A Love Story: Then and Now

Now

One year later, another house was decked up like a bride, the festivities surpassing the ones at Nirmal Jyoti society. The huge gates were lighted up, the entire lawn dotted with figurines, the bushes sported fairy lights, and the huge white bungalow gleamed with different colors of lights and assorted flowers. The interior was also decorated, though it was much simpler than the exterior. One room upstairs was full of flowers, it seemed someone had picked them up from some field and had been unable to decide which ones to select. There was a huge arrangement of roses on the desk, carnations sprung from the corners of furniture, but the ones that stood out were the jasmine… sprigs of night jasmine along with their leaves adorned the curtains, and looms of it were surrounding the bed as well. The smell was heavenly…

On the bed, a woman sat dressed up in bridal lehenga, with a veil over her head, waiting for her husband to come in. She couldn’t help but sneak glances at the picture on the opposite wall. He looked so handsome… Sameer Maheshwari… She was married to Sameer Maheshwari… She was Mrs. Naina Sameer Maheshwari… The name felt so alien whenever she thought about it. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined to be married to him.

It was just one year ago that Sameer had attended her brother’s wedding. He had been almost a stranger to her, apart from the few interactions during those days. After that in college she had never talked to him, and neither had he tried to do so. She still remembered that one day when she had almost collided with him in the college corridor, and to avoid bumping into each other they had twirled on the spot. Her mind had flashed to a similar instance at her home, and she had smiled at him, asked him how he was. For a moment, his gaze had softened, he had smiled back, and his hand had lifted as if he wanted to touch her… But then, he had shaken his head, murmured a curse under his breath and ran away from there. She had been so puzzled, but she hadn’t asked him again. During those days, she had also heard Urvi telling her friends how insensitive Sameer was, and that he didn’t deserve her. That’s the way she had known that that relationship hadn’t worked out.

Her life had continued as usual, busy with studies, getting scolded by Taiji… One thing that had changed was that those notes she had received during her brother’s wedding had made her realize that she may not be beautiful, but maybe someday, somewhere, there would be someone who would appreciate and accept her for what she was. Those notes had stayed hidden in her diary, and after that she had started to pay a little more attention to herself. She actually spent some time to get ready, to look after her skin, to try out small pieces of jewelry, to improve her dressing sense. She hadn’t turned into a heroine, but she had started to feel good about herself. Maybe that’s why when her family had proposed to get her married, she hadn’t been scared. Even though she would have liked to wait until college ended, she had accepted that it might not be possible to do so, and the best she could do was try and continue her education after wedding, and that was what she had told Chachaji.

She had thought that there would be hardly any matches that would come for her, after all Taiji did keep telling how hard it would be to get her married, especially given her looks and her father’s obvious lack of money. But she had been surprised when within two weeks she had met two different boys… The prospect was tiring, she hadn’t liked the way the boys and their family had questioned her about everything, or the way her looks and skills were scrutinized. But she had tried to go along with the flow. One of those boys had refused for the alliance; the second one had asked for repeat meeting but she had refused and thankfully Chachaji had listened to her wish. There had been a gap of a week, and then she had been shocked to know about an alliance from a boy called Akshay Gupta.

Akshay studied in third year of their college, but she had never talked to him, she only knew him by face because he was a class topper every year. That meeting had been better than the previous two, and when next day Akshay’s family had asked for meeting once more over the weekend, she had said yes. However, before the weekend arrived, another alliance knocked on the door of her life, and this time the word shock was an understatement. Not just her, but even her family was stunned to hear that the richest businessman in Ahmedabad, Mr. Jaiprakash Maheshwari, wanted to meet Naina with a wedding proposal of his grandson Sameer Maheshwari.

After the initial shock had passed Tauji had jumped at this opportunity, and the meeting had been fixed immediately. Naina had felt as if she was in a trance, as her family gave her extra set of instructions, which included Taiji’s special, “bade khandani log aa rahe hai… Unke saamne hamari naak mat katwana.” She wasn’t even allowed to go to college that day, but rather had been made to sit with layers of ubtan on her face, neck and hands. In evening, a rather heavy saree was given to her, and she also had to put on much heavier jewelry than normal. It seemed everyone wanted this alliance to be done, but Naina was not so sure…

She had had many doubts – Why would such a rich family send alliance for her? Why would a boy like Sameer agree to meet her? Sameer Maheshwari could have had any girl he wanted, then why her? Given her family’s persistence if this alliance was fixed then what would it translate into for her? She had feared that she would be expected to be dressed up like a doll all the time, attend boring business parties, be loaded with make-up always, attend kitty parties, and several other stuff that she had seen in movies. Also, Taiji’s words had kept haunting her and she had truly believed she didn’t deserve to be married to some rich, good-looking man. She had been sure that her family, especially her father, wouldn’t be able afford this alliance.

When the Maheshwaris had arrived, it had been a puzzling surprise for Naina because it was just Sameer and his grandfather. She had wondered why his parents hadn’t come, and the best guess she had made was that a part of his family wasn’t willing for the alliance. Naturally… who would be? That’s why the burning question in her mind had been why Sameer had agreed… To her astonishment, Mr. Maheshwari hadn’t queried much about her, the questions had been limited to her education and hobbies. No question about if she could cook, how she was with household chores, no demand of singing, and thankfully no requests of applying more ubtans to improve her skin tone.

Finally after a round of tea, she had been sent off back in the room, this time along with Sameer. There had been a prolonged silence, heavy with questions, but no explanation, and then he had asked, “tum aaj itna kyun taiyar hui ho?”

She had blinked in surprise, looking up at him, “kya?”

He had pointed to her saree, “yeh bhari saree, gehne… yeh sab toh tumhe pasand nahi hai na.”

Her confusion had increased, “tumhe kaise pata ke mujhe pasand nahi yeh sab?”

“Main roz dekhta hun tumko”, he had replied as if it was obvious, “tumhe simple kapde pasand hai… elegant… yeh sab bhari-bharkam cheeze nahi.”

