Whisky is the Answer Part 2: The Confusion

The rains lashed outside, a heavy curtain, accompanied with the occasional thunder. The classroom was filled with chattering students, while JBR wrote down the rules of accounting for the students to copy. Naina was busy in her notes, when she felt a big warm hand grip her left hand, and the gaps between her fingers were filled with a familiar feeling. She blushed looking up sideways in Sameer’s eyes. He smiled, and gestured to the incessant rains with his eyes, then turned his expression into a pleading one, as if requesting her to go outside with him. She couldn’t help but smile at his antics, and wrote something in her notebook, sliding it toward him. He read it, “class ke baad”, and frowned, scribbling down, “nai abhi.” Before she could reply, she felt his hand being tugged out of her own and saw that Sunaina was holding his hand pulling him away from her. She got up, wanting to follow and get him back, but he was gone.

NO!

Naina panted, eyes wild, her hands clutching her own dress, sweat beading on her forehead. She looked around and realized she was dreaming, thankfully Preeti was still sleeping. She checked the clock, 4am, still some time to get up, but sleep was gone from her eyes. She got up and went to the balcony, taking gulps of fresh air, she looked at her own hands, and melancholy settled in her heart as she remembered how his hand had held hers, but it was a dream. In reality, Sameer was not even talking to her, forget holding hands. Tears pooled in her eyes, but she wiped them immediately. This wasn’t a time for crying. Not now, when she knew that Sameer loved her. It wasn’t his fault; all of this was happening because of his heartless grandmother. How could anyone be so cruel, as to tell a boy that he is unlucky for his own family. Taiji’s words suddenly rang in her ears, and she sighed, well looks like Sameer was not alone in hearing that kind of words. She too had heard them most of her life, but then she hadn’t ever paid any attention to them. Why? Why hadn’t it affected her? She had felt bad, but whenever Taiji taunted her, it was followed by reassurances from Chachiji and Chachaji. And of course, Preeti never left her side. Family; if some in her family had blamed her, then some had reassured her. Wasn’t there anyone in Delhi who could have reassured him? His mother, his brother. No. She knew Sameer. He wouldn’t share his pain with anyone. Especially if he thought it could hurt someone he loved.

Earlier too, he had bottled up so much inside him, and he wouldn’t have shared anything with her if it hadn’t been for the closeness they had developed because of his bet. Still he had hidden his insecurity. She had known his sadness, of not having a proper family. But the insecurity of his loved ones leaving him was known to her only because she had caught him at a vulnerable time in Mt. Abu. He had been disturbed with his own actions, afraid of hurting her, and on top of that part of his world had come crumbling down when his mother hadn’t acknowledged him as her son, the rest of it had collapsed with her love confession and bet revelation. He tries to be a man about everything, wanting to bear it all on his shoulders, but in truth he was a child, with a heart that craved and yearned for affection and attention. She had filled that space, making him feel loved, cared for, and he had returned every bit of her love, making her world beautiful. And now, he was depriving himself of everything, because he thought that’s the only way he could protect her.

She wanted to hit him, scold him, then hug him tight, letting him know that she would never leave him, even if he wanted her to. But he wasn’t even ready to listen to her. She needed to think of something else. She needed to make him understand that all these superstitions didn’t stand a chance in-front of their love. As the sky began to lighten, she formed a plan, to get Mr. Sameer Maheshwari’s haywire senses back in order.

Preeti stuffed her books in her bag, “Naina, tujhe lagta hai aisa karne se jijaji samajh jayenge? Aisa na ho ke unko aur zyada dukh ho”, she felt it was her duty to warn her sister of the other consequences of her plan.

Naina lined her eyes with kajal carefully, “dukh to hoga Preeti, lekin sirf Sameer ko nai, mujhe bhi utna hi dukh hoga”, she adjusted her dupatta, “par yeh zaruri hai, sirf mere aansu se ya pyaar jatanese Sameer pighalne nai wala, kyunki usko lagta hai ke woh mujhe bacha raha hai.”

Preeti shook her head again at her jijaji’s foolishness, then thought for a moment, and agreed to Naina’s plan. They met Swati, Kamya and Hema at the bus stand and informed them of the plan. Swati was shocked at first, then just like Preeti she too agreed. Sameer’s idiocy had gone on long enough. It was time to bring it to an end. “Bas ek hi problem hai”, Swati said sadly, “tere iss plan ke chakkar me main bhi Munna se baat nai kar paungi.”

