Whisky is the Answer Part 3: The Possession

The thunder clapped, and lighting flashed, indicating that the rain was not going to stop anytime soon. From the time Sameer had pulled her inside the car, her heart soared with joy, and she prayed for a miracle that would let her spend some more time with him, so she could try and make him talk. God seemed to be with her today, because half way to her home, the car suddenly stalled.

Naina looked up at Sameer, who was turning the key again and again, but the car engine coughed once and then silence followed. Luckily, they weren’t in the middle of the road, Sameer had just taken a turn in a lane, and they were on the side near a society gate. He banged his fist on the steering wheel. He was already frustrated with whatever was happening since a week, Munna and Pandit’s words had seared him, then Naina’s stubbornness irritated him, and now he was stuck with her. Not that he minded it, but it was a hardship to keep his mouth shut and his emotions in control. More than once he had turned to her with a comment or a question and had only controlled himself at the nick of time. How easy it was to fall back to his original behaviour, to talk to her, to smile when she was with him.

He took the umbrella and stepped out, then went to her side and opened the door. He didn’t waste time is asking her or again arguing with her, he just took her hand and pulled her out, under the cover of the umbrella. He looked around and saw there was a tea stall nearby, he tugged her towards it. There was water logged on the streets, and unknowingly she stepped in a deep puddle. “Ah!”, she exclaimed as she almost lost balance, but he tightened his hold on her hand, and pulled her close. She steadied herself, gripping his shirt with the other hand, and looked up to find him staring at her intently. “Thanks”, she muttered, trying to step back. His trance broke and he turned, walking to the tea stall again.

The small tea stall, was on a raised area, surrounded by four bamboo stems, and a blue tarpaulin stretched over it, a corner tied to each pole. Couple of men had taken shelter and were seated on a bench at the end. Sameer spied three plastic chairs near it and dragged two away from the bench and asked her to sit. He ordered for two cups of tea and saw there was a pot of water kept on a stand, he took the glass and dipped it in the pot to get some water.

“Yeh lo. Apna paav dho lo”, he said offering her the glass.

She looked down and saw mud caked on her foot, and her salwar as she had stepped in the puddle. She took the water and carefully washed the mud off, thinking how he noticed everything about her. He kept the empty glass back and got the small glasses of tea, again offering her one. He had placed his chair a little bit away from her, but when he saw the men eyeing her curiously, he shifted closer, his chair almost touching hers. The wet salwar kameez stuck to her body, her open hair dripped with water, and the jhumkas glittered in her ears. Her face was bereft of any make-up, but she didn’t need it. The glow on her face was natural, and that bold red definitely made her look attractive enough to grab attention. He liked it, but he didn’t like the way others stared at her, it made him want to put an arm around her and glare down everyone who dared to look at her.

She was itching to talk to him, to start conversation, but she knew that if she did he would withdraw. She had noticed how possessively he had come close to her, the attention of those men hadn’t escaped her notice. It had again made her happy, but the silence was overwhelming her. If he didn’t talk within the next minute, she would definitely give in and start talking.

“Congratulations”, he said suddenly, and her heart thudded.

She barely refrained from turning quickly, rather maintained her control and looked over at him with a small smile, “thank you.”

He was unsure what to talk next, “umm… baarish bandh hogi tab shayad koi auto mil jaaye, main tumhe ghar chod dunga.”

She nodded, “tumhari car…??”

“Shayad paani ke wajah se bandh pad gai hai”, he shrugged, “mechanic ko laake check karvana padega.”

“I am sorry”, she kept the empty glass down, “meri wajah se tumhe iss road se aana pada aur yahan phas gaye, warna tumhare ghar ka raasta to alag hai.”

He scowled, “don’t be stupid. Tum wahan akele baarish me khadi thi, main nai chodne aata tumko to aur kaun aata.”

She smiled, “maine to tumse bhi ummeed nai ki thi.”

Something pierced his heart to think that she hadn’t expected even this much from him. “Itna bhi bura nai hun main”, he muttered.

She looked in his eyes, “maine kab kaha ke tum bure ho. Maine to isiliye kaha kyunki ab hamare beech me koi rishta to hai nai to fir tum bhala kyun meri madad karoge.”

