The ceiling fans whirred as they always did, the smell of old books and musty walls lingered around like every day, the regular flow of patrons continued… Yet Naina didn’t find peace. She was perturbed with the way she had behaved with Sameer yesterday… How could she have clung to him like that? How could she have kissed his chest? God… She was so sure that she wanted to stay away from him, wasn’t she? And Sameer…? What was up with him? Why was he being so noble? Wasn’t it normal for him to have females shower their attention on him? Didn’t he revel in that kind of attention? Wasn’t that the reason that he was used to taking different women to bed? Then why had he refrained last night? Was it really because of love, like he said? But how can it be? And did she really love him yet? How could she have lack of trust and love both inside her? She didn’t want to love him… But it seemed she was being rendered helpless by her heart. It seemed like a slowly moving tornado that kept sucking her in its core every time she struggled to reach out… What should she do?
A tap on her shoulder made her jerk, and she gasped, glaring at the intruder. Anmol held up his hands in surrender, “hey! what’s wrong?”
She sighed, “nothing much… Bas tumhara SJM…”
Anmol chuckled, sitting opposite to her, “mera?? Naina… I think… tumhara pregnancy report yeh prove karta hai ke SJM kiska hai…”
“Shut up”, she groaned, “mujhe nahi sochna uske baare me.”
Just then Poonam came by and informed, “Naina… SJM called… Usne kaha ke main tumhe yaad dila du ke fruits kha lena.”
Naina frowned, “Sameer called you?”
Poonam replied over her shoulder while walking back, “library ke phone pe call kiya.”
Anmol looked at her in confusion, “kya hua Naina? Why such a question? Tumhe Sameer pe koi shaq hai kya?”
She looked away, “nahi… aisa kuch nahi hai…”
He queried once more, “does he trouble you? Tumhe uske saath nahi rehna kya?”
“I don’t know”, she replied in an exasperated tone, “tumhe pata hai… Sameer mere saath school me padhta tha… I used to study in Hindi medium school… Aur 11th standard me ekdum hero jaisa dikhne wala ek ladka aaya jispe sab ladkiya fida thi…” She took a deep breath before continuing, “main bhi… Maine kuch expect nahi kiya tha… School me sab mujhe chidate the… Padhaku, maniben, behenji… But Sameer was the hero… Woh meri taraf dekhta bhi tha na toh main khush ho jaati thi… Aur itne saalo baad jab woh mila toh, he was still the hero… bas uski kuch aadatein mujhe achchi nahi lagi… But look at what I did… I slept with him… And now I have no idea how to trust him…”
Anmol gaped at her, “what do you mean slept with him? I thought… tum logo ka koi relationship tha lekin phir kisi baat pe break up hua.”
She closed her eyes, “no… mujhe dekhke tumhe lagta hai ke SJM jaisa insaan mujhse relation rakhega? It was… just one night…” Anmol sat stunned at the information… She quickly pleaded, “please kisi aur ko mat batana yeh… Khaas kar ke Ujwala Atya…”
“Nahi bataunga”, he assured, “but… do you mean… he slept with you and then left you…? And now he is back? Why?”
Naina sighed and confessed, “he didn’t leave… I did… Uss din Sameer ne jhooth bola ke uski galti thi…” She gave a brief account of the events at the club and then how she had left in morning thinking that she didn’t mean anything to him, “par ab woh kehta hai he loves me… Woh mere liye jo karta hai, aaj tak kabhi kisine nahi kiya. I want to believe him… par samajh nahi aa raha kya sach hai kya nahi…”
He sat silent for a moment, and then asked, “usko pata tha tum kahan rehti ho?”
She shook her head, “nahi… maine purana ghar chod diya… naukri, bank sab badal diya… par usne mujhe dhund nikala… kehta hai shaadi karna chahta hai…”
He smiled, “usko kuch pata nahi tha phir bhi usne tumhe dhund nikala… Tum usko chodke aai thi phir bhi usne tumhe dhunda… Itna kaafi nahi hai yeh prove karne ke liye ke usko tumhari parvah hai? I am sure tumse wapas milne se pehle usko pregnancy ke baare me kuch pata nahi tha… Phir bhi he was looking for you… Main tumhari jagah hota toh mere liye itna hi kaafi hota uspe trust karne ke liye.”
“Tumhe uska past nahi pata”, she said in an irate tone.
He promptly questioned, “aur tumhe pata hai? Sab kuch…?” She was about to say yes, but then slowly shook her head in negative. He smiled, “agar kisi baat ko leke tum uspe vishwaas nahi kar paa rahi toh uss maamle ko resolve karo Naina… Aise sirf sochte rehne se kuch nahi hoga… You care for him so much… Jab maine use maara toh aisa lag raha tha ke dard tumhe hua… Uske baaho me tum ekdum safe feel kar rahi thi… Jab woh roz shaam tumhe lene aata hai toh tum apne hothon ko toh muskurane se rok leti ho, par tumhari aankhon ki chamak nahi chupa paati… I honestly think you love him very much… And if I know anything about love, I can guarantee that Sameer loves you too…”
She shrugged, “leave it… fruits kha leti hun warna shaam ko bolega…”
He chuckled, standing up, and delivered a parting shot, “pyaar nahi karti toh farq bhi nahi padna chahiye ke woh kya bolega kya nahi.”
That evening when Sameer came to pick her up, she was almost ready to leave, and as he smiled at her, her spirts perked up. Anmol gestured towards her and then at Sameer, and she playfully stuck her tongue out at him. Sameer briefly chatted with her colleagues, and then sauntered up to her, “ready?” She nodded, picking up her purse, and he grabbed her tiffin bag, asking, “did you eat the fruits?”
“Haan”, she replied obediently, “tum juice laaye?”
He smiled, “yes… car me hai…”
They bought some vegetables on their way home, and she couldn’t help but smile each time he did some gestures that touched her heart. It seemed to be natural for him to keep her on the side of the road where there were less people and no cycles, to slide an arm around her to shield her, to keep a watch that she didn’t stumble. He kept encroaching on her personal space as he held her hand, guiding her to the vendor who sold fresh green vegetables, but still she didn’t mind at all. Her nose wrinkled as he picked up some spinach, and he chuckled, “tension mat lo… spinach rice bana dunga ya soup… tumhe achcha lagega.”
She inspected some cauliflower, “pehle tumne kaha tha ke bahot kam khana banana aata hai… Ab itne items kahan se aa gaye?”
He shrugged, “I am learning… for you…”
“Main pregnant hun isiliye”, she proded.
He smiled, choosing ripe red tomatoes, “sweetheart… tum kahogi toh puri life khana banake khilaunga… bas kabhi-kabhi tum mujhe mere favorite items banake khila dena…”
She was silent after that, but as they reached home, freshened up and he started to prepare dal for dinner, she managed to ask, “tumhare favorite items kya hai?”
A dazzling smile lit up his face, “aloo paratha… actually aloo ka bana hua sab pasand hai… Aur chole-puri… Gajar ka halwa… Pulao… Matar Paneer… Kheer… umm… cheeni wali roti bhi achchi lagti hai… Aur haan…”
“Bas bas”, she interrupted with a chuckle, “itna lamba list… mujhe laga ek-do item bologe…”
He continued chopping potatoes for the vegetable, and shrugged, “hostel me limited khana milta tha aur fixed menu… man ka mila nahi khane ko bachpan me… aur bada hua tabse kabhi kisine pucha nahi ke meri pasand kya hai… Yahan bhi Bhavna Tai apni marzi se jo banati thi kha leta tha…”
She kneaded the dough for paratha, and mused, “kitna ajeeb hai na… tumhare paas itne paise hai phir bhi tum apne man ka khana tak nahi kha paate.”
His tone was flat as he said, “kabhi khud ki life pe itna dhyan nahi diya… I was so trapped with everything that happened with me… Kabhi ruka nahi yeh sochne ke liye ke mujhe kya chahiye… ya mujhe kya karna chahiye… Jis din tum chodke chali gai aisa laga maano peechli zindagi kahin peeche chut gai… Aur aage aane wali zindagi ke liye mujhe theek se sochna hoga, khud ko badalna hoga, sahi raasta chunna hoga…” A long sigh escaped his lips, “paisa kuch nahi hota Naina… it’s just a medium… usse khushiyon ki guarantee nahi milti… Mere bade se bungalow me akele rehta tha, par yahan tumhare saath hun… yahan main khush hun…”
She scoffed, “bol toh aise rahe ho jaise tumhe tumhara bungalow pasand nahi…”
“Obviously pasand hai”, he accepted, “maine apne mehnat se usko banvaya hai… lekin agar option dogi ke wahan akele rehna hai puri life, ya yahan iss apartment me tumhare saath rehna hai puri life, toh main yahan rehna pasand karunga… It’s simple…”
Once more she felt like screaming that it was not simple… How could he be ready to give up his home that he had created with his hard-earned money? How could he leave his lavish lifestyle just to be with her? She asked, “itna asaan hai zindagi badalna?”
He added water to the vegetable, and covered it to let it simmer, “nahi… lekin woh sirf ek bungalow hai, aur tum mera sab kuch… Par phir bhi yeh ummeed hai dil me ke kisi din tum mere saath uss bungalow me chalogi aur usko apna bhi ghar maanogi.”
