Sameer “Swag” Maheshwari Part 1: A Decision

Number 18 was said to be denoting the emotion of sacrificing self to fulfill a larger vision; a number in some mythology representing slavery and bondage. Sameer Maheshwari didn’t know all this, and never even thought about meaning behind numbers but Naina’s 18^th birthday had rocked the very foundation of his life. A beautiful day had transformed into a bad evening, a worried night, and then the worst morning of his life. On her birthday he had promised her a lifetime of happiness, of togetherness, a home of their own, a life where they both would be happy… But how would he know that while he was making those promises, somewhere in parallel events were taking place that would ultimately render everything futile.

Arjun and Shefali’s love affair had almost been disclosed, and while Shefali had had the courage to stand up and accept, Arjun had instead chosen to deny and lie… His cowardness had made Shefali give up and leave. And there had been the immense melodrama of Rakesh sir who had tried to hang himself, or at least that’s what Sameer had heard from Naina. Nothing had happened to Rakesh sir or Arjun… But, somehow Naina had decided that she won’t have the courage to put her family through the same pain, and she had been troubled with dreams of Chachaji trying to hang himself… And so she had decided to end her relationship with Sameer.

Sameer had been in complete denial, thinking it was just a phase, she had been scared, but after few days he had lost his patience. The arguments that had ensued had hurt him, as she had repeatedly mentioned how their love was not important in-front of her family’s respect, Chachaji’s trust. He had always known that for Naina, her family had mattered a lot, but he had also believed in her love and so he had persisted in his attempts to make her snap out of her weird decision. But yesterday her words had broken his heart…

Naina had insisted that everything had ended, and that she couldn’t hurt her family… She had asked him, “Kal jab poori duniya mere parivaar ka sharam se jhuka hua sir dekhegi tab kya hoga? Socha hai tumne?”

He hadn’t known what to answer, still he had tried, “Naina hum pyaar karte hai ek dusre se… Hum gharwalo se baat karenge na… Pyaar karna koi galat baat toh nahi hai.”

She had insisted, “achcha, bura, sahi, galat mujhe kuch nahi pata… main bas itna jaanti hun ke main Chachaji ka bharosa nahi tod sakti… Mere liye pyaar se pehle meri family hai… Aur isiliye ek baat kaan kholke sunn lo… Naa main tumhe jaanti hun, naa tum mujhe jaante ho… Balki bhool jao ki hamare beech kabhi kuch tha… Baat khatam…”

Her each word had seared through him… Her decisive tone when she said that her family had more priority over their love had made his temper spike… And as she had tried to leave, he had grabbed her arm, and pulled her back, “ek minute… Tumhe kya lagta hai main koi khilona hun… Jab marzi aaye khel liya, jab marzi aaye rakh diya, jab marzi aaye phenk diya…”

Her eyes had widened in surprise, and she had tried to explain, “Sameer dekho…”

But he was way past the point of just listening to her, and so he had roared, somehow extremely gratified when she had flinched in fear, “chup! Bilkul chup… Naina, teen saal se tum pyaar pyaar pyaar… pyaar ka gaana gaa rahi ho… Aur ab ekdum se tumne uss gaane ka sur badal diya… Ms. Naina Agarwal, yeh jo pyaar ki kahani hai na yeh hamari hoti hai… Tumhari aur Meri… Sirf tumhari ya sirf meri nahi… Aur iss kahani ka ant likhneka adhikaar na sirf tumhe ya sirf mujhe nahi hai… Tumne apne baare me toh soch liya… Lekin mera kya? Meri feelings, mere emotions… uska kya? Mere chachaji, mere gharwale, mera bhai, meri behen… Aree meri bhi ek family hai… Unki bhi society me izzat hai… Aur woh bhi bharosa karte hai mujhpe… Toh kya karu? Yeh sab sochke chod du tumhe? Chod du apne pyaar ko aise hi? Aur ek baat aur… iss pyaar ki shuruwat tumne ki thi… iss kahani ki shuruwat tumne ki thi… Mere liye toh yeh sirf ek khel aur ek shart thi… Phir pata hi nahi chala ke kab yeh khel, kab yeh shart pyaar me badal gaya… Aur tum hi thi woh ladki jisne mujhse kaha tha ki agar pyaar kiya toh darna kya… Toh phir tum kyun darr rahi ho? Yaad hai jab main Delhi gaya tha, aur dadi ki baate sunke main tumse dur rehne laga tha… Tab tum thi, jisne mujhe samjhaya, jisne meri soch badli, ke relax Sameer, sab theek ho jayega. Kyun? Haan… Kyun? Yeh din dikhane ke liye… Jab main chahungi tab main tumse milungi, jab main chahungi tab main tumhare saath film dekhne chalungi, jab main chahungi tab tumse phone pe baat karungi… Main, main, main… Sirf main… Aur aaj… Aaj tumne itni asaani se apni marzi chaladi… Ke Sameer main na apne gharwalo ki bahot izzat karti hun… Agarwal aur Maheshwari ki shaadi nahi ho sakti… Aree toh yeh baat tumhe teen saal me ab yaad aai? Ke tum Agarwal ho aur main Maheshwari?”