He swallowed, not knowing what to say. Helplessly he kept looking at her, his eyes held captive by hers. Finally, she looked away, “kitne achche din the na woh Sameer?”, she sighed looking at the incessant rains.

He looked at the smile on her lips, and knew she was recollecting their moments together. She knew he was staring at her, she could feel his gaze, his undivided attention. Now was the perfect time.

Her smile widened, “tumko pata hai aaj Taiji bhi tumko yaad kar rahi thi. Pooja didi ke shaadi ke photos firse dekhe the to usme tum bhi the na, isiliye.”

He smiled too, recalling the crazy days of wedding preparation, the sweet moments shared with Naina. “Woh gulab ab tak hai mere paas”, she accepted softly, surprising him because right then he had been thinking of the same moment when he had pinned a rose in her hair.

Before he could say something, she wiped a lone tear from her eye, “khair chodo, tumne achcha hi kiya mujhse rishta todke. Bilkul sahi faisla tha tumhara.”

He was taken aback by her statement, “yeh kya keh rahi ho tum?”, he blurted.

She looked at him with tear filled eyes, “sahi keh rahi hun. Jabse tum meri zindagi me aaye ho hamesha mere liye kuch na kuch achcha hi karte rahe ho. Par maine hamesha tumko taklif hi di”, she sniffed, “tum mere liye hamesha lucky rahe ho Sameer, par main kabhi kisike liye lucky nahi ho sakti.”

Sameer was so surprised that he almost dropped the glass he was holding. Carefully, he bent keeping the glass near his chair, “lucky? Aur main?”, he asked curiously.

She nodded, “haan. Dekhona, mere joote kho gaye the woh tumne laake diye the. Fir mujhe Vanasthali nai jaana tha, lekin jaana pad raha tha, par jaise hi tumne mujhse madad maangi meri ichcha puri ho gai aur mera admission cancel ho gaya. Fir hamari dosti hui, chahe jis bhi wajah se shuru hui ho, par tumne mere liye gai ki puch se maar khai, warna uss din to Taiji mujhe pakad hi leti. Fir Pooja didi ki shaadi taye karne me madad ki. Maine kitni baar bhagwaanji se maanga tha ke didi ka rishta ho jaaye, aur unhone tumko meri madad ke liye bhej diya.”

He sat silently, pondering over her statements, unaware of the tears gathering in his eyes, “aur?”, he asked hesitantly.

She smiled at him, “fir tumne meri debate me madad ki, mujhe Mt. Abu aane ka permission dilvaya, jungle me mujhe bachaya, mere liye woh teddy jeeta, mujhe papa se bachaya aur meri izzat ka bhi khayal rakha”, she kept on listing his good deeds, “uss waqt bhi tum chahte to sabko bata sakte the ke main hi tumko apne kamre me le gai thi, tumhara maksad to pura ho jaata, papa ki badnaami, unke parvarish ki beizzati, par tumne aisa nai kiya.”

He swallowed the lump in his throat, “Naina… main…”

She shook her head, “Nai Sameer, bolne do mujhe. Wapas aakar bhi tumne kitne din mere liye sab kuch saha, apni beizzati, Nanu ki beizzati, papa aur bhaiya ke taane, kitna saara kaam karte rahe. Bina kuch bole sab kuch bardaasht karte rahe, sirf mujhse ek maafi ki ummeed me. Aur main tumhe samajhne ke jagah, tumko kosti rahi. Uss waqt bhi tum chahte to mujhe chodke jaa sakte the, aakhir tumhe kahan ladkiyo ki kami hoti kabhi. Par tum date rahe, sab kuch jhelte rahe. Main maan gai, lekin uske baad bhi papa aur bhaiya ki berukhi bardasht ki tumne. Unhone jis tarah dhakke maarke tumko ghar se nikala, koi aur hota to nai sehta yeh sab.”

