Love Me Tonight Chapter 8: Shades of SJM

I love you Naina, aur main tumhe chodke kahin nahi jaa raha… Deal with it…

That might just be the sweetest lines she had ever heard in her life… A small smile automatically curved her lips, her gaze softened with emotions she had been fighting to hide, and her heartbeats drummed a tune of happiness against her ribcage… She couldn’t help the soft astonishment and longing in her voice as she muttered, “you came back…”

“I will always come back to you”, he assured, “no matter how hard you push me away…”

A sound from outside broke her trance, and she jerked, “what… tum yahan mere ghar me kyun aaye ho? Subah kaha tha na maine that you are not welcome here…”

He crossed his arms, “nahi… tumne kaha tha tumhari choti si duniya me meri jagah nahi hai… isiliye main apni jagah banane aaya hun.”

“Yeh mumkin nahi hai… Tum bahot bade insaan ho, tumhari apni alag duniya hai…”, she tried to explain, “tumhara business, tumhari personal life… sab bahot alag hai… Main bas ek mamuli insaan hun… ek ladki jo tumhare school me padhti thi… that’s it…”

He walked over to stand directly in-front of her, invading her personal space, “I know tum yeh sab kyun kar rahi ho Naina…” She blinked up at him, holding onto the kitchen platform at her back for support. He lifted his hand, lightly stroking his fingertips on her hair, “you are not able to trust me… I know maine uss raat nashe ki haalat me jo sab bakwaas ki uske wajah se tum soch rahi ho ke tum mere liye important nahi ho… tumhe lag raha hai ke woh raat jo hua woh mere liye normal tha… I know ke main kitni baar bhi apne pyaar ka izhaar karu, it won’t be enough… But Naina… can I ask you something?”

She gulped and nodded. He smiled a bit, “do you really think that sharaab peeke boli gayi kuch sentences se mere character ko judge karna sahi hai? That night… did you really feel that you are just an option for me? Jab maine tumhe kiss kiya, tumhe chua usse tumhe kuch pata nahi chala? Aaj, abhi… meri aankhon me dekhke tumhe kuch mehsoos nahi ho raha? Aur yeh sab kuch side pe rakho… don’t you think that I deserve a chance to love and be loved? Don’t you think you deserve a chance to be happy? Don’t you think our baby deserves the love and presence of both mother and father?”

She tried to ignore all the statements, and just asked, “tumhe lagta hai meri khushi tumhare saath hai?”

This time confidence shone in his eyes, “I cannot guarantee ke main tumhe khush rakh paunga… But… I can guarantee ke main tumhari khushi ke liye kuch bhi karunga, sivaay tumse dur jaaneke…” She opened her mouth to say something, but he hushed her, “shsh… I know… tum mera jawaab use karke mujhse kehti ke mere dur jaane me tumhari khushi hai… lekin main jaanta hun ke abhi tum yeh sirf gusse aur darr me bologi… That is why I am saying Naina… Give me a chance… Give us a chance… Uske baad bhi if you are sure that mere saath tumhari khushi nahi hai toh I promise main tumhari life se door chala jaunga… But right now, I feel all three of us deserve a chance.”

Her eyes showcased her confusion, “three?”

He nodded, “Naina… main jaanta hun ke tum… I mean tumhari mom nahi hai… aur dad toh hote hue bhi nahi hai…” Moisture sprung in her eyes, and he hated it… Cupping her face, he softly continued, “do you know… main bhi apne parents ke bina bada hua hun…” Her eyes widened at that revelation. His lips curved in a sarcastic smile, “my dad died when I was a year old… unki shakal bhi mujhe yaad nahi… my mom re-married when I was two… Ek saal unhone mujhe Nanu ke paas rakha yeh kehke ke unhe apni nayi zindagi me adjust honeke liye time chahiye. Uske baad mujhe apne saath le gaye, lekin uss ghar me mujhe samajh me nahi aata tha ke mere saath kya ho raha hai… Can you imagine a 4 year old kid feeling unhappy with his mother? Do you even remember how you were when you were 4 year old? I remember… And all I remember is crying… sometimes because I missed Nanu… sometimes because I was hungry… sometimes because my mother was playing with another kid who happens to be my step-brother… Aur jab main 5 saal ka hua tab unhone mujhe Nanital ke hostel me daal diya…”

She was horrified, and her heart ached for the small kid who must have yearned to be held and loved. Her voice was almost a whisper when she asked, “why? Tumhare step-father nahi maane?”

“It doesn’t matter what he thinks”, he informed, “I remember… jis din maine pehli baar unko papa bulaya tha kyunki Rohan bulata tha, he told me, main tumhara papa nahi hun… Tumhare papa tumhe chodke chale gaye hai… I didn’t understand anything… Jis din hostel me chodne gaye, uss din maine mummy ka aanchal pakad liya tha darr ke maare… Warden shayad bahot achchi thi, lekin phir bhi unke saath nahi jaana tha. Mummy ne apna aanchal chuda liya aur mujhse kaha ke Rohan ko unki zaroorat mujhse zyada hai… Aur unki life me ek aur baby aayega, toh woh teen-teen bachcho ko nahi sambhal sakti… Isiliye mujhe hostel me rehna hoga. I didn’t understand, why me… But it never mattered to her… still doesn’t matter to her…”

She gathered that Rohan was his step-brother… And another baby meant that his mother was pregnant at that time and so she left Sameer in hostel… Tears spilled from her eyes, “I am sorry…”

“Shshh Sweetheart”, he crooned, wiping her tears gently, “main yeh sab tumhari sympathy paane ke liye nahi keh raha… you know, you can still be angry on me… main sirf tumhe samjhana chahta hun that I understand how difficult it is as a child to have no parents… And also that, I know how painful loneliness is… Tumhare paas hamara baby hai Naina, shayad tum poori tarah se akeli nahi ho… Par main hun… And I will do anything for this chance at love… for this chance at life…”

She closed her eyes, trying to solidify the wall around her heart, but even then she realized that it was too late… The tale of his childhood had made solid cracks in that wall, mainly because she realized that he would truly understand her pain of not having parental love and guidance in her life. The question now in her mind wasn’t about what she wanted with her life… but rather about what her child should get in his or her life… Did she want the same pain for her child? Agreed, she would be there for her child… But what if someday he/she asks about the father? What if people taunt her child like her Taiji taunted her?

“Naina”, he held her arms, “are you alright?”

That’s when she realized that she was starting to feel bit dizzy and was swaying on the spot. She blinked her eyes, “yes… bas thoda chakkar aa raha hai…”

He gasped in shock, and swiftly picked her up in his arms… Walking over to the living room he settled her on the chair as if the whole routine was absolutely normal for him while she could only gawk at him. He seemed extremely tensed, “what do you need? Paani…? Umm… Doctor… Doctor ko call karta hun…”

“Relax Sameer”, she said, trying to stop his rant, “yeh normal hai… bas thoda paani chahiye…”

He immediately brought a glass of water from the kitchen, and handed it over to her. Naina leaned back on the chair, sipping on it, and recalled how she was used to look after herself in this one month… This wasn’t the first bout of dizziness since she had been pregnant, but every single time, she had managed to handle herself. But this… this concern felt nice… How quickly he had picked her up, as if he wouldn’t let any harm fall of her… His panic and concern for her condition was something she hadn’t ever seen in anyone in her life, except maybe PB, but even that was different… Sameer’s concern had an undertone of possessiveness in it, as if it was his right to care for her… And she couldn’t lie that it felt good. But still, she couldn’t just let him take over her life completely… She couldn’t risk again being dependent on someone to an extent that their abandonment and rejection would break her in pieces.

He asked in a concerned tone, “tum theek ho?”

She looked at him and nodded, “haan… thanks… I… I should cook dinner…”

He gulped, and then dared to ask, “for… for us…?”