Tears had leaked from her eyes, threatening to melt him, but he had managed to control his emotions, and mocked, “yeh rone ka natak na apne gharwalo ke saamne karna…”

“Natak nahi hai yeh”, she had instantly retaliated, “dard hai… Wahi dard jo tumhe bhi ho raha hai… Par mere paas yeh dard dur karne ka aur koi rasta nahi hai…”

And then she had left from there… He had tried in vain to control his own tears, struggling to make himself believe that all was lost. The love that had taught him to live, to be calm, to be a better person was now gone. The approaching darkness was bleak and frightening. Even Munna and Pandit’s hugs and assurances had not been able to lift his mood.

Naina had also broken down, her fragile heart tugging in two different directions… She knew she had hurt Sameer and she wanted to take her words back, tell him that she loved him, would always love him. But on the other hand, the images from her nightmare haunted her; she couldn’t understand how to deal with it… If something happened to Chachaji because of her then she won’t be able to bear it. What should she do? Was there any way that wouldn’t hurt everyone?

However, her pain hadn’t ended at that quarrel yesterday, when she had gone home, she had found out that her family had apparently searched a marriage prospect for her… The boy was coming along with his family to meet her in couple of hours. She had been in a trance throughout the entire evening, the only thing revolving in-front of her eyes was Sameer face, the only thing ringing in her ears were Sameer’s words. All she knew was that unknowingly she had added on to the hurt he would experience, because someday, somewhere he would get to know of this meeting.

Meanwhile on the other hand Sameer had a night of sleep disturbed with dreams. It didn’t matter that Naina no longer wanted to be with him… His heart couldn’t do anything except loving her. And so he had dreamt of them happily hopping along the roads near her home, him trying to catch her, the cat-and-mouse game leading to a home which had the name plate of ‘Mr. & Mrs. Maheshwari.’ In his dream her eyes had sparkled with happiness, she had smiled at him, held his hand, told him that she loved him.

Dreams however didn’t last long… The morning was dreary, and he almost cried again recalling what Naina had said. But then as he showered he recollected what he had said to her, and sighed, knowing he had hurt her as well. She was so scared of the repercussions; he wondered how he could ease her worries. Love wasn’t easy, it was never easy, but he also knew that Naina wasn’t a coward. She had dared to fall in love with him, make him feel loved, and one step at a time she had won his heart. So if she was so scared now, then there has to be a reason. Something more than just seeing the so-called attempted suicide of Rakesh sir… Maybe he should talk to her once more.

He dressed up in one of the shirts he knew she liked, picked up his friends and went to college with a new hope. To his delight he found her sitting on a bench near the garden along with Preeti and Swati. He went up to her and greeted, “Hi Naina.”

She gasped, looking at him in surprise, and then glanced away quickly, but he had seen the helplessness in her eyes. He gestured Preeti to move, and sat down next to her, “Naina… main samajhta hun tum dari hui ho… Tumhe parivaar ki fikar ho rahi hai… Aur upar se kal meri baato ne bhi tumhe chot pahonchayi hogi. Par Naina… parivaar ke liye pyaar ki kurbaani dena toh sahi nahi hai na? Hum koshish karenge na… Baat karenge sabse… Tumhe pata hai kal raat ko maine sapna dekha… Hamara ghar, woh nameplate jaisa tum chahti thi… Yeh sab sach ho sakta hai Naina, bas mera saath mat chodo…”

Her voice shook a bit as she looked in his eyes and said, “kaise sach ho sakta hai Sameer? Hum kya karenge? Ghar pe jaake bolenege ke hum log pyaar karte hai ek dusre se isiliye aap log Agarwal-Maheshwari sab bhool jaiye aur hamari shaadi karwa dijiye… Tumhe kya lagta hai, woh maan jayenge? Aur agar woh nahi maane toh hum kya karenge? Bhaag jayenge?”

“Nahi Naina”, he tried to assure, “pyaar kiya hai… koi gunaah nahi… bhagenge nahi. Mujhe yaqeen hai hum sabko mana lenge.”

