Beginning of Everything

Naina Agarwal was experiencing the strange feeling of being happy and sad at the same time as she walked through the wrought iron gates of her new college. She was happy because H.L. College of Commerce was one of the best colleges in Ahmedabad, and she had received a scholarship for all three years from their school trustee. And she was sad because her sister Preeti was not in this college, because of her marks she had to take admission in VJN College.

At first she had also wanted to go to VJN, despite her good grades and the scholarship, but her Chachaji had talked her out of the foolishness making her realize how a good college would help her in her career. So here she was… all alone… hoping she could make few new friends here otherwise the three years would be extremely tough.

Keeping everything aside, the college campus itself was very beautiful. The cream and red structure spread wide in the center reaching up to three floors in height, and was surrounded by trees. She could see garden and playground at the far end, and also a huge parking area dotted with cars, bikes and even cycles. Another small parking area was on the path that led to main college building, but here only bikes were parked. As she reached that spot suddenly her foot twisted on a small rock, and the strap of her sandal snapped.

She tried to balance herself, holding onto a bike, and lifted her foot up to tuck the strap in. She mumbled to herself, “urghh… pehle din hi aisa hona tha.”

A bike entered the college area, driven by a boy dressed in jeans, blue t-shirt and a white jacket. He had headphones covering his ears and his eyes were hidden behind aviators. From the way people waved at him, it was obvious that he was not only a fairly regular student at the college, but was also quite popular. Naina was oblivious to all this, as she desperately tried to fix her sandal afraid that if someone spotted the broken strap they would make fun of her. Suddenly, she heard a deep masculine voice next to her, “oi, kuch madad chahiye?”

A startled gasp escaped her lips, and she turned, but as she did so her long satchel also swung around and hit the boy on his jaw with a loud thud. He screamed, “ow! Pagal ho kya? Muh tod diya mera.” He eyed his fallen sunglasses on the ground for a moment, and then his chocolaty gaze met her soft brown ones. For a moment she felt as if something shifted inside those eyes, but she didn’t focus on it, instead her eyes moved to his palm covering the lower portion of his face where he was hurt. She opened her mouth to apologize but he spoke up before her, annoyingly asking, “bag me kya paththar bharke laati ho.”

How rude this boy was? Didn’t he understand that he had scared her by sneaking up like that? And wasn’t she trying to apologize if only he let her? Anyways it wasn’t like he was a film star that a little swollen jaw would hurt his day’s earnings. She indignantly tried to tell him that it was his fault, “meri koi galti nahi hi. Aap hi toh…”

His eyes widened in surprise, “kya kaha? Aap…? Zara firse bolna.”

His face was still covered by his broad palm and exceptionally long fingers but still she could hear the mirth in his voice. Mortified, she fled from there, open hair bouncing with each step, red dupatta flying in the wind, and metal bangles clinking in her hand.

**********

Naina was happy to see her classroom, the raised benches so different from school, and her favorite part was that the windows opened to sprawling gardens. The classes started at 9am, and she had gotten hold of a bench near the windows so she could see the green lawn and trees. After two lectures, on one of her usual glances outside the window she spotted a boy in white jacket standing with a few other boys beneath a tree and smoking. Disgusted, she scrunched her nose, and wondered if it was the same boy whom she had hit this morning. If so, then it was good, she could consider it as his overdue punishment for smoking and stop feeling guilty.

During the third lecture, a girl slid in beside her, and when Naina glanced inquiringly at her she smiled and introduced herself, “hiee… mera naam Swati hai.”

Naina smiled, “hi, main Naina.”

The whole lecture and next, Naina tried to pay attention to the class being held, but Swati kept doodling on paper or making origamis out of them. As the bell rung indicating break time, Naina couldn’t help but ask, “tum zara bhi dhyan de rahi thi class me?”

Swati shrugged, “mujhe toh yahan padhna hi nahi tha. Mummy-Papa ne zabardasti bheja hai. Mujhe fashion designing karna hai Mumbai jaake, lekin ab gharwalo ko kaun samjhaye.”

Naina struggled to understand the mentality of her bench-mate who was not the least bit interested in college. Suddenly Swati gripped her hand, animatedly exclaiming, “woh dekh, second aur third year wale bulane aaye hai. Chal chalte hai jaldi… ragging hogi lagta hai.”

Again Naina stared amazed as Swati almost dragged her out, wondering how anyone could be excited about being ragged. She felt literally scared of the prospect, and if possible wanted to go and hide somewhere till it was over. She was not cut out for such stuff, Preeti was, and her sister wasn’t with her. She tried to pull free, “Swati chodo na. Mujhe nahi jaana, tum jao.”

Swati glared at her, “yeh kya tum tum laga rakha hai. Tu nahi bol sakti? Ab toh hum teen saal saath rahenge, to mujhe koi tum-wum nahi sunna. Chup-Chap se tu bula. Aur college ke pehle din ragging me nahi gai toh kya mazaa.”

Naina was astounded at the almost forced friendship, but kept that aside, there was more urgent matter to deal with. She tried again, “dekho…”, and corrected herself on seeing Swati’s glare, “mera matlab… dekh Swati… mujhe yeh sab achcha nahi lagta. Tu jaa na. Mujhe baksh de.”

Swati shook her head, “main kuch nahi sunn rahi. Tu soch zara, agar aaj tu darke ragging me nahi gai toh teen saal sab log tujhe chidayenge. Usse toh achcha hai aaj apni taang khichayi karwa le… soch le… ek din ya teen saal?”

Hearing it being put that way, it did seem to Naina that it would be better if she went for the ragging session rather than hiding out. Gulping, she nodded, and Swati beamed at her pulling her to the canteen where the flood of students was moving. As they stood there, few boys entered inside, with two of them in weird colorful shirts and they teased everyone. It was evident that even though they were joking with all, they were well liked, and Naina recognized them to be the same gang whom she had spotted smoking. Another boy asked, “aree Sameer kaha hai? Uske bina ragging karne me kya mazaa.”