She sighed, “mujhe thoda waqt chahiye Sameer… Poore ek mahine se main akele reh rahi hun… you can see… yeh ghar, nayi naukri… tum aaj achanak se aa gaye aur demand kar rahe ho ke main tumhare liye jagah banau… I can’t do it like this… Chance lene ke liye bhi thodi himmat, thoda waqt aur kaafi strong reasons chahiye…”

He didn’t back off, “lekin main door rahunga toh woh reasons tumhe milenge kaise?”

She gestured towards the room they were in, “SJM yahan reh payega?”

“Yes”, he replied without any hesitation, “tumhare liye Sameer Jaiprakash Maheshwari kahin bhi reh lega…”

She took a deep breath and declared, “fine then… iss ghar me tumhe sirf khana milega, woh bhi isiliye kyunki bachpan se maine seekha hai ke ghar aaye mehmaan ko khana khilaaye bina nahi bhejte… Iske alawa main aur kuch nahi karungi tumhare liye… Naa mere bedroom me tumhare liye jagah hai… naa mere cupboard me tumhare kapdo ke liye koi jagah… aur naa hi mere bathroom me tumhari cheezo ke liye koi jagah… main tumhare kapde naa dhoungi naa press karungi… In short sirf khana banaungi, serve bhi nahi karungi…”

He agreed instantly, “manzoor hai… lekin kyunki main yahan rahunga toh electricity use karunga… mobile charge karne ke liye, khud ke kapde press karne ke liye… paani extra use hoga… Khana aur ghar ka samaan bhi extra lagega… isiliye yeh expenses hum share karenge, 50-50… Ab yahan rahunga toh obviously ghar ka rent bhi share karunga, toh wahan bhi adha mera…”

She blinked at him, unable to form any coherent words… Did he really say all this…? She had just told him that he basically had no right in her home and could live out of his bag for all she cared… And in turn he not just agreed to her conditions but also was proposing to share the expenses just because she allowed him to stay here… Was he for real? How could he happily agree to such things? Won’t he demand anything?

Just as she thought this, he spoke up, “Naina… main bas ek cheez manguga tumse…”

She rolled her eyes slightly; thinking here came the dramatics… Now he would use his apparent love to demand things from her, ask her to give him certain privileges… She waited to hear it… Maybe it could be the demand to share the bedroom… Or maybe he would propose sex since they had already done that… After all, he can’t live without that, can he?

He simply asked, “jitna main tumhare liye tumhari life me hona chahta hun, utna hi main hamare bachche ke liye bhi hona chahta hun… I guess, ek baap ki zimmedari sirf bachcha paida honeke baad se nahi, pehle se hi shuru ho jaati hai… jaise ek maa ki hoti hai… isiliye main tumhare doctor visits me tumhare saath hona chahta hun… Hamare bachche ke liye jo bhi karna hoga woh hum dono karenge… Bas itna sa haq toh de sakti ho na?”

She sat back amazed at his demand… This is what he wanted? The right to take care of the child? So does that mean he is here only for the child? Should she ask him? But before she could decide, he clarified on his own, “yeh mat samajhna ke main sirf bachche ke liye yeh sab kar raha hun… I have told you before too… I love you… Agar baby nahi hota toh bhi main yahin hota tumhare saath… It’s just that I already missed on several days like jab tumhe first time pata chala hoga, tumhara first doctor visit… Ab aage aur kuch miss nahi karna chahta… We both should have memories to share with our child, don’t you think so?”

Once more she was rendered speechless, and so she simply nodded. He bestowed her with a wide smile that almost stole her breath… Somehow controlling her reaction, she stood up and moved to the kitchen to cook. It was already late, and she didn’t want to delay her sleeping time… As it is, it was hard to have a peaceful sleep, and after today’s events she doubted she would get a wink of sleep.

He stood at the kitchen entrance as she peeled potatoes, and asked, “do you need any help?”

She scoffed, “tumhe kuch aata bhi hai?”

He casually informed, “not much… lekin main chopping kar sakta hun… And cook simple dal-chawal ya noodles… sandwiches bhi… kabhi kabhi poha bhi banata tha par honestly itna great nahi bana kabhi… aur haan, chai-coffee dono bana leta hun…”

She threw a confused glance at him, “tumhe kab khana banane ki zaroorat padi?”

“I wasn’t always rich Naina”, he shrugged, “anyways… main fresh ho leta hun, then I can help you with chopping…” She watched him rummage in his bag for some clothes and a towel, and then he asked, “bathroom?”

She pointed to the door just beside the bedroom door… As he disappeared inside, she turned back to wash some dal, and wondered what he was talking about… His grandfather was the trustee of their school, and that means he was always rich… Even if he lived in hostel, that didn’t mean he needed to cook… And after that he would have his grandfather’s money at his disposal… So what was this thing about him not being rich always? Seriously… The man called SJM was starting to be more of an enigma for her… She wondered if he really was the same teenager she had almost bumped into in school…

He was soon back; dressed in black tracks with a simple white v-necked t-shirt, his hair slightly wet at the front, probably because of the water he had splashed on his face. Standing beside her, he queried, “what are we cooking?”

She quirked a brow, “we?”

He smiled, “okay… you… for today… aaj main sirf chopping me help karta hun… but I will learn soon…”

She passed on the potatoes for him to chop, and asked, “kyun?”

He grabbed the knife, and started cutting the potatoes in perfect cubes, “jaise tum pregnancy me progress karogi utna jaldi thak jaogi… tab main nahi chahta ke tum itna kaam karo… naturally agar hum yahan rahe toh you won’t agree to keep a maid, toh khana mujhe hi banana padega na… Aur main nahi chahta ke tum sirf noodles aur dal-chawal khao… So I will learn… simple…”

Simple?

She wanted to scream that there was nothing simple about what he was doing… He wanted to live here with her… He was ready to share expenses without getting any privileges in return… He cared for her, for her child… And he was already planning a future… How was that simple?

As she took out the flour to knead, gathering courage she asked, “agar hum yahan rahe toh… what do you mean?”

He glanced at her for a moment before focusing on the potatoes again, “ideally, I would like to marry you and then we can stay at our home… tumne toh already dekha hua hai… I hope you like it… jitna dekha utna… Jab wapas jayenge tab pura tour dunga, not just kitchen and bedroom…”

Her mouth fell open in shock, and she blasted, “what the hell is wrong with you? Tum aise kaise aake yeh sab bol sakte ho?”

He was calm as he finished chopping and kept the potatoes in a bowl full of water to prevent oxidation, “what is wrong in that? I love you and want to marry you… Mere khayal se yeh normal hai… I know tumhe waqt chahiye… But I just wanted to tell you taaki tumhare dimag me yeh perception naa rahe main sirf hamare bachche ke liye yahan hun, ya bina shaadi ke bas tumhare saath rehna chahta hun… I am ready to marry you right at this moment because I am very clear on the fact that I love you and want to spend my life with you. Aur zaahir si baat hai ke agar hum shaadi karte hai toh hum hamare ghar pe rahenge, yahan nahi… right?”

The simple reasoning would make total sense to anyone, yet she couldn’t make any sense of it because she wasn’t clear of his place in her life yet… And so she avoided answering him… Rather she turned her attention to the flour and commanded, “teen tomato bhi cut kar do…”

He did as she asked, not pestering her for answers. It would take some time, or maybe a lot of time, for her to get used to the idea of him being there for her. He wouldn’t lose hope… It was just the first day and he was already talking about marriage… That was a good progress as compared to when he had thought that she would just throw him out of her home. Shrugging off his thoughts for now, he redirected the conversation, “what are you cooking?”

“Jeera aloo, roti and dal”, she supplied, and then couldn’t help but taunt, “a meager meal of middle-class people like me.”