She shook her head, “tum samajh nahi rahe ho Sameer… yeh mumkin nahi hai…” There was a slight pause, and then she added, “aur waise bhi… mere gharwale mere liye rishta dhundne lage hai. Kal shaam ko hi ek ladkewale aaye the dekhne… Sharad naam tha…”

The information hit him like a ton of bricks, and once more red mist swam in-front of his vision. All his carefully prepared sentences to convince her went for a toss. Instead his tone was sharp as he said, “wow… tumhare toh bade maze hai na… Mujhe chod diya aur turant koi aur mil gaya. Kaisa tha woh ladka? Naam kya bataya… Aree haan… Sharad… Achcha hai… Haath me likhwana toh S hi hoga, ab kya farq padta hai Sameer ho ya Sharad…”

“Bas karo Sameer”, she stood up, fuming, “farq padta hai… bahot farq padta hai… Aur agar tumhe lagta hai ke mujhe farq nahi padta toh iska matlab tumne mujhe kabhi samjha hi nahi. Maine uss rishte ke liye mana kar diya hai… Aur Chachaji ne meri baat maan bhi li hai… Ladkewalo ko bhi main pasand nahi aayi… Lekin kab tak? Kabhi na kabhi toh gharwale zor daalenge hi na… Tab kya karenge? Isiliye behtar hai ke hum pehle hi alag ho jaaye.”

He desperately tried to drill some sense into her, “tumhe aisa kyun lagta hai ke aaj agar tum kisi Sharad se shaadi nahi kar paayi toh kal kisi aur se kar paogi? Man maarke jiyogi puri zindagi? Agar kisi aur se shaadi karogi aur mujhse pyaar karti rahogi toh woh uske saath bhi dhoka hoga… Kyun sabki zindagi barbaad kar rahi ho? Tum haath badhake toh dekho… main waada karta hun ke kabhi tumhara haath nahi chodunga… Hum sabko bata denge ke hum galat nahi hai.”

She resolutely shook her head, “galat hai… hamara pyaar galat hai.” He nearly stumbled on hearing her say this. But she wasn’t done… With tears in her eyes, she continued, “Sameer hamara pyaar khatam ho chuka hai… Uski kahani khatam ho chuki hai… Yeh baat tum jitna jaldi samajh loge na tumhare liye utna hi achcha hai, aur mere liye bhi… Bahot dukhi kar chuki hun sabko… Tumhe, khudko, apne gharwalo ko… Khaas karke chachaji ko… Tumhare saath ek aur kadam chalna, chachaji ko bahot dukh pahonchana hoga… Main aisa karneka sapne me bhi nahi soch sakti… Nahi tod sakti chachaji ka bharosa… Main tumse akhri baar bol rahi hun, dhyan se sunn lo… Hamara pyaar khatam ho chuka hai… Uss pyaar ki umar bas itni hi thi… Isiliye tum bhul jao ke hamare beech me kabhi bhi kuch bhi tha… Tumhara ehsaan hoga mere upar.”

He closed his eyes, taking a few steps back from her, a sense of defeat settling inside him, the pain in his heart sharp like a knife slicing through his skin. He dragged in a shaky breath, and said, “theek hai… agar tumhari yahi marzi hai, yahi soch hai toh tum jo chahogi wahi hoga. Waise bhi maine toh hamesha tumse waada kiya tha ke tumhari har wish poori karunga.”

She looked slightly stunned when he said this, as if she couldn’t believe he had accepted defeat. He determinedly continued, “mujhe pata hai – aaj ho, kal ho, yaa ek saal baad – tum mere alawa kisi aur se shaadi nahi kar paogi… Phir bhi tumhe poori azaadi hai ab apni zindagi ke saath jo chaho woh karneki… Sameer tumhare raaste me nahi aayega. Actually, dekha jaaye toh yeh parivaar ki izzat aur permission toh sirf ek bahana hai. Sach toh yeh hai ki tumhe apni soch badalneki zaroorat hai…”

She was puzzled, and kept staring at him as he added, “jab tak tum iss rishte ko ehmiyat nahi dogi hamare beech me aise hi takraar chalte rahenge… Kal tumhare parivaar wale maan bhi gaye toh bhi aisa hoga kyunki tumhare liye tumhare papa, chachaji, chachiji, yeh sab hi sabse pehle aayenge… Main apni poori zindagi tumhare intezaar me beeta sakta hun par tumhare zindagi me bina kisi priority ke nahi… Isiliye ab jab tak tum samjhogi nahi ke hamare rishte ki tumhare zindagi me kya jagah honi chahiye, aur tum saamne se chalke mere paas nahi aaogi main khud tumse door rahunga… Theek waise hi jaisa tum chahti ho…”

Naina stood speechless as he turned and left along with his friends, not sure what to do now. She had done it… She had set out to break off the relationship with Sameer, and he had finally accepted it… Except, had he really? He was so sure that she won’t be able to get married to anyone else, that she would return to him… Was it because he really believed in their love? If yes, then how was he so sure? She was still so scared… To her Sameer and her family were like two different roads that diverged in-front of her. If she chose to walk on one, then she couldn’t wander down the other. And she was determined to choose family… Because that was right… Wasn’t it? But what was he talking about… What priority did he want? Did he expect her to leave her family for him? She could never do that… No, he was wrong, maybe confused. Whatever was happening was right. It was good that he had decided to stay away, now she won’t have to deal with him trying to convince her, or remind her of his love. She would never be able to forget him, but slowly she would accept that this was what was destined, and the pain would lessen, and then she would honor whatever her family wished.