Still a bit stunned, she had said, “aaj tum log shaadi ke liye milne aa rahe the isiliye Chachiji ne diya.”

He had shrugged, “toh? Shaadi ke baad tum roz bhari kapde thodi na pehnogi… naa hi itze zevar pehnogi aur naa hi itna makeup… dekho na… main toh aisai shirt-pant pehenke aa gaya.”

That was when she had looked at him properly. He had dressed up in black trousers, and a checkered deep blue-white shirt, but still managed to look incredibly handsome. And that was what she had told him, “tumhe taiyar honeki kya zaroorat. Tum toh hamesha hi achche dikhte ho.”

He had suddenly flashed a grin, “thanks… tum bhi…”

She had frowned, “mujhe jhooth bolne wale ladke pasand nahi.”

He had looked genuinely puzzled, “main jhooth nahi bol raha… Tum apne normal kapdo me bhi khoobsurat lagti ho.”

She had rolled her eyes, irked at what she considered a lie, and instead asked, “tum yahan kya kar rahe ho Sameer? Kya chahte ho?”

He had smiled, “umm… hum shaadi ki baat karne ke liye mil rahe hai… Toh obvious hai, ke main tumse shaadi karna chahta hun.”

And that had unleashed a barrage of questions from her, “tum bhala mujhse kyun shaadi karna chahoge? Tum… tum… Sameer Maheshwari ho… Tumhe koi bhi ladki mil sakti hai, toh mere jaisi ladki se tum kyun milne aaye ho? Apne Nanaji ki ichcha poori kar rahe ho bas, aur baad me naa bol doge, haina? Kyunki agar yeh sab sach me hota toh tumhare mummy-papa bhi aate, woh toh aaye nahi, matlab yeh sab bas ek dikhawa hai, right? College ki behenji se mil lo, phir mana kar do, aur kal dosto ke saath milke mazak udao… Yahi plan hai na? Mera parivaar tum logo ke status ka nahi hai… mere papa ke paas itne paise nahi hai ke woh apni beti ki shaadi tumse karwane ka sapna bhi dekhe, phir kyun yeh sab kar rahe ho? Tum jaante ho achche se ke main yeh sab deserve nahi karti, phir bhi…”

“Bas Naina”, he had interrupted her rant with a raised hand, “bas ho gaya.” She had been surprised at his sharp tone, and looked up to see his eyes sparkling with anger. He had seemed to struggle for a moment, before closing his eyes, taking a deep breath, and then had asked in a low voice, “tumhare saare sawaal ka jawaab dunga… pehle yeh batao ke ‘tumhari jaisi ladki’ ka kya matlab hai? Aur tumhe aisa kyun lagta hai ke tum yeh sab deserve nahi karti?” She had stayed silent for a long moment, and then he had opened his eyes, demanding in a piercing tone, “answer me”, and then added softly, “please Naina…”

She had stood up then, finding it difficult to face him, and slowly answered, “mujhe pata hai main achchi nahi dikhti… phir bhi tumne jhooth bola ke main sundar lagti hun. School me, college me, yahan tak ke mere ghar me sab yahi kehte hai ke meri shakal achchi nahi hai… mujhse koi shaadi nahi karna chahega, ya meri shaadi honeme bahot rukawat aayegi. Ek toh khoobsurti nahi hai, upar se papa ke paas paise nahi hai toh zyada dahej bhi nahi de sakte. Aise me tum mujhe dekhne aaye ho… Ek aisa ladka jo galti se fati hui pant pehenke aa jaaye toh shayad woh bhi fashion trend ban jaaye… Tum handsome ho, ameer ho… Sab kehte hai sabse eligible bachelor ho… Tum jaisa ladka mujhse kyun shaadi karna chahega. Taiji kehti hai ke meri kundli jali hui hai, toh phir meri shaadi tum jaise ladke se kaise ho sakti hai…”

After spilling her heart out she had just stood there, her eyes closed, waiting for him to say that she was right and he should leave now. But instead she had heard his voice directly behind her, “aankhen kholo Naina.” Jerking in shock she had opened her eyes, and had been blessed with the view of them in mirror, he was standing exactly behind her. Before she could turn, he had said, “aaine me theek se dekho… Sab kehte aaina sach dikhata hai, par asliyat me aaina wahi dikhata hai jo hum dekhna chahte. Tumhe dikh raha hoga ek handsome ladka aur ek average dikhne wali ladki, par jaanti ho mujhe kya dikh raha hai… Ek ladki jisne kabhi theek se khud ko dekha hi nahi, aur ek ladka jise kisi aur ne kabhi theek se dekha nahi.”

Her brows had furrowed, “matlab…”

“Aao betho”, he had gently said, and then sat himself on the chair again, “Main yahan aake Nanu ki koi ichcha poori nahi kar raha… main yahan tumse milne aaya, kyunki main aana chahta tha. Mere papa ab iss duniya me nahi hai, main bahot chota tha tab hi chal base… mujhe toh unki shakal bhi yaad nahi. Meri mummy ne doosri shaadi kar li jab main paanch saal ka tha, aur woh Delhi me rehti hai. Unki shaadi ke baad se main hostel me raha hun… Par 16 saal ka hua tab ek din hostel se bhaag ke Nanu ke paas aa gaya, aur tabse Ahmedabad mera ghar hai. Zaahir si baat hai ke mere aur mummy ke beech me kuch khaas rishta hai nahi, isiliye woh yahan nahi hai.”

Her eyes had widened in shock, and she had felt guilty of the questions she had asked, the accusations she had laid. “I am so sorry”, she had apologized.

He had shook his head, “it’s okay… normal hai yeh sawaal… Koi bhi ladki mere parents ke baare me puchti hi… Aur main yeh baat chupana nahi chata, aur naa hi mujhe koi sympathy chahiye. Ab… tumhare baaki ke sawaal… mujhe pata hai tumko college me sab tease karte hai… Tumhari Taiji tumhe kitna bolti hai yeh bhi maine Arjun ki shaadi me suna tha… Lekin mujhe yeh nahi pata tha ke tum jaisi intelligent aur smart ladki inn sab baato ko sach maan legi. Main tumhara mazak udaneki soch bhi nahi sakta… Aur main kisi bhi ladki ke saath aisa ganda mazak nahi karunga ke shaadi jaisi badi baat ke liye jhooth-mooth ka milu. Maana mujhme kai kamiya hai, par dil ka bura nahi hun.”

