Love Me Tonight Chapter 6: Blinding Lights

Mumbai was never cold… Or so she had heard… Even now, when it would soon be mid-November, the temperature at night was 23 degrees and in day it was a tropical 30, but still, Naina didn’t know why she felt cold. She had her own home, albeit a rented apartment, but it was hers, a place she was paying for, a shelter she had decorated on her own, she had expected to feel warmth and comfort, but each night she only felt cold and lonely. She had her child, growing inside her, her heart filling with love for the unborn, but still every night as one hand cradled the baby in her stomach, the other hand wandered restlessly over the empty side of her mattress. Lunch and Dinner were a necessity, not something she savored, in fact, she hadn’t savored food since many years now… She had stopped going to roadside stalls for her favorite pani-puri, she had never explored the street-food Mumbai was famous for… She had stopped enjoying life since… … Manav…

The week after she found out she was Pregnant passed in a blurry daze… Her life had just changed drastically when she had left Bua-dadi’s home, but now it changed even more drastically. There were so many things to do… so many things to think of… First she had told about her pregnancy to Ujwala Atya and Poonam, both of whom had first been stunned with shock, then horrified, then badgered her with questions and then finally had slowly accepted once they had understood that she wasn’t sad with this… Naina had answered each of their questions patiently, but had strictly refrained from giving out even a single detail about the man in her life… Similar to the doctor Ujwala Atya had also thought of the worst for few moments, and had asked a few leading questions to her, but she had assured that whatever had happened had been with her consent and not force. She had felt that, that was it… The biggest hurdle had been crossed, but it was not so…

Check-up appointments had been fixed, with Poonam and Anmol, taking up duties to accompany her on rotation, even though she refused them. Ujwala Atya had pulled out books on pregnancy from the medical section and handed them over to Naina, and had also given her instructions about her diet. Naina had spent the week reading through journals and books that could guide her in this condition. She had also started to include more nutritious stuff in her meal, which apart from milk also included, spinach and other greens, as well as one fruit daily. The problem was that not many food items appealed her, and she didn’t know about it until she started cooking… It had happened first time with brinjals… She had brought a fat round purple brinjal, thinking to roast it and make her favourite baingan-bharta, but as soon as the vegetable had started to burn on flame she had gagged… It had been a night of roti and aloo-sabji then… That was also an odd thing to happen; she had never liked potatoes much, it was okay in pav-bhaji or vada-pav or samosa where they were smashed, but she would usually pick out the cubed potatoes from curry and pass it on to Preeti. She never ate jeera-aloo, but that day she had automatically cooked that dish, and had enjoyed the fragrance and taste both.

She wanted to take one day at a time, deal with the current, but her child was making her think of future. Was having just a savings account in enough? Should she start thinking of some small investments? Would she need any other furniture at home? She thought of how her belly would protrude and all the books she read told her about the difficulty she would face in sleeping, but a bed would be too much of an expense… Plus she would need to save that money for future, in the later stages of pregnancy and when her child would be born… There would be many expenses; sonography tests, vitamin supplements, she would have to be admitted to a hospital, the doctor’s fees, equipments she would need for the baby like a crib, feeder, bottle, clothes… There were 1001 things to think of, and she felt her brain was too small to process all of it.

On the 11^th of November, exactly a week after she had found out she was pregnant, she stood at the small balcony, slowly suckling on a imli goli that Ujwala Atya had given her, and rubbing her hand on her belly, “don’t worry… Mumma loves you… thodi mushkil hai lekin main haar nahi manungi. Tumhe sab kuch dene ki koshish karungi…”

With calm nerves and a deep breath she decided that she would forego the bed, and instead save that money for her child. She checked the time, and decided to sleep; some tests were to be done next day for which she had to go to hospital. Dr. Suchitra had mentioned that for the first few months it was better to get her pressure checked regularly, and also she wanted to do some further tests to check if there was some vitamin or mineral deficiency. Naina didn’t know what was necessary and what wasn’t, but she felt extremely sleepy all the time. This was supposed to be normal for most females going through pregnancy, but she was worried… Since last few days she was just dozing off at odd hours, like in between entering inventory at the library, or while reading a book… How could she just drop off like that? It didn’t feel normal… And that was why the tests had to be done…

After a night’s sleep once more filled with Sameer, she dressed up to go to the hospital. She tried not to think of him, not to take his name and most of the days she succeeded but she had no control over her dreams where he seemed to have captured every second. Would it always be like this? Would she ever be able to forget him?

The doorbell rang, and her heartbeat skittered for a second. She chided herself every time this happened… It wasn’t as if Sameer would suddenly come up and ring her doorbell. He had no idea where she lived… He didn’t even know bua-dadi’s home, how would he know about this apartment. She draped her dupatta, and opened the door to reveal a smiling Poonam.

“Hi Naina”, she greeted eagerly, “kaisi ho?”

Naina smiled, “main theek hun… tum betho… chai logi?”

Poonam shook her head, “nahi… main breakfast karke aai. Tum taiyar ho toh chale?”

“Haan”, Naina nodded, “bas ek minute.” Walking over to the kitchen she packed her lunch and a fruit, and then picked up her purse.

The lab test at the hospital was a quick one, but the results would arrive only after a day. Dr. Suchitra told her that her blood pressure was slightly low, advising her to take proper rest and eat well. Naina sighed, wondering how to tell that her last restful sleep was on the night of 16^th October, in the arms of the man she had started to love, but had the misfortune of never being able to claim him as hers. She rubbed her belly lightly, taking comfort in the fact that even if he was not there in her life, there was a part of him. She also fixed up some counseling sessions with Dr. Suchitra, thinking it would be better to talk about her worries to the doctor who considered it as her profession, than to her colleagues in library with whom she shared a personal bond.