However, nothing changed in her in the next few days. Her eyes still strayed to Sameer whenever he was near, she still kept yearning for him, she still felt desperate need to talk to him, her hands kept feeling empty because he wasn’t there to hold them. He didn’t do anything, just as he had promised. Suddenly it seemed as if she was a stranger for him. There were no greetings, no smiles… He didn’t get lost in her eyes. No one grabbed her hand or tugged her in an empty classroom… He didn’t attempt one single time to remind her of their love, or relationship. All his time in college was spent with Munna and Pandit, his smile was strained, his laughter non-existent… The sadness in his eyes didn’t leave, but his lips never once uttered her name. She saw him drive in on his bike every day, and watched him leave every afternoon, those glimpses a solace for her heart. Every time she felt the need to be closer to him, she would remind herself of the consequences, and her steps would stop, her eyes would fill with tears.

Sameer wasn’t unaffected, though he behaved that he was. He had never been indifferent when it came to Naina… Even in school, in the initial days, something had pulled him towards her. He had been irked when she had failed to accept in front of her father that she was teaching him because she wanted to, he had been hurt when she had termed him as thief. He had fallen in love with her without knowing when it had happened… Her pure heart, her innocence, her care for him, everything had worked its magic on his heart. That’s why all this time he had just been happy to be a part of her life, even if not a significant part… He had known always that her family came first for her, and then him, but he hadn’t felt bad about it. After all her family had made her the way she was, and he had fallen in love with the girl she was – the full package of her values, her ideals, her qualities. But now… it was high time that she realized that he wasn’t someone whom she could replace at will, someone she could just forget and ignore. It was time she understood that the daring she had showed in loving him was not just limited to making him fall in love with her, but was also needed to be together for their whole life. She needed to realize that if Chachaji was her family, then so was he… She had to understand that if she had duties towards her family, then she also had some responsibility towards him.

A week passed this way… The news of their break-up had spread through college. This had made Naina a target for teasing, as people believed that Sameer had dumped her. But on the other hand, stakes has increased for him, because every girl who had earlier believed him to be committed now assumed that he was ready to choose a new girlfriend. He kept on politely refusing every girl that came to him, but what irked him more was that Naina kept on tolerating all the teasing without giving a fitting reply to everyone. Hadn’t he clearly told her that he was still ready to hold her hand? All she needed was to take a step towards him…

One afternoon when he saw a few girls tease Naina, about how she deserved to be dumped, he walked over and thundered, “bahot ho gaya tum logo ka… samajhte kya ho tum log… Naina chup hai iska matlab yeh nahi hai ke woh galat hai… Waise bhi mere aur Naina ke beech me jo bhi hua hai woh hamari personal baat hai. Aur kya bol rahe the tum log? Naina toh dump karneke hi layak hai? Kabhi apne aap ko theek se dekha hai? Sirf stylish kapde pehen lene se kuch nahi hota… Rishte kapdo se nahi bante, dil se bante hai… Aur tum logo ka dil kaisa hai yeh dikh raha hai mujhe…”

Naina gazed at him astounded as the other girls hurriedly left… He looked at her for a moment, and then left from there without a word. She stood there, lost in the internal struggle between ignoring what he had done, and feeling happy about the fact that he still cared enough. She desperately wanted to ignore, but her heart couldn’t help but lift a bit at the way he had defended her.

Sameer reached at the parking lot, and kicked a row of bike in anger, toppling them over… Dammit… He had to stay away from her… He had to be indifferent… And instead he had gone ahead and defended her… If she knew that he still cared then she would again consider him as unimportant. A stray flower pot also became the victim of his rage as he crashed it to pieces. Munna and Pandit rushed over to him, grabbing his arms, trying to control the raging tornado. Pandit panted, “Sameer… rukja bhai… Kya ho gaya?”

Sameer jerked free out of their hold, “mujhe dur rehna tha usse… nahi dikhana tha ke ab tak pyaar karta hun… nahi jatana na ab tak fikar hai… Tabhi usko ehsaas hoga ke iss rishte ke bina woh nahi reh payegi.”

Munna blinked, “kya matlab?”

