on the floor, wiped the tears from her face and held her hand… For a long time he just kept staring at her face, making sure she was sleeping properly and then he too fell asleep once more…

The next morning was awkward… Naina woke up to find him sleeping next to her, albeit on the floor… Her hand was held in his firm grip… At first anger started to creep in thinking that he had sneaked in her bedroom, but soon she recalled how she had cried last night and then crawled in his arms… She remembered how he had soothed her, repeatedly told her that he loved her and then rocked her to sleep… The memory spread a searing warmth inside her… She had never been the focus of such tender care and attention… Looking at her peaceful sleeping face she was almost tempted to go back to sleep herself, leave herself in his care…

Mortified at her thoughts she tried to pull back her hand from his hold, but that woke him up… He quickly sat up, his penetrating gaze taking in her features… She bit her lip and looked away, hoping he wouldn’t ask her about last night… Thankfully he didn’t bring that up… Instead he smiled, “good morning… salty biscuits kha liye…?”

She shook her head, grabbing the pack and taking one biscuit out. He stretched, yawned and stood up… She felt her hearts skip beats at the way the t-shirt stretched over his chest and biceps, the way his sleep-messed hair fell on his forehead, the way his voice was husky from sleep, the way his tall frame unwound from the floor… He checked the time, murmured something about being late and quickly folded the sheets. Taking the cushion, he went outside and she knew that he would start his morning routine in kitchen…

Almost an hour later as they were having breakfast, he said, “aaj mujhe aane me thoda late hoga… shaam ko 6pm ko ek meeting hai…”

She nodded, “it’s okay… main train me aa jaungi…”

“No way”, he commanded, “main driver bhijwa dunga car leke tumhe pick karne… And you don’t need to worry… Ekdum bharose wala aadmi hai…”

She tried to argue, “par phir tum kaise aaoge?”

He smiled, “don’t worry… mujhe company ki car drop kar degi ghar… SJM me 5 spare cars hai… executives ko meetings me le jaane ke liye… Especially agar shaam ki meeting ho aur koi female staff attend karne wale ho… It’s for their safety.”

It astounded her that he would think and care for his employees so much… Weren’t they practically strangers for him? She didn’t argue with him after that… Rathe she gave him a spare key of the flat which earned a delighted grin from him. It was a regular day, and since she knew that he would be late in coming home, she planned out for a simple menu of roti, cauliflower-peas sabji and salad. As he promised the car came to pick her up on time, but to her surprise she missed the way he smiled at her every evening, the daily dose of orange juice he brought, the way he asked her if she was alright. He hadn’t been completely away though… Even though he was in office he had called her at the library to tell her that the driver had set off, and instructed her to ask the driver if she needed anything. He had even told her to not put much effort in cooking and offered to get something packed. But she had said she would cook a simple meal… He had paused for a moment, “mujhe aate aate 8pm ho jayega… tumhe bhook lage toh tum kha lena…”

She hadn’t replied but she knew in her heart that she wasn’t eating alone. Once her cooking was done, she checked the time and saw it was still 7:30pm. Today there was some pain in her lower back, which she knew was normal, but she felt that a bath would help. Thankfully the apartment though small was equipped with a shower and a small functional geyser. The unit was cranky and took some time to heat up, but still it was a blessing… She turned the water on to let it warm up, and then shed her clothes… Extending her hand she checked the temperature of the water, and when it was warm enough she stepped under the spray. Immediately she felt her muscles loosen and sighed in relief…

On the other hand, Sameer rang the doorbell once without any response, so he took out the key and unlocked the door. He knew Naina had to be at home, but maybe she had dozed off… He toed his boots off, dumped his bag and shed his jacked… Loosening the tie, he called out, “Naina…”

He checked the kitchen, pulling off the tie and started to unbutton his shirt… Just then the lights went off, turning the small apartment pitch dark, and he heard a scream… “Dammit”, he rushed inside the bedroom, bumping on something along the way, but his primary concern was to reach to her… He realized she was in the bathroom… Slowly his vision adjusted, and he knocked on the bathroom door, “Naina… main hun… darwaza kholo…”

There was no response, but as he stuck his ear to the door he could hear sobs… Naina was crying… He tried to call her again unsuccessfully… Desperate to reach her, he drew back a bit, and hit the door hard with his shoulder… In just two attempts the fragile latch gave way and the door fell open… He stepped inside to find Naina standing under the shower…

Naina covered her face with her hands, sobbing in fear… She hadn’t expected the lights to go off like that… She was petrified, her mind flashing back to the dark store-room where she had spent hours and hours without food and water, without any sense of time, without any comforting warmth… Her ears buzzed… She couldn’t hear anything… Fear gripped her heart and she started to feel dizzy…

Suddenly she felt hands on her shoulder and her mouth opened in a silent scream… She wanted to lash out at the threat… But then a soothing voice spoke in her ear, “relax sweetheart… it’s me… I am here…”