“Tumhare reports kal aayenge”, Dr. Suchitra smiled, “toh first counseling session bhi kal hi rakhte hai.”

Naina nodded, her fingers twitching, “mujhe kuch… umm… kuch laana hai?”

“Nahi”, the doctor replied softly, “ek kaam karte hai… kal shaam ko tum library se seedhe mere personal clinic me aao. Tumhare ghar ke paas hai toh tumhare liye easy hoga, aur wahan kam patients hote hai toh main zyada time bhi de paungi.”

Naina felt relieved, “thank you doctor…”

“Suchitra”, the doctor gently coaxed. Naina looked confused; she smiled, “call me Suchitra. Counseling me comfort zaroori hai, thodi bonding zaroori hai. Sirf doctor smajhogi toh apne dil ki sab baate bata nahi paogi.”

Naina gulped, “actually… main doctor se zyada comfortable hun… Friends ko batana hota toh Amnol aur Poonam hai… Kisi bade ko batana hota toh Ujwala Atya hai… Par mera situation aisa hai ke I won’t be able to answer their personal questions. Isiliye… I feel… doctor better hai.”

Suchitra thought about it for a moment, staring at her patient’s nervous expression, and nodded, “fine… jaisa tumhe theek lage. Kal shaam ko milte hai… 7pm?”

“Yes”, Naina smiled, “thank you.”

The day at the library was light, but Naina felt exhausted. The tiffin she had brought was over, but she still felt hungry. Finally, unable to resist, she hesitantly asked Anmol if she could get something to eat nearby. He grinned, ruffling her hair affectionately, “all you have to do is ask Naina… Hum sab haina tumhara dhyan rakhne ke liye.”

She gave a weak smile, and took out her wallet, “kahan chale?”

He glared at her, “Naina Agarwal… just sit here… already itni thaki hui ho, I don’t want you running around. Train aur bus me aana-jaana kaafi hai… When will you understand? Sab kuch akele karneki zaroorat nahi hai.”

She moved her gaze away from Anmol… The brotherly affection soothed her, but deep-down the fear remained… Every relation she had, that she had thought of as a life-time bond, hadn’t lasted. Her happiness never lasted… She was grateful about such friendly colleagues, but they were colleagues… If she left her job, if one of them left their job, they would no longer be friends. Just like her college friends… None of them stayed in touch like before, an occasional birthday or some party… And her family, well… they were as good as strangers. She wanted to believe that she need not do everything on her own, but how could she…

Anmol meanwhile pretended to ignore the sad look on her face. He knew there was something, or probably many things in her past that she would never ever feel comfortable to divulge. There was something that held her back from accepting him, Poonam and Ujwala Atya as friends, even though they had been to her home, she still maintained a cordial distance. She wasn’t aloof, but she wasn’t relying on them either. All of them wanted to support her in her tough time, but she was like a closed book that they couldn’t open no matter how much they tried. He had been extremely angry on the man who had left her to fend for herself, but her love for the baby had reassured him that she had no hard feelings for the father. He had no idea what had happened, but Naina wasn’t revolted by whatever it was. In fact when she thought of or spoke of her baby it brought a shine in her eyes, that he understood must have been a permanent feature some time in her life, but had been extinguished by someone’s thoughtless act. To bring her out of her gloom, he cheerfully listed, “bahot options hai… vadapav, missal-pav, sandwich, pakode, samosa, noodles, fried rice…”

Her ears perked up, and she turned to look at him with interest, “noodles?”

Anmol paused, “haan… noodles… khaogi?”

She bit her lip, “kaise wale hote hai? Tumne khaye hai?”

He nodded, “haan… maine kaafi baar lunch me khaya hai… Vegetable aur Egg dono variety milti hai… chota sa restaurant hai, lekin kitchen saaf hai, aur sab khana fresh banta hai.”

She thought for a moment, “umm… main bhi chalu?”

He sighed, “tumhe thoda rest karne ki zaroorat hai Naina… At least tests aa jaye tab tak, please… Agar doctor kehti hai ke koi problem nahi hai, main tumhe nahi rokunga. Hum roz bahar jayenge khane… Par aaj ke liye meri baat maan lo. Apne baby ka socho…”

She placed a gentle hand on her belly, and a soft smile curved her lips, “theek hai… mujhe vegetable wale noodles chahiye… unko bolna teekha kam rakhe aur ajinomoto naa daale. Baby ke liye achcha nahi hoga.”

He nodded, “sure… kuch peene ko chahiye… juice vagera? Ya chai?”

She shook her head, “nahi… ab tak ulti aati hai… subah mushkil se dudh peeti hun… bas noodles laa do. Yeh paise…”

“It’s my treat”, he assured, and left before she could object.

On the evening of 12^th November while Naina relished her noodles, Sameer Maheshwari sat in his cabin in office, leaning against the chair, his eyes closed, his mind trapped in the moment when Naina had kissed him on his forehead. The single moment, those few seconds were burned in his conscious like nothing ever… And that kept assuring him that he hadn’t mistaken her affection. That whole night was special, but the way Naina had disappeared kept pricking him. And the more time it took to find her, the more his worry increased. What if she forgot him? What if she moved on? What if… what if she saw him and said that she didn’t want him in her life again? What if she rejected him as unworthy? After all… there weren’t many plus points in his character. And he had spectacularly displayed every negative aspect of himself… everything that a girl like Naina would hate or wouldn’t want in the man in her life. Damn the whisky he had ordered that evening…

Someone knocked on the door of his cabin. He straightened, “come in…”

His assistant walked in, “sir… yeh files pe aapke sign chahiye.”

Sameer took over the files, checked through and signed. As he handed them over, his assistant extended a card to him, “sir… yeh woh doctor ka address, jiske baare me aapne pucha tha.”