The rain had slowed down little bit. She stood up and went ahead, leaning against a bamboo pole, and Sameer followed her. She looked at the small rivulets of water on the road, “aur maine kya kiya tumhare liye. Kuch bhi nai. Har pal bas tumko taklif deti rahi. Kabhi tumhari shikayat ki, kabhi tumko chor kaha. Papa ke saamne yeh tak na bol saki ke main khud tumhe padhana chahti thi. Tumko apne ghar me kaam karta dekh, taklif me dekh ke bhi chup rahi, kuch nai kiya kabhi, ulta uss waqt bhi tumhe taane maarti rahi. Jis din tumne mereko apne Naniji ki saree di, Nanu ka aashirwaad kehke, uske dusre din hi Nanaji chal base. Aur dekho, uss waqt bhi main tumhare saath nai thi. Kabhi kabhi to aisa lagta hai ke kaash main tumhare zindagi me aai hi nai hoti, to shayad aaj tumhare Nanu zinda hote. Taiji sach hi kehti hai, main hun hi manhoos, sabke liye. Dekho na, meri maa bhi to mujhe janam dete hue chal basi. Maine kabhi kisiko khushiya nai di, naa apne gharwalo ko, naa tumko.”

She turned away from him, “pehle pehle mujhe bahot dukh hua tha jab tum aisa bartaav kar rahe the. Par fir maine socha, samajhne ki koshish ki. Tab pata chala ke thik hi kiya hai tumne. Jo ladki tumhe khushiya nai de sakti, tumhare zindagi me manhoos saaya banke aai ho uske saath tum kyun koi bhi rishta rakhoge. Taiji thik hi kehti hai hamesha, mujhse bhala koi kaise pyaar kar sakta hai, jali hui kundli hai meri to. Iske baawjud Chachaji, Chachiji aur Preeti mujhse pyaar karte hain, mujhe apna maante hai. Jab bhi Taiji taana maarti hai woh mujhse kehte hai ke main unki apni hun. Shayad isiliye aaj tak kabhi mujhe Taiji ki baate sach nai lagi, par tumhare saath meri wajah se jo kuch bhi hua usse ehsaas hua ke Taiji hamesha sahi kehti thi.”

He felt as if the earth was shifting from beneath his feet. How could Naina think this way? Here he was running away from her because he was unlucky. And she was thinking that she was unlucky for him? And she felt that he had always been lucky for her, had helped her, had made her happy. Wasn’t that what he had wanted? To make her happy. And she was happy when he was with her? He looked at her face. Just then a man came up and asked for time, he checked his watch and told him. He noticed the man looking at Naina, and he immediately slid an arm around her waist.

She was surprised, and looked at Sameer, “chalo yahan se”, he muttered. They stepped out of the cover, back into the rain, and he opened the umbrella once again. He didn’t remove his hand from around her, the way the man had looked had made him uneasy.

“Sameer…tum…mujhe…”, she stammered, unsure how to deal with this sudden proximity, and tried to pry his hand away.

He tightened his hold, “please Naina, pehle yahan se niklo. Tab tak main nai chodne wala tumko.”

She didn’t understand what had happened, but she didn’t object anymore. They kept walking in silence, through the water-logged streets, and finally found an auto after 15 minutes. It started to feel cold when the auto moved, the wet clothes were not helping, and she shivered. “Thand lag rahi hai?”, he asked softly.

She looked up at him, and again noticed the intent expression in his eyes. She nodded. He didn’t say anything more, but instead wrapped his arm securely around her, and pulled her close to him, not caring one bit about what the auto driver would think of them. He rubbed her arm, trying to warm her, and gripped her hand with his other hand, entwining their fingers. She drifted in another world, lost in him, in his touch, in the sudden changed dynamics. Till this afternoon he was running away from her, and now he was holding her so tight that it seemed he would never leave her. She had done all she could, told him everything she had wanted to, except the fact that how much she loved him. But there was no need to tell that, was there? He would already know it. What if he still doesn’t understand? What if he still stays away from her? Tears prickled her eyes, and she tried to wipe them.

Sameer was lost in his own thoughts, his heart thumping with elation of holding her so close. The movement of her hand caught his attention, and he looked down at her. Hooking a finger under her chin, he tilted her head back, and noticed the tears in her eyes. He wanted to say something, but couldn’t organize his thoughts, couldn’t find the proper words. He just wiped the tears with his own fingers and gestured her not to cry. The auto stopped in-front of her society, and she climbed down. He waited till she disappeared inside, and then left from there in the same auto.

