Only Mine Chapter 16: Helpless Hearts

Naina alighted from the taxi outside her home, taking in a deep breath as she could smell the earthy fragrance of oncoming rain; her lips were stretched in a smile that had been absent since more than a year and her heart for once didn’t feel heavy with sadness. It seemed as if just meeting Sameer for that short time had worked its magic. Still… she didn’t give a thought about it. She didn’t try to fight that coincidence that had led to the meeting; neither did she get dreamy-eyed with future possibilities. The knowledge that Sameer wasn’t hers remained a constant, but there was now the slight assurance that somewhere he still cared for her, else he wouldn’t have stepped up like that to save her.

And she had needed saving… she didn’t deny that. She was no damsel in distress… Usually she was one of those girls who didn’t look for a knight but for a sword. But what had happened today was far out of her experience. She had had several invitations for date in college, but once she had refused none of them had tried again or attempted another way for her attention. Danny had behaved like a friend, never once showing interest in anything more than friendship; that was why she had been comfortable with him. The offer for movie had seemed like an innocent outing with a friend and so she had accepted. Even when she had seen the seats he had booked and enquired, he had smoothly lied saying that given so much crowd a preference for seat wasn’t offered and that he himself had no idea that they had corner seats. She had believed him because indeed the there was a huge rush of people for the movie. Everything had been okay until the interval, but after that things had started to go downhill when he had whispered in her ears that she was looking sexy. That had put her on alert… And then the hand on her seat… she had asked him to take it down, but he had smirked and said he wasn’t causing any harm. She had not been so sure but then she hadn’t said anything because he wasn’t touching her, however it had been only a minute since she had that thought and then she had felt his hand on her shoulder. It had shocked her and revolted her… She couldn’t bear it. Her body had seemed to go in a zone where it was disconnected from her soul, because deep inside her soul she couldn’t even process that some random boy was touching her. She had had this urgent thought that she needed to move way but hadn’t been able to act. It had seemed like a violation of her senses… All she had wished for in her heart was for some help. And then Sameer had been there, asking her to come out.

While Danny had felt like violation, Sameer had been like her salvation. She didn’t have any second thoughts about leaving with him. But there had been a moment when she had been scared, because Danny had blocked her path and she didn’t know how to leave. The warning Sameer had given had registered in her brain, and she had watched in astonishment as he had punched Danny. Some part of her heart had rejoiced… When he had extended his hand, she had taken the offer without any hesitation. Somehow she had been assured that Sameer would protect her. His touch didn’t repulse her, or feel unknown; rather it was familiar and safe. And for very brief moments she had been extremely happy simply because her hand was in his and they were together. It was only when she had stepped outside in the bright sunlight that she had remembered about Sameer’s girlfriend and stopped. When he had argued that he didn’t care she had been tempted to take up his offer of dropping her home… She had thought it would be so wonderful to talk with him again, just be with him… But she couldn’t forget about the girl who had clung to Sameer’s arm during interval… What was it with him and girls clinging to him? And if he didn’t care then why did he hang around with them? First it was Tanvi in school and then Ms. Sparkly Ass in college.

She didn’t want to send him back, yet she had done so… But at least she had his number. She knew he had meant it when he had asked her to call him. He had said he needed to know if she was alright. Didn’t that mean that she still held some importance in his life? That thought put a smile on her face. However, as she changed in her room and started to read a book, her happiness seemed to dim a bit. There had been a time when she had been confident of his attention and after a lot of debate she had given her phone number to him, but he hadn’t called. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to then… She still didn’t know why he had never called, and she hadn’t thought of asking when she had seen him today. But now, clutching his number in her palm she wondered what she should do. Should she call him? Or should she make him wait for hours at end like he had done to her?

Thinking of petty revenge she decided to make him wait until night; however another thought at the back of her mind was that naturally he would spend some time with his girlfriend after the movie, but that thought didn’t please her, and so she termed it as revenge. Even though technically she was making him wait, but she kept glancing at the clock now and then to check time. Finally at 8pm she picked up the slip of paper and dialed his number, biting her lip in fear that he wouldn’t pick up or that he might have just said like that to call but wasn’t expecting her to. However, her heart thumped hard when he picked up before the first ring ended, and his voice held urgency as he said, “Hello… Naina?”

She wobbled a bit, her legs suddenly unsteady, “uh… yeah… How did you know?”

“I didn’t”, he sighed, “I was hoping it was you. Why are you so late? Do you stay out of Mumbai?”

She rolled her eyes, trust him to not drop his sarcasm even now. Sitting down on a chair, she replied just as sassily, “no… I figured you would be busy with Ms. Sparkly Ass.”

