Lights of Eternity Part – 2: Feeling of HOME

“Oh saheb, joine chaalo” (Oh sir, watch where you are going); the sharply spoken Gujarati command broke into his thoughts and Sameer looked up to find that he had been about to collide with a coolie. The coolie rushed past him without hearing his murmured apology. As the red digitals in the overhead clock blinked 3:30pm, the three boys stepped out of the platform and Pandit tried to hail an auto.

Sameer stopped him and said, “Let’s go to the nearby restaurant to eat something as I didn’t have any lunch.” If he was honest to himself, he wasn’t hungry, but he wasn’t ready to step into the house yet. He was happy to be back to Ahmedabad, but deep down he was scared to see that house again. How would he live there? His life felt empty without Nanu, how would the house feel? As they made their way to the restaurant, Munna and Pandit exchanged a quick glance which was missed by Sameer who was again engrossed in his thoughts.

Soon they were seated in the small restaurant with cold-drinks that were barely cold and dishes of greasy samosas while Munna & Pandit chattered non-stop to cheer up their gloomy friend. Sameer chuckled at their antics and touched the folded piece of paper in his shirt pocket as if confirming it was still there or perhaps assuring himself of the promise mentioned in that last letter from Naina. Will she fulfill her promise? The letter gave him the strength to ask Munna if there was any new news from Naina or perhaps a phone call this morning. Munna informed him that he had met Naina yesterday in school and she was very happy that he was coming back but she hadn’t called today. Sameer wondered if he should try and call her at home, then decided against it given what had happened last time they had talked on phone; anyways he would meet her tomorrow at school.

*** 2 months, 10 days Ago ***

Once he had somewhat recovered from the traumatic shock of Nanu’s death, his brain had started absorbing the jarring details of the unknown surroundings he suddenly found himself in. Sameer’s numbness had then given way to jolted awareness of the fact that he was in Delhi and he had left without conveying one single word to Naina, Munna and Pandit.

He had called and instructed Ramdhari to ask his friends to call him on his Delhi number whenever they come next time. Since Munna and Pandit had no means to contact him, he knew they must have been visiting Ramdhari & Munshi Kaka for any news of him. Then he had written a letter for Naina and addressed the envelope to Munna at Nanu’s address. He hadn’t been in a frame of mind to write a detailed letter but had promised that he will call her soon one night.

His first call with Munna and Pandit had felt like suddenly finding a familiar face at an unknown location. The care and concern they had showered on him after Nanu’s death were hazy memories, but his heart knew that they had been there with him like always. He had got to know from Munna that since learning about what had happened, Naina had been extremely worried about him. She had desperately wanted to talk to him; so much that she had even asked principal sir about Sameer’s contact information in Delhi giving excuse that Sameer had some of her notes. That hadn’t worked however because principal sir had refused and instructed her to not disturb the family at such a time. Sameer had been surprised at her courage, he knew very well what would have happened if Rakesh sir had found out about her enquiries. Then he had felt humbled and blessed at the fact that he still had someone in his life who cared for him so much. Sameer had felt an urgency to talk to her, but he had to be careful; he couldn’t risk for anyone in that house to find out about Naina. Thanks to his mother, he had somehow received permission from his step-father to talk to Munna and Pandit. His step-father had been against Sameer talking to his low-class friends, but his mother, surprisingly instead of meekly accepting her husband’s decision, had been adamant about Sameer needing his friends at this phase in his life.

Finally, Sameer had found an opportunity to talk to Naina. Their first conversation had been cut-short by his step-father waking up, but it had been enough to bring some peace to both. He had called her up expecting to console her, he had been ready with ideas to make her stop crying, he had been armed with half-heartedly framed sentences to make her understand that why he had to leave like that; but his girl had again managed to amaze him. Naina had enquired about him – his health, his day-to-day activities, how he was adjusting in his new environment. She had then given him a brief update on things happening at her end – how students were at wits end in school because of the approaching exams, taiji & chachiji’s recent nok-jhok at home when buying utensils in exchange of clothes, she had also added how much Preeti missed her jijaji. He had never known that a small smile – the first since that unfortunate day – had bloomed on his face while listening to these mundane things. He had spent so much time at her home that he could relate to most of the things Naina said about her family and the very ordinariness of those things gave him a warm feeling.