He grinned, “I don’t mind at all sweetheart… jeera aloo is one of my favorite dishes… and on top of that you are cooking it… that itself makes me extremely happy.”

Surprised at this, she muttered something under her breath and focused on cooking once more. For the rest of the time, he simply stood beside her, passing on if she needed some stuff. Once she was done he immediately asked, “do you sit out at the coffee table usually?”

She nodded, and he took the dal and roti outside. It was such a normal homely gesture that for a second Naina was stunned, but soon recovered enough to carry the dishes and sabji outside. As she sat down, she smacked her forehead, “oh… aaj toh katori bhi chahiye…”

She was about to get up, when she felt a hand on her shoulder, “sit… main leke aata hun… kahan rakha hai…?”

“Sink ke neeche, last cabinet”, she said. He quickly came back with two bowls and spoons; by that time Naina had already dished out the sabji in both the plates. Smiling a bit at how she forgot that she wasn’t supposed to serve him, he sat down and started to take out dal in both bowls. She kept two rotis on his plate, and took the same for herself, and that’s when it hit her that she had told him that she would only cook and not serve. Biting her lip she looked at him to check if he had noticed, but thankfully he seemed oblivious as he tore a bit of roti and ate it with some sabji. He moaned at the taste, “wow… Naina… it is so yummy…”

She blinked, and then couldn’t help but smile, “sach?”

He nodded sincerely, “bilkul… Bhavna Tai bhi bahot achcha khana banati hai, par usme Maharashtrian touch hota hai… Yeh bilkul alag hai… Bahot tasty hai…”

His sincere compliment pleased her, especially because she knew she wasn’t a pro at cooking… She had just learned some stuff from Chachiji, and while staying with Phulla Bua, but never had she done anything elaborate. He liked the dal as well, and told her so, which made her even happier because if she had been alone she wouldn’t have made dal, but since he was also eating she cooked it as she felt just sabji would be insufficient. Unknown to her own self, as she ate her meal, she started to think of dishes she can cook in upcoming days and also made a mental note of the items she would need to buy.

He watched her lost in thoughts as she finished the dinner, and gathered the dishes to wash. She took out some moong beans and soaked to cook in morning for her lunch, and then asked him, “uh… will you take tiffin to work? I usually leave by 6:30am… as you already know.”

He smirked, “no… I don’t need tiffin… don’t stress much. And I will drop you at your library tomorrow…”

She was surprised, “what? Why would you do that? I always go by…”

“I know”, he interrupted, “I already know how you travel, but I guess we need to talk for some time to come up with certain arrangements.”

She placed her hands on her hips, “what arrangements are you talking about?”

He checked the time, and sighed, “don’t you think it is already too much for today? We can talk tomorrow on our way to library… For now… Would you like some ice-cream?”

Her eyes lit up at that, but she restrained, “uh… it’s okay… I will just go sleep.”

He frowned, “you just ate… how can you sleep so soon after eating? Let’s go down… I have heard a little walk is good in pregnancy… And I feel like eating an ice-cream, so maybe you can show me some shop around.”

She thought for a moment, and then grabbed her purse, “okay… let’s go.”

He didn’t like the fact that she took purse while going with him as it was obvious that she was planning to pay for her own ice-cream, but he let it go for now… All will happen in time, he consoled himself. Naina walked beside him till the shop where she had bought ice-cream yesterday, and asked for an orange Popsicle. Sameer also took the same and then offered 20 rupees note, before Naina could bring out money, and when she asked he said he didn’t have change. Accepting the remaining money from shopkeeper, he queried, “ghar chale?”

It felt odd to listen to Sameer calling her place as home, but she shook her head to discard the thought for now. Glancing down the road, she thought how she wanted to walk more yesterday but didn’t feel safe to do that as she was alone, but today Sameer was there with her, and so she said, “umm… thoda aur aage tak chal sakte hai…? If you don’t mind…”

He smiled, “why would I mind…? Chalo…”

They walked slowly, slurping their ice-creams… Sameer felt content as he recalled how he was hiding yesterday from her, but now she was walking next to him, relishing her ice-cream in the same way. He finished his first, and then kept watching her, while also keeping a watch so that she didn’t stumble anywhere. There was a small park at the corner of the road, just before the left turn, and he noticed her watching it wistfully for some moments before she asked to turn back. He glanced back at the park once, observing the locked gate, and wondered if she wanted to sit inside and was sad that it was locked, or there was some other reason. She took the key out of her purse and unlocked her apartment door… As she kept her purse aside, she held out five rupees for him, “for my ice-cream…”

He knew she would do this, and so he was prepared, “why don’t you start keeping a book? I mean… agar baar-baar aise paise divide karte rahe toh it would be confusing… So it is better if you keep a monthly track of all the expenses, and then we can divide it at the end of month… What say?”

She thought about it for a minute, and then suggested, “let’s start with a week… I don’t feel comfortable with someone else paying for me.”

It pinched his heart, but he agreed, “alright… if that’s what you want. Now go sleep… Good Night…”

She looked at her living room, swallowing repeatedly, “wait… I… main chaddar leke aati hun…” He controlled his smile as he watched her go to the bedroom and get two thin sheets for him, and she almost looked apologetic as she said, “I don’t have extra pillow.”

He shrugged, “can I use the cushion from the chair?”

She glanced at the old cushion, and sighed in relief, “of course.”

Naina washed her face and then went to her bedroom, looking in confusion at Sameer once who was sitting on the chair, with the phone attached to his ear, a look of utter concentration on his face. “Main kal tumse milta hun”, she heard him say before she closed the bedroom door.

She didn’t think anything about who he was talking to, but as she lay down on the mattress her thoughts kept bouncing from one event to another that had taken place in her life since last evening. Had it really been just yesterday that she had stumbled upon him in the clinic? What would have happened if she hadn’t gone back to take her file? Well… if what Sameer said this morning was truth, then it really wouldn’t have made any difference. He had said he would have been here no matter what… It was so unbelievable that he was ready to stay here with her, in this apartment which was so small as compared to the villa he lived in. Why was he doing all this? Was this really because he loved her? But how could he? Wasn’t he the same man who slept with her on the same day as he proposed another woman for marriage? If he loved that woman and still could sleep with her, then how can he love her just because of that one night? Nothing made sense to her… After a few minutes of further debate she decided that his actions were just a temporary thing, and he would definitely leave in a day or two when he would be fed up of living in these meager conditions and her non-reciprocation of his physical advances.

As she closed her eyes, she recalled what he had said earlier – jeera aloo is one of my favorite dishes – and she smiled, placing a hand on her tummy, she said, “hi baby… ab pata chala main aloo kyun khane lagi… tumko bhi tumhare papa jaise aloo pasand hai…” Giggling slightly at the absurd happening in her life, she drifted off to sleep, blissfully unaware that she had just started introducing the father to her child.

Her eyes snapped open at the unusual hour of 4:30am, full thirty minutes before her alarm, but unlike other nights the reason wasn’t a nightmare but a rather delicious dream… She sat up slowly, rubbing her palms on her face, her body still shivering from the aftermath of her dream… It had felt so real… Even now when she closed her eyes, she saw the dream playing in-front of her eyes like a movie…

“I love you so much”, she smiled into the mirror, caressing her belly.

A pair of strong arms looped around her waist, cradling the small bump; soft warms lips dropped a kiss on her plump cheek; and a deep voice rumbled in her ear, “I love you too sweetheart…”

She pouted, “I was talking to my baby…”

Her husband’s eyes twinkled as he held her gaze in the mirror, “saara pyaar baby ke liye… papa ke liye kuch nahi?”

She scrunched her nose, pretending to be angry, “papa gande hai… baby ki baat nahi sunte…”

He kissed her ear, and turned her away from the mirror, pointing to the small table on the side… A bowl full of round, swirling, orange stuff was kept in the center of the table… She clapped her hands in glee, and squealed, “jalebiiii….”