Sameer accepted the small visiting card, “thank you Aman… aaj shaam ka kya schedule hai?”

Aman quickly opened his diary, “

“You have a meeting at 5 with Viva Fabrics”, Aman announced in a practiced tone, “and then there is a meeting with Mr. Suri and his son, at 7pm in Purple Orchid, followed by dinner. Ms. Mehra will be going with you for the meeting with Suri’s.”

Sameer frowned, “who accepted dinner meeting?”

Aman’s mouth twitched but thankfully he was able to control his smile, “sir… you did… I mean… you mentioned that the deal was important so it was better to have as much time as needed. Probably you forgot because this was fixed almost a month ago.”

A month… Before the time he met Naina… Naturally he didn’t remember… He was used to working from early morning till late in the night, a habit his employees, especially Aman, were fed up of. But before Naina, he really didn’t have anything to look forward to… Late evening dinners, drinks, scouting clubs seemed normal. But now he wanted time to look for Naina, to think about her, to plan what to do when he found her… Moreover he also liked visiting bua-dadi, talk to her about Naina, and spend some time in her room among the things she had used and touched. He had wanted to go there today, but it looked like he won’t have time.

Aman’s hesitant voice reached his ears, “Sir… are you alright? Do you need anything else?”

Sameer looked at his assistant… He had been fed up of the girls he had hired before, when he had started the firm. Just a couple of days into the job and they would start trying to be familiar, as if him being a bachelor meant he wanted to be smothered with concern, or would like to look at short skirts… Yes, he had hunted for sex, but never in office… His employees were strictly off-limits for him… And attention hungry assistants were the last thing he needed. After three girls, each one of them barely lasting a couple of months, he had finally decided to break the mould of perception where assistants and secretaries could only be female, and had asked his HR department to hire a male assistant. He hadn’t known how that demand would turn out to be, but surprisingly Aman was much better to work with… The boy just out of college had adjusted to the ways of corporate and his boss’s peculiar demands and infamous temper very quickly. The plus point was there were no more short skirts to deal with…

“A coffee”, Sameer requested, “and maybe a pill for headache since you fixed me up with Kashish for the evening.”

Once more Aman looked as if he was struggling breaking into a smile as he replied, “sir… Kashish is alright… aap tension mat lijiye. Unka hona zaroori hai kyunki yeh export collection ki baat hai.”

Sameer sighed, “I understand… but still… anyways… get the coffee please.”

Aman looked a bit surprised at the ‘please’, but was wise enough to not ask or comment. He rushed to get his coffee, and was back in the cabin in ten minutes. Placing the cup on the table, he hesitated for a moment, but then said, “sir… umm… don’t worry about Kashish…”

Sameer lowered the file he was studying, and narrowed his eyes. Aman tumbled over his words in haste, afraid his boss would blast like a volcano any moment, “mera matlab… she isn’t… uhh… she isn’t your type.”

Sameer glowered, “what do you mean?”

Aman gulped, fingering his tie in nervousness, “sir… woh… Accounts me Hiten hai na… Kashish ki sagai hone wali hai uske saath.”

The file almost dropped from Sameer’s hands, “what? Sagai…?”

Aman nodded, “jee… teen din me sagai hai…”

Sameer recollected signing a leave application from Kashish, his design head. He couldn’t remember if he had approved a similar application for Hiten, whoever he was… A match in his office… He almost chuckled… Well, it didn’t matter that he was pining for Naina, at least someone was happy around him. A small smirk curved the right corner of his lips as he remembered Naina’s sassy comment on how he was wasting himself. After a brief thought he instructed, “Aman… please ensure that they both have enough leaves for their wedding ceremonies. Aur unki shaadi ke liye company ke taraf se koi gift dena… Maybe cash voucher or something, jo woh log shaadi ke baad use kar sake.”

This time Aman couldn’t hide the surprised expression as he nodded and assured that he would look into the matter. Sameer let himself relax as his assistant left the cabin, and chuckled as he thought about Aman’s reaction if he knew that his boss had left his frivolous ways and was committed to an elusive girl.

It had been a week since he had gotten to know that Naina had left bua-dadi’s home. He had visited her twice after that, keeping her posted on his attempts to search Naina, and seeking more details. He now knew that Naina loved to eat chaat and pakoras, she liked rice more than roti, and also that she could gorge on sweets anytime of the day. He also knew that Naina never bought more clothes than necessary, but had spent meticulous amount of time to refine her English and dress according the recent fashion in college. All these information seemed normal, but a sort of grief had settled in his heart when he had gotten to know that when bua-dadi had brought Naina to Mumbai she had had bruises on her body as if someone had hit her, and also that she used to have nightmares every night for many months. Who could have hurt her like that to invade her sleep? Her skin was so soft… Who had the guts to hit her? Was it her family? They could… he knew they could… But why? Why would they hit her?

After talking to bua-dadi that day, he had taken half a day to assimilate to the disappointment of not finding Naina, and then had gathered himself prepared to search for her anew. He had talked to Suraj informing him of Naina’s disappearance, and had requested him to talk to their common friends casually enquiring if Naina had been in touch. He didn’t want to spread the news of Naina leaving home… Not everyone would be understanding of her situation or the night they had spent together. Suraj was thankfully an exception, who had understood the depth of his feelings, but other friends who had not met him might think badly of Naina’s character, and he didn’t want that to happen… Suraj had agreed to keep the enquiry inconspicuous. In just two days he had known that Naina hadn’t contacted any of her friends… That meant she hadn’t taken help from them.