She had had to smile at that, “kamiya?”

He had nodded, “haan… tum college ki topper ho, aur main shayad peeche se first aata hun. Tum ghar ke saare kaam itne achche se kar leti ho, aur mujhe toh paani ubalna tak nahi aata. Tum itna achcha dance karti ho, aur main… umm… main bhi kar hi leta hun, yeh point cancel.”

This time she had laughed a bit, “yeh sab tum kya bol rahe ho… yeh toh aam si baat hai…”

“Really?” He had quirked a brow, “let’s say mere paas paise nahi hote, aur sach me nahi hai… jo kuch bhi hai Nanu ka hai… Ab socho, college khatam honeke baad hum dono me se naukri kise mil sakti hai? – Tumhe… Higher studies ke liye admission kise mile sakta hai? – Tumhe… Kal agar akela rehna pade, toh kaun ghar me sab kuch sambhal sakta hai? – Tum… Jinhe tum mamuli baate keh rahi ho, mere liye wahi mere life-partner ke best qualities hai. Aur batau toh, tumhare me patience hai, samajh hai, aur bahot saare gunn hai… Jabki main ziddi hun, adiyal hun, gussewala hun, shararti hun. Sirf shakal achche honese kya hota hai, dil bhi toh achcha hona chahiye na… Aur jahan tak maine dekha hai, tumse saaf man kisi aur ka nahi hai… Warna ek anjaan ladke ka haath jal jaane pe tum usko marham nahi deti…”

She had recollected their earlier encounters, and a soft smile had bloomed on her face. He had continued, “tum chahe apne aap ko kuch bhi samjho, par agar meri nazar se dekhogi toh samajh aayega ke tum kya ho, kaisi ho… Mere liye toh bilkul perfect ho. Theek usi tarah, shayad agar tum koshish karo meri shakal ko ignore karneki toh mujhe samajh pao. Aur haan… fashion trend ho ya naa ho, main kabhi fate hue pant nahi pehnunga.”

A surprised giggle had escaped her mouth, and she had stared at him, thinking about the recent conversation, and the brief encounters they had had during her brother’s wedding. For the first time ever, she had tried to think of him as something beyond a handsome face, and slowly she had noticed how hard he had worked here despite being from such a rich family, how he had been always so polite while talking to her, how the other boys had sometimes laughed on her but he had never done that. He had said he was short tempered, but she had just now witnessed him control his anger and instead ease her doubts in a calm and sensible manner. He had said he was stubborn, but she had witnessed him adjusting as he had sat with her on the floor to count coins, and now try to explain his thoughts to her rather than just stating them. Slowly, she had started to believe that maybe this wasn’t as impossible as she had thought it to be. But one doubt still remained, and so she asked, “par hamare families… mera matlab… social status… yeh sab baate shaadi me bahot maaine rakhti hai.”

He hadn’t been perturbed at all as he had replied, “yeh baate tabhi maaine rakhti hai jab hum inhe maaine rakhne de. Nanu ko ya mujhe kuch nahi chahiye… Agar paiso ke liye shaadi karni hoti toh main yahan aata hi nahi… Paise main khud kama lunga, mujhe bas ek aisi life-partner chahiye jo mujhe samjhe, saaf man ki ho, Nanu ki izzat kare, aur jiske liye shaadi uske sapno ka ant nahi balki ek nayi shuruwat ho.”

“Sapne?” She had queried. He had smiled, “haan… tumhare sapne nahi hai kuch? Shaadi ke baad kya sirf ghar sambhalna chahti ho? Aur agar woh chahti bhi toh woh bhi galat nahi hai… Bas main yeh jaanna chahta hun ke Naina kya chahti hai… Naina Agarwal ya Naina Maheshwari nahi, sirf Naina…”

Her breath had hitched as she had understood what he was asking. Could she…? Was it okay for her to dream then? Could she tell him? Gazing into his eyes, she had dared to confess, “umm… main padhai bandh nahi karna chahti… Graduation khatam karna hai… Aur uske baad main koi choti si naukri karna chahti hun… socha nahi kya, par kuch karna hai.”

He had grinned, “maine Nanu se kaha tha… I knew it… Of course tum graduation khatam karogi. Meri padhai toh kuch mahino me khatam ho jayegi, phir main office join karunga, par tumhe college pakka chodne aaunga. Aur graduation ke baad tumhe jo naukri karni hai karna… chaho toh office bhi join kar sakti ho… I am sure, tum business me bhi koi alag nazariya leke aaogi.”

She had blinked, for a moment unable to believe what she was hearing. He was talking as if they were surely getting married… And why did it make her heart race? Softly, she had mumbled, “ab tak shaadi tay nahi hui hai…”

He had laughed, “meri taraf se haan hai… aur mujhe pata hai tum bhi haan bologi.” When she had narrowed her eyes, he had explained, “meri shakal dekhke nahi… par hamare beech me jo baate hui usse main sure ho gaya.”

She had been confused, “kaise? Humne toh normal baate ki hi nahi… ek dusre ki pasand-napasand, ya expectations…”

He had leaned a bit towards her, increasing the pace of her heartbeats, “yeh sab jaanne ke liye toh poori zindagi padi hai… main toh bas isiliye sure hun kyunki tum bina kisi formality ke seedhe mujhpe baras padi… Tum hi socho Naina… mujhse pehle jo ladke tumhe dekhne aaye the, kya tumne unse aise baat ki thi? Tumhara gussa, tumhare sawaal… yeh sab iss baat ki nishaani the ke hum dono anjaan toh nahi hai… Kuch toh hai… Ya shayad, bahot kuch hai…”

Her eyes had widened in surprise, and it had taken her a minute to realize that he was right. She hadn’t ever talked this way to any of the previous boys… She had sat docilely, answered their questions, asked a few of her own, but had never even looked in their eyes or smiled. But she had literally argued with Sameer, she had smiled at him, laughed with him, and more than that she had confessed her fears and dreams. Was he different then? Why had she done that? As she had sat there lost in thoughts, he had softly said, “Naina… shayad tumhare man me aur sawaal honge, aur tum jab chaho mujhse kuch bhi puch sakti ho… par filhaal main bas itna kahunga ke, mujhe tum pasand ho… main tumse sach me shaadi karna chahta hun. Lekin tum apna waqt lo, socho aur tum jaisa bologi hum waisa bahar bolenge… Agar tum… uh… aisa chahti ho ke hum wapas mile, aur tum phirse uss… uss… Akshay se bhi milo, toh bhi mujhe koi problem nahi.”