The rains never stopped completely. Sameer stood at the window in his room, and kept recalling all the incidents Naina was talking about. If looked at that way, then it did seem that he had done a lot of things for her, but it wasn’t true that she hadn’t done anything for him. How could she think that he was breaking off the relation because she was unlucky for him? Or because she had never given him any happiness? What else was she supposed to think, you dumb fool? Its not like you talked to her.

And what was that she was saying about Nanu? That he had passed away soon after he had given his blessings to her in form of Nani’s saree. Damn this foolish girl. How can she think like that? Wait a minute. Wasn’t he also thinking the same way? That Nanu had died because he loved him. God he would go crazy. He needed to talk to Naina, tell her the real reason of his behaviour. He had to put an end to her foolish thoughts, and maybe his own too. He had tried, God was witness, he had tried his best to stay away from her. But the whole week and especially today had proved to him that, try as much, he cannot stay away from her, he cared too much, loved too much. But what if she didn’t love him anymore? Or worse what if she hates him and rejects him after knowing about his truth? He was scared – scared of rejection, scared that something could happen to her because of him. But this could not go on much longer. He was hurting her, hurting his friends. And more than that his behaviour was forming false beliefs in her head. He determined that would tell her everything, and then let her decide. If she decides that she didn’t want an unlucky person in her life, then he would stay away for her happiness. But if she says yes, if she accepts him, he would never repeat this foolishness ever in his life. He promised himself that he would accept her decision.

He would talk to her tomorrow. No. Now! He looked at the clock, then grabbed his bike keys and donned a raincoat, and stepped out to go to her.

Naina tossed and turned in bed, wondering what would happen tomorrow. Would he talk to her? Or would he again ignore her? Just then she heard two honks from bike, and jumped up from bed, breathing fast. Could it be him? She dashed out to the balcony, and through the rain she saw a form near the telephone booth, it was a boy on his bike. Sameer! He waved and pointed to the telephone booth, she understood and ran inside. She picked up the phone before the first ring was over, carefully looking around to see that no one had awoken with the sound.

“Hello Sameer”, she breathed.

“Mujhe baat karni hai tumse”, he demanded, “abhi.”

She was flustered, “abhi kaise? Kal college me…”

He cut her off, “nai… abhi. Tum niche aao ya to main upar aa raha hun.”

She panicked at the thought. What had happened to him all of a sudden? She closed her eyes, trying to think, find a solution. He sneezed, loudly, and her eyes flew open. Cold. He had caught a cold because of the rains, and still he was here to talk to her. She had to do something. She sighed, “thike, tum upar aao. Lekin seedha terrace pe jaao, main wahi aati hun 10 minutes me.”

He smiled, “okay.” He quickly parked the bike a lane away from her society and walked back, sneaking into her building, and cautiously climbed the stairs. He felt like a teenager Romeo who had come to meet his girlfriend. He almost smiled at the imagination. Maybe he could do that later too, if they are together, if Naina accepts him even after knowing about him.

Naina put some ginger-basil kadha to boil and then woke up Preeti and placed a hand on her mouth, before telling her that Sameer was here. Naturally she screamed, but it was muffled against Naina’s hand. Preeti almost freaked out, but then looking at Naina she calmed down, and told her to do what she needs, she would handle the situation if someone woke up. Naina quickly took a towel, a blanket and the glass of kadha, and tiptoed up to the terrace.

The terrace door led to a covered narrow area, before opening up to a big rectangular open space. Sameer was standing near the door and smiled when she came up. “Ise utar do”, she pointed to the raincoat, “aur joote bhi.” He obediently did as she asked, while she opened the door and kept the things she carried on the floor. Then she picked up his things and stashed them in a corner, out of sight. He went through the door and sat down on the floor without any hesitation. She carefully crossed him and sat on the outer edge that opened up to the terrace, so that the rain and cold didn’t reach him. He frowned, “tumhe thand lagegi.”