His next target had been the bank. Bua-dadi had informed him that Naina had withdrawn all the money and closed the account… Upon further enquiry, and a glance at few receipts in cupboard in her room, he had gotten to know that Naina had a considerable amount in her bank… Not that high that she could be called rich, but she wasn’t a pauper either… She had saved from her pocket money in college, and then from her salary. She didn’t have a lavish personal lifestyle, which ensured a steady growth in her savings account. This meant that she couldn’t have carried cash… Naina wasn’t foolish… If not cash, then there were two options… Either she would have transferred her money to a new account, or she would have taken demand drafts. Whatever the option, it was impossible to know more without the approval of the bank manager. He had taken time to draft a proper plan, knowing that the previous enquiries he had done at Naina’s college were amateurish, and this time he couldn’t take a chance to fail. And hence Sameer had visited the bank one morning, flashing his business card and demanding to meet the manager…

The name of SJM Enterprise was enough to send the portly man in blue shirt rushing up to him, asking what was needed. Sameer had stayed calm, asking about the bank, enquiring about the account schemes available for corporate. He had mentioned he was trying to set up some private pension fund for his employees, relishing in silence at how the dangled bone was quickly bit into… He had leaned back in amusement when the manager had pulled out several files and papers, starting to explain about how they could help. Sameer had spared 30 minutes to listen to all schemes and then had drawled, “I like it… lekin yeh sab toh dusre banks bhi offer karte hai… Aapke bank me aisa kya unique hai?”

The bank manager had simpered, “hamari service sir… aapko aisi service kahin nahi milegi.”

He had waved the assurance of service aside with a careless gesture, and asked, “what else can you do? I want to know if you can give me what I need…”

The manager had been puzzled, “aur kya kar sakte hai hum… aap bataiye na… we would meet all your requirements.”

Sameer had quirked a brow, “sure?”

The manager had nodded, pulled into his trap like a fly entranced with the intricate web spun by the spider. “There’s one thing…”, Sameer had said, taking care to lace his voice with enough doubt, “but I don’t know…”

“We can do anything sir”, had come the hasty assurance from the manager.

Sameer had pushed a slip of paper, “information.”

The manager had picked up the paper, confused as he read aloud, “Naina Agarwal.” There was also an account number beneath.

“I need to know about her”, Sameer had stated, and watched with an assessing eye as the sweating had started. The manager had squirmed, loosened his extra tight tie a bit, debating internally for many minutes, before squeaking, “sir… we can’t…”

“We can do anything sir”, Sameer had interrupted, “didn’t you say that just few minutes ago…? I am sure my ears function properly.”

The manager had pulled out a handkerchief to wipe his forehead, “y…yes sir… we can… par yeh toh… I mean… kisi customer ki information kaise de sakte hai hum?”

Sameer had shrugged, “she is no longer with your bank… I need to know where she is… And for that I need her new bank account…”

Still squirming a bit, the manager had started to ask, “par… par aap kyun…”

“Personal”, Sameer had interrupted, “not your concern… the only concern you should have is that yeh hi ek cheez hai jo SJM ka account iss bank me laa sakti hai.”

“But sir…”, the manager had croaked.

Once more he had interrupted, not giving a chance of argument to his adversary, “think about it… ek aisi customer ka information protect karoge jiska account iss bank me ab hai bhi nahi ya SJM ka lakhon ka account apne bank me laoge… From where I stand it could mean nothing versus an increment or at least a hefty bonus.” Giving exactly one minute to sweat, he had stood up, “I don’t have time to waste… main koi aur rasta dhund lunga information ke liye.”

Negotiate. Offer your last bid. And then leave. The rules of business world would surely help him. Counting under his breath, he had started to walk to the door… Two steps later, the manager had panicked, “sir… ek minute…”

Sameer had closed his eyes in relief for a second, and then turned with a disinterested expression, “I really don’t have a minute for you unless you can give me what I want…”

The manager had stammered, “m…main… batata hun… But please… don’t tell anyone about it…”

“I don’t gossip”, Sameer had stated, and sat down again, “get the information, and I will make sure you have the pension scheme accounts.”

Fifteen minutes later Sameer had the information of Naina’s old account, and true to his guess she had taken her money in demand-drafts. The manager gave him the name and address of a State Bank of India branch in Borivali west, telling him that the issued demand drafts had been deposited there. So, that meant Naina was living in that area, Sameer had thought trying to hide his relief.

The manager had mused, “it’s strange… mujhe yaad hai yeh madam yahan aai thi.”

Sameer’s gaze had sharpened, “what happened?”

“Unhone kaha family me medical emergency hai”, the manager had stated, “isiliye sheher chodke jaane wale hai woh log. But yeh toh… I mean… yeh naya bank toh yahin Mumbai me hai… That means she was lying.”

Sameer had nodded in affirmative, “yes… she was…”

Perplexed the manager has queried, “but why? Unke account me itne paise nahi the ke itni lambi kahani banani padti account bandh karne ke liye… We wouldn’t have stopped her… Bas procedures me 1-2 din lagte… Par unhone kaha emergency hai toh maine…” His eyes had widened, “oh my God… Sir… Do you think… Uh… I mean… Itni jaldi jaane ki… do you think she did some crime? Maybe stolen something…”

Sameer had understood perfectly why Naina had lied. She had known bua-dadi would try to find her and her bank account would link her very easily wherever she went. And so she had wanted to close it as soon as possible, so that the last link, according to her was broken. Thank God, she had agreed to take demand-drafts instead of cash, else this would have been another dead end for Sameer… Tracing the new account number, he had murmured, “yes… she did steal something from me…” Naina had very easily stolen his heart, and along with that his peace of mind and sleep…

The manager’s eyes had widened in comical horror at the revelation that such a simple middle-class girl could dare to steal from the ruthless businessman sitting in-front of him. Sameer had asked with full authority, “use your contacts… get me her new address… she can’t hide from me.”