His statement instantly made her think of the night they had spent together… She had been awed by the size of the bungalow, though at that time she had thought it was his Nanaji who had got this for him… She clearly remembered the sofa and coffee table in living room, the brightly lit kitchen with big refrigerator… It was bit funny that they had spent the entire night in bedroom but still she had very vague recollection of the room… Maybe because she was totally focused on the man who was so intent on pleasuring her… He seemed to have only one goal from the time she had rejected his offer to back out… His mouth had kissed her senseless, his hands and lips had wandered to places on her body that she had never expected anyone to touch, his entire body had seemed to be singularly focused on her… His chest had brushed against her breasts, his legs had tangled with hers, his fingers had linked with hers or fisted in her hair… He had whispered her name while kissing her… He had groaned her name as he had joined her in pleasure… There had been moments when her name from his lips had almost felt like a reverence…
Next moment tears sprung in her eyes as she wondered how many women had lain beneath him and experienced the same things… How many names had he uttered like that in different tones…? Did he even remember the same things as she did? Did he think any of those moments to be important? He had shown her that he knew how to pleasure her, but in reality he simply knew how to pleasure women… His body that had moved against hers, must have moved in the same rhythm against other women’s bodies as well… The way he had cocooned her in his arms, some other women must have also been sheltered like that… How many of those women had seen the same dream as hers? How many hearts had he broken? How many women he had left alone in morning? Would she have met the same fate if she had actually been naïve enough to wait for him to wake up in morning? Would he have crushed her hopes and dreams by stating that whatever happened between them was normal for him and she shouldn’t expect anything? Was he here only because she was the only one unfortunate enough to be knocked up by him?
She felt a soft touch on her cheek, and looked up to see him wipe her tears with his thumb. He frowned, “what happened?”
There were so many thoughts and questions swirling around in her head that she couldn’t frame them… Instead she started feeling dizzy, and he instantly held her. Turning off the gas he picked her up, and walked to the bedroom, “kitchen me bahot garmi hai…”
She sniffed, “paratha banana hai.”
Placing her on the mattress, he instructed, “rest here… main paani leke aata hun… Parathe main bana lunga…”
She remained silent as he walked out and then came back with water. Sipping from the glass she queried, “tumhe paratha banana nahi aata na?”
He shrugged, “gol toh nahi hi banenge… India ka naksha ban jayega shayad, aur ho sakta hai thode se jal jaaye… manage kar logi na? Warna back-up me rice toh hai…”
A reluctant smile curved her lips, “main aati hun thodi der me…”
“Bilkul nahi”, he admonished, “chup-chaap rest karo… main dinner yahin le aaunga.”
She leaned back on the wall, holding the pillow on her lap, and closed her eyes. It amazed her that she had so many negative thoughts about him and yet she didn’t refrain from his care. She had been thinking such bad things, but still when he had lifted her in his arms, she had let him… If she hated him why didn’t she reject him? If she loved him then why did she have negative thoughts about him? Dr. Suchitra said that she should know more about him, take some steps to open up to him… Anmol advised her to talk to him about her questions… But how could she? She had no words to frame her questions… And every time she opened up to him she left her heart a bit more vulnerable…
Fifteen minutes later he came back with two dishes, and sat down cross-legged on the floor, perfectly comfortable to eat like that. She ate slowly, but her eyes kept straying to his profile several times. He was so handsome… But since few days, it wasn’t his physical features that she was noticing but more of his uncomplaining attitude. He silently bore everything without any complains and still somehow managed to find it in himself to care for her. Was his perception changing in her mind?
That night as she slept her mind was clouded with confusion as to what she should do next. However next morning something happened that made her extremely restless and furious… As he was taking bath his mobile rang… She didn’t know what to do, but as it rang the second time she peeked cautiously, and was perplexed on seeing the name – Suraj. Was it the same Suraj she knew? But how would Sameer know him? Immediately she recalled that Sameer had been there at Club Vortex… Was he a regular patron there? If he was, then he would surely know Suraj… Had Suraj helped Sameer in some way in finding her? If yes, then that would mean that Sameer knew about bua-dadi and had probably visited her as well… Her hands turned cold at that thought. Earlier there was no confirmation when they had talked, but any link with Suraj would mean that he surely knew of bua-dadi… She lifted the mobile, determined to answer if Suraj called again… But instead of a call, a message tone pinged, and on the home screen she was able to read the words – Thanks for the deposit of 10 lakhs. Receipt confirmed.
10 lakhs…! Why would Suraj thank Sameer for 10 lakhs? Did that mean Sameer paid money for information on her? Is that how he found her? Pay his way through… And then he dared to tell her that money isn’t important for him? How dare he try to use money for information on her? Wasn’t that a breach of her privacy? And how could Suraj accept money like this? Wasn’t Suraj supposed to be her friend? That’s why she didn’t trust anyone… No one remained true in relationships… Not family… Not friends…
A sound of door being unlocked alerted her, and she quickly kept his mobile down, scooting back to the kitchen. Sameer came out and asked, “mera mobile baj raha tha kya?”
She didn’t look at him, lest he notice the anger, and replied, “haan… do baar baja… maine nahi uthaya…”
He hung his wet towel, and then checked the phone… She glanced at him from the corner of her eyes noticing the small smile on his face, and then saw that he dialed some number… In a minute his voice could be heard, “hello… hi Suraj… sorry main nahane gaya tha…” He waited for some reply from the other end, and then said, “aree… chill man… there’s nothing to thank… glad you got the money. I will call you later…”
Naina packed her tiffin, and came to keep the bag from living room. Sameer was wearing his socks… After debating for a minute, she expressed in a musing tone, “mere ek friend ka naam bhi Suraj hai… you know… jis club me hum mile the… uska maalik hai…”
He stiffened for few seconds, but then took a deep breath and confessed, “yeh wahi Suraj tha… tumhara friend…”
“Oh”, she acted surprised, “tum jaante ho usko?”
He looked in at her face, “haan… tumhe dhundte hue mila tha…”
“I see”, she murmured, and then busied herself in other tasks, refraining from talking to him. He watched her for some time, unsure what to say or do, wondering if she would ask more questions. But she didn’t ask anything more…
After he dropped her to the library, he took a quick decision, and went to meet Suraj instead. He didn’t know if Naina would try to contact him, most likely she won’t, but still he couldn’t take that chance. He had to let Suraj know about the current situation, and hope he understood like before… As he drove to the club he wasn’t even sure if that was the right decision, but something prodded him to take that step and so he did… As a businessman he had learned to rely on his instincts more than his brain’s analysis, and this was one more time he was about to do the same.
Suraj was surprised when he received a call once more from Sameer, requesting for a meeting, and wondered what the matter was. Fifteen minutes later there was a knock on his cabin door, and Sameer walked in, a worried expression on his face.
Suraj stood up to shake his hand, “hi… what happened? Something wrong…”
Sameer took some time to sit down, and then said, “I found Naina…”
“Oh wow”, Suraj exclaimed, “that’s such good news… kahan hai woh? Kaisi hai?”
Taking a deep breath, Sameer informed, “theek hai… but… uhh… she is pregnant.”
There was a silence in the cabin for few minutes, and then Suraj stood up furiously pushing his chair back so hard that it hit against the wall. Sameer blinked in surprise, as Suraj came around the table and grabbed his collar, “what did you say? How dare you…?”
Suraj’s hand fisted in a punch that almost landed on Sameer’s face, but in a quick flash of reflex he grabbed the oncoming fist and thundered, “enough…” Sameer pushed Suraj back, standing up, his eyes glittering with rage, “what the hell is wrong with you?”
Suraj argued equally fiercely, “wrong? Tum puch rahe ho yeh? You just told me that… Naina… that she is pregnant… dammit… how could you do this to her? Ab woh kya karegi? Kahan jayegi? Aur tumhe toh koi farq bhi nahi pad raha hoga…”
“Right”, Sameer interrupted, his voice heavy with pain and anger as he continued, “Naina ke saath kya hota hai usse mujhe koi farq nahi padta isiliye main pagalo ki tarah usko dhund raha tha… Koi farq nahi padta isiliye main yahan tumse milne aaya tha, tumhe request karne ke uska address de do… Koi farq nahi padta isiliye jab woh uske bua-dadi ke ghar pe nahi mili phir bhi usko dhundta raha… Koi farq nahi padta isiliye main peechle dus dino se apna khud ka ghar chodke uske saath ek chote se apartment me reh raha hun, zameen pe so raha hun, khana bana raha hun… How dare you say that Suraj? Jisko dekho mujhe blame karne pe tula hai… Naina bhi… Koi samajh kyun nahi paata that I love her…”
His chest heaved, breath bellowing from his lungs, fists curled with rage and desperation… Suddenly tears sprung in his eyes, and a drop rolled down his right cheek, and his voice broke, “I love Naina…” He rubbed his palms over his face, dropping down on the chair, his shoulders slumping… “I love her”, he repeated, “par usko iss baat se farq nahi padta… usko mujhpe vishwaas nahi hai… lekin sab log milke bas mujhe blame karo…”
Suraj stood stumped at the outburst, watching as Sameer slumped helplessly on the chair, as if he was defeated by his own emotions. It took him some time to understand the whole conversation… Did Sameer just say that he loved Naina? Last time when they had met, he had been almost sure of Sameer’s affections… But now it was out in the open… And Naina… God… She was pregnant… But she didn’t trust Sameer? Why? Hadn’t they spent the night together? If she could trust him enough to take that step why couldn’t she trust his emotions? And the man before him – even though he called him Sameer, but he knew who he was… SJM… The great and ruthless businessman who, according to several articles, could bend any situation to his will. But right now, he didn’t seem to be a great unreachable personality; rather he seemed very much in need of support. Suraj didn’t know what exactly the matter with Naina was, but he knew in his heart that Sameer was not a villain in Naina’s life, and so he swallowed the dry lump in his throat and reached out to place a hand on his shoulder. Sameer jerked, raising his head quickly as if to defend himself again, and immediately Suraj said, “relax… I am not going to hit you…”
Sameer chuckled dryly, “ya… you already tried.”
“I am sorry”, Suraj gently apologized, and pulled up a chair to sit facing him, “maine bas pregnancy ka suna and automatically react kiya… It was just concern for a friend. I know you are not bad… Ek baat puchu?” Sameer nodded, and he asked, “what do you feel about Naina’s pregnancy?”
Sameer frowned for a moment as if he didn’t understand the question, and then replied indignantly, “yeh kaisa sawaal hai? Of course I am happy… I mean it was a shock at first, but then… how can I not be happy? I will be a father… Jisse main pyaar karta hun… the woman I love is going to be a mother of my child…” A smile curved his lips, as he continued, “God… Suraj… It is such an incredible feeling… Ek baar shock kam hua toh I just knew ke main kuch bhi karunga Naina ke liye aur hamare bachche ke liye… I love them both so much… Tumhe pata hai jaldi hi Naina ka sonography hone wala hai… I will be able to see our child…”
Suraj smiled, “tumhe pata hai na… pehle sonography me baby properly nahi dikhega… you can only see something like a small round shape…”
Sameer’s eyes widened in fascination, “really? Aisa hota hai…?”