She had been able to see how difficult it was for him to say that last line, and once again it had taken her by surprise for two reasons… First, she hadn’t been able to comprehend that Sameer Maheshwari was feeling jealous or maybe possessive. Second, she had totally forgotten about Akshay and the impending meeting with him. Unable to string her thoughts, she had stammered, “main… uh…”

“It’s okay”, he had gently interrupted, “tum soch lo… main bahar jau?”

She had shaken her head, “bahar jaoge toh sab puchenge…”

He had thought for a minute, and then proposed, “phir main thodi der balcony me khada rehta hun.” And before she had been able to approve or reject the idea, he had stood and walked by her. She had closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, and the subtle smell of his cologne had hit her, causing some strange reactions in her body. As he had stood outside, she had replayed their whole conversation in her head… The way she had been angry on him for imaginative reasons, the accusations, the freedom with which she had argued with him… When she had seen the anger in his eyes she hadn’t been scared at all because she had somehow known he wouldn’t hurt her. When he had said she was perfect for him, she had felt happy… She hadn’t known what all was required to know before getting married… But she had known that Sameer was hardly the boy she had perceived him to be, and even though she had known and observed many things about him before, all of that had been clouded with her own preconceived notions. Kuch toh hai… She had thought of his words and tried to piece together what she had felt in that moment.

Unable to make sense of anything, she had stood up and gone near the balcony door, staring at his profile as he stood facing the sunset, his broad hands spanning the railing. She had thought he always looked so good, but that day, in that moment she had truly seen him beyond his appearance and known that he was a good man. She hadn’t known many facts about him, but in that moment she had felt a happy vibe at the prospect of being with him. As if sensing her, he had turned around, and then smiled, “kya dekh rahi ho?”

“Tumhe”, the answer had escaped her lips before she could control.

He had looked surprised, and then smirked, “so… kuch socha?”

Once again she had let her heart answer, “kuch khaas nahi… par itna pata hai Akshay se dobara nahi milna…”

The happiness on his face had been instant, and he had queried, “aur mujhse? Agar aur time chahiye toh please bolo… Aur… yeh tumhare gharwale koi bulane kyun nahi aaye? Baaki sabke saath bhi itna time diya tha?”

She had chuckled, “nahi… shayad tum alag ho.”

He had paused for a moment, and then asked, “tumhare liye bhi?”

It had taken her few minutes to gather courage and then she had nodded. Elated he had stepped forward and almost hugged her, but had then withdrawn at the last moment, “uhh… sorry… excitement…” To cover up what had almost happened, he had quickly queried, “toh… kaise kare? Umm… mera matlab… wapas milna hai weekend pe? Ya… I don’t know kya procedure hota hai…”

She had blushed, adjusted her hair, trying not to meet his eyes, “tum… tum haan bolne wale ho na?”

“Of course”, he had replied promptly, “itna khush hun ke kaho toh yahi se chillake bhi bol sakta hun.”

She had chuckled, “umm… nahi… bahar jaake tum Nanaji… uh… Nanu ko bol do… Main chachiji ko bol dungi.”

He had laughed softly and teased, “pehle mujhse toh kaho Naina…”

She had been puzzled for a moment… And then he had extended his hand, gazing into her eyes, and had gently asked, “Naina… kya tum mujhse shaadi karogi?”

Her heart had thudded at his gesture… No one had ever asked her of her wish, but he was standing there, waiting for her to speak… A passive acceptance hadn’t been enough for him; he had wanted her to spell it out to him… And his extended hand had seemed like an invitation of a roller coaster ride; a future full of thrill, happiness and sometimes turbulence too… But he was promising to hold her hand throughout… What more could a girl want…? Nothing… And so she had placed her trembling hand in his, and accepted with a smile, “Haan… main tumse shaadi karungi Sameer.”

The brilliant happiness in his eyes, the grin on his face and his enthusiastic ‘yes’ had made her laugh, and also made her heart race with a feeling unknown to her. After that, a few days had seemed like a total blur to her. Everyone in her family had been overjoyed with the alliance, especially her brother Arjun who hadn’t been able to stop telling people that her sister was getting married to his friend. The date for wedding had been fixed within a month; Naina had felt it was too soon, but one look at Sameer’s happy face and all her apprehension had eased. It had been discussed that her college would be stopped, at least until wedding, but both Nanu and Sameer had opposed this. Sameer had clearly stated that they both were getting married, so if he was attending college then she should too; and when her family had mentioned that it didn’t look good for the girl to go and also it wasn’t safe, Nanu had proposed that Sameer would pick her up and drop her back at home. And so had started the daily trips… Sameer had started bringing his car, pick her up in morning, and then they would go to college together. The first day of such a trip had caused commotion in college, and she had literally tried to avoid meeting anyone’s gaze. On that same day Akshay had cornered her alone near the library and asked why she had refused after saying yes once. However, before she had been able to reply, someone had caught her hand and pulled her back… She had gasped and looked up to find Sameer standing in-front of her, and he had replied on her behalf, “usne mana kiya kyunki usko main pasand aaya. Naina ki shaadi mujhse ho rahi hai… Meri honewali biwi hai woh.”