He covered his ears, “damn woman… mere kaan ke parde fatt jayenge…”

She laughed, swiftly hugging him tight, “I love you… I love you… I love you so much Sameer…”

He hummed, wrapping his arms around her, dipping his head to bury his nose in her hair, “that’s all I need sweetheart… tumhara pyaar aur hamara yeh chota sa parivaar…”

As he gently rocked side to side with her in his arms, contentment spread in her veins, the feeling of being loved and cherished was something she had never ever experienced before.

A shuddering long exhale left her mouth as she opened her eyes again, trying to get a grip over herself. She couldn’t lose her focus like this… Whatever he was doing here was just a temporary phase. She just needed to keep herself sane, and everything would end soon. She would have her solitary world back and SJM would be far from that world. Folding the sheet she had used to cover herself, she stood up and walked out of the bedroom… The sight there made her pause for a moment… Sameer Maheshwari was sleeping on the floor of her living room; a thin bedsheet separated his body from the hard tiles, but didn’t lend any comforting softness… The old cushion from her chair was the pillow beneath his head… The second sheet she had given him was lying crumpled on the side. She gulped at the sight… An ache settled somewhere in the vicinity of her heart to see him like that… It must be so uncomfortable… Were the creases on his forehead a result of the hard unforgiving floor? Even as she watched he turned on the side, and winced a little, probably because his bones ached… Tears pooled in her eyes, spilling down her cheeks and bile rose in her throat… She quickly opened the bathroom door and rushed inside to relieve herself…

As she bent over the sink, retching hard, she felt a hand pat gently on her back… She squeezed her eyes shut to stop the tears, but it didn’t happen… The morning sickness robbed her strength and she shivered as she washed her mouth and face… Taking a deep breath she straightened, and he grabbed the towel from the rack, offering it to her. He was still rubbing her back, and it felt so comforting that she was almost tempted to lean onto him… She clenched her hands on the towel to control herself.

His voice was gentle as he asked, “tum theek ho?”

She nodded, “let me brush…”

He walked out again… Naina took some time to finish her morning ritual, and then decided to bath. But as she went to get her clothes, she stood surprised at the sight before her once more… Something was simmering on the gas in the kitchen, the balcony door was open to let the morning air in and Sameer was in the bedroom keeping the folded sheets he had used on the shelf she kept her clothes on. As he saw her he smiled, “good morning… yeh biscuits yahan kyun hai?”

She looked at the saltine packet beside the mattress, and informed in a trance, “Anmol ki behen ne bataya tha ke subah uthke sabse pehle thoda namkeen biscuit kha le toh morning sickness kam hoti hai… Main 1-2 biscuits rakhti hun roz, par aaj khau usse pehle hi ulti aa gai…”

He looked puzzled, “sach me help karta hai…?”

She shrugged, “pata nahi… mujhe yeh subah ulti hona kal se hi shuru hua hai… usse pehle bas dudh ki smell se hoti thi…”

“Oh my God”, he exclaimed, “maine gas pe dudh rakha hai… tum kitchen me mat aana… main dekh lunga…”

Sameer Maheshwari was boiling milk in her kitchen…

The absurdity of that statement was her reality, she realized, as she watched him rush out… Shaking her head she grabbed her clothes and bath-towel… Before she could shut the bathroom door, Sameer hollered from the kitchen, “Naina, tum chai piyogi?”

She felt as if she was still in a dream as she replied, “thoda sa…”

As she took her bath she tried very hard to keep her mind blank, just not think about anything… And she succeeded to an extent… But as soon as she stepped into the kitchen to do puja, a smell hit her nostrils, and she breathed in deep.

“Yeh kiski khushboo hai?” She queried.

He turned to her in surprise, “tum theek ho? Kuch pareshaani toh nahi ho rahi smell se?”

She shook her head, “nahi… achchi smell hai… kya hai?”

He flashed a small smile, “chai…”

She was shocked, “what? Impossible…”

He chuckled, “khud dekh lo…”

She moved beside him to peer into the vessel, and indeed a dark orange-ish concoction was bubbling away… She could smell the tea-leaves, some spices and ginger… but no traces of the smell of milk that usually made her puke… Her mouth watered at the smell, and she demanded, “mujhe peena hai…”

He grinned, “yes madam… paanch minute do… breakfast ready ho jayega…”

Her eyes widened, “breakfast?”

“Sandwich”, he showed her the sliced tomatoes and cucumbers, “bas bread toast karna baaki hai…”

Her tummy rumbled at the sight of sliced tomatoes, and she muttered, “main puja kar leti hun pehle…”

He set the tawa on the gas in low flame, and put four slices to roast without butter as he wasn’t sure if she would like it or not. While the tea bubbled, bread roasted and she did her puja, he escaped to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He dashed back to the kitchen to see she had already turned the bread, and was checking the pack of butter to see if she had enough. He checked the tea, and then turned off the flame, grabbing the cups from the side shelf, “aaj samaan ka list bana lena… shaam ko le lenge.”

She frowned, “main khud kharid sakti hun…”

“We agreed to share expenses Naina”, he reminded, “aur aisi condition me heavy bags bilkul nahi uthaogi tum…”

The last sentence made sense to her, though she was tempted to remind him that he wasn’t there for the first month when she did all the work by herself. As he poured the tea and started to put together the sandwiches, he said in a regretful tone, “waise bhi ab tak toh main tha nahi… Mujhe toh sochkar hi darr lag raha hai ke tumne akele kaise yeh sab kiya… I mean… yeh furniture, kitchen ka samaan… gas cylinder… akele sab kuch… I am so sorry Naina…”

She set the moong to boil and replied, “I didn’t know about my pregnancy until a little over two weeks after that night… Uske baad se maine hamesha dhyan rakha ke kuch heavy na uthau… Furniture vagera laane me Anmol ne aur mere landlord ne help ki… Gas ka cylinder bhi landlady ne diya hai… agle mahine se gas company wale aayenge dene…”

“Thank God”, he mumbled, passing the dish of sandwiches to her, “tum yeh le jao, main chai lekar aata hun.”

She had no idea why instead of hurting him she was pacifying him, relieving his guilt and worry… Wouldn’t he disappear sooner if she kept hurting him? Ever since he had popped up in her life on that fateful night of 16^th October, nothing was going as planned… She sighed, sipped her tea and instantly moaned, unable to control her reaction… As soon as she realized what she did, she looked at him, only to find him staring at her with a smirk… One slender eye-brow lifted, “I guess chai achchi lagi…”

She hesitated a little, but then nodded truthfully, “alag hai… dudh ki smell nahi aa rahi…”

He smiled, “Nanu aise banate the chai… Unhone bataya tha ke Nani ji ko dudh ki smell pasand nahi thi… Gujarat me usually paani me chai ubaalke, phir dudh daalte hai, isiliye kachchi smell reh jaati hai… Nani dudh-paani milaake ubaalti thi, phir chai daalti thi, phir adrak aur masale… Isse dudh ki smell bilkul nahi rehti… Nani ke jaane ke baad bhi Nanu aise hi chai banaya karte the, aur unhone hi mujhe sikhaya…”

The information made something clench inside her heart, and she immediately questioned in anger, “iska matlab tumne jhooth bola mujhse kal? Woh sab kahaani hostel me akele rehne ke baare me…”

He rolled his eyes, “dimag bhi kam ho jaata hai kya morning sickness me?”

She frowned in confusion, “huh?”

He sighed, “did you forget Naina? Main do saal Ahmedabad me tha… hum same school me padhte the… aur uss school ke trustee mere Nanu the… Toh agar main Ahmedabad me rehta tha, toh woh do saal toh hostel me nahi rahunga na?”