One of two bright shirted boys replied, “aree apna yaar aata hi hoga. Fikar nahi.”

Naina wondered who was Sameer and why was everyone waiting for him to start ragging. Was he some kind of student leader? Soon a boy came inside, and people hooted and yelled. White color flashed amidst the pool of students, suddenly the crowd parted and the boy turned. His gaze collided with hers, and she once again found herself looking into chocolaty eyes the second time in the same day. So his name was Sameer, she thought, and felt it was a nice fit given his long wavy hair. And had she really thought he was no film star? Honest to God, he almost looked like one, or maybe even better. Even as she watched him, he reached up and stroked his jaw reminding her that she had hit him. But she also remembered that he was smoking. So instead of looking apologetic, she folded her arms and quirked an eyebrow. She noticed the amusement in his eyes and also something more… like appreciation. But then she thought she was mistaken as the immediate next moment, he was goofing around with everyone, ragging the first year students.

Occupied in observing him as he asked some students to dance on a specific qawwali, or made them do enactments of funny film scenes, she never noticed that soon it was Swati’s turn. A girl dressed in a short green dress asked Swati to dance on “tu tu hai wahi dil ne jise apna kaha”, which she accomplished beautifully. And then it was Naina’s turn. Swati gave her an encouraging smile, and prodded her go forward. The same girl who had asked Swati to dance, looked her over, and her mouth twisted, “tum kya kisi gaanv se aai ho? College me aise kapde kaun pehenta hai?”

Naina’s cheeks flushed in embarrassment, and curly haired boy near Sameer said, “aree Monica, tujhe kya farq pad raha hai isne kya pehna hai usse. Tu bas itna bata na ke isse kya karwana hai.”

Monica smirked, “kapde aise pehne hai toh mujra karwa lete hai.”

Naina looked up horrified, she couldn’t do it; it was not that she couldn’t dance, but she felt shy and also her sandal was broken. She could remove it, but then everyone would know it was broken and tease her even more. Quite by chance her gaze shifted to Sameer, and she found that he was observing her, or rather scanning her, his eyes moving down her body. For a moment they rested on her feet, it seemed, but then he again looked up quickly. Before Monica could assign a song to her, Sameer interrupted, “nahi… isse dance nahi karwana. Monica thik keh rahi hai, yeh thode purane khayalat ki lagti hai.” Monica beamed at Sameer, and Naina for some reason felt sad at the way he classified her based on her costume. He thought for some time and then suggested, “I am sure tumko shlok ya dohe zarur aate honge. Waisa hi kuch suna do, lekin gaake.”

Naina didn’t want to feel gratitude for him, but she almost breathed in relief. Trying not to feel nervous of the audience, she started singing in a clear ringing tone, “Pothi Padh Padh Jag Mua Pandit Bhaya Na Koi… Dhai Aakhar Prem Ke, Jo Padhe So Pandit Hoye…”

Swati clapped loudly as she finished, and a few followed suit. Naina smiled at her new friend, thankful of her encouragement, and moved back to her. But she couldn’t stop herself from glancing once at Sameer, and to her astonishment he was smiling; and as she looked he winked at her. She gasped and quickly averted her gaze, and again she wondered if he had intervened because he knew her sandal was broken or if he really thought of her to be old-fashioned. Also, she couldn’t help but wonder why was she even thinking what he thought about her, it shouldn’t matter at all. It had never mattered to her who thought or said what about her, then why now.

**********

“Naina jaldi kar”, Swati prodded.

It was break time, and Swati was exceptionally hungry today. It had been a week since college started, and apart from studies, Naina found that she liked the overall vibe of the college. Most students were snobbish because they were rich, but no one unnecessarily spiteful. She never interfered with anyone, and mostly others also left her alone… Everyone except Monica… She didn’t know why, but Monica would constantly pass comments on her looks and dressing sense, and also termed her as behenji often. When she had done that once in Swati’s presence, Swati had been furious and called Monica “par kati murgi.” Naina had covered her mouth to stop her giggles, and from then onwards she had truly considered Swati to be her close friend, since the only other person who had ever defended her was Preeti.

In this one week she had also got to know that Sameer’s full name was Sameer Maheshwari, he was a third year student and was reputed to be the college stud. Every girl was supposedly crazy about him, which Naina thought was not so difficult to believe given how he looked. It was also rumored that the only girl in campus who attracted Sameer’s eyes was Monica, which again Naina thought was pretty much obvious given the way she looked and dressed. She knew that Sameer and his gang of boys always hung out together, but most of the time he was with only two of them – Munna and Pandit – who had strange fascination for the brightest and weirdest shirts. They considered Sameer as hero, and he considered them as his best friends, though Naina did wonder that how was it possible that the most popular boy shared friendship with two simple and strange boys. She also heard that Sameer belonged to one of the richest families in the city, which again was not difficult to believe as she had seen him driving around in a latest model of car, but given what she had observed she thought he preferred bike more than car. After having heard the twittering of a few girls she knew that Sameer played guitar, bunked classes, had a hobby of boxing and also that quite a few boys had tasted his punch for some or the other reason. Naina didn’t see him regularly, but on days she would spot him it would be usually in the garden while he was smoking.

Today however, she immediately spotted him as she walked into the canteen. He was wearing a brown shirt today, with his collar raised up, and two buttons open. Naina muttered, “tapori”, under her breath as she sat down on a table with Swati. She opened her tiffin box, and Swati got up to go buy a sandwich for herself. She had just taken a bite out of her rolled alu-paratha, when a chair next to her was turned so that the back faced the table and someone sat down on it. When she looked up, her eyes widened in disbelief on seeing that it was Sameer. He was sitting so close that his knee almost touched her leg, uneasy with the probability of touching him, she gingerly shifted her chair aside a bit. He didn’t seem to notice her action, or maybe it didn’t bother him, because he smiled at her, and leaned closer to speak softly, “hi Naina… main toh tumhe bahot sidhi-sadhi samajh raha tha par tumne toh pehle din hi…”

What did he mean? Curious she asked, “pehle din kya?”