The manager had nodded, dreaming of the pension scheme, and eager to show his bravery in helping a businessman capture a thief. Sameer had taken his leave, assuring that as soon as Naina Agarwal’s new address was passed on to him, his assistant would get in touch to kick-start the pension scheme.

The weekend had passed since then, and it had been three days in the new week, but still there was no news. Now before leaving for the meeting with Mr. Suri, he called the manager, simply stating, “I don’t like delays…”

The manager at the other end wiped his forehead, “I am sorry sir… bank thoda bada hai toh time lag raha hai. I promise… kal dopahar tak sab information aa jayega.”

Sameer disconnected, finding himself unable to speak, his hand shaking at the thought that tomorrow he would have Naina’s new address. He wanted to call bua-dadi and give her the good news, but refrained… What if… What if his search ended on a disappointing note like last time… He didn’t want to give empty hopes to bua-dadi given her age and health. He would find Naina first, and then only tell her…

The next thing he did was to call up the doctor and schedule an urgent appointment for tomorrow. Munna’s mother was going through her menopause, but the pain had been excessive, and a check-up had revealed a tumor in the uterus, which thankfully was non-malignant. The doctor in Ahmedabad had recommended hysterectomy, but Munna and his wife wanted to get another opinion before agreeing to it. Hence, Munna had called up Sameer, asking him a favor. Sameer was genuinely worried. He had fond memories of Munna’s mother, whenever he had gone to their home, aunty had treated him to delicious snacks, smothering all the boys with affection and concern. Sameer, who had always been parched for motherly love had lapped it all up. He earnestly hoped that Munna’s mother would recover… Hence he had immediately said that he would show her reports to some famous gynecologist in Mumbai, and had also offered financial help if needed. He just hoped that everything would turn out alright.

The meeting at Purple Orchid was a success, and thanks to Kashish Mehra they had the deal signed right over drinks. As they exited the hotel, Sameer asked, “shall I drop you or Hiten is coming to pick you up?”

Kashish faltered, right on the verge of twisting her foot, but somehow managed to hold herself up in her heels. Had she heard right? The boss – SJM – was offering her lift? And he knew of Hiten? She peered at him curiously, and blinked in surprise, noticing the prominent dark circles, the fatigue and a sense of gloom in his eyes. She recalled how he had also not participated much in the discussion throughout dinner, his eyes had been unfocused many times as if he was physically with them but mentally somewhere else.

“Kashish?” The uncertain call of his name made her jerk out of her observations. She immediately composed herself, “uh… sorry sir… I… I was just thinking about the deal.”

“It is over”, Sameer shrugged, “isn’t it better if you focus on your engagement now? It is just three days away if I am not wrong.”

Kashish smiled, “yes sir. I am on leave from day after…”

Sameer nodded, “about the lift…?”

“Oh”, Kashish hesitated, “I was just thinking of taking a cab.”

The boss scowled, making her pulse race in anxiety… Was he angry? What had she done?

“it’s not safe”, he declared and started to walk again, “let me drop you. Anyways we came together, so I guess it is my responsibility to drop you as well.”

Kashish gasped softly and tried to say, “par uss waqt toh driver…”

Sameer stopped, turning to his employee, “Mohan bimar hai… Isiliye I sent him off. If you are scared to come with me then I suggest you call Hiten and ask him to pick you up. I will wait here with you till he comes…”

Kashish hurried to assure him, “no no Sir… I am not scared… I just didn’t want to cause inconvenience.”

Sameer sighed, “it’s not an inconvenience… where do you live?”

She gave her address, and he nodded, letting her exit to the parking lot first. He was silent as he drove, and turned on the car radio on low voice so there was no need for conversation. Kashish kept looking sideways to observe him… Sameer Jaiprakash Maheshwari, or SJM as he was called by his staff while gossiping, was everything a girl would want… Rich, handsome, sophisticated… His attitude and style spoke for him… But he was also everything a girl wouldn’t want… hot-headed, temperamental, egoistic… His unpredictable anger left all his employees scurrying away from him, and yet his past assistants had been foolish enough to throw themselves at him. There were rumors of SJM being Casanova, and looking at him anyone would believe that it was true… After all the kind of face and body he had, it wouldn’t be difficult to score girls, and also all that attitude and anger had to have an outlet… But despite all this, SJM Enterprise was  one of the companies in Mumbai to have the maximum female staff. Being a fashion firm, dealing in exclusive garments, boutiques, and actively involved in exports to big fashion retails, it was probably not a surprise that more than 60% of staff was female, and they also had gorgeous models moving in and out of their office for photoshoots. And never once had SJM ever given a chance to anyone to badmouth him… He maintained a respectable distance with females, employees and models alike; his infamous temper and scowl permanently in place to discourage any feminine advances; and surprisingly enough he had also carved out special rules and clauses for the comfort of female staff… Right from arranging a bus for all the junior female staff so that they wouldn’t have to travel alone by public transport at nights, to having a fully-paid additional 2 months of maternity leave on top of the government specified 3 months, and also having a separate ladies break room with the thought that not every time would they like to mingle with males. SJM also ran several employment schemes in rural areas, getting women to design and stitch, using his expertise in fashion to promote traditional Indian handloom.

Kashish smiled recalling a latest news being circulated among employees, and volunteered, “sir… the idea of having a kid zone during the annual company party is brilliant.”

Sameer shrugged, “there are so many females in our company. It doesn’t make sense that many of them have to leave early to attend to their kids and family. I thought it would make more sense to have entire families over to the party so everyone can enjoy to the fullest.”

She nodded, “everyone loved the idea sir… thank you.”

Sameer didn’t reply to that, putting an end to the brief conversation. Ten minutes later he parked in-front of her house, and watched with trepidation as a middle-aged couple came outside.