Sameer…

She sagged in relief, falling back on his chest, and his hands moved down her arms, taking her palms away from her face… Her eyes opened to darkness and she whimpered, quickly turning to him and hugging him. He held her, stroking her back just like last night, murmuring lovingly in her ear… The geyser had turned off due to power cut, and the water had turned cold, but she felt warm in his embrace. His body was like a furnace, surrounding her in warmth so alluring that she relaxed against him…

The lights flickered on in a minute, but she never realized it… She could hear his racing heartbeats… His masculine scent enveloped her, and she breathed deep trying to take in his essence. He reached out to turn off the shower, hoping she would step back… Holding her naked body to himself was taking a serious toll on his control. And she seemed to be lost… As much as he loved her attention, this wasn’t the right moment for it.

Her hands moved over his back, feeling the dips in muscles… She turned her head, skimming her lips over the flesh on his chest left bare by his half-open shirt. He gasped in pleasure, completely aroused by her subconscious ministrations. She stood on tiptoe, trying to reach his throat, and he grabbed her waist harder… She whimpered; the sound cutting through his sensual haze and he realized that he needed to step back. She was not in her senses, and if they even kissed in this condition she would hate herself and him… He couldn’t let that happen… She had to be totally with him whenever they took that step forward.

He tried to pull back but it was easier said than done, when she kept rubbing her body against him… Her hips curled over his erection, in a sign of primal acceptance, of an urge to mate… He groaned, his one hand moving to her bottom, curving over the soft naked flesh… Gathering his wits, he called out, “Naina… wait…”

She shivered and then suddenly stilled… He understood that he had succeeded in breaking the spell… Calmly he drew back, trying to keep his expressions neutral, “ek minute yahin khadi raho…”

As he left her standing naked in the bathroom, she trembled with realization of what had almost happened… How could she lose control like this? Wasn’t she the one who had asked him to stay away from her? She didn’t trust him, right? Then how could she behave like a wanton sex-starved woman with him? He had asked her to wait… Why? Was he coming back to finish what they started? What would she do if he wanted sex? It wouldn’t be his fault… She had initiated things… She had touched him, rubbed herself against him, kissed his body… Oh God… What had she done…?

She saw Sameer coming back inside, and quickly tried to cover herself with her arms, and turned her back towards him… She could hear and feel his each step bringing him closer to her… Her eyes squeezed shut, in anticipation or fear, she didn’t know… But to her surprise she felt soft fabric on her shoulders… She opened her eyes to see a fluffy towel that he used to wipe her body as tenderly as he could… It didn’t feel like a violation of dignity or privacy, rather it screamed of care and love… He kept the towel aside and then grabbed a soft cotton gown, a piece that she used to sleep in before Sameer came to stay… He slipped it on her head, helped her put her arms through the sleeves and let if fall, covering her body till her knees. Turning her to him, he picked her up in his arms and carried her out to the bedroom… She kept staring at him in astonishment as he placed her on the mattress and moved a tendril of wet hair from her face. “Wipe your hair”, he instructed as he stood up, “warna thand lag jayegi… Main change karke aata hun.”

Still in a trance she did as he asked, unable to fathom the way he cared for her. He came back in few minutes, dressed in his usual t-shirt and tracks, with a plate of food in his hands. Sitting on the floor in-front of her, he tore off a morsel and fed her… Her gaze still fixed on her in confusion and wonder, she opened her mouth to accept. He smiled softly, alternately feeding himself and her from the same dish… After the food was finished he gave her water, and then asked her to sleep… But this time as he stood up, she grabbed his hand, and asked, “why?”

He sat down next to her once more, and sighed, “as much as it is hard for you to believe, I really do love you Naina… Aur mujhe pata hai tum bhi mujhse pyaar karti ho…”

“No, I don’t”, she promptly refused.

“Yes, you do”, he countered just as firmly and quickly, “tum bas chupa rahi ho… agar tum mere liye kuch feel nahi karti toh bathroom me woh sab nahi karti…”

She narrowed her eyes, “it’s not like tumhe kuch feel nahi hua…”

He quirked a brow, “did I say that?  I love you and yes I want you… but I also know wahan jo hua that was just an automatic response from you… you wouldn’t have wanted it to happen…” She remained silent, unable to refute the truth he spoke. He leaned down and softly kissed her forehead, “you love me, isiliye tum bathroom me mere qareeb aai… And I love you, isiliye maine kuch nahi kiya… Now sleep sweetheart… Good Night…”

She kept watching him, until he switched off the main light, turned on the night bulb and stepped outside… A deep exhale left her lungs and she closed her eyes, her mind immediately switching back to the bathroom where he had held her so tenderly, where she had felt the yearning to feel him… And she knew that he was right… She did love him… Despite all the arguments of her brain, her heart still beat for him and each day he spent here with her, with each of his caring and loving gesture, she was falling deeper and irrevocably in love with Sameer Maheshwari…