She had been astonished at the possessiveness in his tone, and had peeked around her to find Akshay in a state of scared shock. Taking pity on him, Naina had stepped beside Sameer, and had explained in a calm tone, “Akshay, I am sorry. Mujhe pata hai maine dobara milne ke liye haan bola tha. Par hum milte usse pehle Sameer ka rishta aa gaya… Hum dono ke gharwalo ko yeh rishta sahi laga, aur… Sameer aur main bhi pasand karte hai ek dusre ko. Please galat mat samajhna…”

Akshay had nodded and disappeared from there, while Sameer had scowled saying she was too polite with a boy who had tried to corner her alone. She had laughed and explained that Akshay hadn’t meant harm, rather had had just wanted to know the reason behind her refusal which was natural. And then she had asked, “agar tumko maine mana kiya hota toh tum nahi puchte.”

Something had flashed in his eyes at that, maybe some kind of pain, a recollection, but he had sighed and nodded, accepting that he would have definitely wondered about it.

Slowly over a period of days, she had gotten to know more about him… His hobbies, habits, food preferences, about his family, his experiences in hostel… No matter how much they talked, it had seemed as if it wasn’t enough for him, because he would also call her every night. What had astonished her was the fact that nothing was one way… If she asked about his preferences, he would do that too… The fact that he had always genuinely wanted to know more about her had made her feel wanted for the first time in her life.

And then finally the wedding rituals had begun, she had taken leave from college, and that had meant they couldn’t meet daily. Though he called, but once guests started arriving even that had been difficult. The wedding celebrations were no less than a festival, nothing was on a grand scale, yet to her it had felt extraordinary. Her own happiness had surprised her, and the tender feeling in her heart when Sameer had filled the partition in her hair with vermillion had filled her eyes with tears of contentment. And now she was here… His home which was now her home too, inside their room, on their bed, waiting for him to come to her…

Outside the same room, Sameer Maheshwari stood with his hand on the door, his heart thudding in a heavy rhythm, making it difficult for him to breathe… Naina… His Naina was inside the room, waiting for him… It was the first night after their wedding… Customs said that this night was for making love, for husband and wife to unite in a bond that would make them one another’s forever… But, now standing outside the room, he realized that he couldn’t do that. How could he make love to her when he hadn’t even told her yet that he loved her? How could he tell her that he loved her since almost a year now? How could he let her know that he had fallen in love with her at her brother’s wedding? How could he confess that it was him who had written those notes to her?

The memory of those days were so fresh in his mind that it might have been yesterday that she had given him that ointment, lighted the candle for him, smiled at him, fulfilled his wishes, walked out dressed in that pink salwar-kameez with open hair and bindi on her forehead. How could those memories not be fresh? After all he had survived one year just with those… He still remembered the nervous excitement that had coursed through his veins while he had waited for her near the Ganesh idol. He had checked his watch after every minute, rehearsed what he was about to tell her… He had been ready to confess his love. But as the time had ticked by indicating that fifteen minutes were up, he had started to feel the sadness creeping up inside him. He had waited even after that, arguing with himself that something or someone must have delayed her… He had paced around like an impatient tiger, but after ten more minutes, the desolation had almost brought him to his knees. He just remembered that he had taken an auto home, because his car keys were with Munna… And once he had reached home he had broken down in Nanu’s arms. He had loved and failed… He had been rejected even before he could confess his love. The devastation was too much to comprehend, and the blackness would have sucked him in, if Nanu hadn’t taken him away for few days… Naina’s memories hadn’t stopped haunting him, but the soothing greenery of Kerala had made him calm down.

He hadn’t known what to do, how to move on… But, on one evening, near a pond, Nanu had explained that moving on didn’t mean that he had to stop loving her. Moving on just meant accepting what had happened for now. If he loved her truly then there would come a time when he would be able to tell her about it… If destiny wanted them to be together then a chance would surely come. Nanu had suggested focusing on the last year of his college, and meanwhile keep an eye on the girl to see if there was a chance that she might be open to a relationship, or even friendship. When he had dishearteningly stated that she could have had at least met him once, it wasn’t like he was going to impose himself on her, Nanu had gently suggested that there could be a possibility that she was scared.

Sameer had been confused, “kya matlab?”

Nanu had sighed, “Sameer… tumne usko sirf 15 minute diye tumhare paas aane ke liye… Mujhe nahi pata woh ladki kaun hai, tum bata bhi nahi rahe ho… Par aisa bhi toh mumkin hai ke woh darr gai ho… Shayad usko laga hoga kisine mazaak kiya hai uske saath… Ya phir ho sakta hai ke shayad usko tumhara note hi late mila ho… Kitna kuch ho sakta hai Sameer… Socho zara…”

The scenarios had run through his mind, and he had started to breathe heavily at the thought that he might have missed the chance, that he had done the wrong thing. “Oh God”, he had shakily whispered, “yeh sab toh maine socha hi nahi. Ab main kya karu?”

Nanu had patted his back, “pehle toh khud ko sambhalo… Ghar wapas chalte hai, tum college wapas join karo… Meri baat maano toh abhi padhai pe dhyan do, aur sahi waqt ka intezaar karo usse wapas baat karne ke liye.”

Sameer had agreed… The discussion with Nanu had sprung a hope in his heart that maybe it was possible that she hadn’t read his note on time, or maybe she hadn’t been able to come to him because of her family, or maybe the prospect of love had scared her…

He had gone to college next day, meeting his worried friends, and seen an as usual silent Naina. Arjun hadn’t come to college as he was away for his honeymoon, and so that evening her father had come to pick her and Preeti up. Naina had been standing with a bunch of girls, talking, and he had seen a boy come up to her for notes which she had given. It was a normal incident, but her father had been enraged at the prospect of his daughter talking to some boy. The rebuke she had had to tolerate in-front of her classmates had made him pause and think about the consequences of his love confession… He had deduced that there were high chances of her refusing out of fear, or maybe even if she accepted her family would never accept. And so he had decided to wait… He had had no idea how and when he could move further or tell her about his feelings, but he had started to just keep a watch on her, ensure that she was alright. He had enjoyed the change in her dressing, the way she had started to smile more often… He hadn’t known the reason behind all these things, but he had decided to be happy along with her.