“Mama-Papa”, Kashish muttered, “oh damn…”

He blinked, listening to his employee curse, and then silently unbuckled his seat-belt, stepping out. The couple looked at him warily, and Kashish introduced, “yeh mere boss hai… Mr. Sameer Maheshwari.”

Sameer folded his hands and returned the silent greetings. Kashish steamrolled, “woh… meeting me der ho gai thi na… isiliye sir mujhe drop karne aaye… warna itni raat ko taxi leni padti…”

Her father acknowledged, “thank you sir… hume bhi chinta ho rahi thi ke itni late akele kaise aayegi.”

Sameer nodded, “it’s alright… main chalta hun… Kashish, thank you for handling the meeting today… good work… and congratulations on your engagement.”

Kashish beamed at him, and her parents relaxed, instantly inviting him to have tea or coffee. Sameer politely refused saying that he needed to go home, and drove off, watching the little family in his rearview mirror. Kashish hugged her mother, and he smiled, his mind once more wandering off to Naina. He missed her so much… When would tomorrow come? He would get the address… It would be so wonderful to meet her… He had so much to tell her, and he desperately wanted to hug her tight in his arms.

13^th November 1998 – In three days’ time it would be one month since he had met Naina at Club Vortex… A month of his relentless efforts to find her… A month of loneliness, pain, hopelessness, desolation… A month of analyzing his feelings for her and feeling scared at the depth he could witness… Sameer was so occupied in his thoughts that he didn’t even pay attention to Bhavna Tai’s chatter about how she had prayed at the temple early morning today, asking God to help him find Naina soon.

He dressed in a blue shirt with black suit, stuffed Naina’s anklet in his pocket like every day, and set out hoping to accomplish something today. It was a day of meetings after meetings, not a single moment to spare, he barely even had time to have lunch until Aman took pity on him and placed a sandwich on his table which he gobbled in less than 5 minutes. The annual meeting was barely a month away, and he needed to be prepared. It would be a three day long event or he should say headache… There would be the director meeting, the board meeting, the meeting with his senior leadership team, the roll out of promotions and bonuses, the company performance discussion with employees and the plans for next year. Three days full of meetings of all kinds, and finally there would be the evening of party. The year was coming to a close and the pressure to close it on a good note was always paramount.

On the other hand Naina had an unusually lazy day because no one would allow her to work. She had come in to find a cushion on her chair… She blinked at the bright pink cover that looked hand-knitted… Her suspicion was confirmed when Ujwala Atya asked if she liked it, “ladkiyo ko pink pasand aata hai na… isiliye maine… tumhe pasand aaya?”

Naina smiled, “of course… thank you… mujhe shaam tak thoda peeth me dard hone lagta tha par mere paas itna khoobsurat sa cushion hai.” Ujwala Atya beamed at her, totally unaware that Naina hated bright shades of pink, or any color for that matter.

She read, ate her fruit, read again, ate her lunch, and then read again… It was a dull and boring day, but she could see many days like this in future. Her colleagues were treating her like a glass doll, and she felt strange and useless. But she didn’t want to hurt their feelings… So she sat through the day, eating whenever she felt hungry, sleeping whenever she needed to. She counted each minute, waiting the clock to strike so that she would know one more hour had gone by. She hoped that all the tests were okay, if there was any deficiency then three indomitable forces she worked with wouldn’t let her do a single thing for the remaining months of her pregnancy.

Dr. Suchitra Deshpande was exhausted, mentally more than physically. Her new patient, a girl of mere 19 years, had strictly said no for abortion, but her parents were determined. The girl had been married just for a couple of days when her husband passed away in an accident, and the in-laws abandoned her given it had been a love marriage. Now, a widow, back at her parents since last two months after her husband’s death and pregnant, she was a burden to them. While the girl desperately sobbed to keep the baby, her parents seemed to be resolute in their decision of getting rid of all signs of their daughter’s mistake. She had no idea what to do. The hysterics had driven the girl to the point of fainting, and she had finally recommended her to be admitted for the night in her personal clinic. Her parents were outside, still sticking to their decision of abortion. She sat with her head bent, the cup of tea forgotten on the side, and that was how Naina found her.

“Hello doctor”, Naina greeted, “kya hua?”

Suchitra shook her head and smiled, “kuch nahi Naina… bas thoda thak gai hun. Come on in… betho. Tum batao… tum kaisi ho?”

“Pareshan”, Naina admitted with a frown, as she sat down, “mere colleagues mujhe kaam hi nahi karne de rahe.”

After many hours that day, finally Suchitra let out a genuine laugh, “tum pehli insaan ho jo kaam na kar paane pe udaas ho.”

Naina smiled, “maybe I am mad… reports aa gaye?”

Suchitra nodded, “yes… I looked through. Bahot basic vitamin deficiency hai, jo pregnancy me normal hota hai. Main davaiya likh deti hun… There’s nothing to worry about. Lekin iska matlab yeh nahi hai ke tum apna dhyan nahi rakhogi…”

Naina exhaled in relief, “thank God… I am trying… Green vegetables, dudh, fruits…”

“Good”, Suchitra approved, “khane peene ke saath-saath rest bhi zaroori hai… Sleep when you feel sleepy. Aur ho sake toh thoda meditation bhi start karo.”

Naina nodded, but averted her gaze wondering how she could rest when whole night she dreamt of the man who would never be in her life, yet ironically only his imaginary arms had the capability to put her to sleep.

Suchitra closed the file, placing it aside and asked, “Naina… let’s talk for some time… tumhe koi pareshani hai toh batao mujhe… We can find out solution together.”

Naina shrugged, “aisa kuch nahi hai doctor… I am just… mere matlab… I am single mother, toh thoda financial planning me problem ho rahi hai… Samajh nahi aa raha future ka kya plan karu. Medical expenses, sonography, delivery ke time pe hospitalization… Inn sabka estimate kaise lagau? Abhi se sochungi tabhi toh pata chalega na kaise savings karu.”