He suddenly spotted the open tiffin box, “oh wow! Alu ka paratha.” Shamelessly picking up her the roll she had just taken a bite from, he twisted his hand as if inspecting the roll and then took a huge bite out of it. “Mmmm”, he moaned in pleasure and Naina jolted at the sound as it did odd things to her stomach. He licked his lips and complimented, “bahot tasty hai. Tumne banaya hai?”

She nodded stiffly, half-wondering how could someone be so shameless to eat from someone else’s tiffin without permission, and half-pleased that he found her cooking to be tasty. He gobbled up the whole paratha, and then wiped his hands on a tissue, “haan woh main keh raha tha ke yahan main soch raha tha ke tum sidhi-sadhi ladki ho par tumne toh pehle din hi pyaar ka doha suna diya.”

She gasped in outrage, “kya matlab aapka? Aur aap kya mere baare me bol rahe hai… aap apni soch dekhiye… pyaar kya sirf ek ladka-ladki ke beech me ho sakta hai? Pyaar toh kisiko bhi kisise ho sakta hai…” She wanted to elaborate on family ties, but Sameer’s chuckle interrupted her. His eyes glittered again in a way that made the chocolate color look almost as if it was melting, and he smirked, “aur kisi tarike ka pyaar toh pata nahi… par mujhe khushi hai ke main sirf kisi ladki se hi pyaar kar sakta hun. I hope tumhari pasand bhi ladko tak hi seemit hai…”

Her brows furrowed as she tried to comprehend what he meant, but before understanding dawned he had winked at her again and left. She kept thinking about his words, and just as Swati came back, she almost exclaimed at his audacity. Thinking of giving him a piece of her mind she looked around, but couldn’t spot him anywhere. “Badtameez kahinka”, she mumbled. Swati looked confused, “kya hua? Kise badtameez bol rahi hai?”

Naina’s eyes flashed, “aur kaun? Wahi… college hero Sameer Maheshwari. Kuch bhi bolte rehte hai.”

Swati rolled her eyes, “Sameer ne tujhse kab baat ki? Aur yeh kya hai – bolte rehte hai. Tu kya usse aap-aap karke baat karti hai?”

Naina closed her empty tiffin box and nodded. Swati wiggled her brows and teased, “kya baat hai meri heroine? Pure college ko tum aur Sameer ko aap… kuch khaas hai?”

Naina huffed, “kuch khaas nahi hai. Tu jaldi khatam kar sandwich, mujhe library bhi jaana hai.” Swati muttered something vile about library as she finished her sandwich. Naina smiled, she knew Swati didn’t like to study, but courtesy their friendship she had managed to convince Swati to study enough to at least finish graduation. However, Swati hated the library sessions.

Sameer also never came in the library, she thought, and then was annoyed at herself for even thinking about him. She kept fiddling with her dupatta, glancing here and there, feeling hungry. Sameer had eaten her only paratha, and she didn’t have money to buy food. Whatever money she had was just enough to pay the rickshaw fare. She could, but she didn’t want to ask for money from Swati, so she stayed hungry.

**********

Naina stayed busy in her studies, and helping Swati out with hers. She had even introduced Preeti and Swati to each other and to her delight they had hit it off instantly. Now they went to eat pani-puri together once every week on Wednesdays in the evening after college. Before she knew two months had passed, and in the meantime one strange thing had started to happen to her. Her tiffin would often disappear… she didn’t know how. Sometimes from canteen, sometimes when she would be in library, and at every other time she was not around her bag… But it would re-appear somehow or the other. The curious thing was that whenever she opened the tiffin after getting it back, whatever she had packed in morning would not be there, but a sandwich or samosa or sometimes even noodles would be packed in it. Annoyed she had refrained from eating whatever was given to her for a few days, but then she couldn’t stay hungry every day, and so she had reluctantly started to eat.

She had thought maybe it was Sameer who was doing this. Hadn’t he liked her cooking? But then she had spotted him gobbling plateful of food in canteen, and had sighed. No it wasn’t him for sure. If he had been eating her tiffin then he wouldn’t be stuffing himself like that. Surely it was someone’s prank and would stop sooner or later.

In these two months she had naturally gotten to know more about Sameer. Given his reputation she had thought he would be dumb in studies, but it turned out that he managed to get decent marks. Definitely not a topper, but neither did he flunked exams. She spotted him less often in the garden, it seemed like his smoking frequency was reducing. Her encounters with him were minimal, and always initiated by him. It seemed that he found some strange pleasure in teasing her, and their conversations always ended with her getting irritated and him winking. She rarely got mad at people but Sameer had the bizarre capability to make her want to hit him, plus it annoyed her that she couldn’t call him ‘tum’ no matter how much she tried. Even in anger she would call him ‘aap’ and his eyes would sparkle at the way she addressed him.

On one fine Wednesday, she had just stuffed a spicy large pani-puri in her mouth when she choked badly. Swati and Preeti rubbed her back, asking what happened, but her eyes were fixed on the trio walking towards them, or rather at the boy walking in the center. Dressed in jeans and a tucked in purple shirt, Sameer ambled with a smirk on his face. As he reached closer, he lowered his sunglasses slightly, eyeing her with a familiar glitter in his eyes. Munna and Pandit ordered three plates of pani-puri, and Swati asked surprised, “tum teeno yahan kya kar rahe ho?”

Munna questioned back, “kyun? Yeh pani-puri ka thela tumhara personal wala hai kya?”