Sameer didn’t tell her about the fact that Ms. Sparkly Ass was no longer with him… He wanted to… He wanted to say that he was single and had no girlfriends. But he didn’t… Instead he proudly informed, “when I went back inside to her, that pink punk was still howling in pain.”

She felt her spirits deflate a bit when Sameer didn’t deny that he was with his girlfriend. Her laughter at his comment was not as bright, and she just said, “thank you for today.”

He sighed aloud, “you don’t need…” Then he trailed off as thunder rumbled hard and he looked outside, “Naina… it’s… it’s…”

She had also looked outside at the sound, and now finished his sentence, “it’s raining! the first rains of the season.”

“You remember…”, he started speaking in an excited tone and again she picked up on his thoughts and said, “we enjoyed so much that day.”

There was a pause as his heartbeats went haywire on remembering how she had looked all drenched in rain. As if on impulse he demanded, “give me your address. I will come to meet you.”

She very nearly shrieked in alarm, “what!? You can’t do that.”

“Try me’, he immediately replied.

Oh she wanted to… Truly she did. But it wasn’t possible to just have him over here. However, she didn’t refuse directly. She remembered how he was when faced with challenges; if she told him he can’t come he would do it anyhow… So, she calmly tried to explain, “Sameer… I know you can come over if I give you the address… But I don’t live alone.”

He tried to convince her, “Naina… it is the first rain… and we are talking. We met today, after a year… Don’t you think we should be enjoying this together?”

Her expressions softened, her heart yearning to be with him. She closed her eyes and said, “I… I want to… but I can’t…”

He sighed, “well… I can’t force you to meet me. I just thought… anyways… let it be.”

“No wait”, she opened her eyes and quickly said, “do you have a balcony?”

He frowned, “yes I do.”

She smiled, “perfect… then go out in the rain.”

“I am not going alone”, he countered.

She pacified, “you won’t… I will also go out here. We both will get wet in the first rains… 5 minutes and then we will talk again.”

He thought for some time, this concept was new to him. But given that they were talking about rain he decided she would know better, and so he agreed agreed, “okay… but don’t disconnect.”

She grinned, “I won’t… 5 minutes.”

Keeping the receiver on the side they both went outside to the balcony. She laughed softly, her eyes sparkling with joy that was missing since the last year. He stood just like she had taught him, embracing the cold rain, feeling the nostalgia wash over him. At that moment the recollection of that Ahmedabad rain was so strong that he felt that he could almost see her, standing right in-front of him. Her hair sticking to her forehead and cheeks, her eyes shining, her lips trembling… He wanted to touch her again… He wanted to cup her face in his hands, feel the softness of her round cheeks, get lost in her hypnotic eyes, and then taste her succulent lips as the thunder and lightning crashed overhead and rains curtained them from others.

What the hell… Sameer… What are you thinking?

He wasn’t in his right mind… Surely there was something wrong with his brain. This was the second time in a day he was thinking of kissing Naina… Naina… Oh my God… 5 minutes… She must be waiting.

He rushed inside, and picked up the receiver, “hello.” At the exact same time her voice also came over, “hello.”

They laughed as their voices overlapped. He said, “I guess it was more than 5 minutes.”

“Yes”, she accepted, “I was lost in thoughts.”

He queried, “what were you thinking?”

She bit her lip, and lied, “about how I used to enjoy with Preeti and Swati. What about you? You also took long.”

Disappointed with her reply he also lied, “there’s a kid next door… she was also outside, and I got busy playing with her.”

Her face fell, and she tried to keep her voice normal, “umm… okay… did you enjoy the rain?”

He smiled again, “of course… it was fun. Though now I wish we could share a cup of tea, just like before…”

She chuckled, “oh yes… me too. I am already feeling cold.”

His voice held a hint of mischief as he said, “I am telling you… Give me your address.”

Her brows furrowed, “huh? How will that help?”

He smirked, “I can warm you up.”

“How?” She blurted.

His lips curved in a crooked grin, “well…”

“Forget it”, she quickly interrupted, “no need to answer.”

He laughed out, “I can see you know a bit more than kissing now.”

Her face flushed, and she muttered, “shut up.”

Naturally he laughed again. A moment later he sneezed, and some shuffling noises could be heard over the connection. Curious, she asked, “what are you doing?”

He sniffed, “getting rid of my shirt… I don’t want to catch a cold.”

She gulped, her pulse tripping madly, and her voice trembled slightly as she said, “y…you… you are changing?”

He grinned, “yes… and you are free to imagine.”

She gasped, “I am doing nothing of that sort.”

“Liar”, he scoffed immediately, and then added, “by the way… Naina… you will catch cold too… why don’t you change your clothes?”