“I will help with that”, Suchitra assured, “main tumhe chart banake dungi… number of check-ups, standard sonography, aur normal delivery versus cesarean ke rates me difference.”

Naina looked surprised, “cesarean? Maine toh woh socha hi nahi tha…”

Suchitra smiled, “it’s alright…” Then she delicately asked, “Naina… the father… tumne mujhe bataya tha ke jo bhi hua it was with your consent… lekin ab tum log saath nahi ho… are you sure about this? Ek baar batana bhi chahti uss insaan ko?”

Something pinched her heart as she suddenly heard his low husky voice murmuring I am going to kiss you Naina… She closed her eyes, trembling at the memory of her first ever kiss. He had made her surrender to her heart with just a brush of his lips… so soft and warm…

Sirf ek raat ki baat hoti hai… No commitments… No second meeting… No dating…

Another line of his cut through her sensual memory, and her eyes snapped open. She took a deep breath, “no… main use nahi batana chahti. It won’t matter probably.”

Suchitra prodded, “how do you know?”

“Because he is used to one-night stands”, Naina divulged, “ek mahina ho chuka hai almost… ab tak toh usko aur koi mil gai hogi jisne mujhe bhulane me uski help kar di hogi.”

Suchitra stayed silent, waiting… Naina had a strange cryptic smile on her lips, “he thought he loved someone… par uss ladki ne usko reject kar diya. Jis raat hum mile, ussi din usne uss ladki ko propose kiya tha, aur rejection ka gam bhulane ke liye he was in a club… I consoled him… We… We had sex… And he was drunk…”

Suchitra was bit stumped at the details conveyed in monotone. It was as if Naina was sharing someone else’s tale, not her own life’s incident. It was a difficult path to tread on, and so she kept her voice gentle as she further queried, “you think he doesn’t remember?”

Naina let out a mirthless laughter, “I am sure he remembers… But I am also sure it isn’t an important enough memory. Isiliye mujhe nahi batana… I am not sure of his reaction, lekin pakka khush toh nahi hoga… He might accept the child out of responsibility, and I don’t want that.”

“Why not?” Suchitra asked, “agar zimmedari leneko taiyar ho toh achcha hi hai na. You both can share the responsibility, the expenses. Practically socho Naina…”

Naina was silent for a moment, stringing her thoughts, “maine bahot socha hai doctor… I don’t have a mother… Papa bas mujhe apni responsibility maante the… ek aisi zimmedari jo unki majboori thi. It was not a very happy situation… Main wahi bachpan apne bachche ke liye nahi chahti… Yeh baby meri responsibility hai but I love it already… Lekin iske papa ke liye yeh unwanted responsibility hogi, which I don’t want.”

Suchitra urged further, “tumne mujhe pehle bataya tha ke tumhari family nahi hai.”

“Sach me nahi hai”, Naina replied, “zinda hai… kahin toh hai… lekin unke liye main kuch nahi hun… Kaafi saal ho gaye hai iss baat ko… Main maa banne wali hun yeh sunke kisika mara hua pyaar nahi jaagega. Ulta mere wajah se hui sharmindagi ki ek aur wajah badh jayegi.”

Suchitra sighed, “aisa lag raha hai jaise tumne saare darwaze bandh kar diye hai.”

Naina smiled, “haan… kyunki unn saare darwazo se mujhe bahar nikaal diya gaya hai… Let it go doctor… Mere past me kuch nahi rakha hai… Yeh counseling, let it be about my future, not past… Help me plan, teach me how to take care of my child…”

Suchitra thought for a minute, and then agreed, “fine… if you say so… next appointment ke time pe aane wali mahino ke expenses ka plan karte hai…”

Naina’s eyes brightened, she was glad she would have a proper help. Suchitra handed over the vitamin prescription, and then Naina stood up and left.

There was still 5 minutes left before her next appointment would start. She checked on the girl next door once, ensuring she was still asleep, and then picked up the file of the next case. It was a simple one… Just a reference check for a second opinion… That shouldn’t take much time, and it was the last appointment for the day. After that she would have to deal with the 19 year old… She hoped the parents would see some sense.

As she sipped on a glass of water, there was knock on the door, and it opened to reveal a man dressed in black suit with blue shirt. Suchitra gaped… The water was promptly forgotten… Something skipped inside her belly as if she was a teenager and had just spotted her first crush. Damn… Who was this? Maybe the most handsome man to ever exist…

Oh she loved her husband and her 5-year old son, but she would have to be totally physically immune to not react to the sight before her. Tall, smart, with a sharp jawline that seemed to be shaped with some geometric instrument, onyx hair as glossy as the most luxurious silk, deep-set eyes that looked distant and alert, lips that were unusually lush, and an evening stubble that seemed too sexy to describe in words. The man smiled, his distant eyes turning curious, and she drew in a breath, sure that a flush had tinged her cheeks… Thank God she was married… It was probably against moral codes for a doctor to flirt with a patient.

“Can I come in doctor?”

A complete package… She sighed internally on hearing him, even as she nodded to allow him to step in… His voice was magic… Probably if he lowered it a little, she would have the perfect definition of midnight bedroom voice that she read of in romantic novels. She cleared her throat, trying to get a grip over herself.

The man’s lips curved in amusement, “would you like to finish that water?”

She blinked, moving her gaze from the handsome vision to the glass still held aloft in her hand, and mentally smacked herself. Keeping it aside on the table, she gulped once, ensuring that her throat wasn’t parched and her voice wouldn’t be a squeak if she spoke.

“Hello”, she greeted, “uh… sorry… I was bit distracted… A case…”

The amusement in his eyes increased, “I can understand… You need some time?”