Sameer dragged a hand through his hair, his eyes flashing, “usko samajhna hoga ke itna asaan nahi hai mujhe bhula dena… Parivaar agar zaroori hai toh main bhi zaroori hun… Par agar main uske kareeb gaya, ya usse baat ki, uski madad ki toh usko iss cheez ka ehsaas nahi hoga… Uss dard ka ehsaas nahi hoga jo woh hum dono ko de rahi hai.”

“Dard ka ehsaas hai use jijaji”, a voice from nearby grabbed his attention. All three boys turned to look at Preeti, who had arrived without them noticing anything. Sameer looked away, but Preeti came closer, “jijaji… mujhe aapse baat karni hai.”

Sameer muttered, “main ab tumhara jijaji nahi hun…”

“Maine aapki baate suni”, she confessed, “mujhe pata hai ke aap Naina ko uski galti ka ehsaas dilana chahte hai. Aur sach kahu… agar aapki baate nahi bhi suni hoti na toh bhi main apne jijaji ko itna toh jaanti hun ke yeh samjhu ke woh kabhi bhi apni Naina se pyaar karna band nahi kar sakte.”

Sameer sighed but stayed silent. Preeti didn’t seem to need any answer as she continued, “main bas aapse yeh kehne aai thi ke aap ki soch sahi hai lekin tareeka sahi hai ke nahi yeh mujhe pata nahi. Agar aap Naina ko apne pyaar ka ehsaas karwana band kar denge toh woh hamare parivaar ki dakiyanusi khayalat ke daldal me phasti chali jayegi… Naina bhi aapse bahot pyaar karti hai, par usko darr lag raha hai ke aapke baare me agar mere papa ko pata chala toh kahin woh bhi Rakesh sir ki tarah… umm… kuch galat karneki koshish na kare. Itne din ho gaye aap usse dur hai, mujhe darr hai ke kahin woh khudko naa kho de… Please Naina se baat kar lijiye… Itna bhi kya ego jijaji…”

Preeti waited for a minute, but on hearing no reply from him, she sighed and turned to leave. Just then Sameer said, “ego nahi hai… aatm-samman hai mera. Naina apne parivaar ke sammaan ke liye mujhse dur reh rahi hai… Par usko samajhna hoga hamare saath hone ke liye usko iss rishte ka aur hume ek dusre ka bhi sammaan karna hoga. Usko samajhna hoga ke main bhi uska parivaar hun…”

Preeti stared at him in confusion, and he slowly smiled, “tum ghabrao mat… main apni Naina ko kisi daldal me nahi khone dunga… Mujhse dur toh woh tab jayegi na jab uska dil usko yeh ijazat dega. Usko samajh nahi aa raha abhi, lekin mujhe apne aap se dur karneki uski koshish nakaam ho rahi hai. Uski nazre mujhe dhundti hai, woh mujhse baat karneko tarasti hai, meri parvaah karti hai… Aaj unn ladkiyo ko jab maine jawaab diya uski aankhon me maine khushi dekhi… Fikar mat karo… Agar main usko theek se jaanta hun toh kuch hi dino me uska yeh dikhave ka mukhauta utar jayega, phir woh khud mere paas aayegi.”

Preeti didn’t know how it would happen, but she hoped he was right. Life continued for each one of them, the only difference was that while earlier Naina had been sure she was right to take that decision, now she kept looking at Sameer with thoughtful eyes as if she couldn’t decide if she was doing the right thing or not. Once when Preeti asked, “tu ghur kyun rahi hai Sameer ko?”

Naina mused, “pata nahi… usne jo sab kaha uss din unn ladkiyo se… mujhe bahot achcha laga… Samajh nahi aa raha ke woh mere pyaar ke bina kaise rahega.”

Preeti scoffed, “jaise tu reh legi uske pyaar ke bina… haina?”

Grief clouded Naina’s eyes, “mujhe rehna padega… Khushi ki chamak ya toh mere aankhon me ho sakti hai, ya chachaji ke aankhon me… Aur main unko dukh nahi de sakti.”

“Tujhse bada bewakuf insaan maine aaj tak nahi dekha”, Preeti declared and stomped off.

Swati also shook her head, “Preeti sahi keh rahi hai… Sameer ke liye tune kitni baar apne papa se aur teachers se jhooth bola tha school me… Uske liye tune khana banana seekha… Sweater buna… Aur pata nahi kya kuch nahi kiya… Toh ab tera yeh faisla hamare samajh me nahi aa raha. Tu khudko aur Sameer ko toh dukh de hi rahi hai, saath saath Munna aur Pandit ko bhi dukh de rahi hai… Tere faisle ka asar mere aur Munna ke rishte pe bhi pad raha hai… Agar itne saare logo ko dukh hi dena tha toh pehle dosti aur pyaar ka bharosa kyun dilaya?”