To Naina’s astonishment, Swati blushed as she mumbled a no. Naina was trying not to look at Sameer, but when he removed his sunglasses she couldn’t stop herself from glancing and as usual he was looking at her. His lips curved in a lopsided smile, and he used his thumb to rub his lower lip as if he was wiping something. Puzzled, she wondered what he was up to now before realizing that she had forgotten to wipe her mouth after she had choked. Her eyes closed in embarrassment as she hastily turned and used her dupatta to wipe her mouth. She lost her appetite, but had to stay around as Preeti and Swati were still eating. All the time Sameer kept blessing her or annoying her with glances and smiles, the only thing that stopped her from fleeing from there was that Swati and Preeti were standing between her and Sameer, so there was a safe distance and he couldn’t talk to her. Soon the girls finished eating, and since they took turns in payment, Preeti argued it was Swati’s turn, while she argued the other way. Naina was just about to intervene and tell Preeti it was her turn, when suddenly she felt someone next to her, and turned to see Sameer wiping his mouth with her dupatta. She gaped at him in shock, and he flashed a grin and winked at her before leaving. By the time she recovered from the shock, Preeti had recollected that it was indeed her turn and had paid up. As she returned home with Preeti in auto, she unknowingly clutched the portion of her dupatta that had been used by both her and Sameer.

**********

Few days passed since the pani-puri incident and she didn’t spot Sameer in college. Her tiffin still kept mysteriously disappearing and reappearing. The monsoons had almost come to an end, but just like a candle burned brighter in its last few minutes, the weather also decided to act in the same way. Naina had stayed back in the library for just additional thirty minutes after college to finish her assignment, but when she came out dark clouds had gathered in the sky and it was raining pretty heavily. She debated whether to wait out the rain in college, or go home, but it seemed like the weather would only worsen, and if she stayed here then it was possible she wouldn’t get an auto, and if she was late Taiji would scold her. So she opened her umbrella, and stepped out in the rain. The umbrella stopped the worse of it, but because of the wind the rain slashed across the terrain, making her clothes partially wet. She looked down at the mud coating her pink churidaar and sighed. This was her favorite dress, and looked like it would be soiled very badly. She hailed autos, but most of them were full with passengers, and the ones who stopped demanded more money than she had with her. It seemed like she would have to walk home today.

Few paces later, someone joined her, and she looked at her side to see a scowling Sameer Maheshwari. He was dragging his bike alongside, and looked irritated. “Aap”, she almost stammered.

He looked at her from under hooded eyes, but didn’t answer, rather kept walking. He was heading the same way she had to, so she too kept walking, stealing glances at him. It somehow disturbed her that he was getting drenched in rain, and yet she was also fascinated at the way water dripped from his long hair, and how the drops streaked down his jaw and chin. She was walking a few steps behind lost in her observations, but he suddenly turned back and asked, “tum kya mera peecha kar rahi ho?”

She huffed, “mera dimag kharab nahi hai ke aapka peecha karu. Mere ghar jaaneka yahi raasta hai.”

He narrowed his eyes as if considering her statement then shrugged and carried on. She sighed, wondering why he was in such a bad mood today. But then, she thought, wasn’t it obvious? His bike had broken down, he didn’t have a raincoat or umbrella, and he had to pull the heavy bike through the rain. Without even thinking twice, she caught up to him, and matched his steps, sharing her umbrella with him. He paused briefly, glancing above him, and then at her. Their eyes met, and she felt something funny happening inside her – in her heart or in her belly, she didn’t know. But just like the very first day, she felt as if something shifted in his eyes as he held her gaze. He smiled and started to walk again, and so did she trying not to think if that brief eye lock meant something.

Desperate to shift her thoughts to some other topic, she asked, “aap toh yahan nahi rehte shayad toh fir iss taraf kyun aa rahe hai?”

He flashed a crooked smile at her, “mere ghar ka pataa janna ho toh sidhe sidhe puch lo na, aise natak kyun kar rahi ho?”

She was irked, “aap kabhi sidhe muh jawaab nahi de sakte kya?”

He was silent for a moment before answering, “Munna ka ghar iss taraf hai, aur wahi ek garage bhi hai. Wahan bike daal dunga. Soch raha hun baarish bandh hone tak wahin ruku. Mera ghar thoda dur hai yahan se.”

She nodded, glad that for once he had answered properly. A little distance away an auto was waiting for passengers, and Sameer gestured to her, “puch lo kitna lega tumhare ghar tak.”

She obeyed, and the fare quoted was normal. He asked her to leave, but she hesitated biting her lip, and finally asked, “aap… aap nahi chalenge?”

He smiled, “chal padta tumhare saath, lekin yeh bike auto me nahi le jaa sakta na.” It made sense, naturally, so she offered her umbrella to him. His eyes glittered in that strange way again as he accepted it; and his fingers lightly brushed hers during the exchange. Electric tingles shot through her spine, suddenly making her feel warm even in the cold rains. Almost scared of the sensation, she turned and fled, quickly sitting inside the auto. But again, no matter how much she tried, she couldn’t help lean out slightly to look at him as the auto moved. Even through the curtain of rain, she felt sure that he was staring at her, still standing at the same spot with her umbrella in one hand.

**********

Another month passed, and her interactions with Sameer remained as usual nominal. She noted that Sameer had not visited the smoking spot even once during the whole month. Her tiffin still disappeared and reappeared, but she almost felt it to be absolutely normal happening now. One day she heard discussions in the canteen about Sameer’s birthday. Apparently it was two days away, and everyone was waiting to know in which hotel he would be throwing party this time. She got to know that each year on his birthday Sameer threw a lavish party, with music and dancing, and good food, and usually it would be in some upscale hotel. Everyone from college was always invited.

Monica crossed her legs, and twirled a strand of her hair as she announced confidently, “mujhe pata hai Sameer kahan party dega. Kanchikora me. Maine hi usko suggest kiya hai… aur tum log toh jaante hi ho ke Sameer meri har baat maanta hai.”

Naina scowled at her tiffin box, which today was filled with pav-bhaji. Of course Sameer would listen to Monica. Hadn’t she heard that he was attracted to her? She didn’t know why it would even matter to her where he threw a party; it wasn’t like she was going to attend.