Suraj nodded, “yes… kuch mahino baad shayad tumhe properly dikhe…”
Sameer thought for a minute, and then declared, “doesn’t matter… jaisa bhi dikhe, kamsekam dekh toh paunga… Aur Naina bhi kitni khush hogi…”
Suraj queried, “she is happy with this?”
“Bilkul”, Sameer assured confidently, “maine usko dhund nikala usse pehle bhi she was completely happy with the pregnancy… Woh toh single mom banne ke liye ready thi… I am so proud of her… Aise situations me usually ladkiya ghabra jaati hai… Ashray ke through kitne cases dekhe hai maine… But Naina is so different… Usne regular appointments fix kar li thi, financial planning shuru kar di thi… Honestly batau, main jitna usko pyaar karta hun, utna hi uski respect bhi karta hun… She is simply amazing…”
Suraj sat back in awe of the man before him, who had no hesitation in praising his woman, and declaring his love for her. He slowly prodded, “aur tum kya bol rahe the about Naina not trusting you? Meri samajh me nahi aaya theek se… Aur aaj aise mujhse milne aaye…”
The smile dropped off Sameer’s face, and he sighed, “she doesn’t trust the fact that I love her… Usko lagta hai ke ek raat me pyaar kaise ho sakta hai… Plus maine bahot stupid cheeze boli thi usko uss din nashe me aur usne uss basis pe mere character ka ek bahot hi zyada colorful sketch taiyar kar liya hai apne dimag me. I am trying so hard to make her believe in me… Lekin bahot tough hai… Aur kabhi-kabhi uski baate chubhti hai dil me… Usko lagta hai mere liye normal hai ladkiyo ke saath aise nights spend karna aur unko chod dena… Do you know, she even hinted ke ho sakta hai mere aur bhi kai bachche hai jinke baare me mujhe khabar nahi hai because I dumped those women…”
“Well… magazines me toh aisa kuch nahi hai”, Suraj pondered, “but then again… tumhare personal life ke baare me hardly kabhi kuch chapa hai papers me…”
Sameer nodded, “yes… I have a very strong PR team jo har information control karti hai… Meri personal life meri hai, no one has the right to dissect it over a cup of morning tea… Aur waise bhi meri asli zindagi itni rangeen nahi hai ke gossip karne me maza aaye.”
Suraj suggested, “toh tum usko apne baare me sab bata do…”
“Kaafi kuch bata chuka hun”, Sameer responded, “kuch khudse… aur kuch jab usne sawaal puche… but the only topic we haven’t discussed is my past relationships… mujhe samajh nahi aata ke kaise sab batau aur woh kabhi puchti nahi hai… bas assumptions bana rakhe hai…”
Suraj asked, “is there any way I can help?”
Sameer dragged a hand through his hair, “I don’t know… par aaj uska behavior thoda ajeeb laga… peechle ek-do dino se she was opening up slowly… aisa lag raha tha ke mujhe accept kar rahi hai… par… aaj usko pata chala ke main tumse baat kar raha tha phone pe, tabse uske expressions kuch ajeeb se hai… Mujhe nahi pata woh wapas se kya naya assumption bana rahi hai… mujhse usne kuch nahi pucha ke main tumse kya baat kar raha tha, kyun kar raha tha… I just told her ke usko dhundte hue tumse mulaqat hui thi meri. I am worried…”
After a brief moment of deliberation, Suraj queried, “tumhe lagta hai ke Naina mujhse contact karegi?”
Sameer shrugged helplessly, “pata nahi… usne apni purani zindagi se sab peeche chod diya hai… uss assumption se chalu toh she shouldn’t contact you… par phir aisa lag raha hai ke agar woh mujhse sawaal nahi puchegi toh kahin na kahin se toh jawaab dhundne ki koshish karegi na…”
“Tension mat lo”, Suraj assured, “agar Naina mujhe contact karti hai toh main dhyan se handle karunga cheeze. Can I tell her that I know about her pregnancy?”
Sameer thought for a minute, and then replied, “I guess yes… par dhyan se… aur zaroorat ho toh hi yeh baat laana saamne…”
Suraj nodded, “sure… I understand… let me know agar main kabhi bhi tumhari help kar saku toh…”
Sameer had thought that discussing the situation with Suraj would calm him, but that didn’t happen… Instead he kept feeling uneasy as if something big was about to happen and he had no idea how to prepare himself for it… This was no business deal, this was his personal life and more than that this was about Naina… He didn’t want any additional complication. Once in afternoon he thought to call at her library and enquire about her health, but then he avoided it as any anomaly would only end up troubling her more. However, that day he skipped going to bua-dadi’s home and instead drove to her library directly, somehow restless to meet her.
Naina wasn’t at her seat when he entered the library, and this immediately made him tense, but before he could panic Anmol told him that she was on the first floor, cleaning an old cupboard of books as she was bored. He sighed in relief, “main upar jaa sakta hun?”
“Of course”, Anmol grinned, “par dhyan se… aaj aisa lag raha tha madam ka mood thoda theek nahi hai.”
Poonam teased, “aapne toh kuch nahi kiya SJM?”
Sameer shook his head, “mujhe kuch karne ki zaroorat kahan hoti hai… woh toh waise bhi chidti rehti hai mujhpe.”
Ujwala atya smiled, “pregnancy me ladkiyo ko mood swings hote hai… handle karna seekh jao.”
Sameer nodded, moving up the stairs, thinking that if it was only mood swings then surely he would have managed to handle. He looked around in the aisles instead of calling out to her, and found her in the last one, in-front of a moldy wooden cupboard, trying hard to reach out to the top shelf. Unfortunately her height was too short for the ancient cupboard, and as he watched she tried to lift on her toes and then jump slightly… He forgot everything as he moved fast towards her, and held her waist from behind, “careful Naina…”
She gasped aloud, placing her hand on her thundering heart. “Aise haalat me kudna nahi chahiye tumhe”, he reprimanded in a light tone, “dhyan kahan hai tumhara?”
Turning to him, she looked at his face with wide frightened eyes, “main… main bhool gai… oh God… mera baby…” Her hands wrapped around her belly as if protecting the child. His gaze softened, and he slowly hugged her, “hamara baby Naina… Main kabhi kuch nahi hone dunga tumhe ya hamare baby ko… I will always protect you.”
She leaned on his chest, finding a familiar solace, and sniffed. In an attempt to calm her, he said, “you know… tumhe aise cupboard ke yahan dekhke mujhe school wale din yaad aa gaye… Ek baar aise hi tumhe library me dekha tha… Upar wali shelf se koi book nikaal ne ke liye tum kud rahi thi, aur main tumhare paas aaya tha… Tumhe woh book nikaalke di thi…”
She drew back and bit and again looked up, this time eyes wide in astonishment, “tumhe yaad hai?”
He chuckled, “haan… aur yeh bhi yaad hai ke maine tumse kaha tha – Naina… height choti ho toh kudne se zyada easy hoga chair pe chadke book utaarna.” She gaped at him for a moment, and then blushed, lowering her face… He grinned, “bas… perfect… aise hi sharma gai thi tum uss din bhi…” Cupping her face with one hand, he tilted her head back to look at her features… His eyes gleamed with several emotions, and his voice was merely a husky rasp as he said, “tumhe idea bhi nahi hai tum kitni khoobsurat ho… uss din library me bhi thodi der dekhta reh gaya tha… Par ab… Ab toh aisa lagta hai ke meri nazre tum pe se hatna hi nahi chahti.”
Her breath hitched, and her hands came up to rest on his chest… She gulped, her eyes turning most, as she longingly whispered, “Sameer…”
There was a perfectly still moment where his heart stopped beating at the yearning and longing he heard in her voice, and then it started to patter as fast as a galloping race horse. He stopped thinking… And the next thing he did was what his heart wanted… Dipping down he softly brushed his lips against hers, and then lifted his head to see… Her pupils dilated, her lips quivered, but she didn’t say anything, rather her hand clenched on his suit… Groaning softly, he leaned once more, and took her mouth in a soft kiss… She shivered in his hold, his thumb stroked the curve of her cheek, and his other hand gathered her close… A soft whimper escaped her lips, her hands moving up to his shoulders, and he tilted his head, deepening the kiss. His tongue stroked her mouth in the most intimate way; the hand on her cheek skimmed down rubbing gently at her throat, and then traced its way to her breast… His warm broad palm closed over her soft swell, and a satisfied groan rumbled at the back of his throat…
The sound however broke the spell that had surrounded her ever since he had recounted the memory of their school time… And she became instantly aware of the way he was kissing and touching her… The yearning inside her was replaced with an instant fury at his daring despite her being very clear about physical limits… She couldn’t analyze anything, and the insane impulse inside her made her pull back and in the same motion her hand raised, her palm landing sharply on his cheek… The sound of the slap echoed through the surroundings, and his head turned with the force of it…
He was frozen is shock, his eyes still closed from the time he was kissing her, his head turned to the side, his cheek stinging… It took him a full minute to realize that he had been slapped… Naina had slapped him… For kissing her? The injustice of it all shattered his heart, breaking his spirit to an extent that tears filled his eyes for the second time that day… There was a slight burning and trickling sensation near his cheekbone, and he slowly touched the spot with his finger, finding some liquid… Bringing his hand down he looked at his fingers, and a muscle clenched in his jaw on seeing the small amount of blood… Probably a scratch from her nails when she had slapped… He straightened to look at her face, unable to keep the hurt hidden, but his dismay increased on noticing the anger and disgust in her eyes… There was no shock or regret at what she had done; rather it was obvious that she thought he perfectly deserved it…
His throat moved up and down as he swallowed, and managed to croak, “thanks for the reminder… main bahar wait kar raha hun… Tumhara ho jaaye toh aa jaana… Aur please… don’t jump…”
He turned and walked away, down the staircase, through the ground floor… Anmol called out to him but he didn’t wait to listen… Once outside the big wooden doors, he sat down on the stairs, folded his arms on his knees and lowered his head to hide his face… He wished he hadn’t come here early… He wished he hadn’t touched her… He wished he hadn’t tried to calm her down by telling the school tale… He wished ardently that he hadn’t kissed her… A sob tore from his throat, tears spilled, and he struggled to find some sense in what happened inside… He knew he had crossed a boundary by kissing her like that… But she had responded, hadn’t she? He couldn’t possibly have mistaken the yearning in her voice. Would he be blamed for one more thing in her list now? He had somehow managed to control himself when he had held her naked in the bathroom… But today… He had been so tensed since morning, afraid that she was forming some presumptions in her mind that might hold back the progress he had made with her… And then when she had leaned on his chest, taken his name like that, he hadn’t been able to resist any longer… Would he ever be able to make her understand how much he loved her?
