Love Me Tonight: Prologue

An hour after the sunset when some parts of the world moved to relaxed tranquility, Mumbai instead started to come alive. Streetlights gleamed golden brightening up the roads as if it was daytime; the number of vehicles only kept on increasing, their red tail lights adding to over overall mystique of the evening; the twittering of birds was overlapped with the cacophony of thousands of conversations. There was no dearth of activity, each person on the road had a dream to fulfill or had just experienced a dream being shattered, but no one knew the other’s story. Mumbai had the tendency to wrap a person in cocoon of his own amid the moving mass, there may be thousands around, yet one remained an individual instead of being a part of the crowd.

A black Opel Astra cut through the intersection at break neck speed, the driver sitting stoic, his gaze bit unfocused. It screeched to a halt on the asphalt of a parking lot, the sign of Club Vortex flashing neon blue on a single storey sprawling construction. Couple of men going inside stared enviously at the new car, but ignored the man that stumbled out of it. A watchman rushed up, asking the man if he needed any help, but the man shook his head and walked bit unsteadily toward the lighted doorway of the club.

A woman near the door greeted, “welcome sir. May I know you name please?”

“Sameer Maheshwari”, the man stated, “table for one.”

“Certainly sir”, the woman smiled, and signaled for a waiter to come over.

Soon Sameer was seated at a table in the corner. The waiter placed a fat menu, but he pushed it aside, “whisky… on the rocks.”

The waiter bowed, “sure sir… konsa wala pasand karenge?”

Sameer tilted his head staring at the young waiter, “jo tumhe pasand ho woh le aao… aur rukna mat… keep repeating.”

The waited nodded with a smile, and immediately served the best whisky on their menu. Sameer took a small sip, then another… and then drowned the entire content in one go, his eyes watering, he coughed, the burn in his throat complementing the burn in his heart.

 

“Will you marry me?”

“What? Are you mad Sameer? I can’t get married to you…

 

“Waiter”, he hollered, and was immediately served on more glass. As glasses after glasses emptied, memories of the day crowded his mind, blurring the edge of pain, but settling a deep sense of desolation inside him. It was October 16, 1998, when majority of movie lovers in India were gushing over the love story of Rahul and Anjali, talking about the surprise appearance of Salman Khan, were debating over Tina’s beauty and Hindi speaking skills… A film had released, that was estimated to be one of the iconic works of Shahrukh Khan, a love saga… And here he was… Sameer Maheshwari… A loser in the field of love…

 

Main kisi dusre caste ke ladke ke saath shaadi nahi kar sakti… My family would never allow that…

 

Sameer Maheshwari was on the verge of being a successful businessman, a journey that had started out when he had moved out of Ahmedabad. He liked to think of himself as a nomad… When he was a kid he had studied in Nainital, a sprawling convent hostel was his home. From the age of 13-16 he had stayed in Delhi, his mother’s home, he preferred to call it, where she stayed with her second husband and his family. The next two years he had spent in Ahmedabad with his Nanu, the best part of his life, and the most weird one as well, because in a bid to avoid studying at the same school as his step-dad he had taken admission in a Hindi medium school. It should have been a horrifying experience, but funnily enough it turned out to be the most memorable one, because that was where he found friends in the form of Munna and Pandit. However, any happiness in his life was always short-lived… By the time his 12^th board exams approached, he got news of his step-father going bankrupt after a heavy loss in business, and his mother suggested moving the family to Ahmedabad. Nanu agreed in order to help out his daughter, but also because he was gullible enough to think that it was indeed a short term solution as proposed by his mother, Vishakha. The idea was that they would stay with Nanu, until his step-father, Mr. Somani started to stabilize himself in the business world once more.

However, even then Sameer somehow knew that this wasn’t a temporary arrangement, his mother was shrewd enough to manipulate the situation, and so he had expressed his wish to do his college in Mumbai. Nanu had been taken aback, but after some deliberation he had agreed thinking that his studies would suffer with the constant company of a family he didn’t want to be with. And so he had done the next one year in a college in Mumbai, and then had taken a transfer to a college in London, wanting to experience something new. London had opened up his views and experiences both, and he had had his first girl-friend there. Shaili, an Indian, born and raised in London, who liked to spell her name as Shelly just to fit in. A couple of months of bliss, and then they had finally taken a step, that he usually thought was only reserved for post-wedding. That night he had fallen asleep with a dream, but next morning the bed next to him had been empty, a brief interaction in college had made him realize that he wasn’t Shaili’s first and neither would he be the last. He had drowned his first sorrow of being dumped by wasting away in a pub, for more than five days in a row. And by the end of that week he had learnt the art of what people in London liked to call, hooking up…