In a few moments Sameer entered the canteen. Because she was looking at him, she caught him glance at her once before quickly looking away. Other students swarmed around him, enquiring about his birthday. He quieted everyone, and then made the most unexpected announcement, “iss baar main kisi hotel me celebrate nahi karunga. Mera last year hai iss college me, isiliye main yahin celebrate karna chahta hun.”

Naina’s head snapped up and she looked at him in surprise. He continued speaking, “aur iss baar main party bhi nahi dunga. Teen saal me itne toh dost bane honge mere jo saamne se mere liye kuch kare. Toh… main do din baad apne birthday pe music room me intezaar karunga.”

Having made the unusual announcement, he left from there, while everyone stood in shock. Sameer Maheshwari was not throwing a party. He was expecting others to celebrate his birthday for him. It didn’t make any sense to anyone.

Over the course of two days Naina overheard several conversations that told her that most of the people were not participating in Sameer’s crazy plan. It didn’t look like he had made any friends, Naina thought. Monica was mad at him, and told everyone that she had dumped the college stud, who didn’t even have enough money to celebrate his own birthday. Naina felt sad as she kept thinking how disappointed Sameer would feel. It shouldn’t matter to her… It shouldn’t matter to her… It shouldn’t matter to her… She kept chanting, but it was all futile as she imagined his sad face.

She wondered what to do. Knowing that she couldn’t take any help from Swati or Preeti, she turned for help to her neighbor and friend Shefali. On the day of his birthday, she sneaked out the small savings she had managed from several festivals and bought ingredients for a small cake. Shefali helped her bake it in her home. Naina also made some alu-paratha as she recalled he had loved the taste. By the time she was done with all preparations, it was late. Shefali helped her sneak out of the society, because if anyone from her family came to know that she had bunked the first-half of her college, she was doomed.

It was almost the end of break time when she reached college, and hurried to the music room. She had not even made an effort to dress up, but had worn the same pink churidaar that she was dressed in during their walk in the rain. Somehow that dress was even more special to her now. As she entered the music room, he almost seemed to be in a fit of rage, Munna and Pandit were trying to calm him. She placed the bag down and her bangles clinked at the motion; she saw him freeze for the briefest moment before swiftly turning around. As she watched him, his eyes widened, again something changed in those chocolate brown pools, and he seemed to hold his breath for a long minute before exhaling.

Shaking his head as if to clear it, he asked, “tum yahan?”

She hadn’t expected being interrogated by him. She glanced nervously at Munna and Pandit, who for some reason looked surprised, and then back at Sameer who was waiting expectantly for her answer. Biting her lip, she gathered courage, and wished, “umm… Happy Birthday Sameer.”

He slowly walked up to her, close enough to make her shiver, and whispered, “kyun?”

Anxiously trying to control her trembles, she told him how she had heard people saying that they wouldn’t do anything for his birthday. His voice had an edge when he asked, “taras aa raha hai mujhpe?”

She quickly looked up at him, surprised at the conclusion he had drawn. No one deserved to feel abandoned on their birthday. So she tried to overcome her nervousness and dared to explain, “nahi… bilkul nahi… main… main aapko wish karna chahti thi. Lekin agar aapne kisi hotel me party rakha hota toh main nahi aa paati. Isiliye mujhe khushi hui jab aapne kaha ke aap college me celebrate karenge. Aur aapka announcement itna ajeeb tha… fir maine sabki baate suni toh main bas yahi sochti rahi ke aap kitne udaas ho jayenge. Shayad koi aur kuch karta toh main aake sirf aapko wish karti, lekin kyunki mujhe pata tha ke koi nahi aayega isiliye maine thodi taiyari ki… toh usime der ho gai… Sorry.”

His voice was so low that even she had to strain to hear it as he asked, “kaisi taiyari?”

She knelt and brought out the small cake box from the bag. Opening it to reveal a round chocolate cake with vanilla icing, she again wished, “Happy Birthday.”

This time he smiled, and happiness bloomed in her heart too. As he accepted the box from her hands, their fingers brushed again, and it caused the same reaction inside her like before. He placed the box on a small table, amidst cheers from Munna and Pandit. Naina smiled as she pulled out a knife and a couple of candles from the bag. Pandit gave her a matchbox and she lighted the candles, “wish kariye aur bujhaiye.”

He closed his eyes, then opened them to look straight at her, and blew the candles. She watched him cut the cake, and feed Munna and Pandit, and they also fed him. But when he turned to her, she again became extremely nervous. He probably understood her hesitation, because he grabbed a paper plate from a small pile, and a plastic spoon too. Placing a piece of cake on the plate he came to her, and showed her the spoon, “isse toh kha sakti ho na?”

She smiled, touched by his understanding, and gained courage enough to scoop up a small bit with the spoon and hold it up for him, “pehle birthday boy.”

A wide grin flashed across his face as he leaned and accepted the cake, then tugged the spoon from her hand and used it to feed her too. She gladly accepted not even minding that they used the same spoon to feed each other.

Munna asked what was in the other box in the bag, and she mentioned about the alu-paratha. Sameer’s eyes lighted up at the mention, and the three friends quickly opened the box. She noticed the Sameer rolled up a paratha, just like she also used to eat. He offered her one, and she accepted, nibbling onto it as she watched him take large bites of his roll and again moan in pleasure. She didn’t know how to interpret the fuzzy warm feeling in her heart that came with the knowledge that he was enjoying the food cooked by her.

**********

Naina knew that Sameer never grilled anyone or asked anyone about the way people ignored him on his birthday. He still talked to everyone, he still laughed with everyone. Naina thought that if anything, his attitude was enough to make people feel guilty of their act. There wasn’t much difference in the way he behaved with her either; it wasn’t like they were suddenly the best of pals hanging around together. But he would talk to her more often than before; and now she found that she actually adored the way he teased her or made her mad. Sometimes instead of getting angry she would laugh at his antics. Often she had caught him staring at her for minutes at a stretch, and she still failed to interpret the expressions in his eyes.