A hand on his shoulder alerted him of someone’s presence, and he also knew that it wasn’t Naina. He quickly wiped his eyes on his sleeve, and looked up to see who it was… Anmol stared at him puzzled for a moment, and then his eyes widened, as he whispered, “oh no…”
Sameer glanced away, not sure of what Anmol understood or what he should say. Anmol sat down next to him, “band-aid chahiye?”
Sameer realized that probably Anmol saw the small cut, and he took out his handkerchief wiping his cheek, “naah… it’s just a scratch…”
“Andar aake betho na”, Anmol offered, “yahan garmi lagegi…”
Sameer shook his head, “I am fine… mujhe andar nahi aana abhi… Naina ko bola hai ke uska kaam khatam ho jaaye toh woh bahar aa jaaye. Tum bhi jao… please…”
Anmol sighed, and stood up, debating for a moment, and then patted his back before leaving to go inside. He didn’t sit back at his place, rather climbed up the steps to the first floor, going straight to where Naina was cleaning. To his surprise, she was still at the task, calmly arranging the books back on the clean shelf as if nothing had happened. “Naina”, he called out, walking up to her, “what the hell are you doing?”
She frowned, “matlab? Tumhe pata toh hai ke main yeh cupboard saaf kar rahi hun…”
He closed one door of the cupboard, stopping her from continuing her work, “main iss cupboard ki baat nahi kar raha… Main Sameer ki baat kar raha hun…”
Her eyes narrowed, “I don’t understand… Agar usne tumse kuch kaha hai toh…”
“Shut up”, he interrupted, “Sameer didn’t tell me anything… Maine khud dekha uske gaal pe ungliyo ke nishaan aur khoon…” Naina remained silent, irking him even more, and he asked, “why?”
She shrugged as if unconcerned, and said, “maine pehle bhi kaha tha ke yeh hamara personal matter hai…”
“Oh yeah?” He sarcastically queried, “tumhe nahi lagta ke jab tum usko ek public place me jhapat maaro toh woh matter personal nahi rehta…?”
She looked mutinous, “mujhe guilty feel karwane ki koshish mat karo…”
He shook his head dejectedly, “main kaise tumhe guilty feel karwa sakta hun jab tumhe zara bhi afsos nahi hai…? I don’t understand Naina… maana tum dono ke beech me problems hai… but it is obvious that you care for him… Aur yeh bhi obvious hai that he cares for you… Chalo tum uske pyaar pe bharosa nahi karna chahti lekin yeh toh yaad hai na tumko ke woh itne dino se tumhare saath reh raha hai… Tumhe roz drop karne aur pick karne aata hai… Do you even know SJM Enterprise ka office kahan hai?”
She finally met his eyes, puzzled at the question. Anmol scoffed, “naturally tumne socha hi nahi hoga… SJM Enterprise is in Malad. Aur tum rehti ho Borivali West… Matlab Sameer ka office tumhare ghare se maximum adhe ghante ka drive hoga… Phir bhi woh roz subah 1.5 hours drive karke tumhe chodne aata hai aur utna hi drive karke office jaata hai… Phir wapas shaam ko itne traffic me tumhe lene aata hai…”
“Maine usse nahi kaha yeh karneko”, she argued.
Anmol immediately countered, “that’s the whole point… tumhare bina kahe, tumhare kuch bina maange woh itna kuch kar raha hai… tumhe kya lagta hai woh yeh sab sirf isiliye kar raha hai ke tum pregnant ho? Remember Naina… That’s the man about whom the entire media is unable to find any information… Aur agar information milti bhi hai toh publish nahi hoti… Iska matlab samajhti ho? He is powerful enough to control things in his own way… Uske man me koi aisa darr nahi hai ke tumhari pregnancy uske liye ya uske company ke liye koi negative baat hai… If he wants he can make sure ke agar tum chilla chillake bhi bolo na ke tumhare honewale bachche ka baap SJM hai phir bhi koi vishwaas nahi karega. Then what do you think is the reason ke woh tumhare liye itna kuch kar raha hai? What can be the reason ke tumse thappad khakar woh chup hai aur bahar akele bethke ro raha hai?”
Naina’s eyes widened and she felt her heart skip a beat at the information. Anmol tried to explain, “har insaan ke tolerance ki ek limit hoti hai Naina… Shayad Sameer ne galtiya ki hai… Lekin kisi bhi relationship me yeh baat nahi bhulni chahiye ke taali ek haath se nahi bajti… I am not saying ke tum ek single mom banke apne bachche ko achchi life nahi de paogi, but think about it… Is it fair to keep Sameer away from his own child? Is it fair for your baby to not have a father’s love? Aur usse pehle thodi der shanti se yeh socho ke aaj jo tumne kiya hai woh sahi tha ya galat… Don’t push Sameer to an extent ke woh tumse itna dur ho jaaye ke agar future me kabhi haath badhao toh bhi naa mile… Ladke kai mil jayenge tumhe life me, saathi baar-baar nahi milega… Sab kuch bikhar jaaye usse pehle sambhal jao…”
“He is waiting outside”, he informed in a soft tone and then left. Naina stood still for some time, and then her body shuddered as if she was cold… She leaned against the closed cupboard door, and slid down to the floor…
Hamara baby Naina… Main kabhi kuch nahi hone dunga tumhe ya hamare baby ko… I will always protect you.
Tears flowed from her eyes instantly as she recalled his statement… He had also complimented her, called her beautiful… But that somehow took a backseat for her in-front of the lifelong promise the other statement held. He had said he would protect her and the baby always… Wasn’t that what she would have expected from the father of her child? Attention… Care… Protection… That’s all that was needed and Sameer had given her all that from the day he had turned up at her doorstep. And she had slapped him? For kissing her? Yes, it was not what she had logically wanted… She had not wanted any physical relationship with him yet… But still… How could she slap him like that? And why hadn’t he said anything? She closed her eyes, and in that instant recalled the hurt she had seen in his eyes… Oh no… What should she do?
Apologize Naina…
Yes… For the first time in a very long time she agreed fully to her inner voice… She should apologize. Wiping her eyes, she stood up, and quickly stuffed the books in the cupboard, not bothering to arrange them. That can be done tomorrow… Right now, she needed to go downstairs as Sameer was waiting outside… She hurried to the stairs, lost in thoughts of what she would tell him, and suddenly her foot slipped… She tried to hold the railing, but couldn’t… She wanted to scream for help, but couldn’t… There was a fraction of a second in which her brain came up with the thought that if she fell she would lose her baby… Seconds stretched into eternity it seemed, and her body turned cold instantly as if her very life was being sucked out of her… However before she could hit the hard stairs, her body was held captive in what seemed like bars of steel, and then she was pulled up into a warm solid wall that seemed to shudder and rumble… Her brain and heart were disconnected from reality, and there was a layer of mist in-front of her eyes that prevented her from seeing anything… She still expected to fall and lose her life, her baby and a thought wracked her senses that it was her punishment for ill-treating Sameer…
“Naina”, Sameer called desperately, trying to get her to respond to him… He had received a phone call from Aman and it warranted his immediate attention… Hence he had decided to come back inside and call Naina to go home, so that he could go to office… But when he had entered in the library, his breath had almost stopped on seeing Naina hurry down the stairs… He had moved, propelled by some instinct, wanting to hold her, ask her to slow down… And then he had seen her foot slip… Her eyes wide with fear… Her mouth opened in a silent scream… He had thundered up the remaining stairs at a speed that would have surprised many, and had held her right on time, preventing the fall. But she was still stiff and scared, unresponsive to his calls.
Poonam came rushing up to them with a bottle of water and sprinkled some on Naina’s face. Anmol followed with a newspaper, as Ujwala Atya instructed to give her some air… Sameer held her close, rubbing her back, crooning is as gentle voice as he could, “Naina… sweetheart… talk to me…”
Her eyes flickered slowly, and she made a soft sound of distress in her throat, as if she was terrified. He tightened his hold on her, completely enveloping her in his arms, “it’s alright Naina… Kuch nahi hua tumhe… Hamara baby bhi bilkul theek hai… I am here… Talk to me sweetheart… main hun… tumhara Sameer…”
It seemed his voice finally reached her, because her hands rose to fist on his shirt at his back, and she slowly whispered, “Sameer…” She blinked, tilting her head back on his chest, her vision clearing to see his throat, his sharp jawline covered with the day’s stubble… His scent filled her nostrils calming her heartbeats… She felt the pressure of his hands wrapped around her, and she felt… she felt incredibly safe… Once more she closed her eyes, sinking into him, her body going limp and he gathered her in his arms. She felt herself being lifted, and didn’t resist because she knew it was him…
Sameer carried her down the stairs and placed her on an empty chair, but as he started to draw back she held on to his hand… He paused, gesturing Poonam to get the water and he helped her drink some. Pushing some loose strands of hair back from her face, he cupped her cheek, “Naina…”
She immediately tilted her head, rubbing her cheek on his palm, few drops of tears leaked from her eyes. “Hey”, he mumbled, crouching in-front of her, “ro kyun rahi ho? Sab theek hai…”
The scare of falling was mixed with her jumbled thoughts and her recollection of the slap… On top of that his care and concern even after her behavior made her chest constrict with strange emotions. She was unable to voice out her turbulent feelings, and at the same time she couldn’t help but think that if she can’t behave properly with him then she shouldn’t probably rely on him, but also she was unable to stop herself from seeking his warmth and care. Her voice was barely audible, but her eyes we full of tears as she pleaded, “mujhe ghar le chalo… please…”
He placed his hand on her forehead, probably checking for temperature, and then caught her palms in between his, rubbing them continuously. At first she didn’t realize why he was doing so, but then she heard a question from Poonam, “yeh itna kaanp kyun rahi hai?”