The summer vacations had been the hardest, and he had started to do daily rounds of her colony on his bike in hopes of seeing her. Someday he was blessed, someday he wasn’t… Once he had stood near the PCO booth and watched her flick her wet hair with a towel on the balcony… Even that simple sight had made him yearn for her. He had never tried to talk to her because he hadn’t been sure what would come out of his mouth. When his final year had started, he had gotten to know of another friend’s wedding, and he had decided that as soon as he graduated he would tell Nanu to take his wedding proposal to Naina’s family. Her family might be against a love marriage, but an arranged marriage with a good prospect was always welcome. And until then he had decided to truly be serious with studies and work, because if loving Naina had taught him one thing, it was that he needed to be a better version of himself. He needed to be capable of taking up responsibilities… And when the time was right he would show her how much he loved her.

Life had been smooth after that, except one day when he had almost collided with her in the corridor and she had smiled at him. He had almost forgotten his resolve and raised his hand to touch her. But the chatter of a few students behind her had jerked him out of his trance and he had left from there without a word. It had been a constant hardship to see her daily and pretend as if she was a stranger, when all he wanted to do was rush up to her, hug her and confess his feelings. His new determination to study and learn work had helped divert his mind a bit. But then, one day lightning bolt had struck him when he had heard a boy from his class, Akshay, talk to his friends that Naina’s family was looking for a match for her, and his family had sent a prospect. One of his friends had teased him about getting married, and he had blushed and said that Naina wasn’t so bad, and that they had agreed to meet again. The news had shaken up Sameer in a way he had never thought of… He had hyperventilated thinking that he was about to lose Naina, but then after a few minutes he had slowly realized that if Naina was about to be married then this was the right time for him to do what he wanted. It was a bit before he had planned it to be, but hadn’t he been waiting for Naina all this time. If getting married was the only way to be with Naina, then he was ready to get married that day itself.

He had gone home, dumped his bag, and directly told Nanu, “mujhe shaadi karni hai.”

Nanu had choked on tea, “kya? Sameer… tum theek toh ho? Yeh kya jhatke dete rehte ho… Kisi din bolte ho pyaar ho gaya, phir dil tut gaya aur ab shaadi karni hai… Kya matlab hai iska?”

Sameer had sighed, “matlab yeh Nanu ke jis ladki se main pyaar karta hun uske gharwale uske liye ladka dhund rahe hai… meri hi class ka ek ladka bhi rishta leke gaya tha, usise mujhe pata chala… Main aur wait karunga toh uske gharwale uski shaadi kahin aur karwa denge, aur woh shayad mana bhi nahi karegi… So please Nanu…”

Nanu had queried, “theek hai… main samajh raha hun… Par Sameer mujhe ladki ke baare me kuch toh batao… Rishta leke aisai nahi pahonch jaate… Kuch connection dhundna padta hai.”

“Connection hai”, Sameer had replied, “main jis ladki se pyaar karta hun uska naam hai Naina.”

Nanu’s brows had furrowed, “Naina… matlab… Arjun ki behen?”

Sameer had nodded, and then hesitated for a moment before asking, “aap toh ek-do baar mile hue hai usse… kya lagta hai aapko?”

After a moment, Nanu had chuckled, “ek-do baar nahi… bahot baar mila hun main Naina se… Uske bachpan se har saal usko award diya hai.” When Sameer had looked confused, Nanu had explained, “Naina Pragati Vidya Ka Mandir me padhti thi… jis school ka main trustee hun.”

Sameer’s eyes had lit up, “oh wow… matlab aap usko achche se jaante ho…”

Nanu had smiled, “haan… aur mujhe woh pasand hai… Tumhare liye bilkul sahi hai woh…”

Sameer had hugged his grandfather enthusiastically, “thank you Nanu… thank you…” And then had added the main request, “please yeh milna-milana jo bhi hai iss weekend se pehle karna… Kyunki weekend pe Naina uss dusre ladke se wapas milne wali hai, aur do baar milna matlab rishta almost final hona.”

Thankfully Nanu had understood the gravity of the situation, and quickly arranged a meet, and so he had found himself at Naina’s doorstep on a fine Thursday evening. When he had seen Naina dressed up like that, in heavy saree and jewelry, he had been taken aback at the look. He hadn’t understood all the preparations, and so he had asked as soon as they were alone. To his surprise she had unleashed a string of questions that had almost seemed like an accusation. His temper had spiked with each word, and when she had said that for him it was probably a joke to meet her like this he had almost blurted aloud that he loved her… Joke? For God’s sake… He had spent the last full year loving her every moment, and she was accusing him for considering this meeting as a joke. Enraged beyond words he had stopped her, and then tried to control his impulse, calm himself down… He had understood that anger wouldn’t solve anything, she needed assurance and he had to give her that… Love confession can wait, he had instead chosen to make her realize that he truly wanted to marry her, and that she was totally worth it. It had taken some time, and in the whole process he had slowly realized that her anger, the way she had talked to him without being shy, her confessions of insecurities, everything meant that there was something from her side too… Maybe she didn’t understand it, but he was sure that he was different for her… Naina was a shy girl who chose not to speak, yet she had argued with him and that had ensured that she had felt an inherent right to do so… He had been ensured that there were some latent feelings inside her that she wasn’t sure of, and it was up to him to at least get her to believe in him, in the possibility of them being happily married. And finally at the end of the conversation when she had accepted that he was different, and that she was ready to marry him he had almost hugged her out of elation.

Their families had of course been happy, and somehow even his mother had found time to know about his wedding and surprisingly be happy about it. He had jumped at the chance of picking and dropping Naina for college; even though he did want to ensure that her studies didn’t stop, he had known that this was the best opportunity to get to know her more. He had been happy when she had wanted to know about his life too, and never before had he been so free with information about himself and his choices. He had wanted to hold her hand, hug her, go one proper dates with her, but he had known that her family wouldn’t allow it, and so he had decided that all those plans would be pushed to post-wedding. And today they had finally gotten married… She was his… All he had to do was open the door and go inside. She would be waiting for him, accepting whatever he wanted because he was her husband. If he hugged her she wouldn’t object, if he touched her she wouldn’t mind, because for her it was now his right… But he realized that he couldn’t do that… He wanted the right to be freely given, not because of the wedding bond, but because she wanted it. Also, he couldn’t tell her directly about this last one year, so he would have to find a way to first make her believe that he loved her, and then he could divulge his secret.