Her cheeks reddened in mortification as she realized how she jumped to conclusion without any rational thought. She finished the sandwich and tea in silence, somehow grateful of the proper breakfast she had after many days. Usually while cooking she would just make one extra roti that she would roll up with some sabji or sugar and that would be her breakfast… “Main khana bana leti hun”, she mumbled and escaped.

Her mind kept revising the extremely unusual time she was experiencing, and as a result she could barely concentrate on cooking. Meanwhile Sameer took a bath and then dressed up, careful to not encroach on her space just like she had asked. He kept his used clothes in a separate polybag, and then sat down to polish his shoes. She came out of the bedroom with her purse, and stopped seeing him sitting on the chair, dressed in a charcoal grey suit with white shirt, and rubbing polish on his shoes with a frown on his face.

On seeing her he grinned, “kaafi dino baad khud ke joote polish kar raha hun… I am out of practice.” She closed her eyes for a moment, regret spearing her heart at the way he was accepting her mistreatment with a smile. It was so clear from his mannerisms, from his clothes, from the things she had read about him, that he was extremely rich… But here he was living out of a bag just because she had asked him to… Why couldn’t he just give up? His voice broke into her thoughts, “do minute bas… lace baandhke haath dho leta hun phir chalte hai…”

Her eyes snapped open, “kahaan chalte hai?”

He stood up and shook his legs to adjust his trousers, “tumhare library, aur kahaan…”

She gaped at him as he walked to the bathroom to wash his hands, and said in an irritated tone, “ghar ke andar joote pehenke mat chalo…”

He wiped his wet hands with a sheepish expression, “I am sorry… kal se dhyan rakhunga…”

She didn’t acknowledge his apology, rather informed, “main khud se library jaa sakti hun…”

“I know”, he replied, “par ab sab kaam khud se sab karneki zaroorat nahi hai… I am here… Main tumhe drop karunga aur pick bhi karunga shaam ko… let’s go…”

Ignoring the pathetic lurching heartbeats, she took her tiffin, locked the door and followed him to the lift. As they reached the parking lot, she found her voice and said, “tumhe yeh sab karne ki zaroorat nahi hai… main aisi koi aadat nahi rakhna chahti jo tumhare jaaneke baad mujhe taklif de… So please, yeh chai banana, breakfast banana, yeh drop aur pick-up karna, mera khayal rakhne ka natak bandh karo…”

He was silent as he opened the door for her to sit, and then moved to the driver’s seat… Only when he started the car did he say, “agar tumhe yeh sab natak lag raha hai toh natak hi sahi… bas itna yaad rakhna yeh natak zindagi bhar chalega…”

She snorted, “meri pregnancy 9 months ki hai… ab 8 months baaki hai… zindagi bhar ki nahi…”

“Oh sweetheart”, he crooned, “do you think ke tum pregnant nahi hogi tab bhi main tumhe train aur bus me library jaane dunga? Never… Meri wife ka dhyan main hamesha rakhunga… Tum chahogi toh main roz chai banaunga tumhare liye aur breakfast bhi… Bas variety nahi milegi…”

She queried, “wife?”

He glanced at her once and then again shifted his attention to the road, “I already proposed you Naina… I want a life with you… My whole life… Oh, and one more child after this one…”

Her eyes widened comically and she clapped a hand over her mouth lest she blurt something inappropriate. He chuckled at her reaction, “oh I love you so much…”

“Stop staying that”, she ordered.

He smirked, “try to stop me…”

She gave up the argument for now… He was like a bull… Just thundering towards his goal, not even stopping for a moment or letting her catch her breath… How could he say things like that? Marriage… One more child… Her heart yearned for exactly those things that he seemed to be offering to her on a silver platter… But she didn’t have the courage to trust him and accept that she could have happiness in her life… How could she? Every single time she thought she was blessed with happiness it was brutally snatched from her…

His phone vibrated on the dash, and he stopped the car on the side, picked it up and informed, “Aman… I am driving… Will reach there in an hour… Priya ka dhyan rakhna…”

Priya… The name registered in her mind but she didn’t ask anything. But she couldn’t stop thinking… And so after a couple of minutes she queried, “Aman tumhara dost hai?”

He navigated through a busy turn, “nahi… mera PA hai…”

Weren’t businessmen supposed to have female PA? Or was it female secretary? Maybe that was it… Maybe he has a male PA and female secretary… The quirks of rich people can be many… And this Priya… God knows who she is… And neither did she care enough to know and ask; that’s what she told herself… She reaffirmed in her mind that Sameer was never a one-woman man… So she should not be surprised by hearing different feminine names… It hurt her to think like that, but she saw it as a protective shield to her heart… She couldn’t let him penetrate that shield, that was the only way to save herself.

Sameer wasn’t a fool to be unaware… He had noticed how she asked about Aman but not about Priya… The question was what was she assuming? He had said it very clearly that he loved her, he had explained his situation to her, but still it was difficult to erase the impression she must have formed over a month… He would have volunteered information about Priya, but he didn’t… It was tempting to clarify his every stand to her so that she quickly changes her opinion of him, but if he did that then he would always have to clarify himself. That would be a drawback in their relationship… She had formed the vast gap of mistrust between them after hearing his drunken words, and it has to be her who slowly removes each step keeping them apart, not just by listening to his words or clarifications, but by seeing his actions…

Naina reached the library sooner than other days as today she hadn’t relied on public transport, but a new wave of fear hit her on seeing the now familiar building… Quickly grabbing her purse and tiffin, she opened the car door, “thanks… tum jao ab…”

He was puzzled, “main andar tak…”

“Nahi”, she interrupted quickly, but on seeing his suspicious expressions she tried to add, “I mean… thode stairs hi toh hai… tum tension mat lo… main apna dhyan rakhungi… aur shaam ko… uh… 6:30pm ko wahan uss kone wali dukaan pe milungi.”

He queried, “yahan kyun nahi?”

She nervously replied, “aree… main… uh… main shaam ko wahan juice lene jaati hun na… toh isiliye… udhar milenge…”

He stared at her for a moment, “theek hai… see you in evening…”

She exhaled in relief and climbed up the stairs to the main entrance. Thankfully he had believed her lie… She didn’t want anyone of her colleagues to meet him… at least not yet… She wasn’t prepared to divulge that part of her life to others… Especially now that she knew that as soon as Sameer would introduce himself as SJM, people would know who he is, what he is… She was just a normal person who was starting to make a life for herself; the introduction of SJM in her peaceful workplace could wreck damage. No… She had to keep Sameer away. She was a single mother, and would remain so… He might have confused her into permitting him to stay with her, but she won’t allow him to create turbulence in her career.

On the other end, Sameer was driving to Ashray, his mind occupied with how Naina had panicked as soon as they had reached the library. It was clear that she didn’t want her colleagues to know about him… Why so though? She had already let him stay with her, drop her till library, even pick her up… then why was she reluctant to let him meet her colleagues? Her colleagues obviously knew about her pregnancy, as her case file stated that someone called Anmol and Poonam accompanied her to hospital on rotation. So then why was it that she didn’t want them to know about him? Had she lied to them about the reason of pregnancy? No… Naina wouldn’t do that… After deliberating over it for few more minutes, he came to the conclusion that maybe it was too soon for her to suddenly introduce him, or maybe she felt apprehensive of their reaction on knowing him… Whatever the reason, he couldn’t let Naina avoid him… He had to let others know that he was in her life, even if that meant forcing his hand a bit… It might infuriate Naina, but naturally he couldn’t let them go on thinking that she had no one in her life. Plus, they would get to know soon as he was determined to accompany Naina every day to the library, pick her up as well, and also go with her for her check-up. He had to contemplate the best way and time to push into her work life as well…

His entire day was hectic as he resolved the matter at Ashray, then attended his office, and in between he also dedicated time to read up on pregnancy; especially the problems women face in the first trimester and also about nutritious meals. He noted that women should be drinking milk at this time… Given the quantity of milk Naina purchased he was sure it wasn’t just for tea, so that meant she somehow managed to drink milk. But didn’t she say that she hated the smell of milk? Then how did she manage to drink it? He would ask her this evening… Since he had committed her about breakfast, he started searching for some simple easy-to-cook ideas which was really tough to find… So during lunch time, he went out to a nearby bookshop and asked the person for a cookbook that can help bachelors. It took him around twenty minutes to choose one which he felt had easy-to-follow instructions and also nutritious recipes.