She was shivering?
Her brows furrowed in confusion as she looked at her hands trapped in between his larger ones… She couldn’t understand if she was shivering or not, but the sight once more gave her a sense of being protected. “Probably shock”, Sameer muttered, and keeping her palms secure in his one hand, he took out his mobile with his other hand. Naina watched him dial a number and then speak in just a few seconds, “hi… this is SJM… Can I please talk to Dr. Suchitra?”
There were a few moments of silence where he scanned her face, his lips set in a concerned frown, and then he spoke once more, “Hi Dr. Suchitra… SJM here. Kya aap do ghante me Naina ke ghar aa sakti hai? She almost fell down the stairs…” There was a pause, he closed his eyes, and stated, “no no… she didn’t fall… I got to her on time… par woh kaafi ghabrai hui hai… She is shivering badly… Main abhi usko library se ghar le jaa raha hun… I can bring her to the clinic if you want… but…” This time there was a longer pause as he heard, and then sighed in relief, “thank you doctor… We will be home in a couple of hours…”
Disconnecting the call he slid the mobile back in his pocket, and fed her more water, gently assuring, “don’t worry sweetheart…”
She wanted to tell him that she wasn’t worried because he was there, but once more words failed her. Poonam and Anmol helped pack her things… Ujwala Atya said that he should feed her something as soon as they reach home… Sameer thought for a moment, and then took his phone out once more, dialing another number, and spoke almost immediately, “Aman… Listen, I can’t come to office… Tum Naina ke ghar aa jao sab files leke… Aur mujhe tiffin bhi chahiye… something light… dal-chawal ya khichdi… less spice, less oil… Aur dahi bhi le aana… We will be home in two hours… Thoda urgent hai…” Suddenly his expressions turned thoughtful, then impatient, and he almost growled, “fine… get her too… do whatever you want… main bas office nahi aa raha…”
He smiled a bit at her, and his voice once more held the special crooning tone that he seemed to reserve for her, “c’mon sweetheart… let’s go home…”
Her eyes moved over his face, landing on the small scratch on his cheek and her eyes watered again. He slid one arm around her back and another beneath her legs, lifting her up… Immediately she looped her hands around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder, struggling not to bawl her eyes out. She had hurt him… Till date she had only said harsh words but today she had hit him… How could she do that? She had kissed him too, but she had conveniently forgotten about it and blamed him for crossing his limits. She hardly noticed the evening sun, the honking cars, Anmol following them with her purse and bag, or even the way some passerby stared at them… Her gaze was constantly focused on Sameer’s face, her heart filling with warmth at the generosity of the man who could find it in himself to care for her despite being unreasonably punished. In that moment she knew that she had fallen all over in love with Sameer Maheshwari… It didn’t matter what he felt about her… She knew that he was the only man in her life, and even if he didn’t stay with her, there wouldn’t be any other man who could take his place…
He settled her inside the car, made her wear the seatbelt, worried about her constant stare and silence. He had no idea what was going through in her mind… The only thing important right now for him was to get her home safely. He had nearly lost several years of his life on seeing Naina slip like that… It chilled him to the bones to think what could have happened if he hadn’t been going up to her at that exact moment. No one would have been able to reach her in time to save her and the baby… He had been seconds away from losing everything, and only when she had clutched onto him, whispering his name, had he been able to breathe normally again.
As they drove towards her home, she leaned back on the seat and closed her eyes, leaving him to his thoughts. He stopped midway at a shop and bought fresh orange juice, asking the man to squeeze it in-front of him… Waking her up, he gave her the glass asking her to finish it up… She obeyed without any arguments. Once they reached her apartment, he guided her in, holding her hand and she once more didn’t object making him frown. He couldn’t understand if she was still frightened or not… She seemed extraordinarily calm and it worried him…
Fifteen minutes later when they had freshened up a bit, the doorbell rang, and Sameer opened the door to Aman and Kashish… He smiled letting them in… Both his employees looked around the place with curiosity while Naina sat on the chair watching them with equal inquisitiveness. The man, whom Sameer called Aman, was dressed in a black trouser with a green-white striped shirt. But what caught her eyes was the woman who was wearing a brilliant turquoise silk top with copper colored pencil skirt and stylish beige pumps. Sameer greeted her as well, “hi Kashish… sorry you had to come here…”
Kashish blessed him with a dazzling smile, “it’s absolutely alright sir… glad to help…”
Sorry you had to come here…
Naina gripped the chair tight, the serenity inside her once more slowly being replaced with anger. It pricked her that Sameer apologized for calling his employees here… And why was he even apologizing? Was it because the apartment was so small? Or was it because he called such a beautiful woman in such a shabby place? And who was this woman? Aman, she knew, was his personal assistant. Suddenly she recalled her own theory about Sameer having an assistant as well as a secretary, making it possible for him to have a male assistant for all the work, and female secretary for… She trailed off in her thoughts, moving her eyes up and down the woman… Kashish… That’s what he had called her… Such stylish and sensuous name… Just like her personality… Kashish was tall, about 5’5’’, had a polished dressing sense, her hair styled in a sophisticated bun, proper make-up in place… Even her nails were perfectly shaped and polished a deep maroon… Kashish was the opposite of her… And suddenly it seemed to be no wonder that Sameer was so warm to her, or that she was smiling so much at him…
Sameer glanced back at the living room, her eyes landing on Naina who seemed to be scrutinizing Kashish. He smiled at her, “Naina… Dr. Suchitra aati hi hogi… Why don’t you go inside and take some rest? Mujhe office ka thoda kaam hai…”
Naina’s eyes narrowed for a moment, moving between him and Kashish, and then she nodded tersely before leaving to go to the bedroom. Sameer sighed, unable to understand the reason of the change in her expressions… Just then Kashish suggested, “I guess madam didn’t like us coming here…”
Sameer shook his head, “nothing like that… we just had a bad day… please come in… sit…”
As Aman and Kashish sat on the chairs, Sameer set a saucepan on gas to make tea, and then grabbed the small wooden stool to sit and look at the files. The recent export deal that he had finalized with Kashish needed urgent attention as the other company wanted to launch a new line on Christmas and New Year. It was an unusual demand, but he didn’t want to put the deal in jeopardy by refusing, and hence he wanted to take a bit of time today to make a decision. Aman had come up with a copy with all the upcoming consignments and launches, not that he didn’t know them already, but he never relied only on memory when it came to business. Kashish, being the design head, was needed to confirm if something this large scale was even possible… Just as the tea came to boil, there was another ring, and Sameer hurried to open the door.
Dr. Suchitra smiled at him, “hello… Sorry I am bit late… What happened?”
Sameer let her in, and informed about what had happened in the library, “I am so worried. She was shivering continuously. I have given her orange juice on the way back home… But she still isn’t talking… I am not sure if it is because she is still in shock or simply because she is mad at me for some reason.”
Suchitra patted his arm sympathetically, “don’t worry… let me look at her… andar hai?”
He nodded, guiding her inside the bedroom… Naina was leaning back against the wall, her eyes closed, and he called out softly, “Naina… sweetheart… Dr. Suchitra aaye hai…”
She opened her eyes, looking at Sameer for a moment, before shifting her gaze to the doctor and smiled softly, “hello doctor…”
“Hi Naina”, Suchitra chirped, sitting down on the mattress, “how are you feeling?”
Naina sighed, “better… I was scared.”
“Naturally”, Suchitra calmly stated, “lao… let me check your pulse.”
Sameer cleared his throat, “main chai leke aata hun… Naina, tum chai logi ya kuch khane ko du…”
Naina didn’t quite meet his eyes as she replied, “kuch kha lungi baad me… chai nahi peeni mujhe…”
Sameer nodded and went outside… Suchitra subtly prodded, “it’s fortunate ke tum girne wali thi tabhi Sameer kareeb tha…”
Naina’s eyes softened a bit as she recalled the way he had held her secure in his arms, “haan… I was lucky…”
“He was too”, Suchitra added, “tumhe kuch ho jaata toh woh bhi jee nahi paata.” Naina looked puzzled at this, and Suchitra chuckled, “don’t tell me that you still can’t understand how much he loves you.”
Before Naina could say anything, Sameer came in with two cups of tea, two glasses of water, and dish of biscuits. He kept them down, “I am sorry… kuch bana nahi paaya isiliye sirf biscuits laaya… Mere office me kuch emergency hai, toh I just need to talk to my staff… How’s Naina?”
Suchitra closed her kit, “she is fine… bas shock ki wajah se shiver kar rahi hogi… Main do tablets de rahi hun, dinner ke baad usko de dena…”
“Thank God”, he fervently said, “aap chai pijiye aur baate kijiye… Naina, ek cup tumhare liye bhi laaya hun in case tumhe peene ka man ho toh, warna rehne dena…”
Suchitra drank a glass of water, and then picked up a cup of tea, sniffing at the aroma, “wow… it smells so good.”
Naina couldn’t help but smile, “yes it does… jab Sameer chai banata hai tabhi main pee paati hun… Warna smell se hi ulti ho jaati hai…”
“Mujhe nahi pata tha ke SJM ko chai banana bhi aata hai”, Suchitra commented.