Before Naina could reply, Swati also left from there, leaving her alone to her thoughts. Was she wrong? Everyone seemed to think she was… But no one understood her point of view about Chachaji… She thought at least Preeti would understand, but even she thought that whatever she was doing was wrong. Was she really hurting so many people? Why would her decision affect Munna and Swati’s relationship? As soon as this question popped in her mind, the answer also followed. Munna was Sameer’s friend, in fact almost like a brother… Since school they had been together in every problem, grief or happiness. If Sameer was sad at the loss of his love, Munna would be more focused on caring for him rather than the matters of his own heart. Also, Swati was her friend, who technically was still by her side even after what she did with Sameer… So… Yeah, it looked like she had indirectly affected another love story. Maybe Taiji was right, she was a curse to everyone. Neither could she keep Sameer happy, nor her family or her friends… What a miserable life…

A day later, as she was leaving from college, someone came and stood before her. To her surprise it was Sharad, the boy who had come over to meet as a wedding prospect but she had refused. Why was he here?

“Hi Naina”, he greeted in a greasy cheerful tone.

She frowned in confusion, “uh… hi…”

From beside her Preeti asked in a clipped voice, “tum yahan kya kar rahe ho?”

Sharad smiled, “main Naina se milne aaya hun… Usse akele me kuch baat karni hai. Naina, tum mere saath bahar chalogi? Paas me ek achcha restaurant hai…”

Naina shook her head, “nahi… tumhe jo bolna hai yahan bolo… Main tumhare saath akele kahin nahi jaungi.”

Sharad coaxed, “c’mon Naina… Mujhe pata hai meri mummy ne mana kar diya rishte ke liye… Par maine toh nahi kiya na. Mummy ko lagta hai tum itni khoobsurat nahi ho na toh mere saath jachogi nahi, aur upar se dahej ki rakam bhi kuch zyada nahi thi.”

Naina’s eyes widened on hearing this… Dowry? They had had discussion about dowry and that was one of the reasons for rejecting the alliance. Sharad meanwhile continued, “lekin sach kahu mujhe tum itni buri nahi lagi… I mean, shakal theek-thak hai, par baki sab bilkul perfect hai…”

Naina blinked in confusion, her mind still stuck on the dowry topic, “baki sab?”

Sharad smirked in a not-so-pleasant way, and let his eyes drift down her body, “haan… baki sab.”

Preeti gasped, and Naina took a step back in shock, “chee… badtameez insaan… Tum samajhte kya ho apne aap ko? Sharam nahi aati aisi baate karte hue… Chale jao yahan se… Achcha hua ke maine pehle hi tumhare rishte ke liye mana kar diya.”

Sharad’s eyes narrowed, “tumne mana kiya?”

Naina nodded, “haan… maine mana kar diya tha… Aur uske baad tumhare wahan se phone aaya tha…”

Sharad’s voice was low and threatening, “tumhari himmat kaise hui naa bolne ki?”

“Maine wahi kiya jo mujhe theek laga”, Naina retorted, “waise bhi tum jaise ghatiya insaan ke saath shaadi toh kya main koi bhi rishta rakhna pasand nahi karungi.”

“Naina…”, Sharad roared and raised his hand to slap her. Naina stood her ground, but there was someone who had witnessed the altercation, and now suddenly appeared in-front of her, holding Sharad’s raised hand in an iron grip. Time seemed to slow down for a moment as Naina’s eyes shifted from Sharad’s shocked face to the sharp side-profile of Sameer… Even that brief glimpse of his face was clear to tell her that he was angry… very very angry. She immediately raised her hand to touch him, seeking to soothe, but before she could do so, he drew back his other hand, and punched Sharad hard…

Sharad stumbled back, but didn’t fall down as his hand was still in Sameer’s grip, which Sameer used it to keep him within range as he repeatedly threw punches. The thudding sounds were loud enough to cause several people to flinch. Munna and Pandit rushed forward to grab their friend and pull him back… Sharad managed to free himself, but his head was woozy, his nose bleeding profusely, and he fell on the ground. Sameer freed himself from his friends’ grip, and knelt beside the fallen boy, hitting him again, his face twisted with anger.

Suddenly Naina moved forward, grasping Sameer’s amrs, “Sameer… bas karo… chodo usko…”

Sameer paused for half a minute, which was enough for Naina to pull him back, making him stand up. She wanted to tell him to ignore it, but before she could, Sharad regained his footing and dealt a punch on Sameer’s jaw. He stumbled, teetering sideways on Naina, and they both would have fallen, but Sameer quickly held her in his arms, splayed his legs to balance, and she also clutched onto his jacket, burying her face against his chest. He steadied her, and asked, “tum theek ho?”

It was so much like how they used to talk before, that her heart thudded with unexpected happiness, “h…haan…”

He nodded, “ek minute bas…” And then he swiftly turned, striking such a hard blow on Sharad’s face that he crumpled on the ground howling with pain.