Later in the day, he worked through until 5pm and then decided to leave… As he was packing his bag, Aman came in with some files, and stood shocked at the sight in-front of him. Sameer saw his assistant at the door, and frowned, “why are you standing there?”

Aman blinked, thinking that he must have forgotten about some meeting, “are you going somewhere?”

“Home”, Sameer smiled.

The files fell from his hands, “what? Are you alright?”

Sameer chuckled, “hmm… come inside first…”

Aman bent to pick up the files, surprised that he was not scolded for his clumsy behavior, and then stepped inside the cabin, closing the door behind him. Sameer thought for a moment, and then sighed, “main ab se roz isi time pe nikal jaunga…” Aman stood puzzled at this declaration, unsure if he could ask the reason.

Sameer took another deep breath, “Aman… it’s been a year now since you work with me… tumhe mere bahot official secrets pata hai aur tumne hamesha apni loyalty prove ki hai… isiliye aaj ek personal baat batana chahta hun… I hope tum iss baat ko bhi usi importance se treat karoge jitna mere official baato ko karte ho…”

“Of course sir”, Aman assured immediately.

Sameer checked his watch, “come along with me… I am going to J.N Petit library… beech me tumhe tumhare ghar ke paas chod dunga…”

Aman nodded, “sure… lekin yeh files…”

“Le chalo”, Sameer instructed, “main ghar pe check kar lunga.”

Ten minutes later, Aman was sitting in his boss’s car, and they exited the premises of SJM Enterprise. Sameer started talking as soon as they were on the road, “I am telling you this for two reasons Aman… First, I trust you… And second, mujhe aane wale kuch time me tumhari zyada zaroorat hogi, to cover on behalf of me. Maine already tumko business pe train karna shuru kar diya hai, it is time that you start taking responsibilities as well… I want ke ek aur saal me main tumko promote kar paau as my manager.”

Aman replied, “sir please… you know ke aapko mujhe promotion ka assurance deneki zaroorat nahi hai… I respect you a lot, and I trust your decisions as well… Aap mujhe kuch bhi karneko bolenge main aankh bandh karke kar dunga.”

Sameer smiled, “thanks Aman… remember kuch din pehle tumne mujhe Kashish Mehra ke baare me bataya tha aur kaha tha she isn’t my type…?” Aman nodded, and he further asked, “what do you think is my type?”

The question baffled Aman, but still he tried to be as honest as he could, “I am not really sure about your type sir… lekin peechle ek saal me itna toh samajh gaya hun ke aapke baare me chahe jo rumours ho there is no risk to any girl from you… Ek-do baar mujhe laga ke aap shayad kisi relationship me hai, lekin I am not sure, kyunki maine kabhi aapko kaam ke alawa kisi aur cheez ko importance dete hue nahi dekha…”

“I was in a relationship”, Sameer informed, “it turned out to be devastating… sach kahu toh thoda embarrassing hai ke meri girlfriend mujhe cheat kar rahi thi and being SJM I didn’t know…”

Aman was shocked, “what? How dare she…! Sir… tell me her name… I will make sure…”

“It doesn’t matter now”, Sameer interrupted, “trust me… even I would have wanted to destroy her, but right now I don’t want to focus my energy on her… the disastrous break-up with her led me to the most beautiful phase of my life…”

Aman queried, “matlab…?”

“Jis din mujhe Sakshi ke cheating ke baare me pata chala and she broke up with me, I met someone else”, Sameer divulged, “this happened a month ago… I was drunk and she saved me from falling…” He took a moment to fondly recollect the club meeting and smiled, “Naina… mere saath school me padhti thi pehle… iske aage main jo bataunga uske baare me please don’t judge…”

Aman nodded, “I won’t…”

Sameer continued, “we met at club Vortex… Jo do saal main Ahmedabad me raha, Naina tab mere saath padhti thi… We never had much interaction in school… Lekin uss raat… She… She just made a mark on me Aman… Usne mujhe club me sambhala, mujhe ghar drop kiya… Do you know she is the first girl who stepped into my home? I couldn’t stop myself from wanting her… lekin agle din subah she just… she disappeared…”

Aman understood the unspoken… Even though it felt a bit odd to listen that his boss had slept with someone the same night as he had broken up with another, he didn’t want to comment on it. That girl, Sakshi, had cheated on him… And then this other girl, Naina, seemed to have handled him and cared for him… He waited for Sameer to continue so that he could understand more.

Sameer waited for some nasty comment, but on getting complete silence, he started to speak again, “I knew Naina was special even before… um… you know… as soon as I heard her laughter, as soon as I kissed her I knew she was different… And trust me… I know this difference… My past hasn’t exactly been something I am proud of, and in my drunken state I blurted about one night stands to her… Agle din subah jab main utha, I was so furious that she left… Aur sirf ek letter chodke gai mere liye… I felt as if one more girl treated me like dirt… Lekin thoda sochne ke baad I realized that it wasn’t her fault… Maine jo kuch bhi bola usse usko aisa feel hua hoga that she is also a one night stand for me… Saari stupid cheeze bol di lekin yeh nahi bol paaya that she is different, she is special… And she left me… Peechle ek mahine se usko poore Mumbai me dhund raha tha…”

Aman gaped at him, and then asked, “uh… you need help?”

Sameer smiled a bit, “nahi… I found her… day before yesterday… at the same clinic where we found Priya…”

There was a significant pause before Aman gasped, “oh my God… you mean… Naina…”

“Bhabhi”, Sameer interrupted, “call her bhabhi…”

Aman shrieked, “you got married…!!??”

Sameer flinched at the loud voice, “no you idiot… but I will… as soon as Naina agrees… And yes… she is pregnant…”

Aman stared at his boss, unable to digest what he heard… Sameer rolled his eyes, “what? You think I can’t get a woman pregnant?”

“Ah… No”, Aman stammered, “I didn’t mean that… I just… matlab… it is too much…”

Sameer replied in a dry tone, “oh trust me, I know… parso se mujhe aise lag raha hai main kisi alag hi duniya me reh raha hun…”

Aman nodded, “shaadi kab hai?”

“I don’t know”, Sameer sighed, “she doesn’t trust me… usko lagta hai ke main shaadi ka proposal de raha hun just because she is pregnant… she thinks I can’t be committed to her… she thinks I won’t care for the child truly, but rather just treat him / her as a responsibility… she thinks I don’t feel anything for her… Jab main usko “I love you” bolta hun there is no expression on her face… Aisa lagta hai ke woh sochti hai ke maine yeh line kitni ladkiyo ko boli hogi, that I don’t understand the seriousness of it… Sach toh yeh hai ke Sakshi ke saath ek saal ki relationship me maine kabhi use I love you nahi bola… Jis din Naina se mila, uss din I wanted to propose Sakshi, lekin tab bhi I love you nahi bol paaya tha… Lekin Naina ko hazaar baar bol sakta hun kyunki yahi sach hai…”

Aman heard the sincerity in his tone, and somehow immediately trusted him, “what do you want me to do…?”