Naina debated for a moment, but then picked up the cup of tea and a biscuit, “sirf chai nahi… kaafi kuch bana leta hai… Roz subah breakfast banata hai… Lunch banane me meri help karta hai… Aur dinner me bhi…”
Suchita was surprised, “interesting… I remember you told me during our session… Par sirf sunna aur actually me SJM ke haath ki bani hui chai peena bahot alag baat hai.”
Naina chuckled, “sab log usko itna bada bana dete hai… as if he is larger than life… par… woh sirf Sameer hai…”
“For you”, Suchitra promptly countered, “sirf tumhare liye woh Sameer hai… Baaki duniya ke liye he is SJM… Usse milne ka appointment milna bhi difficult hai… Jab woh mere office aaya tha apne friend ke mom ke reports dikhane I had no idea who I was talking to… It was only later that night that I got to know…”
Curiously Naina asked, “later? Matlab?
“Tum bhaag gai uske baad SJM wapas aaya tha, tumhare baare me puchne”, Suchitra informed, “lekin ultimately ended up helping me and my patient.”
Naina queried, “kaisi help?”
Suchitra shook her head, “I am sorry… Patient confidentiality… main nahi bata sakti… Tum Sameer se puch lena… personal basis pe woh bata sakta hai… I can only tell that his help was much appreciated.”
Naina was silent for a minute, and then asked, “what do you think of the woman outside?”
Suchitra carefully replied, “Sameer ne kaha staff hai…”
Naina nodded, “lekin kitni khoobsurat hai…”
“I guess”, Suchitra shrugged, “Sameer jis industry me hai usme toh uske aas paas kaafi khoobsurat ladkiya rehti hogi…”
Naina sipped her tea, and said in a musing tone, “he apologized to her… kaha – sorry you had to come here… Ghar chota hai isiliye shayad…”
Suchitra knew she had to tread carefully here to deal with her fears and insecurities, “aisa bhi toh ho sakta hai ke office jaane ke jagah usne unn dono ko yahan bulaya isiliye apologize kiya.”
Naina queried back, “toh dono se karna chahiye na… sirf Kashish se kyun?”
“Ask him”, Suchitra suggested. Naina remained silent, and so Suchitra added, “see Naina… mujhe dikh raha hai ke tumne kuch toh aisa experience kiya hai ya realize kiya hai jisse you are bit more responsive towards Sameer… What he does, what he says is affecting you… Relationship me clearly baat kar lena bahot zaroori hota hai… Misunderstanding badhegi toh dono ko chot pahochegi… Just talk to him once…”
Naina didn’t commit, but said, “koshish karungi.”
“Good”, Suchitra smiled, “don’t worry… sab theek hi hoga… Mujhe chalna chahiye ab…”
Suchitra talked to Sameer for some time, assuring him that everything was alright with Naina, and then she left. He checked on Naina once, saying that needed some time to quickly discuss and then they would have dinner. “Agar koi bahot private baat na ho toh kya door khula rehne doge?” She queried, “mujhe akele nahi rehna.”
He smiled, “tumse kuch chupaunga nahi kabhi Naina… agar tumhara man ho toh bahar aake bhi beth sakti ho.”
That sentence made her calm down a bit, “thanks… main yahin theek hun… bahar itni jagah nahi hogi, aur tumhe disturb hoga kaam me.”
“Just give me 15-20 minutes”, he said and left.
Naina could hear drifts of conversation, and noted that Kashish was talking more about design and ideas while Aman talked more about coordination and technical stuff. Sameer somehow managed to cover all the areas which surprised her, as she hadn’t thought that he would be so much involved in every decision. “Kashish”, his voice rang out bit irritated, “sorry but… these designs are not good enough for an international collection. Hume absolutely sure hona padega tabhi main haan bol paunga… I don’t want a situation ke humne haan bol diya aur phir designs ke ideas soch rahe hai… Think of a unique concept.”
Kashish replied something which wasn’t completely audible, but Naina gathered she was talking about some meeting tomorrow morning. Aman pitched in with suggestions of shifting other meetings to accommodate this new need. Another ten minutes later Sameer wrapped up the discussions, stating, “that’s it… think about this aur kal baat karte hai… if we have a good idea on table we will pull this through. Abhi ghar jao… it’s late…”
Aman stood up, “thank you sir… tiffin me sab kuch hai… Aur kuch chahiye hoga toh mujhe phone kar dena…”
“I am sure it would be enough”, Sameer assured.
Kashish hesitated for a moment, and then asked, “sir… agar aapko koi problem nahi ho toh, can I speak to Ms. Naina for a minute?”
Sameer frowned, “why?”
“Just like that”, Kashish shrugged, “bas health ka puchungi… you know… woman stuff.”
After thinking for a moment, Sameer nodded, “fine…”
Naina had heard some bits of the conversation, and suddenly her body stiffened in apprehension. Why did this Kashish want to talk to her? Was she going to tell her about her interest in Sameer? Or tell her that she didn’t deserve a man like him? Or warn her to stay away from him? Kashish seemed to be harmless enough when she was talking about design ideas to Sameer, but this sudden request to meet her was odd. As the woman entered inside the bedroom, Naina could hear low voice of conversations from outside, and also some sounds of vessels. Maybe Sameer was in the kitchen to heat up dinner, and Aman was with him…
Kashish came up near the mattress and smiled, “hi there… Main yahan beth sakti hun?” Naina observed her for a minute before slowly nodding. Kashish sat down gingerly, folding her legs on one side given she was wearing a skirt, and then asked, “how are you feeling now?”
Naina shrugged, “fine, I guess.”
Kashish rummaged in her purse and pulled out a red envelope, “actually… uh… I wanted to give this to you.”
Naina frowned, “what’s that?”
“My wedding card”, Kashish informed blushing slightly, and then hastily clarified, “waise toh main yeh SJM ko deti par ab aap bhi hai toh I thought dono ko invite karu…”
Naina accepted the card, a surprised expression on her face, “you are getting married?”
Kashish happily nodded, “yes… Christmas ke din… 25th December. Mere fiancé, Hiten… He also works in SJM… Par accounts department me… Aur main design head hun…”
Naina kept her eyes on the red card, and blurted, “pehle mujhe laga tha ke aap Sameer ki secretary hai…”
This time Kashish laughed, “oh my… bilkul nahi… Sir ki alag se koi secretary nahi hai… Sirf ek personal assistant hai, all-rounder Aman… In fact, SJM was so fed up of the female assistants that were hired for him, that he fired all of them and decided to have a male staff instead.”
Naina’s eyes windened in astonishment at this bit of information, “matlab? Why was he fed up?”
Kashish waved her hand with an air of nonchalance, “oh the usual you know… I mean… SJM is popular and, I have to say, extremely good looking… So, these female assistants thought that if he gets trapped in their charms then it would be easy way for them in the organization… filmy stuff… boss and secretary ka affair, aur suddenly secretary becomes the most important person in company.”
Naina’s eyes glittered with something like possessiveness, “they tried to trap Sameer…?”
Kashish nodded, “haan wahi purane tareeke… kareeb jaana… short skirts pehenna…” Rolling her eyes she continued with glee, “but they wouldn’t have done that if they knew SJM… Unme se ek ki bhi job teen mahine bhi nahi teeki… After three female assistants, SJM instructed the HR department to hire a male instead… Totally unusual… Pehle toh laga ke koi milega hi nahi… Surprisingly a few guys turned up, because working with SJM is always a good opportunity, and Aman was chosen. Since then Aman has stuck in the job successfully, and he is really good at it… Hamare office me sab bolte hai ke Aman aur SJM ki tuning itni achchi hai ke if Aman was a woman toh pakka yeh dono couple hote.”
Naina blinked a couple of times before a giggle spurted out of her and then she laughed aloud… Even Kashish joined her… There was sound of footsteps and then Sameer peeked in, looking at both the ladies in astonishment, “what’s happening here?”
“Girl talk sir”, Kashish replied chortling.
Sameer was amused, and his heart skipped beats on seeing Naina happily laughing, but still he asked, “tum theek ho?”
Naina nodded, “of course… don’t worry…” Sameer smiled at her, and then left to go back to the kitchen. Looking at Kashish, she genuinely said, “thank you… mujhe yeh sab batane ke liye. SJM Enterprise me bahot ladkiya hai kya?”
Kashish replied in positive, “haan… fashion firm hai toh it is bit obvious ke female staff zyada hai… Aur models usually contract basis pe hoti hai… But you know, personally kahu toh I feel so lucky and blessed to be working there.”
Naina queried, “kyun? Badi company hai isiliye?”
Kashish shook her head, “nahi… badi companies toh bahot mil jayegi Mumbai me… Par SJM me I feel valued… It is so difficult to find a workplace jahan females ko discriminate nahi kiya jaata, unhe equal respect diya jaata hai, and most importantly we are allowed to perform and grow without being the subject of jealousy or corporate games… SJM… I mean sir… he is incredible… He treats us equally but also understands ke kuch areas me female staff ki requirements alag hogi, for example, late meetings ke liye car, additional paid maternity leaves, separate break room for ladies… He is even planning to start a crèche from next year, taaki jin ladies ke bachche chote hai they don’t have to leave them with nanny… Instead they can bring them to work where there will be staff to look after them, while they work… It will be such a relief… In fact Decemeber me jo year end event hota hai hamara, iss baar sir deciced to invite not just the staff but the whole family, aur bachcho ke liye alag se play area hoga… Teen mahine pehle hi yeh announcement kiya unhone, and most of us are thrilled, kyunki kaafi baar hamare liye event me late tak rukna difficult ho jaata tha from a safety perspective. Aur gharwale bhi chinta karte the…”
Naina was pleasantly surprised at all this… Three months before meant that she hadn’t even met Sameer then, and it made her realize that all these generous admirable characteristics that she was noticing in him was not an effect of his recent “falling in love” tale, but rather something he had from before the time they had even met… Had he always been like this? If yes, then she was probably very far off the mark in regards to his character assessment.