Suchitra, for the first time in her career, wiped her palms on her dress, “umm… no… please tell me how can I help you?”

“My name is Sameer Maheshwari”, he said, “maine aapko ek case ki file bheji thi…”

She nodded, “yes of course… par uspe toh patient ka last name Patel hai…”

Sameer leaned back, moving a hand through his hair, “haan… mere friend ki mom hai. They live in Ahmedabad.”

Her eyes flickered to his slightly unsettled hair, and then back to his face, “oh I see…” To avoid embarrassing herself she opened the file again, even though she had read it already, and scanned through the details again. He waited patiently, scowling at his phone at regular intervals as if he was waiting for someone’s call… Probably girlfriend… The way he looked, there had to be a woman in his life… Lucky lady, she thought. Over the file, her gaze strayed to his fingers wrapped around his mobile, finding them to be exceptionally long, with clean oval nails. Once more her thoughts strayed to forbidden territories, and she quickly fixed her eyes on the blood test report. Ayush would probably have a fit when she would tell him about this handsome man tonight… The thought of seeing her husband’s jealous expressions pleased her.

Sameer looked concerned, “is there a problem doctor? Aunty theek ho jayegi na… I mean… She is like my mother…”

Suchitra glanced at his expressions, and instantly came out of her personal thoughts, switching to professional mode, “don’t worry Mr. Maheshwari… She will be fine… I can see ke unke doctor ne already surgery recommend ki hai. Mera bhi wahi recommendation hai… Just one thing to take care of… Patient ko hypertension hai, so take care ke jab bhi operation ka date fix ho tab blood pressure high na ho. Aur operation ke baad, unke khane-peene pe bahot dhyan rakhna padega…”

Sameer asked, “jaise?”

“Uterus ya garbhaashay mahilayo ke body ka ek bahot unique hissa hai”, Suchitra explained, “tumor ke wajah se jab woh part body se nikaal diya jayega, it would cause hormonal imbalance. Ek female ki body me kaafi saare hormone uterus pe dependent hote hai… Isiliye operation ke baad diet nutritious hona chahiye… Ask the doctor to recommend vitamin and iron capsules… Unki immunity levels low ho jayegi toh uspe dhyan dena padega… Probably she should take some meal supplements like protein powders. And of course regular check-up zaroori hoga.”

Sameer nodded, memorizing all that she said, and asked a few questions. Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and Suchitra frowned, thinking it was her nurse cum receptionist, “kya hua Madhu?”

Had the girl next door woken up earlier than expected? Was everything alright? However, Suchitra’s confusion increased when the door opened and Naina peeped in. Suchitra was about to ask, but before she could Naina spoke up, “sorry doctor… main apni file bhool gai thi… If you don’t mind main le lu? Mujhe thoda late ho raha hai isiliye disturb kiya… I am really sorry…”

Suchitra smiled and nodded, missing how the man seated in-front of her had stiffened, he had even stopped breathing… As Naina came inside the cabin, the man whispered, “Naina…”

Suchitra looked at him… He hadn’t turned… In fact he was sitting as if he was stuck to his seat, his entire body stiff, and his face pale with shock. She moved her eyes to Naina, who had frozen just inside the door, her gaze fixed on the back of the man, and even she looked shocked. The only sound in the cabin was the tick of the clock as the seconds stretched… Suchitra tried to comprehend the situation but failed miserably. And then there was a rush of wind as Sameer stood up, steel screeched on tile as the chair he was sitting on was roughly pushed back, and he turned to look behind him…

Naina… Naina… His Naina… It was her… Oh God… His eyes took in her sight like a dry sponge soaking water… His stiffened body seemed to loosen muscle by muscle as his heart thudded in express speed, pumping blood through his veins… In two long strides he covered the distance between them and enveloped her in his arms…

Suchitra blinked… Naina’s entire frame was covered by Sameer’s strong muscled body, and even from this distance she could see him tightening his arms to hold her as close as possible… Naina was standing cocooned in his warmth, still too shocked to respond, her hands dangling useless by her sides. But Sameer didn’t seem to mind that he was not being hugged back by her… He drew back a bit, cupping her sweet face, peppering kisses on her forehead, on her eyes, cheeks, nose…

Naina stirred a bit, the shock in her eyes turning to confusion, “Sameer?”

He nodded, smiling through the tears streaming down his face, as he softly reprimanded, “how dare you? Tum aise kaise jaa sakti ho… Kitna dhunda tumko maine… Do you have any idea? Mere baare me bilkul nahi socha tumne…”

She couldn’t reply as he kissed her forehead, her hair again… Her heart started to race at his kisses, at his touch, at his voice… The words didn’t register… But the sound of voice raised goosebumps on her skin…

“Oh Naina… I missed you so much”, he whispered, pulling her in a hug again…

Suchitra stood up… The sound of her chair brought Naina back to her senses… Sameer… Sameer Maheshwari was here… At the clinic… And he had seen her… How did he find her? It didn’t matter… No… She had to leave… Escape… He shouldn’t know about her… She can’t be with him… With a new-found determination, she pushed him away, her eyes wide with fear… He looked shocked at her action… And taking advantage of this, she turned and fled for dear life…

Sameer stood stunned for a couple of minutes before rushing behind her… What the hell was happening? Why did she run? Where was she going? Was she leaving him again? The front door was wide open, and he ran outside… His car was parked in the small compound, but she was nowhere to be seen. He went outside on the road, scanning both sides, but couldn’t spot any light yellow dress.

Dammit… Where had she gone?

He walked a little distance on both ends, searching through the shops and crowd. But even after fifteen minutes, all he could see was the blinding lights from the traffic on road amidst which his Naina had disappeared. How to find her now?