She huffed in outrage, “I won’t… I am not going to change my clothes while I am talking to you. Bye…”

He chuckled, “bye honey… and listen…”

She paused in the act of putting the receiver down, and gingerly queried, “what?”

He replied in a husky tone, “I don’t need you to change clothes to be able to imagine you.”

“Ass”, she muttered furiously and disconnected at the tone of his laughter.

Their hearts were light after the phone-call, Sameer hummed a song as he prepared dinner for himself, Naina ate a hearty portion of her meal chattering non-stop with PB. However, as hours ticked by, the rains stopped but questions started to crowd their brain, and confusion made reality hazy.

Naina had lied about thinking of having fun in rain with Preeti and Swati, she had been thinking of that one day in rain when her vision had been restricted to Sameer. Now she wondered why she had been thinking of how Sameer had looked in his white cricket clothes in rain, and why had she wished that she could touch him. Why had she felt bad when he hadn’t refuted her claim that he might be busy with his girlfriend? Why had she wanted him to come over to meet her? Why had she felt that tingle in her body on knowing that he was removing his shirt? What was this crazy feeling that even after talking for so long she still wanted to hear his voice?

I can warm you up.

His voice kept ringing in her ears causing odd spasms inside her belly. He has a girlfriend, she kept reminding herself. Yet he had flirted with her. She should hate him for doing so… but she kept coming up with excuses like maybe that girl was like Tanvi who had a habit of clinging to him but he wasn’t encouraging her. But the problem was that this was no school… And he had come on a date with that girl. Another reason could be a friendly movie, just like she had thought she was on with Danny. But then they wouldn’t have bought corner seats. Maybe he had been on a date but it was nothing serious, and after meeting her today he was genuinely interested in exploring something with her. Who knew what was on his mind? The only way to know was to talk to him… But there was still a past to deal with, and she didn’t know if she had the courage to hear that he had never wanted to call her after the fair, that she was just an acquaintance and nothing more. She didn’t know if she could bear for him to be interested in her now only because of her changed dressing sense. Yes, she didn’t apply oil in her hair anymore, waxed her legs regularly, her eyebrows had an actual shape, and her dresses weren’t loosely hanging… But she was still the same Naina, who wanted so much more from life, and now she also had to deal with her sour family ties. She didn’t think she could date casually, experiment if it was working or not, and then break-up like it was nothing. She didn’t think she could change boyfriends every month like she had seen some girls in her college do. She still yearned for that one person who would love her for what she was… And Sameer Maheshwari was not that person… Yet, he was the only one for whom her body and heart both reacted.

Sameer stood in the balcony enjoying the slight cold in weather after the rains, his mind burdened with unanswered questions that he kept on asking himself. He had thought that meeting Naina would sort everything. But, even after meeting her today and talking with her, the confusion in his mind hadn’t cleared. He hadn’t told her that Priya had broken up with him after she had left. It wasn’t Priya’s fault. Any girl on a date would want the boy’s undivided attention, and his attention had been undivided… only it wasn’t for Priya but for Naina. Ever since he had seen her he had been focused on her. When he had seen the punk misbehaving with her, his priority had been her safety. If he was honest with himself he wouldn’t have given a single thought to Priya if Naina had agreed to let him drop her home. That had told him how extremely unimportant Priya was to him, and he had realized that continuing to date her would be like cheating. If he couldn’t put even one bit of thought and heart in dating a girl then he shouldn’t do it just for formality, or for maintaining his image in college. Maybe people would consider him incapable of getting a girl, or tease him or think he was no good, but he would be at peace and free of guilt. With that thought in mind he had gone back inside deciding that he would talk to Priya as soon as the movie ended. But Priya had some other thought in mind… As soon as he had gone inside the first thing he had noticed was the punk still trying to deal with his nose, and when he had gone to Priya she had started yelling at him for coming with her and flirting with another girl. She had asked about who Naina was and what was his history with her. She had accused him of playing with girls’ emotions. A few comments on how he had no money in his wallet, no chivalry, no style and also no masculinity had been passed too. A lot of people around them had been interested in his list of incapability, and some of those disgraceful comments had bothered him, but he hadn’t argued back. He had been at fault. Yes, everything Priya had said wasn’t true, but some of it was… And so he had listened silently and when she had dumped him saying that she wouldn’t even think of dating a loafer like him he had just asked her if she could go back on her own, and when she had said yes, he had left from there.