Sameer couldn’t help the small smile that curved his lips… After Naina’s hurtful words since yesterday, Aman’s unwavering trust felt good. He, for the first time in his life, asked for help, “just be there when I need you… Naina ko manana easy nahi hai… Mujhe use time dena hoga… Aur yeh pregnancy me uska dhyan rakhna hoga kyunki woh akeli rehti hai… I haven’t been able to convince her to move in with me, or marry me… Ek din hi hua hai, main himmat nahi haar sakta… but I need you to cover for me when I am away… Aur kuch mahine baad main zyadatar time ghar pe rahunga taaki Naina ke saath reh saku… Abhi woh J.N Petit me kaam karti hai, but I guess when third trimester starts she will have to stop working… Tab main bhi regularly office nahi aana chahta… I just hope tab tak she agrees to stay at my place, taaki mere absence me kamsekam Bhavna Tai uska dhyan rakh paaye…”

Aman understood what he needed to do, “don’t worry sir… Main zyada responsibilities leneko taiyaar hun… Aur aapke work from home ka saara intezaam bhi kar dunga… Lekin sir, agar Naina… uh… mera matlab… bhabhi aapke saath nahi rehti toh abhi aap…”

Sameer chuckled, “main uske saath rehta hun… uske apartment me…”

“She doesn’t have family?” Aman asked.

Sameer immediately recalled that he would have to discuss this with dadi-bua as well… For now he said, “that is a long story… and for another time… abhi bas itna yaad rakho that I love Naina truly, and from now I will need time to focus on my personal life as well…”

“I understand sir”, Aman smiled, “aapko kuch bhi zaroorat ho, just let me know…”

As Sameer dropped Aman nearby his home, and drove to the library he wondered if he had done the right thing by confiding in Aman… If he was honest, he had no idea why he divulged the entire thing. Earlier he had just meant to tell him that he was in love with Naina who was pregnant with his child, and he intended to marry her as soon as possible. After all, he couldn’t just leave office at 5pm every day or work from home without any reason… Plus he genuinely needed Aman to share some of his basic responsibilities… But then… when he had repeated the planned words in his mind he had realized how that sounded almost crass, especially given the mindset in the society, his statement could make anyone think bad of Naina… He had no idea what Aman would assume, but even if for one second someone thought bad about Naina’s character just because she slept with him before marriage and got pregnant, he wouldn’t be able to bear… Which is why instead of just telling him the crux of the matter he had divulged the entire incident, adding snippets about his past as well, so that if there is any responsibility of having done wrong, it would sit with him only.

It was emotionally draining for him… Ever since he had found Naina in that clinic, he had had to think and rethink everything he did… When Naina had ousted him from her home yesterday morning, saying all those harsh words, declaring that she didn’t trust him, questioning if he even knew the meaning of love, he had been extremely disheartened… Somewhere in his mind before he found her, he had had an imaginary scenario where he would apologize to Naina, tell that he never meant those words, confess his love and she would forgive him, understand him, and then would tell him that she loved him too… He had his mind set to date her, woo her, shower her with love… The pregnancy, even though joyful, had added a layer of complication… And on top of that Naina had one month to form ideas about his character, and firm the mistrust in her mind to such an extent that she felt if she gave in to him it would be bad for her in future… Add to that there was her family, he was sure that there was something very serious in her past, especially related to her broken engagement that had made her so wary of relationships, and because of that she was not ready to look beyond his drunken words and trust him.

It would take time, he understood, but it was hard to keep up his smile and spirit in the face of taunts and mistreatment… He had such a hard time sleeping on the hard floor last night, and for almost an hour he had waited, hoping that Naina would come back and ask him in… But she hadn’t… And he hadn’t had the heart and courage to go inside even to check on her after she had made it clear that he had no space in her bedroom… Only in the morning when he had seen her red eyes in the bathroom he had started to wonder the reason… Was she crying because she puked? But she had clearly said it was normal… After a bit of thought he had wondered if the reason was that she had seen him sleeping on floor… She had feelings for him, he knew… And if she loved him even a bit, it would be hard for her to see him accept the way she was behaving with him… When he had seen her dumbfounded expressions as he had worked around the home in morning, he had understood that his guess was right… She mistreated him with the hope that he would leave, she was doing all this thinking that would protect her heart, but that had given him the idea that if he bore everything she dished out with patience and love then she would be able to see that his feelings were genuine and that he wouldn’t leave her… Naina herself was showing him the way to win her; all he had to do was keep walking on that path without faltering and losing hope…

Sharp at 6:30pm he made the turn around the busy circle to reach her library, and to his utter amusement she was standing at the corner of the road already… He spotted a lone figure standing near the library steps, near the pillar, hidden in a way that Naina couldn’t see… He slowed down… It was a male… Anmol? Whoever the guy was, he was keeping a watch on Naina… Sameer crossed the library building, and stopped in-front of her… Leaning forward, he opened the door for her, and she quickly sat inside… He turned back once to see if the figure was still there… Yep… Sameer started driving again, with a small smile on his face, knowing that one of her colleagues had now seen Naina getting inside the car, and would start questioning her tomorrow hopefully… Good… His work will be easier…

“Hi”, he greeted.

She seemed bit nervous, “hello…”

He playfully asked, “juice wala dikha nahi wahan… konsi dukaan thi?”

She hiccupped, “uh… aaj woh nahi aaya tha…”

“Matlab wahan koi juice ki dukaan nahi hai”, he repeated, “thela lagta hai?”

She snapped, “thela lagta ho ya sir pe leke bechne aata ho… Tumhe kya hai? Don’t act as if tum zindagi bhar mujhe pick karne wale ho…”

He chuckled, “I am at your service madam… for my whole life…” On seeing her furious glare, he changed the topic, “list bana liya tumne? Samaan kharidna hai na…”

She kept mumbling under her breath, probably cursing him as she opened her purse and took out a sheet of paper. He took it from her, opening it with one hand, and kept it on the steering wheel to read. “Beech me ek department store aayega”, he informed, “wahan ruk jayenge. Isme thodi cheeze aur add karni hogi…”

Around thirty minutes later, he stopped at a complex which housed several shops. Naina wondered as to why shop from here when they could simply get the stuff from some grocery shops near her home… He walked beside her up the short flight of stairs, continuously watching that she was safe… His gesture caused a funny warmth inside her… Stopping at one of the shops, he opened the paper and started noting quantities beside the items she had written, and added few more items at the end which she couldn’t read… He handed it over to the shopkeeper, “yeh ready rakhna… hum thodi der baad aate hai…”

The man took the paper, “jee sahab…”

“Chalo”, he gestured Naina to move without touching her even though he was yearning to hold her hand and guide her.

She walked a little away from him, “kahaan jaa rahe hai?”

“I didn’t get time to have proper lunch”, he shrugged, “yahan ek achcha restaurant hai… Mumbai ke special snacks… chaat vagera… toh socha thoda kuch kha leta hun…”

Her mouth watered on hearting chaat, and he noticed how her eyes lit up… Mentally patting himself on his back, he entered the restaurant and guided her to a table at the far end. The waiter immediately gave the menus… Sameer ordered a dish of vadapav and tea, while Naina asked for a dish of dahi-puri…

While waiting for food, he asked, “tum dudh peeti ho? Pregnancy me zaroori hai na?”

She promptly asked, “how do you know?”