Naina smiled slightly, “sorry yaar. Main samajh sakti hun. Tu firse sochle ek baar.”

Swati shook her head, and hugged Naina, “nai yaar, tere aur jijaji ke liye kuch bhi”, she pulled back, “waise bhi kuch hi din ki baat hai, Sameer tujhse dur reh hi nai sakta.”

Sameer was standing with Munna and Pandit, rubbing his forehead, the whisky was showing its after effect. He had a splitting headache since he had woken up. Munna and Pandit also had headaches, but curiously their eyes weren’t as red as his own. He tried to think why so, but then gave up, he didn’t think he was capable of thinking anything today. Pandit nudged Munna and signalled to do something, Munna just shrugged. They had woken up in the morning, and decided to wait until Naina showed up, they didn’t know what to do or say anymore. Thankfully, Sameer hadn’t asked anything about last night, which meant he didn’t remember anything. Not his confession, not his phone conversation with Naina. Munna gestured Pandit towards the gate, and they saw the girls entering. However, none of the girls even looked towards them, and went past as if they didn’t exist. They were surprised, curious, but when they looked at Sameer, they saw that he was shocked.

I… I love you

The words rang in his brain since he had woken up. When had she said this? No no. It must be a dream. Yes, that’s it, a dream formed by his whisky fogged brain. It didn’t help that the headache he had was troubling him too. He was just about to tell Munna and Pandit that he needed to sit, when he saw Naina coming in with the other girls. God, she looked beautiful. Why had she worn that particular pink salwar-kameez? Did she know how much he had liked seeing her in that in Mt. Abu? No, it must be a coincidence. But, wow. She looked even more beautiful today, with her open hair, and eyes lined with kajal. He waited for her to come close enough. Every day without fail she would greet him and try to talk to him. He didn’t respond, but those moments gave him immense happiness. But she didn’t come near him, she didn’t even spare him a glance, she just kept walking and left like she hadn’t even seen him.

The trio went in the class, and Sameer’s eyes helplessly sought her. He found her sitting in the adjacent row, but a couple of benches behind, she was chatting animatedly with Preeti. He frowned. Why did she sit so far? And she looked so happy. Sunaina caught his eye, and she thought he was looking at her, so she waved a hi, and he returned the gesture. Naina didn’t miss it, and even though she seethed from inside, she didn’t let it show, successfully managing to keep her expression neutral as she tucked her hair behind her ears and twirled a pen. Sameer turned back to the front, wondering about her indifference.

During the break, when Sameer went to the washroom, the girls quickly informed Munna and Pandit of their plan. “Thike bhabhi”, Pandit looped an arm around Munna.

“Bhabhi nai Naina”, Preeti admonished. Pandit bit his tongue, nodding. Munna looked morosely at Swati, “aye pandat, mereko bhul mat jaana, bas thode din hi baat nai karenge.” Swati blushed and nodded in agreement.

Later, a debate competition was announced, it was to be held in a week. It was between the different sections in their own college, a preparation for the inter-college fest that would be held later in the year. An initial selection round would be held a day later to decide who would represent from each class. Naina participated, despite the jeers of Kartik and gang, saying it required English and not Hindi. Sameer clenched his fists wanting to defend Naina, but unable to do so. In the last period when the teacher didn’t arrive, everyone went to practice for the upcoming fresher’s party. The best dressed and best dancer, male and female would be awarded Mr and Ms Fresher respectively. Sameer thought Naina would approach him, request or demand to be her dance partner, or at least try that way out to make him talk. But to his extreme surprise and disappointment she didn’t. Neither of the girls did, the boys were left all alone. He looked at Munna’s sad face and felt a pang in his heart, his act was destroying his friend’s budding relationship too. Naina wasn’t talking to him. No, he wasn’t talking to Naina. But now, the girls were not even talking to Munna and Pandit.

“Sameer, dance nai karna to hato beech me se”, Preeti chided. He looked at her shocked. Preeti always called him jijaji, without fail, sometimes even when other people were around. But now even when no one else could listen, she was calling him Sameer. He moved to give her space, staring curiously at the girls. Kamya caught Naina’s hand and twirled her. Naina laughed, her hair and dupatta flying with each twirl. Once she was so close to him, that her dupatta touched him, and he could smell her, his nostrils flared, the remnant effect of whisky intensified by her proximity. But it was too short-lived.