“Sameer”, Naina gasped, grabbing his arm again, “chodo use… jaane do…”

Sameer obeyed her, jerking his hand that had started to hurt, but rage still clouded his eyes as he looked at Naina once and then left from there. She just stood there, still in shock over what had happened. Had Sameer overheard everything? God… He must have felt so bad when Sharad had implied about being attracted to her body.

Meanwhile, Sharad managed to stand up from the ground, and weakly muttered, “dekh lunga tumko Naina… aur uss ladke ko bhi…”

She didn’t even respond as Sharad walked away, teetering a bit, and neither did she notice when Swati and Preeti left her side and followed Sharad to check where he was going. The girls were worried about him reporting the incident to the Dean, because then Sameer would be in trouble. However, Sharad just tried to wipe his face with his handkerchief, and then sat on his bike to leave. Preeti heaved a sigh of relief, “chal achcha hai yeh bhaag raha hai…”

But before she could finish her sentence, there was crash, and several students ran to the gates to check. Sharad’s bike had collided with another, and both the men were groaning in pain. Passersby helped straighten their vehicles, and someone assisted them, hailing an auto to the hospital. Preeti rushed back inside, and found Naina still standing at the same spot, lost in thoughts. She shook her sister, “oye… tu kya yahan khayalo me khoi hui hai… Bahar Sharad ka accident ho gaya… Use hospital leke gaye hai.”

Naina frowned, jerking out of her trance like state, “bhaad me gaya Sharad… Mujhe Sameer ke paas jaana hai.”

As she tried to leave, Preeti caught her hand, “Naina ruk…” After a pause she continued, “Sameer insaan hai… koi khilona ya paaltu jeev nahi ke tera jab man kare tu use puchkar de aur jab man kare door karde… Agar parivaar ke liye tune usko chod diya hai toh uske chot se tujhe farq nahi padna chahiye… Aur agar itna farq padta hai ke tu uss chot pe marham lagana chahti hai toh tujhe door nahi rehna chahiye… Teri marzi hai, par jo bhi karna hai ek baar sochke faisla le le… Baar baar thaali ke baingan ki tarah idhar-udhar mat ho ke kabhi Sameer aur kabhi parivaar… Aisa karne se naa tu khush hai, aur naa hi koi aur… Rahi baat papa ki, toh teri zindagi me agar Sameer ke bina andhera hoga toh, unki aankhon me bhi koi roshni nahi jalegi… Soch ke dekh zara…”

Naina didn’t reply to her, but she did start thinking about what her sister said as she walked through the corridors, looking for Sameer. Had she been as harsh and ungrateful as to not taking into account Sameer’s emotions at all? She knew she had hurt him… But had she made him feel that he was replaceable? Didn’t he understand that being away from him was a huge hardship for her? Didn’t he know already that her heart forever belonged to him?

Agar kisi aur se shaadi karogi aur mujhse pyaar karti rahogi toh woh uske saath bhi dhoka hoga… Kyun sabki zindagi barbaad kar rahi ho?

His words rang in her ears, and she stumbled, grabbing onto the nearby pillar and leaning on it to support herself. She closed her eyes, to stop the tears, to clear her thoughts, but her mind took her back to the treasure trove of recollections.

Toh…? Hum dost haina?

I love…

Meri ichcha toh tumhare saath ghumne ki thi.

Naina, I am sorry.

Hamara rishta bhi iss dhoop-chaav ki tarah hai.

Ab hum alag toh nahi ho sakte.

Thappad toh bahot pade lekin dard zara bhi nahi hua.

Jis tarah maine tumhare diye hue sweater ko seene se lagaya tha, ussi tarah ek din tum bhi iss card ko apne seene se lagaogi… ek din…

I love you too…

Achcha… Tum mere bina do second bhi nahi reh sakti?

Ab koi hai jo har saal tumhare birthday pe surprise dega… Tumhara yeh budhdhu.

Tumhe pata hai maine tumhara birthday manane ke liye ye jagah kyun chuni? Kyunki mera ek sapna hai… Aisi hi ek jagah pe hamara ghar ho… Hamara matlab tumhara aur mera…

He had loved her… He had healed her heart… He had dreamt of their home… And she had broken every dream of his… God… What had she done? Their relationship had started from a bet, and she had been heartbroken when she had got to know the real reason behind Sameer’s advances and efforts to befriend her. But even in her worse time she hadn’t ever forgotten the way he had motivated her, made her smile and laugh, made her appreciate herself. She remembered how he helped her with the debate speech, how he came to look for her in the jungle, how he had got those tamarinds for her when they had gone boating, how he had saved her from her father’s wrath when he had been caught in her room.