Slowly, taking a deep breath, he turned the knob and pushed the door open. As expected she was on the bed, still in the wedding lehenga, waiting for him with a veil over her head. Had she noticed the jasmine? He closed and locked the door, feeling the need to be alone with her, and walked over slowly to the bed. The fragrance of night jasmine at the window almost overpowered the atmosphere, and he saw her toes curl over the bedsheet, as if she was nervous or restless. He swallowed once, parting the flowers to sit on the bed, and then slowly lifted her veil, folding it over her head. She glanced up once, then immediately lowered her eyes, and he smiled, staring at her, mesmerized by her just like that day when he had realized he had fallen in love. God… She looked so beautiful in this bridal dress. It was red, not pink, but still she managed to look stunning. The sindur on her head, the glittering mangalsutra around her neck, everything drew him in. He had a vague thought that she was his imagination, he was dreaming, and so he lifted his hand, just to touch her once, to make sure that she was really here…

But before he could touch her cheek, she muttered, “suno…”

He paused, dragging in a breath, and then withdrew his hand with great difficulty, “hmm… kya hua? Kuch chahiye?

She shook her head, bit her lip in nervousness, and then said, “Sameer… main tumhari bahot respect karti hun… Jab hum shaadi ke liye mile, jis tarah tumne mere gusse ko, meri uljhan ko samjha aur mujhe apna nazariya samajhne me madad ki, woh mujhe bahot achcha laga tha… Phir itne din, college saath aate-jaate, tumse baate karke yeh samajh aa gaya ke tum bahot achche insaan ho… mujhe aur meri soch ko samajhte ho…”

He closed his eyes and sighed, thinking that he knew where this was going, “Naina… main samajhta hun ke hamari arrange marriage hui hai… Rishta jud gaya hai par bana nahi hai… Tum fikar mat karo, main tumpe koi zor nahi dalunga, naa hi tumse kuch aisa mangunga jiska tumhe man na ho… Hum dheere-dheere aage badhenge, jab tum chahogi, jaise tum chahogi… Abhi bhi, main kuch kar nahi raha tha, main bas ek baar tumhe choonke dekhna chahta tha ke kahin tum sirf mera sapna toh nahi ho…”

She looked up at this, and saw him sitting right in-front of her, his eyes still closed, his hand fisted on the bedsheet as if he didn’t quite know what to do with them, or maybe that was his way to control himself from touching her. She hadn’t even thought of saying no for tonight, or stopping him because her thoughts hadn’t even ventured in that area… All she had remembered was the ladies, especially Chachiji and Taiji instructing her to make her husband happy and not say no to anything. It was true that she didn’t know everything, just a few things here and there, and she ought to have been scared with the prospect of first night, and what he might do… But her thoughts after coming into this room had been occupied with the past, not the future… And there was one thing that she needed to tell him before they stepped into the journey of their married life. Yet it warmed her heart that he understood that she might not know things, or be scared, and so he was trying to assure her that he was ready to wait for everything until she was ready… All he had wanted was to touch her…

Gathering some courage, she extended a trembling hand, and touched the back of his fisted palm… The small touch was almost electrifying for her insides, and it seemed he was also affected because he sucked in a sharp breath and turned to look at her. His eyes were slightly big with surprise, and he hoarsely whispered, “Naina…”

Her cheeks tinged with color at her own act, but she determinedly said, “main… main tumhe rok nahi rahi thi… Bas… hum iss naye safar ki shuruwat kare usse pehle kuch batana tha tumko… Itne din himmat nahi hui, hamesha sochti thi ke pata nahi tum kya sochoge, par aaj ab aur nahi chupa sakti.”

His brows drew in confusion, “kya batana chahti ho aisa toh…?”

She withdrew her hand from him, her eyes lowered, and her voice shook a bit as she informed, “ek saal pehle Arjun bhaiya ki shaadi me koi toh tha jo mujhe notes likhke bhejta tha… Tilak ke din maine frock pehna tha, tab Taiji ne mujhe daanta, aur wahin se yeh silsila shuru hua. Pehle mujhe laga koi mazak kar raha hai mere saath, par phir woh notes achche lagne lage, kyunki usse mera mood achcha ho jaata tha, meri uljhan sulajh jaati thi. Sangeet ke din mujhe jo note mila usse pata chala ke yeh sab koi ladka likh raha hai, phir bhi maine woh notes phenke nahi… Shaadi ke din intezaar karti rahi subah se ke kahin se kagaz ka ek chota sa tukda aake girega, aur aaya bhi… Par phir raat ko…”

He had almost stopped breathing when she had started to tell him about the notes… Good lord… He had never imagined that she would tell him… He had understood then that those notes had meant something to her, but now he knew for sure… What did she say? She had waited for his note on the day of wedding… Was Nanu right then? Had she received his note too late? Or had she been afraid?

Curious to know more, he asked, “raat ko?”

She nervously continued, “Sameer… please galat mat samajhna, par woh notes mere liye mere dard pe marham jaise ban gaye the… Shaadi ke din raat ko mujhe jo note mila usme uss ladke ne likha tha ke woh mujhse pyaar karta hai, aur ek baar mujhse milke yeh baat mujhe batana chahta hai… Usne likha tha ke woh chahta hai ke main use dekh lu ek baar…”

He remembered exactly what he had written in every note, and felt a bit surprised by the fact that even though she was telling him about the notes, she wasn’t divulging much about the contents… She didn’t know who the boy was, yet was still protecting his secret… Suddenly he felt an irrational surge of jealousy… He mentally smacked himself at that… He knew that he was the boy she was talking about, then why was the need to feel jealous? Maybe because she didn’t know but was still protecting the secret… did she have the notes with her still?