Even after being unceremoniously dumped in a theatre full of people the only thing he had been thinking of was that he should reach home because Naina was going to call him. He had waited so anxiously. Thinking that she would assume that he was going to finish watching the movie and hence would call after it ended, he had kept track of time. That time had passed, and another thirty minutes after that… Every passing minute had stretched like an hour for him. He had kept on loitering in the living room, even keeping the bathroom door open when he had gone in, because he was afraid he would miss her call. His treacherous brain had formed several scenarios in which she decided against calling him. There were so many negative points – he had never appreciated her when they were in Ahmedabad, he had been rude on the last day they had met, he had almost yelled at her in the movie theatre… Maybe there were few more marks against him… He had even picturized a scenario where she had torn up the paper with his number and threw it in dustbin. And thus finally when she had called he hadn’t had the courage to tell her that he was no longer with Priya and hence available for her.

I can see you know a bit more than kissing now.

What had he been thinking? Even when he had dated those girls in college he had never flirted with them. But whenever he was with Naina he flirted as naturally as if he was a pro. Be it in school on the pond-side when he had proposed the kiss, or today when he had commented on her ass, and then again on phone… And if… if she had given her address he could bet every bit of money he had earned that he would have gone over without even a second thought. And then what were all those thoughts of kissing her today? The way she was affecting him was insane… Earlier he had thought Naina had just captured his attention because she was different… But now he knew that the girl in oily pigtails had somehow wormed her way deeper in his heart that he had imagined. And his body was evidence of how heavily he was attracted to her. Even Priya’s roaming hand on his chest hadn’t been able to achieve the kind of reaction from his body Naina had aroused with just a simple smile and a tremble in her voice.

He picked up her photo that adorned his bedside table, and wondered now that he knew he was attracted to her what should he do? Should he ask her out? Should he tell her how he felt about her? And how would he exactly phrase his attraction in words… He couldn’t really go up and tell her that he wanted to kiss her. And plus he knew since school that Naina was waiting for “the one” in her life. She wouldn’t date casually to just see if things would work or not. She would not just demand time and attention, she would want commitment, and she would want rosy stuff like love. And let’s be honest… What the heck did he even know about love? He just knew it was a mushy sort of feeling that he had never felt. And even if Naina decided to date him without an instant commitment then what did he have to offer her? He had no money to spare for regular dates, he had no popularity as in Ahmedabad, and he was busy from morning to evening the whole week which translated into no time to meet daily. Hadn’t he himself thought that Naina deserved so much better than a hurried movie date with some make-out in corner seats? Yes, he had thought she deserved candle light dinners, flowers, cozy movies at home, slow dancing and soft kisses… And he was in no position to offer all that.

He sat down on bed, disappointed with his analysis. When he had all the money, fame and convenience he hadn’t appreciated the pureness Naina had to offer. He had been stuck with her image of oily pigtails and no sense of style. And now when he realized how much he liked those oily pigtails, Naina had changed so much that he didn’t have anything to offer her anymore. Holding the photo close to him, he lay down on his pillow and whispered, “what should I do?” Lost in thoughts he didn’t realize when he fell asleep and that night he dreamt of holding Naina in his arms and kissing her.

The next morning was bright with sunshine, but Sameer and Naina’s mind was clouded in thoughts. They both came up with different arguments about why thinking about the other was not something they should do, and yet repeatedly started to reminisce their recent meeting. Despair and loneliness dissipated with memories and hope sprouted like a fragile plant in their hearts. While Naina wanted to talk to him, she also had limitless apprehensions about being rejected, and she was unable to decide what she should do next. Sameer on the other hand had come to terms with his attraction and really wanted to see if there was any scope of being with Naina. He wanted to know more about her… If the superficial relationship of pranks they had shared could have been so potent for him, then how would real relationship with her be? He needed to know that. And so he made up his mind to call her… Ecstatic with his decision he nearly hopped to the phone booth while on his way to office that evening, but it was then that he realized he didn’t have her number.

God… What an idiot Sameer… What didn’t you ask for her number yesterday?

He had been busy flirting, so overjoyed at just the opportunity to talk to her that anything about future hadn’t appeared in his thoughts. Plus exchanging phone numbers was not something they had done before. They would meet just like that… on their way to school… planning for pranks… during the fest… But now… They weren’t in Ahmedabad any more. He didn’t know which college she attended. He had no idea where she lived. How would he get to meet her? Mumbai was such a big city that even if they lived in the same area it could be years before he spotted her. With dismay spreading in his heart he realized there was only one thing to do now… Wait… Wait for her to call him again, and hope that she did truly call him again.

Naina kept debating with herself if she should call him again or not. She had hoped he would call her, but then she had also realized that he didn’t have her number. So it was up to her to call him again. Would he want her to call? Or would he be surprised if she did? What would she do if he expressed that he was not expecting her to call him? Ahmedabad was so simple. There was no formality to call. They just played pranks on each other, automatically waited for their turn, kept a look out on way to school, and the period of fest felt like a blessing. Each meeting was a surprise but still eagerly anticipated. But now, things weren’t the same. She had no clue where he lived or where he studied. Was he living in a hostel? Or maybe some society since he mentioned about the kid next door… She didn’t know, but she wanted to know.