By the time his two years in London was about to get over, he had been habituated to never take matters of heart seriously, and keep every relationship casual. He didn’t make a habit of it, but he couldn’t say that he was a novice anymore. And then he came back to India… However, now Ahmedabad didn’t allure him anymore. The city felt too small for the restless being he had become. Also, his mother and her family were still there, which never made him feel at home. Nanu tried to talk to him, to understand about his life, but over the last two years the more socially active he had become, the more elusive he was in his personal life. Not even the girls in his life knew anything about him, except of course his skills in bed. After some more effort Nanu understood that he won’t be able to reach his grandson anymore, like he had had before, and so to give him the space he seemed to need, Nanu decided to send him off to Mumbai once more.

Nanu thought to expand his own business, add a separate branch, but Sameer sought permission to start something of his own. And so on a fine morning in December 1995, the inception of SJM Enterprise was celebrated. Sameer had chosen to keep his Nanu’s name along with his own, because that was the only relationship in his life that hadn’t changed with time and convenience. Nanu still adored him, and he still loved and respected Nanu, it’s just that they couldn’t stay together in the current circumstances. While Nanu had focused on textile manufacturing, Sameer chose to focus on distribution and sales of exclusive handlooms, intending to expand his business slowly with cloth studios and exports. Business made him focus more on work rather than his other pursuits, but once in a while, he would go to clubs. He had thought that after London, Mumbai would seem like a parched ground with dearth of opportunities, however he was mistaken. He was astounded that there were many girls in this city as well who were interested in no-commitment casual hookups. He liked his life… He was a free bird… until a year ago, when he had met a girl with whom he thought it would just be a matter of a night. But then they had collided with each other again… and again… and so had begun a series of meet-ups which began in bedroom of her friend’s apartment, but slowly started to cover coffee shops and dinner as well. The idea of an exclusive relationship started to appeal him once more, and her attitude towards life was infectious. And so today, on her birthday, he decided to convert the exclusivity into permanency… Only… He hadn’t accounted for the fact that she could have other ideas…

 

Jab tumse mili toh laga ke tum yeh sab samajhte ho aur meri hi tarah life me bas maze karna chahte ho… Par tum toh suddenly serious ho gaye.

Suddenly? Hume ek saal ho gaya…

So? Koi expiry date thodi na hai… Ek saal ho gaya toh shaadi karlo… It was just sex, Sameer.

 

Sameer downed another glass, not even keeping a track of the count. The waiter asked if he would like some food, but Sameer chuckled sarcastically, “dil ka dard sirf sharab se jaata hai yaar… khana khilake kya karega? Jaa ek glass aur le aa…” Sounds of laughter broke the melancholy surrounding him for a second, and he blinked, shaking his head, trying to look who was so happy. He spotted a group, maybe five-six people, they were singing the birthday song, celebrating. When the waiter came back with the drink, Sameer muttered, “unn logo se bolo ke jiske liye taali baja rahe hai uska character check karle… saala aaj ke din jo bhi paida hua hai sab kamine hai… sab dhokebaaz hai.”

A lilting laughter made his head turn, and the waiter escaped shaking his head at his customer. Sameer spotted a flash of pink, and remembered the bunch of blush pink roses that had been crushed under expensive strappy stilettos. How often had he asked her to keep those sexy heels on when they had made love immediately after a date? Now he wondered if she had worn those when she was with others as well. Did she bring those other men to the same bed that they made love on? And was it even lovemaking? Apparently not…

 

Don’t be silly Sameer… Hamara relationship convenience ka tha… Tum itne bewakuf toh nahi ho jo socho ke meri life me sirf tum ho? Hum hafte me ek baar milte hai… Aur phir tumhare foreign trips hote hai… Do you really think that main kisi devoted girlfriend ki tarah tumhara intezaar karti rehti thi?

 

God… How could he have been so foolish? Why hadn’t he remembered what Shaili had taught him? Why had he fallen once more like a naïve foolish idiot? And why… why did everyone had to hurt him? He wasn’t perfect… He knew that… A lot of girls might find him repulsive even, given his sexual life, but it wasn’t like he took advantage of girls or cheated in relationships. He maintained the rules, and if in a relationship like he had been for the past one year, he had kept complete exclusivity. He had never even thought of cheating, and how easy it was for her to inform him that he wasn’t the only one in her life… What should he do?