“Shardi mujhe nai, tumhe hui hai”, she stated calmly, handing him the towel.

He took it and rubbed his head and face and was surprised when she handed him the kadha next. One sneeze, just one sneeze and she was caring for him so much. It almost made it worth to have a blocked nose. He turned to sit facing her, extending his legs as much as he could, supporting them on the opposite wall. She waited patiently, while he sipped the kadha.

He looked at her, wondering how to start, “meri dadi ka kehna hai ke main manhoos hun”, he stated the core of the matter, and waited for her to reject him.

She was surprised. She hadn’t expected him to be so direct. She looked in his eyes, trying to understand, and saw the confusion, pain and anguish. He was waiting. For what? Did he think she would be shocked on hearing this? Or did he think that she would recoil from him and reject him? He lowered his eyes, and she understood that, that was exactly what he was waiting for. Yep, stupid stubborn mule.

She scoffed, “yeh wahi dadi hai na jisne tumhe phone use nai karne diya, tumhara pizza kutte ko khila diya, aur tumko baasi khana khilaya. Wahi jiski wig tumne utaari aur fir usne tumhare baal katwa diye dhoke se. Wahi dadi jisne mere bune hue sweater ko pocha bana diya.”

He glared at her, not appreciating that she reminded him of all those incidents, “tum kehna kya chahti ho? Aur yeh sab baato ka kya matlab hai isse?”

She rapped her knuckles against his temple. “Ow!”, he exclaimed, “kya kar rahi ho?”

“Check kar rahi hun ke akkal andar hi hai ab tak, ya kahin chod aaye ho”, she replied annoyed, “tumko samajh nai aa raha ke jo khadoos budhiya tumhare saath itna kuch kar sakti hai, woh tumko manhoos bhi bula hi sakti hai. Aur tum gadho ki tarah unki baat maan gaye.”

His eyes widened in surprise, he thought about it, “par mummy bimar pad gai thi, aur mujhe Ahmedabad bhej diya tab thik ho gai.”

She rubbed her own forehead, cursing his foolishness, “to mummy ne tumko Ahmedabad bhej diya kyunki woh bimar thi, aur unko laga ke tumhari manhoosiyat ke wajah se aisa hua hai?”

He shook his head, “nai nai… woh to mujhse bahot pyaar karti hai. Isiliye mujhe wahan udaas nai dekh saki, to wapas bhej diya yeh kehke meri khushiya Ahmedabad me hai.”

“Ahan”, she smiled, “to maa ko apne manhoos bete se pyaar hai. Aur Rohan aur Deepika ka kya? Unko to lagta hoga na ke manhoos sautela bada bhai ghar se chala gaya to shanti hui?”

He frowned, “nai… unka to phone bhi aata hai har hafte. Dono kehte hai ke woh mujhe miss kar rahe hai. Aur Rohan to ro bhi raha tha, jab main wapas aa raha tha”, he smiled hesitantly, “tumhe pata hai Rohan apni padhai ka timetable chodke, dadi ki baat mane bina, mujhe airport chodne aaya tha.”

She tilted her head thoughtfully, “hmm… to iska matlab, Delhi ke ghar me teen log tumse pyaar karte hai aur tumhe ab tak miss karte hai. Yahan Ahmedabad me…”, she counted the names of their friends on her fingers, “… 4 dost tumhari fikar karte rahe, tumhe miss karte rahe. Aur ek to koi pagal ladki bhi thi jo tumse pyaar karti rahi, tumhara intezaar karti rahi. Lekin tum unn sabko chodke, ek aisi aurat ki baat maante rahe jo tumko zara bhi pasand nai karti, aur jiske baare me tum jaante ho ke woh tumhe pareshan karneke liye kuch bhi kar sakti hai.”

She clapped sarcastically, “wow Sameer. Maanna padega tumko. Tumse bada bewakuf maine aaj tak nai dekha.”

He sat silent, finishing the kadha, and thinking. She leaned against the wall, keeping her eyes closed, trying not to cry. He kept the glass away, then asked slowly, “woh pagal ladki ab tak mujhse pyaar karti hai kya?”