C’mon Naina… Just call him… The maximum that can happen is that he will laugh and say it was just a one-time thing.

But that was exactly what held her back. Few years ago she had been bold enough to think that she will walk in any relation with her eyes open, and deal with the hurt if things didn’t work out. But after the rejection from him on the last day in Ahmedabad, and then the problem in her family, she just didn’t have any courage to face another rejection. At that time she had thought she didn’t feel anything for him, and still it had hurt her… And now when she knew that she couldn’t be oblivious to him, the fear of being hurt once again made her halt every time she picked up the phone. It took her two days to decide and finally come up with enough courage to call him. But when she looked for the slip of paper with his number in her purse she couldn’t find it. She searched through her entire room frantically but still couldn’t find it. Disappointed she flopped down on a chair and tried to think where it could it. Closing her eyes, she tried to recollect the day she had called him… It was night, and she had dialed his number… and the paper… where did she keep it? Yes… she had slipped it into a stack of magazine near the telephone so that it wouldn’t be blown away in wind.

She stood up and rushed to the phone, only to stare in shock at the empty shelves. The stack of magazine was gone. She looked through in the cupboards and showcases but she couldn’t find any of it. Desperate she went to PB and enquired about the magazines.

PB was stirring the dal for dinner, “oh those… I sold them off to the pastiwala.”

Naina gasped in shock, “what!? Sold them… Why?”

PB turned to look at her, “because they were old. What’s wrong Naina? If you need any old editions of those magazines just go and buy one again.”

“There… there was a paper inside”, Naina mumbled.

PB queried, “paper? What paper? Was it important?”

Very much. More than anything she owned.

Aloud she muttered, “no… just something of college. It’s alright.”

It was gone… Sameer’s number was gone and now she had no idea what to do. Even if she went to the pastiwala who had bought the magazines it was impossible to find that small slip of paper. Still she did go there next day, asking about the small paper, but the man shook his head helplessly. Finally, that night she went out to the balcony, silently crying as she stared at the moon wishing to find some way to meet him again and thinking that maybe he wasn’t in her destiny… maybe it was a one-time thing.

Same night at the same time, in another balcony Sameer stood staring at the same moon silently willing for her to call him. Even after three days he hadn’t lost hope. He just kept thinking what could keep her from calling him again. Then the thought came that maybe it was fate… maybe they weren’t meant to be together. Maybe they were supposed to meet just that once. That night he couldn’t sleep properly, but the next morning he had decided to refute fate if that meant he couldn’t meet Naina… He would find her. There had been a time when he had no idea where she was, but at least now he knew that she was in Mumbai. And no matter how big Mumbai was, it wasn’t big enough to keep Naina away from him. He would find her.

Naina had also decided to at least try getting in touch with him. And so she tried to scan through the phone directory, spending the next few weeks desperately calling every Sameer and every Maheshwari listed in the phone book. Sameer also started the rigorous process of visiting every college in Mumbai and asking about a girl called Naina Agarwal.

Naina talked to several Sameer and several Maheshwari but none of them was her Sameer Maheshwari. Every time she would dial a number anticipation would race through her, she would think this was it, but as soon as she heard the voice at the other end she knew it wasn’t him. She would be sad for a minute and then again pick up her morale and start dialing the next number on her list.

Sameer met several Naina but none of them was his Naina Agarwal. There was a ray of hope when he ended up in H.R. College and a boy informed that Naina Agarwal was in the library. He was sure it was her, and ran inside only to be scolded by the librarian and then get to know that Naina Agarwal was there but again it wasn’t his Naina. What he didn’t get to know was that there was one more Naina Agarwal in the same college who had skipped classes that day and was sitting in a phone booth nearby trying to call up the next five Sameer on her list.

Months went by with no success, a Diwali trip home turned downhill for Naina, and by the time the next year dawned Sameer and Naina began to lose hope of ever meeting again. Naina made one last desperate attempt; she called up Preeti and asked, “did Sameer call?”

Preeti’s eyes widened in shock, “n…no… why are you asking?”

“I met him”, Naina informed, “in July… He gave me his number and we talked on phone. But then, I lost his number and he doesn’t have mine.”

Preeti was surprised, “July? Naina… this is January… and you are telling me now? Why did you meet him after what he had done? Why did you call him? And how come he is in Mumbai?”

Naina sighed, “he lives here. And we met by chance in a theatre. I had gone for a movie with Danny and he… he started misbehaving with me. Sameer saved me.”

Preeti calmed down a bit on hearing this, and then asked, “was he there with a girl?”