Sameer had asked her how she was, and if she was missing him just like Preeti was. He was trying to find words to tell her why he had left so suddenly. But before he could say anything, Naina had earnestly replied that yes, she missed him very much just like she knew how much he missed her. But she also understood what had happened and why he had to leave. She had gone on to say that he need not worry about it or explain anything to her. Sameer’s eyes had become moist on hearing her considerate words; he felt as if a burden had been lifted off his shoulders, and as if by its own will, his mouth had whispered “Sorry Naina…” Naina had replied with a small smile “Bhul gaye na firse? Dosti me no sorry, no thank you.” Sameer’s mouth stretched into a smile yet again and Naina’s voice flowed over him like a gentle breeze as she solemnly added, “I understand why you had to go Sameer. And I also know how much pain you must have felt and still feel. But didn’t you tell me once that Nanu always wished to see you happy? I know it is difficult, but you have to try; and whenever you feel lonely remember that I love you very much.” Sameer’s breath hitched on hearing those three words from Naina. She had said them so naturally, without being asked. He had been about to reply “Naina I…” when there was a sound of loud coughing from his step-father and Sameer had disconnected the call.

Speaking with Naina had cleared some of the haze from his mind and he had realized that Nanu was right, he had to take up new responsibilities; not only for Nanu and his business but also for Naina. And the first step he needed to take to make this possible was to return to Ahmedabad.

A week later, his second call to Naina had been him telling her everything about his life in Delhi and his determination to return to Ahmedabad – to her, to his friends, to Nanu’s house. Even though she hadn’t responded with words, he had felt her smiling at the other end when she listened to the assurance of his return. He had asked her what she was doing, and she had replied that she was sitting in the balcony looking up at the stars, and he had been reminded of the magical night at Mt. Abu. He had lived a lifetime in that one night and failed to realize it then. He asked her if she remembered that night, and she had replied lovingly, “is there any way I can forget?” Then she had naughtily added “By the way, when you come back I think I will wear my khaas wala brown dress and come to meet you.” He had made a face and replied to her teasing saying, “it’s not khaas wala, it’s bhalu wala…” And they had both laughed. The melodious sound of her laughter had lifted his spirits. Little did he know at that time that he was not the only one who was hearing Naina laugh.

Taiji who had woken up to get her balm for knee pain, had heard Naina’s laugh and peered through her slightly ajar window to see her sitting in the balcony. Taiji hadn’t confronted Naina at that time, but as was her nature raised hue and cry the very next day in front of the whole family. She had claimed that Naina was having an affair with some boy, and poor Munna & Pandit had been dragged into the affair-scenario for they had landed up at Naina’s house last Sunday to pass on a letter from Sameer under the pretext of borrowing notes. Taiji had already started on her parvarish and sanskaar pravachan about how Bela chachi had failed to give a proper upbringing to Naina. Preeti had stood helpless while Naina was being lambasted and Naina had been tight lipped the whole time, not knowing what to do or say, but never in her dream would she have taken Sameer’s name.

Just when Taiji & her father were barraging her with questions, surprisingly she had been rescued by Arjun. Arjun had started to study till late into the night to prepare for his exams and Taiji kept grumbling about the huge electricity bill that they would have to pay; so Chachaji had asked him to come over to study at their house and sleep there as well. Based on the uproar this morning it hadn’t taken time for him to understand that his sister had been talking to Sameer. Even though he still hadn’t been convinced about their relationship, there had been no way he could have ignored the immense care and concern Naina had for Sameer. He had seen his little sister shattered on hearing about Sameer’s loss, devastated at not being able to be there for him when he had probably needed her the most. He had heard her sobs which she had tried to hide from the family. He had also seen her pull herself together and patiently wait for hours at end willing the phone to ring while making extra copy of her notes with the faith that Sameer would return soon for exams. The dark shadows beneath her eyes hadn’t escaped his notice, neither had the return of spark in her eyes one fine day when Munna had handed over Sameer’s first letter to her. So, sighing inwardly and hoping he was taking the right step, he had finally decided the time had come to let go of the grudges and ensure that the shine is her sister’s eyes never faded again.