That evening, Naina hugged Preeti and cried. It pained her to ignore Sameer like that. Yet she could see the effect from the morning itself. The eyes that were once turned away from her, were searching her now, following her each move. She had succeeded in gaining his attention. There was more to come. More pain for him and for her.

Sameer too was confused and uneasy with the changes. Her unwavering attention was like a balm to his ailing heart, and now it seemed he had lost it too. Maybe she was very much hurt by his impulsive flirting with that girl. He had made her cry. And now maybe she had finally accepted that he didn’t deserve her. But what would he do without her? She was his life. He shook his head, forcefully stopping his thoughts from going in that direction, he had decided to stay away from her, and that’s what he would do. And now, when she was staying away from him as well, he should be happy.

The next day, he tried to remain happy the whole day, but he kept failing miserably. Naina’s indifference was getting to him. She smiled, played, laughed, joked with everyone but the three of them. Munna and Pandit had tried to talk to them only to be ignored, and that had hurt him more. What was he doing? Not only had he broken up his own relationship but had also caused friends to separate. He felt ashamed of himself. Another thing happened that day, that wiped the smile of his face, Naina collided with Kartik. She would have fallen, if Preeti hadn’t held her quickly. Instinctively, he had also stood up immediately to help her. Kartik sneered at her, asking if that was her way of trying to gain boy’s attention. The hurt that had flashed on Naina’s face had made him restless. He had wanted to soothe her, talk to her, but had held himself back.

Naina had been shaken with the incident, but she hadn’t failed to notice Sameer’s reaction. It hadn’t been intentional, Kartik had just appeared out of nowhere, and she had hated even that much accidental contact with him. But unknowingly, it had served a major purpose. She had understood that Sameer would try and come to terms with her behaviour, try to convince himself that it was for good, but she couldn’t let him accept it. She had succeeded to an extent, but the incident with Kartik had clinched the trap.

The next day, was the initial selection for debate. And that turned everything around. Naina was fluent in English speaking, which none of their classmates, except her friends and Sameer knew. When she had spoken, her knowledge, and her way of speaking had impressed not just the teacher but quite a few students as well. She had successfully altered the impression of a stupid Hindi medium student. Sameer clapped the loudest, when she was selected, he couldn’t help himself. Naina noticed but refrained from reacting.

Couple of days passed, and the debate competition between sections was also won by Naina, now she would represent their college in the final competition later. Sameer was overjoyed but couldn’t even talk to her. On the other hand, the days were taking a toll on Naina. How long could she laugh through this pain? Even her achievements didn’t mean anything without Sameer. She could see he was happy for her, but he didn’t even try to talk once. Just a congratulation would also have been enough, not as a boyfriend but as a classmate at least. Stubborn stupid boy, she thought irritated, surreptitiously wiping a trickle of tear from her eye.

Naina stood at one corner of the practice hall, bravely smiling, trying not to show how sad she was. Sameer looked at her, wondering about the hint of sadness in her eyes. Was she missing him? Or did something happen? Couldn’t he congratulate her once? The days were like hell anyways. Munna and Pandit had stopped addressing her as bhabhi, and every time he heard her name from their mouth, it pinched him, reminding him that Naina was no longer his. The girls avoided them, or when they had to speak they addressed him as Sameer, again causing his heart to wrench. To top that, the attention Naina was receiving ever since the initial debate selection was making him uneasy, and it had increased in manifold after her win today. There were several boys who had suddenly started talking to her, on the pretext of congratulating her, and it was irritating him. He thought that it didn’t really help that she was wearing red, and at least to him she looked gorgeous. He was itching to go stand next to her and keep an eye on every boy who came to talk.

Just then he noticed Kartik taking a break from dance and go stand next to Naina. He too stopped dancing, eyes narrowed, and he shifted closer to hear, forgetting that he had to stay away from her.

“Hi”, Kartik said.

Naina was lost in her own thoughts, the greeting jolted her, and she looked up in surprise, “uhh… hi.”