Naina gulped but honestly said, “yes he was… still he came to me when I needed help and he even offered to drop me home. But I said no… and that’s when he gave me his number. I called him that night to let him know that I reached home safe, but then… I lost his number.”

Preeti was silent for a moment, and then informed, “Sameer didn’t call recently, but he had called during the summer vacation, just after you had left.”

Naina gasped, “so long ago… why? And why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to be sad”, Preeti said helplessly, “somehow he had got to know you were here, and he said he needed to meet you. He was ready to go to any city for you… I thought he loved you. But he said he didn’t… So… I didn’t tell him where you were.”

Naina understood her sister’s point of view but still she was frustrated. Irked she asked, “anything else you haven’t told me?”

Preeti sighed, “yes… in your first year also Sameer tried to find you.”

Naina sank on the sofa in shock, “he… he did?”

Preeti checked around to make sure no was listening, and said, “yes… Munna and Pandit came to ask us. He had asked them to search for you… But Swati and I didn’t tell anything.”

Naina didn’t know whether to feel happy that Sameer had looked for her so many times, or feel angry on her sister and friend for trying to control her life. But she knew they had meant well… Hence she didn’t get angry, but tried to explain, “Preeti, I understand you meant well. But at least, you could have informed me about it and let me decide.”

Preeti was exasperated, “and how could we? Did you even talk properly with us? You wouldn’t even tell me and Swati about what happened that day… why everyone here assumed you have a boyfriend… I tried so many times to get you to speak but… but you just left. We only wanted to protect you.”

Naina closed her eyes, recalling the fateful day, and informed in a matter of fact way, “I was on my way back from school when Sameer’s bike bumped into my cycle and I fell down. He helped me but didn’t talk properly… He was almost rude; not like the Sameer I knew. I stopped talking but he still came with me, driving beside my cycle to drop me home. Sujata aunty must have seen us together because he came till the society lane. And the rest you already know…”

Preeti held her forehead trying to piece the information together, “so that’s why Sujata aunty told Taiji that you were having an affair with some boy. And Taiji naturally blew everything out of proportion… It’s not that difficult considering Rakesh Tauji’s temper. But Naina… why didn’t you tell everyone about the accident and Sameer?”

“Really Preeti”, Naina scoffed, “what would I have said? That an unknown boy was so worried about me that he came to drop me home? Or that he was my friend? If I had taken Sameer’s name then his family would have been embarrassed by all the drama our family would have done. And no matter what, I respect his Nanaji a lot.”

Preeti had tears in her eyes, “so… to uphold the respect of his family you took all the blame on yourself… And not just that time, but even now people talk about your alleged affair.”

“And they will keep talking”, Naina replied indignantly, “I will not lie that it doesn’t affect me… It does. But it doesn’t define me… And those people are not important for me. What hurt me is that even my family didn’t believe me. And Arjun bhaiya… even he thinks I have an affair.”

Preeti was puzzled, “Arjun bhaiya?”

Naina sighed and confided, “he had an affair with Shefali.”

Preeti gasped, “oh God… He lied?”

“Yes he did”, Naina said, “he promised the world to Shefali but couldn’t raise his voice in-front of our family to support their relationship. When I was home for Diwali I confronted him, and he accused me of embarrassing our family with my affair. So I am not talking to him anymore.”

Preeti sighed, “what an idiot. I had my doubts but didn’t believe he could do such a thing to a girl.”

Naina shrugged, not wanting to talk about it anymore, instead she said, “listen Preeti… will you help me?”

“Yes, tell me”, Preeti immediately said.

Naina bit her lip and then asked, “can you meet Munna and Pandit? Get Sameer’s number for me… or give them my number. Tell them I want to talk to Sameer. And yes… you can tell this to Swati as well. I will call her on weekend.”

Preeti agreed, but it was easier said than done. When she and Swati went to meet them they got to know that their college had some kind of exchange program, and the boys had gone to Delhi for three months, and were supposed to return sometime in March. This information further disappointed Naina. Sameer also tried calling Preeti during this time, but every time it was someone or the other who picked up and he cursed his luck. His energy was draining day by day; he didn’t know how long he could continue holding onto the hope of meeting her. The search he was carrying on in whatever time he got was exhausting, and expensive, both. Add to that it was taking a toll on his physical health as well. He didn’t even celebrate his birthday. When Nanu insisted that either he visit Ahmedabad or let him get a housekeeper, Sameer refused both the condition but rather asked if he could send over his bike to Mumbai. He earned enough to shell out the money for petrol and that would save him the struggling journeys in Mumbai local train. Nanu even proposed getting him a new bike, but he again refused… He wanted his bike… The bike that had gone through the torment of slashed tyres, dabbed with grease, painted the shade of shocking pink, decapitated wires, emptied of petrol – all atrocious things done by Naina… He wanted that bike…

Struggling days of February went by, and March arrived. Since the girls had no idea when Munna and Pandit would return, they used to go their college every alternate day. And finally on 12^th March they spotted the boys coming out of the college gates. Swati called out to them, “Munna… Pandit.”