Soon the exams ended, and the evening of the last exam was reserved for a farewell party for the third year students. Sameer was dressed in a jeans and black shirt, and she had put on a red churidaar unknowingly choosing the color as she recalled their first meeting. She tried a lot, but couldn’t enjoy the party. Something heavy seemed to settle in her heart as she realized that from now onwards she won’t be able to see him, he wouldn’t tease her, she wouldn’t catch a pair of brown eyes staring at her in canteen. He didn’t talk to her at all during the whole time, while she couldn’t stop herself from following his every move with helpless eyes. When the party was stretched after dinner she decided to leave, thinking that maybe for some reason he didn’t want to talk to her.  She was walking across the corridor leading to the outdoors, when she heard his voice calling out her name. Heart thudding she stopped and turned, watching him walk up to her. He came close to her, until there were just a few inches between them and she had to tilt her head back slightly to look up at him. He didn’t say anything, and even she didn’t feel the need of any words as she found that she was losing herself in those chocolate brown eyes that always reflected so many emotions. She didn’t know how long they stood there looking at each other, but she shivered when she felt his hand cup her cheek softly. She should have been scared but she wasn’t, no matter how close he was she had always felt perfectly safe with him. His thumb gently caressed the curve of her cheekbone, and he whispered, “apna dhyan rakhna.”

The parting words settled in her heart, causing some warm tears to spring in her eyes, but she blinked quickly to dash them away, and raised her own hand to place it on his palm that still cupped her cheek, “aap bhi apna dhyan rakhna.”

They stood there like that for some more time, before he pulled back and walked away dissolving into the dark corridor. She waited, trying to understand her own reaction, but then turned to leave for home.

**********

The remaining two years in college were not as adventurous or happening. It seemed some of the excitement in the college atmosphere was drained by Sameer’s departure. However, she noticed that the other students were perfectly normal so maybe it was only her who felt like that. She also understood that it was Sameer who would eat up her tiffin and replace it with other food; the deduction wasn’t exactly difficult because her tiffin never disappeared mysteriously in these two years. It took her only a few weeks of her second year to understand that every emotion, reaction and sensation that she had felt in that one year led to only one word – Love. Yes… she had fallen in love with Sameer Maheshwari without even realizing how and when it had happened.

The remaining part of the two years she tried very hard to forget him because she was sure that he didn’t love her. He might have liked her and even considered her a friend, cared for her, but not loved her. Otherwise he would have confessed, or talked to her, try to gauge her feelings… something… he would have done something. The inaction in itself told her that he harbored no such feelings for her. The only anomaly was the tiffin box… why would he steal it from her? And if he did why did he refill it with food? Had he liked her cooking so much? Had he known that she never had extra money to buy food for herself? She tried to get some answers to these questions, but never succeeded. But these questions would rear their heads whenever she determinedly thought of forgetting him.

**********

On the day her third year final examinations ended, she returned from her own farewell party, and Tauji happily announced the he had fixed her marriage into a very good family. Her world almost crashed down. She thought of her career dreams and of her poor heart that hadn’t been able to stop loving Sameer… Marriage… How could she marry someone while loving another? But she knew her family… they wouldn’t accept her love, and how could she even fight without knowing if Sameer reciprocated her feelings. She knew that Tauji wouldn’t break an alliance that he had fixed at any cost. She felt numb with shock, and found it nearly impossible to react.

However, another shock awaited her when Chachiji gave her the photograph of the supposed prospective groom. It was none other than Sameer Maheshwari. How was it possible? Her marriage was fixed to him? How? Why? Did this mean that he also wanted to marry her? Or was it all family dealings? When she was told that the groom and his family would come to meet her the next day, she could only nod. Next day… next day she would be seeing Sameer after two years… That was all she could think of as she fell asleep.

Next morning, at 11am, dressed in a green and red saree she was brought out of her room, and made to sit on a chair. As taught and expected, she folded her hands to greet a person, but her eyes rounded in surprise when she saw that it was her school trustee who had awarded her the scholarship. He smiled affectionately at her, and said how proud he was of her achievements and good scores in college. How would he know her scores, she wondered briefly. But then her eyes shifted to the person beside him, and it was the same scenario all over again. It was as if the two years gap was never there. He still looked at her in the same way, his eyes still held the myriad of emotions, and she still lost herself in them.

Soon she was sent inside a room to talk with him, and even though she wanted to talk about so many things she found herself unable to do so. He smiled at her condition, and sat down next to her. As if he had complete right to do so, he held her hand, and started speaking, “mujhe pata hai tum bahot kuch puchna chahti ho, aur main bhi tumhe bahot kuch batana chahta hun. Lekin gharwale hume zyada waqt denge nahi. Isiliye main tumse abhi sirf do sawaal puchna chahta hun… aur iska jawaab mujhe sunna hai… okay?”

She kept staring at him and agreed, “okay.”

He squeezed her hand gently, “tumhe mujhpe bharosa hai?”

She didn’t have to think before answering, “haan.”

Satisfaction gleamed in the depth of his eyes, and he asked the second question, “mujhse shaadi karogi?”

Again she didn’t have to think as she knew she could only love him and no one else. So she simply answered, “haan.” Elation and triumph was added to the satisfaction in his eyes.

Exactly one month later from that day, she was Mrs. Naina Sameer Maheshwari. And now all her apprehension and questions returned as she was brought into his huge room by a few women. Minutes later when she heard the door open and relock, she trembled with uncertainty. She was married to the man she loved, but she still hadn’t told him that and neither had he told her anything.