After she had gotten to know of the bet, he had constantly apologized for breaking her heart. And then when he had realized about his own feelings, it had seemed as if nothing was too much for him when it came to her. He had stayed in her house, worked hard to win everyone over. He had borne her taunts and anger with a smile on his face. And it wasn’t just her… Her father and brother had repeatedly insulted him, demeaned him, but still he had persevered, all because he loved her. It had hurt her to see him almost being treated like a servant sometimes, it had wrenched her heart when her brother had made him pick up food from the floor, and each slap on his cheek from her father had struck her heart too… And she had felt this pain at that time because even though she had been heartbroken and angry, she had not stopped loving him.

At that time she hadn’t been able to see her family disrespect Sameer because she loved him, then now how had she done the same? How had she disrespected his feeling, demeaned his love? How had she blamed him for things he wasn’t even responsible for? If her brother didn’t have the courage to accept his feelings, then what was Sameer’s fault in that? He had been so clueless when she had said that they needed to end things between them… He must have been so hurt… She knew him, his biggest pain in life was the way his mother had abandoned him after her second marriage. That was a pain he had been living with since he was a kid. Hadn’t she witnessed his tears, heard his heart-wrenching scream when in Mt. Abu his mother had failed to own up her relationship to him? Then how had she pushed him away after promising lifetime of love and support?

She started to walk once more, still in a daze, and suddenly she spotted the open door of music room. Her heart thudded indicating that Sameer was there for sure… Taking a deep breath she entered inside the room, and softly called, “Sameer…”

He stiffened a bit, but didn’t reply. She sighed, accepting that he might not want to talk to her; so she went to sit beside him, and without a word she took out the bottle of water from her bag, wet her handkerchief and then gently dabbed the wound on his cheek. He glanced at her for a moment, noticing the tears in her eyes, and then looked away. She sniffed, softly holding his hand, and poured water over his bleeding knuckles… He flinched at the sudden pain, and so did she, just at the thought of how angry he must have been to hit Sharad so hard that his own hand had started to bleed. Then she wrapped her kerchief around his fingers, hoping it would soothe him.

He lifted his hand, gazing at the handkerchief for a moment, and then removed it, keeping it on the bench between them, “thank you… par hamari kahani me ek dusre ka rumaal rakhna pyaar ki nishani hua karta tha. Ab jab naa pyaar hai, naa pyaar ki kahani toh phir yeh rumaal koi zakhm nahi bhar payega.”

Naina’s lips wobbled, “main… main bas tumhe thank you bolne aai thi…”

“Iski koi zaroorat nahi hai”, Sameer interrupted, “tumhare jagah koi aur ladki hoti toh bhi main yahin karta.”

Before Naina could say anything else, he walked out of the room. Tears leaked from her eyes, as she picked up the handkerchief, clutching it in her hand, and confessed to the empty room, “tabhi toh main tumse itna pyaar karti hun.”

Couple of hours later, Naina sat in her room, feeling bit hurt at the way Sameer rejected her gesture, but then she closed her eyes and sighed. She deserved this after what she had done to him… All these days she had constantly rejected him; every time he had come to her to talk she had refuted his advances; she had even said that their love was a mistake. It was natural for him to be hurt, to be angry, to not believe any caring gesture she made… He must have thought it was just a one-time thing and the she would revert back to her break-up mode. Well… there was only one thing to do… She decided to stop feeling hurt at his rejection, and instead do everything she could to win him back… Moving to the balcony, she glanced up at the moon, “tumhe toh main mana hi lungi Sameer… Kyunki tumne sach kaha tha… Main tumse alag hoke nahi reh sakti.”

Few kilometers away, inside a big white bungalow, Sameer Maheshwari stood near the dressing table, carefully tying a wet handkerchief on his hand. “I am sorry Naina”, he murmured, looking at the white handkerchief with pink flowers, “mujhe pata hai aaj maine jis tarah se tumhe rumaal wapas de diya tumhe dukh hua hoga… Par yeh zaroori tha… Warna tumhe samajh nahi aata ke tum jab chaho tab yeh rishta tod ya jod nahi sakti.”  Walking over to the window, he stared at the moon, “bas tum ek baar yeh baat samajh lo… phir mujhe pata hai tum khud mere paas aaogi mujhse apne pyaar ka izhaar karne aur phir main tumhe theek se bataunga ke main tumhe kitna pyaar karta hun, aur aaj ke liye kaan pakadke maafi bhi mangunga.” After thinking a bit, he smirked, linking his fingers and extending his hands palms out, flexing his fingers, stretching his arms, “lekin itni asaani se nahi milega Sameer wapas… Pyaar me thoda tadpana toh banta hi hai… Aakhir tumne bhi toh mujhe itna tadpaya… Aur tum toh jaanti hi ho, pyaar me jitni zyada tadap hoti hai, pyaar utna hi gehra hota hai…”

To be continued…