Arjun had stepped into the line of fire and told the family that he was awake and studying in the living room when Naina was talking on phone; and that she had been talking to Swati who was anxious because of exams and Naina was simply trying to cheer her up. Arjun had also added that it was him who had asked Naina to go out in the balcony to talk because her chatter was disturbing him. While Naina and Preeti tried to keep a straight face and hide their astonishment on hearing this, the rest of the family had turned on Arjun and Tayaji had reprimanded him for telling his sister to go out on balcony so late at night – “Kisiki nazar padd gai to aas-pados wale kya sochenge. Agarwal khandaan ki betiyan aisi harkate nai karti.” Taiji had closed the conversation with a parting shot – “Ne wah! Ab bina maa ke bachche hai to aisa hi hoga na. Mujhe to badi fikar hoti hai inn dono ke bhavishya ka sochke. Chalo Arjun to fir bhi ladka hai, kuch na kuch kar hi lega. Bhagwaan jaane iss Naina ka kya hoga, shaadi karne ko bhi koi raazi nai hoga isse to… Na naak-naksh hai na hi koi gun.”

Naina always used to feel bad at Taiji’s taunts regarding her bleak future, but this time, even though her face remained stoic, her heart smiled because she knew that her future maybe difficult & adventurous or smooth & easy but it sure was not without love. She knew Sameer loved her immensely and she had complete faith in their relationship. She knew that her Sameer would fight all odds to make her his own and as for her… she was ready to make heaven and earth meet to be with Sameer.

Arjun hadn’t asked Naina any details, just told her to be careful the next time. Naina had been surprised at her brother’s support. Naina knew that Taiji would surely keep an eye on her from now on, so rather than waiting for Sameer to call her again, she had passed on this information to Munna and Pandit, who had taken up the responsibility to call Sameer from STD and quickly brief him on what had happened. Sameer had decided that he couldn’t put Naina in trouble just for the sake of peace they got on hearing each other’s voice. Anyways he would return soon for his final exams, till then letters would be enough for communication as they could be passed on to her in school away from the prying eyes of her family.

*** Present Day ***

The wind whipped his hair as the auto speeded through the nearly empty road and Sameer willed himself to face the circumstances and Nanu’s memories. Munna and Pandit were extremely worried on seeing Sameer so quiet, it was unnatural. As the auto passed the temple near Rajshri Park, Sameer again recollected Naina’s promise in her last letter. Unwillingly he thought again, Will she fulfill her promise?; then consoled himself with one word – Tomorrow.

They stepped out of the auto in front of the gleaming white bungalow. Sameer squinted his eyes as he looked at windows glittering in late afternoon sunlight, the blue Maruti 800 and his bike were parked at the exact same spot as that day, there were some dry patches of grass in the lawn and bees buzzed lazily over the bright summer blooms. The white swing stood empty and unmoving, but he could see Nanu sitting and reading his morning newspaper as the swing creaked in a gentle motion. He tore his eyes away from the swing with a quick turn of his head, as if it was not an inanimate object, but a siren forming a mental image which would consume him with grief. With a sigh he proceeded towards the wooden front doors and froze.

The house should have been empty, but his brows furrowed in confusion as he heard voices inside. He looked towards Munna and Pandit with a perplexed expression while both of his friends smiled and opened the door for him. As they crossed the hallway foyer, the sight that greeted him was enough to make him think that his brain had disconnected from reality. The smiling faces of Arjun, Shefali, Swati and Preeti were looking at him from the living room. Incredulously enough, he even heard their voices greeting him, welcoming him. His eyes moved over them in disbelief and then finally landed on the most beautiful sight of his life.

Naina was standing near the staircase and her face split into a wide smile on seeing Sameer. Surroundings faded into a blur, conversations changed into a meaningless buzz, vision narrowed and focused; as if in a trance, Sameer walked towards her till he was inches away from her looking down at her smiling face. She looked up into his chocolate brown eyes that were currently clouded with confusion and said, “welcome home Sameer.” Sameer’s senses sharpened as he heard her voice and his brain registered the fact that if he could hear her then it means he wasn’t dreaming; Naina was actually here.

Still he whispered, as if fearing to be awoken from a beautiful dream, “Naina, you are here?”

Naina smiled and said, “I promised that I will meet you the day you return”

Happiness filled Sameer’s heart as though a large balloon was inflating inside. The sight of her soaked every cell in his body with warmth and love. He had been filled with dread of facing haunting memories in an empty house all through his journey. But, Naina had dispelled his fear and replaced it with joy and hope simply by being here to welcome him. As his eyes drank in her sight, he realized that finally this was no longer just his Nanu’s house but his HOME…

HE WAS HOME… HIS HOME WAS HER…