Suddenly a girl came to stand near him, “hey… drinking alone? Achchi aadat nahi hai.”

He smirked, immediately catching on to the approach, “mujhe aadat hai… thank you.”

She stroked a finger down his shoulder, “why don’t you buy me a drink?”

He shuddered, recoiling instantly, and his tone was stiff as she replied, “not interested.”

The girl walked away, muttering something that he couldn’t hear. He looked at his hands… Was this his life then? Touch random women once more… Buy them drinks… Go to their place or a hotel… Scout out clubs for random prospects… It made him feel disgusted with himself, and the pain that had slowly started to blur with alcohol returned sharper than before.

How to ease this pain? He wished he could talk… But he didn’t even know whom to talk to…

Nanu would be horrified… Munna and Pandit just vaguely knew about his lifestyle, but both of them were married even before he had returned from London, and he didn’t want even the shadow of the person he was in their life. They had love, stability, family… And he was a loner… A person who was probably cursed to never have a family… His place wasn’t among the happy smiling faces of his friend’s family… If he mingled more, then, probably he would end up destroying their life as well – just like his mother’s. No, he couldn’t talk to them… Well, it seemed like the glasses of whisky were his only companion.

 

“Waiter”, he hollered, “one more glass.”

The waiter came over soon, but slowly suggested, “sir, aapne bahot pee li hai…”

Sameer chuckled, “abhi toh shuru kiya hai…”, and then queried, “bathroom… bathroom kahan hai?”

The waiter pointed to the right, where the group was celebrating, “uss taraf hai sir… straight and then right.”

Sameer stood up unsteadily, holding onto the back of chair, and bit his lip, trying to focus on the empty spaces between tables. His vision was blurry, and the chairs seemed to be moving on their own… Wow… Maybe he did drink too much… Should he close his eyes and walk? Somehow he found the question to be extremely funny and laughed softly, his right leg bumped into a chair, and he stumbled, almost about to fall face down… But just then a soft pair of arms held him, supported him, and he inhaled an intoxicating sweet fragrance.

A gentle soothing voice spoke from his side, “aap theek toh hai na?”

A girl… He managed to grab a chair, and with her help straightened once more, “I am fine… thank you… bathroom…”

The girl gasped, her hands falling away from his arms, and then she whispered, “Sameer…”

He blinked, trying to look at her properly. Her face swam in and out of his vision… He was drunk, but not so drunk that he wouldn’t register that the girl in-front of him was pretty… And she was wearing pink… Maybe she was same one he had spotted some time ago… A part of that birthday group. But he couldn’t exactly place her in his memory… Yet she knew his name. He tried to recall if he ever had a night where he didn’t even know the girl’s name… But no… He wasn’t that down-market… He squinted at her once more, trying to recall if he had seen her features before, but even though she did look vaguely familiar, he couldn’t remember anything, and so he asked, “which year?”

Her brows drew in a puzzled frown, and even that made her look cute, he thought. He licked his dry lips, and slowly repeated, “which year we met? Konse saal me?”

“Oh”, she smiled, “umm… 1990.”

He narrowed his eyes at her, and then chuckled, shaking his head, “nahi ho sakta… main toh tab school me tha… too young to have sex.”

Her eyes widened and faint blush tinged her cheeks, “uh… mera… mera woh matlab nahi tha…”

He tried to control his swaying movements, “tum jaisi khoobsurat ladki… I am sure mujhe yaad rehta… aur itni beautiful ladki se main sirf usi wajah se milta hun… you know, sex…”

She blushed even more, and seemed to be bit amused, but he didn’t know the reason. However, after a moment, she replied, “hum school me saath padhte the… Ahmedabad me.”

The information surprised him, and he scratched his head, once more squinting at her, trying to remember. Leaning further closer, he let his eyes roam over her face. She bit her lip, distracting him for a moment, and helpfully supplied, “padhaku, behenji, teacher ki chamchi…”

However, he didn’t pay much attention to her words, his gaze moving up from her lips, to her sharp little nose, to her well-defined cheekbones, and then to her big pretty eyes. Recognition clicked in his brain as their eyes met… His heart thumped hard once, and his voice seemed to draw from the depths of his chest as he murmured, “Naina…”