Kartik moved a hand through his hair, much like Sameer did, then extended his hand to her, “congratulations, for the debate. Main to surprise ho gaya ke hindi medium se hote hue bhi tum itni achchi English jaanti ho.”

Naina noticed Sameer, her heart thudded and she tried to maintain her composure. She smiled slightly, and shook Kartik’s hand, “thank you. Hamare school me sab kuch sikhne ke liye encourage karte the students ko. English bhi. Hum Shakespeare ke plays bhi karte the.”

“Oh wow! That’s great”, he exclaimed least interested in Shakespeare, “waise tum dance bhi achcha kar leti ho. Fresher’s party me kiske saath jaogi?”

Sameer clenched his fists, moving even closer. Naina was overjoyed, but at the same time alarm signals clanged in her brain. She didn’t want Sameer to fight with Kartik. She also didn’t want Kartik to have any impression that she was interested in him, or worse trying to gain his attention. She kept her expressions neutral, “apne friends ke saath. Ab excuse me, ghar jaane ka waqt ho gaya hai”, she moved away from him, going to Preeti and others.

Sameer stood there, watching Kartik watch Naina. Soon the girls left. Munna came up to him, “kya dekh raha hai kabse?”

“Kartik kuch zyada hi interest le raha hai Naina me”, he blurted, incensed by what he had witnessed.

Munna sighed, “tujhe kya hai usse? Tune to usko chod diya hai na? To ab itna bhadak kyun raha hai. Dekh Naina zyada fashionable nai hai, lekin usme akkal hai, aur college ke ladke shakal ke saath saath kabhi kabhi akkal bhi dhundte hai. Aur ab to usne debate competition bhi jeet liya, matlab sabko pata hai ke woh kitni hoshiyar hai.”

Sameer looked furious, “to iska matlab yeh to nai na ke who kisise bhi baat karegi. Khaas kar ke uss Kartik se. Usko samajh nai aata ke mujhe kaisa lagega?”

Pandit, who had come over to them, now crossed his arms glaring at Sameer, “tune kabhi socha tha ke teri harkato se Naina ko kaisa lagega? Jab woh tere peeche peeche aa rahi thi tab tune usko dur kar diya. Aur ab jab woh dur chali gai to woh bhi tujhse bardasht nai ho raha.”

Munna too joined him, “tune Naina ko to khudse dur kar diya. Par saath hi saath hum logo se bhi hamare dost cheen liye. Bhagwaan kasam agar tujhse dosti nibhane ki kasam nai khaai hoti na to unn ladkiyo ke liye hum tera bhi saath chod dete. Tujhko to andaaza bhi nai hoga ke unn par kya beeti hogi. Tune kahan Naina ko teri yaad me tadapte hue dekha hai ya tere bartaav ke wajah se usko rote hue dekha hai, unn logo ne dekha hai, aur humne dekha hai. Jab tak tu Delhi me tha, tab tak to hum sabne milke Naina ko sambhal liya tha. Par tere wapas aane ke baad usko teri zarurat thi, aur tune kya kiya? Har din jis ladki ne tere intezaar me bitaya, tujhse kiye hue waade nibhati rahi, uska dil tune ek pal me tod diya. Aur ab jab woh tere bina khush rehna sikh rahi hai to tujhe usme bhi taklif hai. Humne kabhi socha nai tha ke tu itna khudgarz niklega.”

Pandit clapped Munna on his back, “chod na yaar Chenu. Isko nai dikhne wala Naina ka dard. Dikhta to itne din dur nai rehta. Woh Sameer koi aur tha ko kehta tha ke woh kabhi Naina ke aankh me aansu nai dekh sakta, aur kabhi uska saath nai chodega.”

They left from there, leaving Sameer to his anguish. Naina was standing just outside the hall and had heard everything. Munna faltered on seeing her, “bhabhi aap?”

Naina had tears in her eyes, “tum dono ne Sameer ko itna sab kyun bola? Tumko pata hai na ke uski galti nai hai. Tum dono bhi uska saath chod doge to kaise chalega?”

“Bhabhi humne uska saath nai choda”, Munna assured, “lekin kuch baate usko bolna bhi zaruri tha. Aap fikar mat karo. Hum kal wapas sambhal lenge.”