Sameer came to her, lifted her ghunghat and she was greeted with a familiar smirk. He snapped his fingers in-front of her face, and teased, “tum toh bada taiyar hokar bethi ho. Thik se sun lo… jab tak pyaar ka izhaar nahi karogi, yeh sab kuch nahi hone wala. Aur aaj raat toh bilkul nahi… Andaaza bhi hai tumhe ke hume kitni baate karni hai? Chalo utho aur change karlo.”

She was terribly confused as he almost pushed inside the bathroom to change, and there inside another surprise awaited her. Her pink churidaar was hanging from a hook on the wall, and her usual bangles and earrings were also placed on the sink counter. She felt as if she was literally drained of every word, as she changed out of her wedding attire and into the pink churidaar.

He had changed and was waiting for her and indicated her to sit beside him when she came out. She obeyed… He waited in silence giving her the right to ask. She thought of the multitude of questions in her mind, but everything boiled down to one, and so just like he had asked her on his birthday, she asked today, “kyun?”

He smiled, “kyunki main tumse pyaar karta hun… I love you Naina.”

Her eyes rounded in surprise even as her heart started to race. Oh God. She had wondered and thought so much about whether this marriage was happening only because of families, or because he too wanted it. But never had she thought that he would straightaway confess his love for her. Sameer Maheshwari loved her? How did it happen? When? Feeling the need for answers she asked in a whisper, “kabse?”

He took her hand his, and started playing with her bangles, “jabse pehli baar tumhari aankhon me dekha… usi din jis din tumne mera muh todne ki puri planning ki thi.”

She gasped as she recalled their first meeting. Was he really telling her that he had fallen in love with her at first sight? She shook her head in disbelief.

He chuckled on seeing her reaction, “haan… mujhe bhi aisa hi laga tha. Main kaise pyaar kar sakta hun? Woh bhi uss ladki se jisne college ke hero ko ek nazar palatke nahi dekha.” He laughed out at his own thoughts, “lekin Naina, saara kasur tumhare aankhon ka hai. Jab bhi dekhta hun kho jaata hun. Aur fir tumhara woh ‘aap’ bolna… Main toh chaunk gaya tha. Fir jab tum bhaag rahi thi wahan se main bas dekhta hi raha… tumhara dupatta, chudiyan, khule baal. Tumhara yeh pink wala churidaar toh mera favorite hai, isiliye Preeti se kehke alag se mangva liya tha.”

She looked down at her attire, and asked in disbelief, “yeh sab aapko achcha lagta hai? Toh fir mera mazaak kyun udaya tha pehle din?”

He frowned, “maine mazaak nahi udaya bilkul bhi… lekin pure college ke saamne aisa thodi bol sakta tha ke tum dance nahi karogi kyunki tumhari sandal tuti hui hai.” He paused for a moment as if recollecting that day, and added, “ek wajah aur thi. Main nahi chahta tha ke tum kisike bhi saamne dance karo.”

Warmth filled inside her heart, and she smiled to herself remembering how she had felt in her heart that he had saved her that day from being teased, and not made fun of her. But there was still so much more to know, so she asked, “lekin aapne kabhi kuch kaha kyun nahi? Itne din… kabhi toh batate. Aur… aur woh… umm… maine suna tha ke aap aur Monica…”

His loud laughter stopped her ramble, and she stared at him curiously wondering what was so hilarious. Few moments later he sobered down, and turned so that he was sitting with one leg folded on bed, facing her fully, “Sabse pehle Monica ko side me hatate hai… Mere aur uske beech me kabhi kuch nahi tha. Haan, mujhe pata hai woh saare college me dhindora peet ti thi ke main uska boyfriend hun, lekin mujhe kabhi bhi usme koi interest nahi tha. Asli baat toh yeh hai ke jis din usne tumhara mazak udaya tha college me usi din usne… umm… usne mujhe propose kiya, aur mere muh se nikal gaya ke main tumko pasand karta hun. Isiliye woh tumko itna pareshan karti thi…”

“Oh”, she uttered in surprise, and she felt very light suddenly. All these three years she had kept on thinking that Sameer liked Monica, but now finally she knew it wasn’t true at all.

He lifted his hand to pick up a strand of her open hair, and rubbed it between his fingers, feeling the silkiness, “rahi baat tumse kuch kehne ki… toh… mere saath yeh sab pehli baar ho raha tha. Ajeeb sa ehsaas tha. Main roz college aane laga sirf tumhe dekhne… Tumse nazre churake tumhara pura schedule pata laga rakha tha college me… kab tum library jaati ho, konse classes tumko pasand hai, activities me kya karti ho… sab kuch. Maine dekha tha tum kaise sirf Swati ke saath rehti thi, kabhi kisi group me nahi… Bahot logo se baat bhi nahi karti thi, kyunki tumhe yeh sab pasand hi nahi tha… Agar tum meri dost bhi hoti toh pure college ke nazar me aa jaati. Isiliye main bas kabhi kabhi tumse baat karne aata tha. Lekin baki saara waqt meri nazre tumpe hi hoti thi.”

She processed the new information, and realized he was right. She never liked to be in the limelight, which is why she never made a lot of friends too. Being with Sameer Maheshwari would have surely put her in focus of entire college. He tilted his head, and smiled, “tumko andaaza bhi nahi hai kitni mehnat karni padti thi mujhe. Khaas kar ke tumhara tiffin churane me.”

She chuckled, “mujhe pata chal gaya tha ke woh aap hi churaate the… kyunki aapke jaane ke baad se mera tiffin kabhi chori nahi hua.”

He grinned, “Mrs. Maheshwari… main yeh chahta tha ke tumko pata chale. Kyunki meri baaki saari harkate toh tum samajh bhi nahi paati thi.”

Puzzled, she queried, “kaisi harkate?”