The boys stopped in surprise, and went up to them. Pandit greeted them, “hi… what are you doing here?”

Preeti replied, “we were waiting for you since last two months.”

Munna was puzzled, “but why?”

“We need Sameer’s number”, Swati said without any preliminaries, “Naina wants to talk to him.”

Pandit was slightly irked, “is it…? Why should we give you his number? Remember when we came to ask for help? Both of you refused.”

Preeti sighed, “we are sorry… but this time it is different. Naina and Sameer have already met once last year. And he gave his number to her, but she has lost it. That’s why we are asking for it.”

“They have met…”, Munna muttered in shock, “when? Sameer didn’t tell us anything.”

Swati informed, “last year in July… They met accidentally in a movie theatre.”

“Please give us his number”, Preeti pleaded.

Pandit automatically answered, “022 432914”

The girls thanked them profusely and were about to leave when Munna suddenly stopped them, “wait… Does Naina know we are back?”

Swati was puzzled, “no… even we didn’t know until we saw you today.”

“Good”, Munna said quickly, “then can you please hold off this information for few more days?”

Preeti was also confused, “why?”

Munna thought for some time and then confided, “we need to inform Nanaji.” There were more confused questions from the girls, and Munna continued explaining, “Nanaji has chosen Naina for Sameer…”

Preeti stammered in shock, “ch…chosen? As in… marriage.”

Pandit nodded, “yes… Even in school Nanaji thought they were in love, which is why he got both our schools together for the fest. Didn’t we also think the same about them? But they never understood their feelings… Sameer turned 21 last year, and Nanaji had a deal with him that if Sameer didn’t have any girlfriend till then, then Nananji would find a girl for him. And he told us the girl is Naina.”

There was a long silence, and then Preeti grinned, “you mean… Sameer’s Nanaji is going to come to our home? Like… a proper wedding proposal for Naina? And that’s how you want them to meet?”

Pandit also started grinning, “I always knew you were intelligent.”

Swati was also smiling now, “but how will this happen?”

Munna said, “I don’t know… hey… I have an idea… Let’s go meet Nanaji now. Do you girls have some time?”

The girls agreed and the four of them hailed an auto and went to Sameer’s house where they were received by a surprised Ramdhari. Nanaji had just arrived from office, and he listened with interest to the tale the girls had to share. He was not surprised that Sameer had not confided in him, he must have not realized yet about love, and that was okay. Also, Sameer would also remember the deal about marriage, so he was probably holding back on even talking about any girl. The story the girls said told him of how much desperately Sameer wanted Naina to be with him, how much he cared for her, and also… how much Naina cared for him. That was enough to go on for now. If Naina was looking for Sameer since so many months, then he was sure Sameer was also doing the same. The time had finally come for them to meet.

One week and some arrangements later Nanaji went to meet Naina’s Tauji regarding a legal matter, and also kick-started the discussion about Sameer’s wedding proposal for Naina. To say that Tauji was shocked would be an understatement, but after a long discussion and some deliberation he started to see the business benefits for himself on being personally associated with such a big name. There was a lot of resistance at home, especially from Anand who straightaway refused to get Naina married while she was in college, but Rakesh insisted saying that his daughter was no good for family and getting rid of her would be the best thing to do. Finally, Anand requested to meet Jayprakashji without informing his brothers, and expressed his concern and refusal both. To his astonishment Jayprakashji fully supported his opinion and said the wedding can be done after they finished college, and he also mentioned that he just wanted a caring and loving wife for his grandson, he didn’t require any dowry and he had no objection if Naina wanted to have a career of her own in a different field. He even assured that if Naina wanted to go for higher studies neither he nor Sameer would stop her. Anand spent a lot of time to know more about Sameer from his grandfather, and also saw his photograph. Upon enquiring on how he got to know about Naina even though the families belonged to different social class and Naina wasn’t even living her anymore, Nanu told him that he knew Naina from school. Elaborating their first meeting in temple, Nanu mentioned that since then he had wished for someone like her for his grandson. The meeting reassured Anand that even if it was for personal gains, his eldest brother had by chance gotten the perfect match for Naina.

On the other hand Sameer was so frustrated with the way things were stuck and his overwhelming helplessness that he pulled out his diary and looked back at the poem he had written in the days after meeting her when he had waited desperately for her to call him again.

Once again it is raining today,

Once again I listen to only you.