He sighed, “zaroori nahi hai ke mera prior experience ho Naina… Honestly, mera character itna gaya-guzra nahi hai…” She didn’t say anything, but her face flushed on hearing his statement as she knew that he understood the hidden meaning behind her question. He let it go once more, “anyways… maine aaj thoda time spend kiya to read about pregnancy… saare stages aur kya-kya precautions lene hote hai… Meals ke baare me bhi padha, usi se pata chala ke dudh zaroori hota hai… lekin tumne bataya tha ke tumhe dudh ke smell se ulti hoti hai…”

She nodded, “haan lekin shaam ko thoda sa dudh pee leti hun… I hate it… but still… manage kar leti hun…”

He handed his mobile to her, “call Dr. Suchitra… Aur pucho ke tum dudh me kuch milaake pee sakti ho kya… Jaise ki Horlicks ya chocolate…”

She was surprised, “par kyun? Waise bhi Horlicks bahot mehenga hai…”

“We are sharing Naina”, he reminded, “tumhare expenses ka load kam ho gaya hai ab toh surely ek bottle Horlicks toh afford kar hi sakte hai hum… I understand tum akele thi tab tumne kaafi adjustments kiye, lekin ab main hun toh uska thoda benefit toh hona chahiye na…” She opened her mouth to say something, but he stopped her, “ab isse pehle ke tum firse taana maaro ke main hamesha nahi rahunga, let me remind you, I already committed my whole life to you… Tum ho jisne mujhe accept nahi kiya, so don’t taunt me ke main saath nahi rahunga… Now call her, warna main karta hun…”

She cursed him mentally as she took the mobile and dialed. Dr. Suchitra happily gave permission to mix Horlicks or kesar or chocolate in her milk… Disconnecting the call she grumbled, “she said yes…”

He smiled, “good… waise maine already Horlicks order kar diya tha, but still… ek baar confirm kar lena better hai, isiliye call karwaya.”

She blinked in surprise at this new found information… He had already ordered Horlicks for her… His sincere care and consideration for her was weakening her every moment. Soon the waiter came with their order and Sameer devoted to eating… Naina also ate, trying to conceal her happiness but failing miserably as her eyes gave away her true feelings. He didn’t probe afraid to put her on guard again, rather just said, “iske baad sabji mandi me rukenge thodi der… aloo ke alawa thode aur vegetables khane chahiye tumhe… Aur fruits bhi le lenge thode…”

She licked her lip to clean the remnant yoghurt after munching on a particular large puri, “main hamesha ghar ke paas wale market se le leti hun…”

He tried to control his reaction on seeing her obliviously licking her lips… Here he was dying to kiss her, and she was blissfully unaware of the havoc she was causing. Somehow managing to contain his desire, he croaked, “fine… aaj dekh lete hai tum jahan se kharidti ho wahan… phir agar aisa lage kuch aur chahiye toh kal dusre market me dekh lenge. Waise bhi fridge nahi hai toh I guess tum roz kharidti ho…”

She finished the last puri, “roz nahi… ek din chodke…”

He sipped the tea, “okay… kuch aur khaogi?”

She looked at the menu on the side wistfully, but then refused, “nahi… I am done…”

“Okay”, he replied, “thodi der betho… main bathroom jaake aata hun.”

Ten minutes later he returned, and she stood up from the table, “bill?”

“De diya”, he informed. She noticed a packet in his hand, but didn’t ask what it was… It was a personal question that she should avoid, wasn’t it? Instead she asked, “mujhe amount batao taaki main note kar saku expenses me…”

He walked with her to the previous store, “end me saara saath me batata hun ghar jaake.”

She didn’t argue with him, rather just kept watching in mild surprise as he checked the items at the shop, paid the money and then grabbed the two heavy bags… When she reached out to help, he glared at her making her withdraw her hand. She docilely followed him to the car. Keeping the bags on the back seat, they sat in the car and he drove towards her home again. The stop at the vegetable market was fun for Naina, as it was obvious to her that Sameer wasn’t used to such places… Maybe his maid shopped for him… She thought it was a good opportunity to harass him… However, much to her surprise, after a few minutes of discomfort he eased into it as if he had been doing it all the time… Rather than staying in the background while she shopped, he was right beside her, talking to the vegetable vendors, enquiring about the freshness and quality, joking a bit about the prices… The easy charm he exhibited had her regular vendors almost eat out of his hands… One woman from whom she would usually buy onions, tomatoes and potatoes, even commented that her husband was really good-looking… Naina gaped like a fish at that comment while Sameer profusely thanked the woman.

As they drove the short distance to the apartment, he grinned, “that was fun… kaafi time baad sabji market gaya.”

She couldn’t hide her surprise, “mujhe lag raha tha ke tum isse pehle kabhi nahi gaye.”

He chuckled, “this is Mumbai sweetheart… yahan log achche hai lekin meherbaani koi nahi karta… tumhe kya lagta hai mere paas bangla, gaadi, servants hamesha se the?” After a pause he answered himself, “not at all… it took me time, struggle and a lot of hard-work to reach where I am today… Jab main Mumbai aaya tha tab main jis room me rehta tha woh tumhare flat se bhi chota tha… Tumhare paas naukri hai… Mere paas ek start-up business tha jisme kisi din mujhe income milta tha, kisi din nahi… if you are thinking ke main yeh choti musibato se darr jaunga, then you are wrong Naina… tumne mera success dekha hai, mera struggle nahi… zameen pe sona meri aadat thi… bhuke pet bhi soya hun aur rent na bhar paane pe ek raat railway station pe bhi soya hun…”

She gasped, “par… par… tumhare Nanu…”

“Ameer hai”, he shrugged, “jaanta hun… but that’s the money he earned… not me… SJM Enterprise is my first baby Naina… Capital money me thoda contribution Nanu ka tha, but woh bhi loan tha jo maine unhe wapas kar diya… The life I am living today, I have built it from scratch… SJM is not just my identity; it is my pride, my hard-work, my passion… Bangla, gaadi yeh sab maine khud kamaya hai… I am not born with a silver spoon like you think…”

She was stumped to silence on hearing his tale… Everything she had perceived about him was slowly falling apart… He never had a pampered childhood, he never had a privileged life, he wasn’t the obnoxious jerk who was insensitive to middle-class ways… Yes, it was hard for him to sleep on floor, but he had done that before and he was ready to do it again… Yes, it was difficult for him to do all his work on his own, but he had done that before and he was ready to do it again… It was taking him just a bit of time to adjust or readjust to the life she was dishing out to him, but the grace with which he was fitting in was taking her by surprise.

The night held another surprise for her as he volunteered to cook dal and also made rice, telling her that it was essential for her to have proper meals. He even cut the salad, not just tomatoes, but cucumber and cabbage as well. When she started to arrange groceries he helped her… Staring around her kitchen he declared he would get a set of boxes tomorrow to store rice, dal and few other essentials. She spotted the pack of gram flour, and questioned him as that wasn’t on her list; he again stumped her by saying that it was for breakfast as he planned to make cheela for her. Though she didn’t want to show it to him but just in one day she was getting habituated to having him around… Working side by side in the kitchen didn’t feel as odd as last night… When they sat to eat, he showed her the sev-puri he had bought, thus reveling what was inside the packet he had got from the restaurant, and she had to struggle a lot to hide her elation… Eating together wasn’t a silent affair as he queried about her check-up schedules and other pregnancy related stuff… When he volunteered to wash the dishes, she let him, thinking once more that it was a façade he was putting up and wouldn’t manage to do it, but once again he proved her wrong as he slung a napkin on his shoulders and whistled a merry tune while scrubbing the utensils. She sat on the chair in living room, her eyes closed, as she tried to come to terms with the fact that Sameer Maheshwari had no intention to leave, no matter the difficulties he faced here. Sitting there, she recalled how in evening he had refused to let her boil milk, citing that he didn’t want her to feel uneasy and had mixed Horlicks in a glass of milk before bringing it to her with a wide smile on his face… Her heart had thumped as she had recalled Chachiji doing the same for her when she was younger… Whenever she studied late for exams or woke up early to study, Chachiji would heat up milk, mix sugar and bring it to her with a smile and encourage her to study well. She had missed that kind of loving gestures and it astonished her that she should find that same care and warmth from Sameer… As she accepted his offer for a night-walk, she didn’t realize that her heart was starting to accept his companionship which is why she didn’t hesitate to let him keep the house keys in his pant pocket while they left for their walk.

As it is said… Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning… Naina might have understood that what she felt for Sameer was not infatuation but something deeper called love, but it was Sameer who was slowly giving a meaning to this emotion she felt…