Naina was not convinced. She stood there, keeping an eye on Sameer, who stood lost. Suddenly he collapsed on his knees, crying. Naina watched him, her heart screaming to run to him, and envelope him in a hug, assure him that everything was alright, that he was not bad. But she didn’t. Not even when tears ran down from her own eyes. Ten minutes passed, but he didn’t get up, and concerned Naina took a step towards the classroom. He immediately shuddered, looking up, and she acted quick as a flash hiding herself from view.

“Naina”, she heard his whisper. Footsteps sounded, and she ran into the next classroom. Peering from the gap in door, she saw him in the corridor, looking around, he thought for a moment, then shook his head. “Nai Sameer, jo ho raha hai wahi sahi hai”, he consoled himself, aloud. Naina heard him and was so frustrated that she wanted to hit him with something.

It had started to rain, Preeti and the other girls were waiting for Naina. “Chal jaldi, zoro ki baarish shuru ho gai hai”, Swati said as soon as she saw Naina.

Naina narrowed her eyes, staring at the rain, it reminded her of her dream this morning, “nai, tum log jao, aur yeh mera bag bhi le jao. Main baad me aaungi.”

Preeti was surprised, “kya? Tu pagal ho gai hai Naina? Itni baarish me tu yahan kya karegi?”

Naina just said that she needed to do something, and asked Preeti to tell Chachiji that she was occupied because of some work related to the debate competition. She even refused to keep an umbrella with her. Defeated in-front of her determination, the other girls left. She saw them leave through the gate and disappear, and sighed, “alright Mr. Maheshwari, let’s see tumko meri kitni fikar hai. Tum ziddi ho sakte ho, lekin tumne meri zidd nai dekhi ab tak”, she muttered to herself, and stepped out in the rain.

Sameer came outside, frowning at the rains. He had searched for Munna and Pandit all over the college, but they had left. He sighed, opening the umbrella, and stepping out to go to his car. A flash of red caught his attention, and eyes narrowed, he saw Naina standing near the gate, looking out at the road. What the hell. What was she doing? Why hadn’t she left yet? She didn’t even have an umbrella. Damn it. Fool. She would catch a cold, and fever. He panicked, quickly opening his car door, and sitting inside.

He took only a moment to decide, before starting the car and driving up to her. Nothing mattered. Not his resolution. Neither dadi’s words. All that mattered in his world right now was to ensure that Naina was safe. He stopped beside her, and slid down the window, “Naina”, he shouted to get her attention.

She looked at him, her eyes widened slightly, but then she turned her face away. He called again, but she ignored and moved a couple of steps away. “Ziddi pagal ladki”, he muttered as he grabbed the umbrella and stepped out. He went to her, and stood close so that the umbrella covered them both, “yahan kya kar rahi ho? Chalo main ghar chod deta hun tumko.”

She didn’t reply and tried to step away again. He blocked her way, “paagal mat bano. Chalo yahan se.”

“Mujhe tumhare saath kahin nai jaana, main auto le lungi”, she stated looking at him.

He was furious, “iss baarish me auto kya tumhare papa leke aayenge? Akkal nai hai kya tumme? Aise bheegogi to bimar pad jaogi. Abhi isi waqt car me betho…warna…”, he left the threat and sentence incomplete.

She raised her eyebrows, “warna kya?”

His eyes narrowed, as he tilted his head to look at her, and then he stepped out of the umbrella, letting himself get soaked. Naina stared at him, panic settling in her heart. Oh No! He can’t get wet. He catches cold too quickly. She almost took a step towards him, but on seeing the quick flash of triumph in his eyes, she stopped. Damn the boy. He knew she would be worried for him, and he was trying to use it to convince her. Not this time. She wouldn’t bend this time. Stubbornly she looked away, and stepped back, so that she too was not under the umbrella. He looked at her, a minute passed, then he cursed closing the umbrella, and grabbed her hand, literally pulling her to the car. She smiled slightly, following him. She had no choice but to follow, his hold on her hand was tight enough to hurt, but that pain assured her of his love.

He opened the door and pushed her inside, slamming the door close. She watched him circle the bonnet and come to the driver’s side. He sat inside, and started the car, still muttering curses under his breath. Her heart was leaping with joy, but she kept her head down, lest he saw the traces of happiness in her eyes. He drove in silence, and halfway to her home, the car suddenly stalled…