He chuckled, “tumse ulti-seedhi baate karna, tumhare dupatte se apna muh saaf karna… main tumhe itne kareeb se dekhta tha ke pehle din jab tumhara tiffin khaya tabhi samajh gaya tha ke tumhare paas extra paise nahi hai… isiliye tumhare dabbe me dusra khana bhar deta tha. Fir uss din baarish me sirf tumhe sahi-salaamat ghar chodne ke liye apni bike khichke saath chal raha tha… meri bike kharab nahi hui thi. Tum uss din auto me gai uske baad bhi main peeche peeche aaya tha yeh dekhne ke tum thik se ghar pahonchi ke nahi. Aur mera birthday party… main jaanta tha ke tum kisi hotel me nahi aaogi. Isiliye maine college me celebrate kiya. Main apna birthday tumhare saath manana chahta tha, isiliye woh announcement kiya. Aur main yeh bhi jaanta tha ke uss announcement ke baad Munna Pandit ke alawa mere saath koi nahi hoga uss din, kyunki baki log sirf mere naam aur paise ke wajah se mere saath the. Lekin uss din tum itni late aai ke kuch pal ke liye mujhe laga tum aaogi hi nahi, isiliye main itne gusse me tha. Tum jaanti ho… main jaan-boojhkar tumhara tiffin churata tha… khana toh achcha lagta hi tha tumhare haatho ka, lekin ek wajah yeh bhi thi ke mere jaaneke baad yeh ek hi cheez thi jo tumko uljhaye rakhti… main jaanta tha tum samajh jaogi ke woh insaan main hi tha aur sochti rahogi ke main kyun aisa karta tha, mera iraada kya tha. Yahi sawaal hoga jo tumhe mujhe bhulne nahi dega, tum chahogi toh bhi nahi.”

It was so hard to believe whatever she was hearing, but still somewhere it made sense to her, all those incidents which she had felt to be so odd now suddenly fit into a bigger picture. Still she asked the biggest question that bothered her, “aapne pehle din, pehle hafte ya pehle mahine me bhi mujhe kuch nahi bataya yeh samajh me aata hai. Lekin uske baad kyun nahi?”

He sighed, and tried to explain, “Naina… main naa sunne se darr raha tha. Mujhe nahi pata tha ke tum mere baare me kya feel karti ho. Main jab bhi tumhare kareeb hota tha toh man karta tha tumko gale laga lu aur sab keh du. Lekin tumhari aankhon me main padh hi nahi paa raha tha ke tum kya mehsoos kar rahi ho. Jis din baarish me saath chale uss din pehli baar laga ke mere kareeb hone se tumhe farq padta hai. Fir mere birthday pe tumne itni mehnat ki toh mujhe yaqeen ho gaya ke tumko meri parvah hai, meri khushi ki fikar hai. Aur farewell ke din laga ke haan, ab jaake tumhari aankhon me pyaar nazar aa raha hai mujhe.”

Suddenly he stood up and went to the window, staring outside at the moon, then turned and leaned on the sill, “uss ek saal mein mujhe tumhare parivaar ke baare me bhi pata chala. Zydatar tumhari aur Swati ki baate sunkar. Fir ek din Nanu me mujhse kaha ke graduation ke baad woh meri shaadi ka sochna chahte hai, isiliye maine unko tumhare baare me bata diya. Nanu mujhe pick up karne ke bahane tumhe dekhne college aaye, aur jaise hi unhone tumko aur Swati ko dekha, woh turant tumhe pehchaan gaye. Fir unhone mujhe tumahre parivaar ke baare me thoda bahot aur bataya, khaas kar tumhare papa ke baare me. Aur main samajh gaya, ke tum jis maahol me badi hui ho, shayad chahkar bhi pyaar ke baare me nahi soch paa rahi, aur naa hi tumhare ghar wale love marriage ki manzuri denge. Isiliye maine tay kiya ke tumhara college khatam hone tak intezaar karunga, aur fir shaadi ka rishta leke aaunga. Mujhe bhi thoda waqt chahiye tha… iss kabil banne ke liye ke main tumhe khush rakh saku, shaadi ki zimmedari le saku. Tumhare liye badalna toh college me hi shuru kar diya tha… cigarette peena bandh kar diya kyunki mujhe pata tha ke tumhe pasand nahi. Fir inn do saalo me factory me mehnat kiya aur dhedh saal ke andar andar business ka saara kaam sambhal liya. Nanu paanch mahine pehle hi retire huye, aur mujhe pura kaarobaar saunp diya. Do saal me tumse kabhi nahi mila, lekin jab bhi pareshan hota tha tumhari ek jhalak dekhne chala aata tha.”

Naina felt so overwhelmed that she could even say anything. It amazed her that someone would do so much for her, that someone would understand her so well, that someone would wait so long just to be with her. He was staring at her as if waiting for more questions, but she didn’t think there was anything more she could ask. His every word had spoken of the deep love he felt for her. As unbelievable as it seemed, it was her life’s reality. Sameer Maheshwari did love her; and that too more than anyone ever had. She wiped the few tears from her eyes and said, “mujhe samajh nahi aa raha ke main aapse kya kahu.”

He smiled, “jo maine kaha tha sabse pehle uska jawaab de do… aur kuch nahi chahiye.”

Her heart beat faster than it ever had, yet she knew that she could say it to him, because if he had loved her all this time, she too had done the same. Her lips only trembled a little as she gazed into those luminous expressive chocolate eyes and said, “I love you too Sameer.”

His breath whooshed audibly as his stance relaxed, and soon the familiar glitter shone in his eyes as he spread his arms, “ek cheez aur chahiye…”

She blushed immediately at his demand, but gathered courage and stood up. He had already waited so long for her, and so had she for him; she didn’t think that either of them should be waiting for any longer. With each step she took towards her husband’s waiting arms, her courage increased, and she felt sure that she was heading to a bright and happy future. Finally, after three years his arms closed around her, and her head rested on his chest; they enveloped each other as warmly as a butterfly’s cocoon, as softly as a silken sheath, and yet tight enough to convey how much they mattered to each other. As their souls seeped in love, their hearts beat with a promise of lifetime, they knew this was the beginning of everything.