 

Standing in the rain, I close my eyes,

And the only thing I see is you.

The thunder absorbs my silent cries,

And the only thing I hear is you.

 

Once again it is raining today,

Once again I miss only you.

 

The water cascades down my face,

And I wait for my heart to revive.

The clouds surround in a haze,

And I wait for my soul to feel alive.

 

Once again it is raining today,

Once again I think of only you.

 

The lighting flashes in the sky,

And I wish I could be whole again.

The memories drench my eye,

And I wish I could live again.

 

Once again it is raining today,

Once again I yearn for only you.

Just a page before that he had written the questions from Nanu. Blinking back his tears he turned the page to refer to the questions… Trying to shut off the confusion in his brain, he let his heart answer each one of them.

You can hold a hundred hands, yet there could only be the touch of one hand that you will crave… Is that Naina’s hand?

YES!

You might meet many girls, but still the most precious moments could only be with one… Is that the time you spent with Naina?

YES!

You can be amidst thousands of people and yet miss that one person… Is that Naina?

YES!

Shocked with his own answers he stumbled on the bed, and panted for breath. He read through the questions again and again, debating, arguing with himself, trying to deny his feelings… But each time the answers were YES.

Once in a lifetime you meet someone who changes everything. If the answers to those questions are yes, then you have already met that someone.

Nanu had told him this… So this meant Naina was that someone… Naina was… she was “the one” for him. Oh my God. He loved Naina… He was in love. The shock of this realization nearly shook the earth beneath his feet and his heart thundered madly. Love? Really? He had no idea what was love… But if Naina was the only girl in his life, the someone Nanu was talking about then it must mean he loved her. What should he do now? Nanu… He needed to talk to Nanu.

This was so huge for him that he was almost lost in a daze for a couple of days, he kept thinking what if his analysis was wrong, what if he was confusing generic attraction to something deeper. He tried several tactics to refute that he was in love – first he tried to imagine kissing someone else, maybe the most beautiful girls he had ever seen, but when he closed his eyes to imagine the only face he saw was of Naina; second he tried to visualize Naina with someone else but immediately the image of Danny putting a hand on her shoulder popped in his brain and he again wanted to punch that punk senseless; third he tried to imagine his future days without talking to Naina and without meeting her, but all he recalled was how miserable he was every time she stopped talking to him. The third imagination was the deal clincher because when he thought of his days without Naina in future all he could see was a desolation that was unbearable.

Finally, one day he decided that he needed to stop procrastinating and tell Nanu, he would surely find a way to know where Naina is. And hadn’t Nanu said that he should tell him if he liked any girl? He practiced what he wanted to say, and then dialed up his number, giving himself mental pep-talk for courage.

Nanu picked up the call, “Hello.”

Sameer smiled, “Hello Nanu… How are you?”

Nanu grinned, “Sameer… what a wonderful surprise. I was just about to call you.”

Sameer frowned, “you were? Why?”

“I have found the perfect girl for you”, Nanu informed enthusiastically, “and I have scheduled for you to meet her in Marina café on Sunday, 6pm, table number 3.”

Sameer felt the earth shift beneath his feet and stammered an objection, “b…but Na…Nanu… I can’t… I lo…”

Nanu interrupted, “I don’t want to hear any excuses Sameer. You had promised me that you would marry the girl I choose once you turn 21. I have given you many months even after your birthday, but not any more… This girl is very good and I am sure she will be perfect for you. Now, I have to go for an urgent meeting, but you remember to meet her… Don’t disappoint me Sameer.”

The beeping tone of the disconnected call matched the heavy beats of his heart. Marriage? Meet a girl? Why now? Just when he had some clarity on his feelings for Naina, he now had to deal with another problem. What should he do?

Same day another call almost wreaked havoc in Naina’s life as Chachaji informed her of the wedding proposal, with Chachiji and Preeti exclaiming in delight in background. She thought she could also hear Tauji and Taiji. How was it possible? How could they do this? Hadn’t it been decided that she would move to Mumbai because of her affair? She had been spared the punishment of getting married to some unknown person. But now it seemed like they were just waiting… bidding time… for what? Definitely not for a good match… Tauji and Taiji would never do that for her. They would only think of getting rid of her. And her father would do the same as long as he didn’t have to pay any dowry. But Chachaji? Wasn’t he the one who always insisted about the value of education? Didn’t he always promise that there would be no pressure on her for marriage? Then what happened now? Already she was in a dilemma regarding her feelings for Sameer, and then the frustration of not being able to find him, and now this… How would she deal with the prospect of marriage to an unknown person? How would she meet some other boy without thinking about how possessively Sameer had reacted on seeing her with Danny? How would she talk to some random boy when all she wanted desperately was to hear Sameer’s voice one more time?