On seeing her silence, Kashish softly said, “actually you know… main aapse baat karna chahti thi kyunki jab main aai tab I noticed ke shayad aapne mujhe sirf sir ka secretary nahi samjha, par kuch aur bhi samjha…”
Naina looked at her in shock for a moment, and then bit her lip, glancing away, “I am sorry… I shouldn’t have…”
“It’s alright”, Kashish assured, “it’s just that… main modern kapde pehenti hun aur make-up lagati hun toh it doesn’t mean that I am out to trap a man. And SJM… I mean, I really respect him a lot… And I feel comfortable talking to him because he treats me with equal respect. I don’t even know aap sir ko kabse jaanti hai… In fact mujhe toh aaj hi pata chala aapke baare me, aur sirf itna hi ke Sir loves you and that you are pregnant… Par phir bhi I didn’t judge you about anything… Aur mujhe thoda bura laga when you looked at me like that… It’s not fair… Sir ko judge karna bhi, aur kisi bhi dusri ladki ko bhi…”
Naina gulped, “I am really sorry… mujhe aisa nahi karna chahiye tha…” Kashish nodded, smiling at her. She returned the smile, and then asked, “aapko kaise pata chala mere baare me?”
“Aman se”, Kashish replied, “actually Aman told me ke sir ne use bataya tha aapke baare me because he needed someone to cover of him… Naturally aap pregnant hai toh sir late tak office me kaam nahi karenge, and he also needed to leave early to pick you up from your office. Toh isiliye unhone Aman ko bataya tha, aur strictly kaha bhi tha ke kisi aur ko naa bataye… Lekin aaj aisa situation aa gaya suddenly ke yeh meeting ke liye mujhe sir se milna hi tha, isiliye Aman told me about you and warned ke main kisi aur ko naa batau… And you don’t worry… Main sach me kisiko nahi bataungi, Hiten ko bhi nahi…”
Naina nodded, “thank you…”
Kashish patted her leg, “anyways… I should go now… bahot der ho gai hai… Aap log kha lena… Aman ke ghar se dal-chawal-sabji aayi hai… Aur mere ghar se roti, bharva baingan aur suji ka halwa… I hope you like it…” She took out a visiting card, “isme mera number hai… kabhi bhi kuch bhi zaroorat ho just give me a call… especially when you are bored with SJM and want to have some girly talks… okay?”
Naina grinned, accepting the card, “okay… thanks once again… bahot achcha laga aapse baat karke.”
“Thank God”, Kashish sighed exaggeratedly, “Hiten toh abhi se kehte ke main sar khati hun unka… chalo koi toh mila jisse baat kar saku.”
Naina laughed softly, “all the best for your wedding… Congratulations.”
Kashish stood up, picking up her purse, “thank you… lekin shaadi me khud aake congratulate karna hum dono ko.”
“I will try my best”, Naina assured wholeheartedly.
Kashish nodded, “take care… bye.”
Five minutes later, from the sound of closing door and goodbyes, she knew that both Kashish and Aman had left. She had a lot to think of, but she was also very hungry… As if right on cue, Sameer walked in, “Naina… yahan khana lau? Ke bahar aake khana hai?”
She straightened up, “bahar…” As she tried to stand up, he was immediately there to help her, and she held his hand willingly taking the support offered. She settled on one of the chairs, and he brough in dishes from the kitchen in which he had already served the food. There was roti and bharva baingan like Kashish had told her, and then dal-rice along with aloo-bhindi dry vegetable. Fresh sliced tomatoes sprinkled with salt were on another dish, and she guessed Sameer had cut it. She wrinkled her nose, and pushed her dish aside, “please yeh baingan le lo na mere dish se…”
He glanced at her, and immediately scooped off the brinjal from her dish onto his and wiped the part clean with his chapati. She sighed in relief… He asked, “kya hua? Baingan pasand nahi?”
She pouted, “bahot pasand tha pehle… par jab se pregnant hui hun nahi kha paa rahi…”
“Mujhe bhi zyada pasand nahi baingan”, he informed.
She gasped, “dekha… yeh sab tumhari wajah se ho raha hai…”
Perplexed at the accusation, he asked, “kya?”
She pointed a condemning finger at him, “haan… tumhe baingan pasand nahi toh main bhi kha nahi paa rahi… Aur mujhe aloo bilkul pasand nahi the, par ab dekho… Roz aloo kha sakti hun… Tumhara favorite hai aloo isiliye aisa hua…”
He gaped at her for a moment, and then unable to refute her logic he grinned, “oh wow… matlab hamare baby ki choices mere jaisi hai…”
She glared at him, “zyada khush hone ki zaroorat nahi hai… Aloo kha khake main moti ho jaungi.”
He chuckled, tearing off a bit of plain roti and scooped some aloo from the dry sabji, lifting the morsel to her mouth to feed her, “chalega… I don’t mind…”
She accepted the food as if it was natural for him to feed her, and mumbled, “don’t mind toh aise bol rahe ho jaise figure se koi farq hi nahi padta…”
He laughed, “I will still love you Naina… always… figure thoda upar-neeche hone se pyaar kam nahi hoga.”
She looked at him in surprise, blushing slightly, and smiled a bit, “khana kha lo…”
Together they ate the food, and then Sameer gave her the medicines. She tried to read a book while he started to work on the files again, but the medicines made her drowsy and so she went to sleep. Sameer continued to work till around midnight, and then laid out the sheet on the floor… After a quick trip to the bathroom, he grabbed the cushion and was about to lie down when he heard sobbing sounds. At once he knew it was Naina, and worried that she was facing another bout of her nightmares he quickly rushed inside.
Naina was sleeping on the mattress like every night, but she was also sobbing loudly. Unknown to Sameer she was in her own land of dreams where nightmares had started to interrupt. Like every night her dreams started off in a pleasant way where Sameer wrapped his arms around her, proceeded to kiss her cheek asking her to sleep. But a minute later he again spoke to her, telling her that he loved her and asked why she slapped him like that… what was the reason to hurt him so much… He asked her if she didn’t love him… But she was tongue tied, and taking that as a no, he stopped hugging her, moved away from her and said that he should leave then. She started crying, feeling utterly helpless because she opened her mouth to stop him but it seemed her voice didn’t reach him… He just kept walking away from her and disappeared into the darkness.
Don’t push Sameer to an extent ke woh tumse itna dur ho jaaye ke agar future me kabhi haath badhao toh bhi naa mile…
In her dream she remembered Anmol’s words and suddenly he was there on her side, telling her that he had warned her before. She demanded and pleaded to bring Sameer back, but Anmol said that he couldn’t do it… Sameer was gone…
Sameer was gone…
The statement slashed her heart into two… Her sobs escalated and that was how Sameer found her… He immediately sat next to her, trying to lift her up to hug her… She came up as easily as if she was a doll, but her crying didn’t stop… He couldn’t understand what memory in her past was so painful that tore such heartwrenching sounds from her even in sleep. He tried to wake her up, “Naina… utho… wake up sweetheart…”
She mumbled in her sleep, “please… wapas aa jao… mat jao… please…”
He had no idea who she was pleading to… Was it her family? He kept trying to wake her up, repeatedly calling out to her, wiping her tears in a futile attempt as more tears made their way down her cheek. Almost ten minutes later it seemed as if she heard him, because her eyes flickered open, and she looked up at him blearily. “Naina”, he called out softly, hoping he wouldn’t startle her.
She took a deep breath and whispered, “Sameer?”
He nodded, “haan… main hun…”
She lifted her hand, her fingers skimming his jaw, as if ensuring it was indeed him, “tum… tum aa gaye…”
He didn’t understand why she was speaking like this, but replied, “main toh yahin tha Naina…”
Her brows furrowed, and lips pouted, “toh phir itna dur kyun gaye the?”
Was she calling out for him in her sleep? Did she dream about him?
His heart thudded as his mind raced with questions. He gulped once before replying, “main living room me kaam kar raha tha na…”
She hummed, closing her eyes, nuzzling against his chest as if she was prepared to fall asleep again. He held her for sometime, astonished at how she didn’t object to his hug, and at the same time wondering if he should draw back now. The evening slap was still fresh in his mind and he didn’t want her to think that he was an opportunistic jerk. Maybe once she is out of the effect of whatever nightmare she was having, she would again misunderstand him and blame him. After few minutes of deliberation, he tried to make her sleep properly on the mattress, but was unable to separate himself from her as she had held on tight to his t-shirt. He tried to pry her hand away, but that seemed to disturb her and she whimpered in protest, “nahi…”
He stilled, biting his lip, his mind in dilemma over what he should do. But before he could decide anything, Naina resolved his problem as she turned over to his side and grabbed his arm with her other hand. So now his hand and his t-shirt both were in her grip and there was no way he could get up without disturbing her sleep. He sighed, moving his legs down to the floor, and keeping his upper body on the mattress. It was an awkward position, but he had no choice left because neither could he leave her nor could he risk another misunderstanding.
Naturally he couldn’t fall asleep… He kept dozing and waking up with a start repeatedly… After an hour, there were sounds of crying once more, and he could feel her tears on his hand. He immediately woke up, alarmed at her distress… She had one hand on her belly, and as he watched she left his arm and turned over to the other side.
“Nahi”, she pleaded, “meri koi galti nahi hai… mera baby… please…”
He sat up, touching her shoulder to shake her awake. Her pain hurt him as he had no idea what she was dreaming about and how to heal it. He stroked her hair, soothingly muttering in her ear, praying she would wake up soon.