She didn’t open her eyes, not yet, “tumhe kya lagta hai?”, she asked just as softly.

“Mujhe darr lagta hai”, he accepted, his voice trembling with tears.

Finally, she opened her eyes, and on seeing his tears she melted. She shifted, sitting cross-legged, then tugged at his hand, patting her leg. He obeyed, lying on the floor and keeping his head on her lap. She didn’t say anything, didn’t ask anything, she just stroked her fingers through his hair. Slowly he started to speak, telling her everything in details, about what happened in Delhi, his decision of not speaking to her, his fears of losing her forever like Nanu, the way he had refrained himself from talking to her in college, his unintentional flirting that had hurt her, and today’s incidents that had irked him, confused him, and then finally how he had decided to talk to her, so that she doesn’t think she is unlucky and wait for her to reject him given he was the one who was unlucky.

As the heart professed, the flood gates of eyes also opened, and the sky accompanied them, pouring ceaselessly, as if wanting to reach a conclusion itself. “Paagal ho tum”, she said through her tears, when she could finally speak. He didn’t respond, and she noticed that he had fallen asleep. She smiled, staring at his tear-streaked face for a moment, then opened the blanket, wrapping an end around herself and covering his torso with the other, she closed her eyes, leaning on the wall, and after a few minutes fell asleep herself, her fingers buried in his hair.

The floor was hard, and Sameer turned trying to find a comfortable position, but the movement caused him to wake up. He blinked, staring at the unfamiliar ceiling, and frowning at the sound of water. Rain. It was raining. And he had come to meet Naina. He moved, tilting his head back, and realized he was sleeping on her lap, and her fingers were in his hair. He reached up, touching her hand, and smiled. She loved him. The smile widened to a grin. She still loves you; you stupid fool.

He checked his watch, 4am. He had spent the whole night sleeping like this, and she hadn’t woken him up. He carefully removed her hand and the blanket and sat up. Her head was tilted to one side, and her open hair curtained her face. He slowly tucked the silky strands behind her ear, “Naina”, he whispered. She woke up at the sound of his voice, and saw him awake, sitting close to her, his fingers lightly touching her cheek. She waited patiently, and he slowly leaned closer, brushing his lips on her forehead, giving her the first soft lingering kiss. She closed her eyes, cherishing the feel, and tears leaked from her eyes, as her lips curved in a smile. He drew back, cupped her face with both hands, rubbing the tears with his thumbs, “tum unlucky nai ho. Tum meri life ka sabse best part ho”, he assured her.

She opened her eyes, and covered his hands with her own, “aur tum meri life ka Sameer. Sirf best hi nai, luckiest bhi.”

He smiled, finally starting to believe. He tugged her hand, silently questioning, and was taken aback when she grinned and flung her arms around him. He held her, feeling extremely happy with the moment.

“Sameer… I…”, she started to say, but he stopped her.

“Shh… Is baar main pehle bolunga”, he pulled back, looking at his watch, “lekin abhi nai, shaam ko. Aaj freshers party hai. Ms. Naina Agarwal, kya tum mere saath chalogi?”, he asked extending his hand to her. She smiled, placing her hand in his, and nodded, “yes!”

He grinned, and quickly hugged her again, then stood up to leave. The rain had slowed down to a drizzle, he put on his raincoat, and boots, and left from there after telling her that he would call her later.

She too sneaked inside the house and after washing and cleaning the glass and saucepan she had used to make kadha, she went back into her room and fell asleep. Two hours later she was being shaken by Preeti, who wanted to know what happened at night. She told him that Sameer has finally understood, and he had asked her to accompany him at the freshers party. Preeti hugged her sister, and they immediately started to make plans for the evening. They had planned to get ready at Swati’s house, since obviously, Taiji would freak out if they put on even the slightest bit of make-up or wear modern dresses.

Sameer planned out the evening and decided to meet Naina right at the party. He wanted to tell their friends together that everything was alright between them. At the other end, Naina had already called Munna, and told him Sameer was back to his senses, but there was one thing that needed to be disclosed now. He didn’t know about the plans and tricks of the past one week, and also the reality about the whisky. Well, the evening was going to turn out to be an interesting one…