Naina meanwhile was in a horrific dream where she was once more dealing with her family alone, facing accusations after accusations abut how cursed she was, how she was a shame to the family, how she would never be happy, how her baby was unfortunate to have her as the mother… She heard her child being called illegitimate, a result of sin, a sign of scandalous fling… She bore the allegations of being a tainted woman as she had slept with a man without marriage… She heard someone suggesting that she should get rid of the baby as she was incapable of bringing happiness in anyones life, and she would destroy the child’s future as well if she gave birth to it… She kept pleading in her dream, and aloud as well, crying for herself, for her child… She couldn’t understand why Sameer was not there with her… And then she remembered how she had slapped him and pushed him away from herself… She recollected wishing that he wasn’t there in her life… And more tears made their way down her cheeks…
Sameer, once more, held her in his arms, scared at the way she was crying loudly, her body was shaking, and she kept muttering incoherent statements in which he could only catch few words like baby, no, mera hai, sorry, nahin… He had never felt so helpless in life… Somehow he managed to pull her out of the clutches of her nightmare, and assured her of his presence, hugged her tight, rubbed her back until she fell asleep again. This time he gave up all thoughts about misunderstanding or confusion, he just knew it in every fibre of his being that tonight he couldn’t leave her alone. He kept her in his embrace as he tilted back on the mattress, using the single pillow himself while letting her sleep on his chest; slowly his own heartbeat calmed down and he fell asleep…. But that was only for some time… That night Naina kept waking up repeatedly, extremely disturbed by her nightmares, and each time Sameer would jerk awake finding her sobbing and pleading. Every single time, he held her close, assured her repeatedly that he was there, told her that she was alright and the baby was safe…
As the night went by, the sky outside brightened with pink and blue hues, the alarm rang but none of them heard it that morning. Few early birds settled on the window sill, chirping merrily, and Naina stirred. She tried to move her hand but couldn’t, and frowned upon finding herself being restricted. Her eyes blinked open, and at first all she saw was blue… She wondered what was it… Her bedsheet was printed floral pastel shades, and the sheet she used as cover was green, so ideally there shouldn’t be any blue… It took her a minute to realize that the blue was a t-shirt sleeve, and she could also see the bulge of biceps it strained over… Another minute passed by before she understood that the t-shirt and bicep belonged to Sameer, who was sleeping on her mattress and had her enfolded in his arms. To her own astonishment, the immediate sensation she felt was relief, instead of irritation or anger… And then as another bird chirped outside she remembered yesterday’s events and then her nightmares that were still fresh, and along with that was the memory of Sameer holding her, soothing her, crooning to her in a soft voice, assuring that he was there… Each time she had woken up with the dread of being left alone, he had been there to comfort her with his presence and warmth. She lifted her head up a bit to look at his face… He had a frown on his lips, lines on his forehead, and dark circles beneath his eyes… A result of being awake almost the entire night, a repercussion of leading a hard life since the time he had shifted here, a consequence of the odd hours he had started waking up at just to ease her life… A small smile curved her lips, as she gave in to her heart and dropped her head back on his chest…
The movement and impact woke him up, and he mumbled something, tried to turn over but then his eyes snapped open… “Naina”, he called out almost instantly, afraid she had had another bout of nightmares. She hummed, lifting her head once more to look at him. He blinked, trying to check her face… Slowly he realized that she wasn’t crying or struggling… Rather she was awake and was looking up at him solemnly… His heart thudded in mild panic… His arms loosened from around her, and he swallowed repeatedly… Trying to move away from her, he muttered, “I am sorry… main yahan… woh actually…”
She grabbed onto his arm, stopping him from moving back… Her heart ached at the way he feared that she would blame him… And why not? Hadn’t she done just that from the time he had come to stay? She looked in his eyes, “mujhe yaad hai tum yahan kyun ho… relax…”
He sighed in relief, but still stayed up on his elbows, “umm… mujhe uthna chahiye… breakfast banana hai… pata nahi alarm kyun nahi baja… der ho jayegi ab… tumhe library…”
She placed her palm over his mouth to shut him up, and his eyes widened as he looked at her. Taking a deep breath, she requested, “thodi der yahin raho… aur packet me se ek biscuit do… warna aaj tumpe ulti kar dungi…”
He felt around with his hand, grabbed the packet lying beside the mattress, and took out a saltine cracker, handing it over to her. “Let jao”, she commanded, taking the cracker from his hand. Tentatively he did as she asked, not sure why she had stopped him… Maybe it was because if he moved suddenly it would cause her to move too, and that motion would make her sick… He didn’t have much idea what could trigger morning sickness and so he stayed as still as he could. To his immense surprise, Naina once more kept her head on his chest as she licked the salt from the top of biscuit and then nibbled on it… Five minutes later when she finished it, he asked, “done?”
She scrunched her nose, and nodded, looking at him once more. All he wanted in that moment was to hold her and sleep again, but the reality of his life was far from the dreams he had. And so he tried to get up again, only to be once more held down, this time with her hands on his chest as she lifted her upper body, hovering over him to look down at him. He gazed into her eyes, losing words momentarily because right then, that moment seemed extremely intimate… Her eyes roved over his features, settling on his cheek on which she had slapped, and she lifted one finger, tracing it on the small scratch. He was surprised by her action, and couldn’t stop himself from asking, “kya kar rahi ho?”
She looked in his eyes for a moment, before again focusing on his cheek, and queried, “dard ho raha hai na?”
“Nahi”, he assured, “choti si kharoch hai bas…”
A sad smile curved her lips, “mera matlab iss chot se nahi tha Sameer… kal… maine jo kiya… I don’t know uss waqt mujhe kya hua tha… mujhe aisa bilkul nahi karna chahiye tha…”
He tried to shrug it off, “it’s alright…”
“No it’s not”, she firmly replied, “jo bhi hua usme main bhi thi… even I kissed you… toh mujhe tumko blame nahi karna chahiye tha…” He remained silent, not sure what to tell her… She seemed to be thinking something for a minute, and then raised herself a bit more, stretched up and placed a soft tender kiss on his cheek… He sucked in a breath, struck with disbelief at what she did… Did she realize it? Or was it another subconscious moment which would end with a rude awakening? To his surprise she kissed him again, this time on the red scratch, and that feeling was followed by a warm drop trickling down his cheek, and a broken soft voice near his ear, “I am sorry…”
He immediately cupped her cheek, turning her face to look at it, and quickly shook his head, “don’t cry Naina… it was nothing…”
She closed her eyes, biting her lip, “jabse tum aaye ho… main bas… kaise kahu… bahot kuch hai jiske liye sorry bolna chahiye mujhe… I really don’t know ke maine itna sab kuch kiya phir bhi tum kaise har baar sab bhulakar meri inti care karte ho.”
Was this the moment, he wondered… Did she truly realize that he loved her? Did she accept it? Would she be more acceptable to have him in her home now? Will she be open to the idea to have him in her life? Did she start to trust him a bit? His breath shuddered out of his mouth as he replied, “because I love you Naina…”
Incredibly enough instead of refuting his claim, she smiled, “aage ka statement?”
He was perplexed, “huh?”
She kept gazing into his eyes, as she said, “pehle din jab tum aaye the yahan… shaam ko… khana banate hue, tumne kuch kaha tha mujhse… Tum mujhse pyaar karte ho bola tha, par uske baad bhi kuch tha… Will you repeat that whole statement again?
He was confused for few minutes as he tried to recollect… There were so many things he had tried to clarify to her, assure her about that he felt his mind to be muddled with those thoughts… But one thing he had said, definitely stood out, crystal clear… Trying to control his heart from hoping much, he slowly repeated the line, “I love you and want to marry you…”
She smiled once more, a calm, serene, wide smile as she replied, “yes…”
His eyes rounded in surprise, and his voice reflected the amazement he felt, “you will marry me?”
She nodded, “yes…”
His heart did a flipping somersault inside his ribcage, and something zinged across his body that seemed to give him an energy boost… Slowly a smile curved his lips, and then it widened to a grin… The dullness in his eyes turned to a bright sparkle that took her breath away… And in just a matter of seconds it seemed the tiredness vanished from his face… He cupped her cheeks in his hands, “are you sure? Baad me mana toh nahi kar dogi na?”
She sighed, “Sameer… mere past me bahot si cheeze hai jo tumhe nahi pata… and I am sure tumhari life me bhi aisi baate hogi jo mujhe nahi pata… We will need time to build that complete trust and special bond… But for now… Main itna bol sakti hun ke I trust you to protect me and my child… And for now that is all I need from you… Please waada karo ke dusro ki tarah beech raste chodke nahi jaoge”
His gaze softened as he wiped the few tear drops that leaked out of her eyes, “oh sweetheart… I promise I will never leave you… Main hamesha tumhare saath rahunga… Aur main tumhara aur hamare bachche ka dhyan rakhunga… And I also promise ke shaadi ke baad bhi main wait karunga jab tak tum mujhpe poore tareeke se bharosa nahi karti aur saamne se apni feelings nahi batati… Main kabhi kuch aisa nahi mangunga tumse jo tum dena na chaho… I promise I will always love you… Naina, main apne guzre hue kal ka koi saboot nahi de sakta, bas itna keh sakta hun ke sirf tum woh pehli aur aakhri ladki ho jisko maine I love you bola hai…”
Her eyes widened in surprise and more tears spilled from the corners, and then she smiled, “I am so happy to know that… thank you…”
He blinked to hide his own happy tears, “kya main tumhe hug kar sakta hun? Please…”
She nodded, lying down again with her head on his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her feeling absolutely content and immensely happy in that moment… Naina had agreed to marry him… She had said she trusted him to protect her and her child… It was such a big moment that he thought they should be celebrating it in some way, but then he discarded that thought as what could be a bigger celebration than Naina willingly sleeping in his arms… He knew this wasn’t the end of his tests, he was sure there would be more ups-and-downs between them, but at least they had started to form a bond of trust, and that was what mattered the most.
In a minute she asked, “thodi der aur so jaaye?”
He hummed, “tumhe library nahi jaana?”
She fisted her hand on his t-shirt, settling comfortably, “nahi… kal theek se neend nahi hui toh bahot thakan lag rahi hai… Phone karke bol dungi ke aaj chutti le rahi hun… Par tumhara office?”
He immediately stated, “it’s okay… late chala jaunga, sirf meeting ke liye… Aur jaldi wapas aa jaunga… let’s sleep…”
She closed her eyes and drowsily murmured, “mujhe chodna mat…”
“Kabhi nahi”, he assured, closing his own eyes… And true to his word his arms didn’t loosen from around her even when they both drifted into deep peaceful slumber while the world around them woke up to a new day…
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Loved it to the core......it was such a relief.... Very beautiful