Pushing the absurd thoughts aside, he asked, “tum mili usse?” She shook her head, and he queried further, “tum dekhna nahi chahti thi ke woh kaun hai?”

Taking another deep breath, she confessed, “haan… dekhna chahti thi… milna chahti thi… Par pehle toh woh akhri note padhke main soch hi nai paai ke kya karu… Phir jab dekha usne sirf 15 minute wait karega likha hai, toh main turant jaane lagi… Par tabhi Taiji ne mujhe rok liya aur mandap me bhabhi ki madad karne bitha diya… Badi mushkil se aadhe ghante baad mauka mila jaaneka, lekin jab main wahan pahonchi tab tak woh jaa chuka tha.”

She had come to meet him… It seemed that this information added a new vigor in him… He had mattered to her then. But he still had questions, “tum bhi usse pyaar karti thi?”

She smiled at that, “nahi… mujhe nahi pata main kya feel karti thi… Kuch tha, par woh pyaar nahi tha… Usne mujhe dekha tha, kuch had tak mujhe samajhta tha, isiliye shayad woh mujhse pyaar karta tha…  Par main toh usko jaanti tak nahi thi… sirf kuch notes se pyaar kaise hota? Aur maine socha tha ke usko milke yahi baat samjhaungi… Milna zaroor chahti thi kyunki main samajh gai thi ke agar uske feelings sach hai toh mere naa jaane se uska dil tut jayega, aur jab usne mere dukhte dil pe marham lagaya toh main uska dil kaise tod sakti thi. Lekin jab mil nahi paai toh mujhe bhi ek ajeeb sa dard hua… Jaise maano maine koi mauka kho diya ho. Kabhi kabhi sochti hun ke agar uss din Taiji ne roka nahi hota, aur main usse mil paati toh, kya pata aaj main kahan hoti…”

He felt happy on knowing this… It was true, he hadn’t expected her to love him, all he had wanted was for her to meet him so that he could confess his feelings. He softly prodded, “agar woh tumhari zindagi me wapas aa gaya toh?”

She shook her head, “woh sirf ek chota sa daur tha Sameer… Main tumhe batana chahti thi kyunki mujhe yeh zaroori laga, aur tumhara haq hai mere baare me janneka. Pehle thoda darr lagta tha, par agar aaj bhi nahi batati toh aisa lagta ke main cheating kar rahi hun. Aur haan… Agar woh ladka mujhe ab milta hai toh main usko thank you bolna chahungi uss waqt mujhe hasane ke liye, mujhe samajhne ke liye… sorry bolna chahungi wahan usse milne naa aa paane ke liye, aur usko dard dene ke liye… aur saath hi saath usko yeh bhi bataungi ke ab meri shaadi ho gayi hai ek bahot hi achche insaan ke saath… Happily married.”

He smiled at her, “happily married? Hamari shaadi aaj hi hui hai… Tumhe kaise pata ke happy hi hoga?”

“Dil keh raha hai”, she softly replied, “waise bhi rishta kaisa hoga yeh toh uss rishte me bandhe logo pe nirbhar karta hai na…”

His heart thudded with happiness at this, and then he asked his final question, “woh notes ab tak hai tumhare paas?”

She bit her lip again, and some apprehension entered her eyes as she accepted, “haan… ek saal se sambhalke rakhe hai… Pata nahi kyun kabhi phenk nahi paai. Kisiki dil ki baate hai woh… Par ab unhe rakhna sahi nahi hoga shayad… Tum dekhna chahte ho?”

“Nahi”, he murmured, staring at her for a moment, and then stood up, “uh… mujhe kuch kaam yaad aa gaya. Tum change karlo na… Yeh sab bhaari kapde aur zevar pehenke thodi na sone wali ho… Ghar ke kapde pehen lo… Main aata hun thodi der me.”

She watched him leave the room, extremely puzzled at his sudden departure, and wondered what had happened. Slowly, she stood up from the bed, took out some clothes, and then went inside the bathroom to change as he had asked. But all she could think of how he had left… Maybe she shouldn’t have told all of these to him today… maybe she should have told him before the wedding… God… She was so stupid… What man would like his wife to talk about another man on the first night of wedding… He must have come to her with some expectaions… He must have been happily anticipating the night… But she had gone ahead and spoiled everything… As she wiped her face clean of makeup, sudden tears sprung in her eyes. Would he be angry on her? Would he hate her? He had said he had some work; that meant he would come back… right? He wouldn’t leave her alone tonight…  What if he did? What if he was so upset that he didn’t come back to their room tonight?

Disheartened with the several scenarios in her mind, she dully changed into a red chikan salwar-kameez… Preeti had packed some night gowns for her, but she had bypassed them and chosed a simple salwar-kameez instead. What she wore didn’t really matter anymore because she had managed to totally mess up tonight. Taiji was right; she was ill-fated, cursed… She really couldn’t do one single thing right. Sameer was good… A kind-hearted, compassionate, protective life-partner… He even cared for her, much more than she had expected anyone to… And instead of giving him happiness, she had managed to irk him, and maybe even hurt him. She didn’t know what to do… Was it so bad that he might think of leaving her? No… Sameer wouldn’t desert her… But what if he stopped caring?

In this past one month she had slowly started to care for him, like him… She had gone on, from just accepting his marriage proposal, to genuinely wanting to get married to him… He had started to matter to her much more and sooner than she had thought he would… Maybe that was why the prospect of being close to him tonight hadn’t scared her. But now he was gone… And one seeing him leave she had realized that all she wanted was to be with him… She didn’t know what all happened on first night, a kiss for sure, and she knew he would touch her… But what was this touch, how did it happen, how it would feel, she didn’t know… Yet she hadn’t felt scared, because this was the same person who had barely touched her even though he had several opportunities in that one month. She had seen couples in their college spend intimate moments together; she had seen her brother and her bhabhi roam around hand-in-hand, and even hug before wedding; she had heard of couples who had kissed before wedding. But Sameer had never asked anything from her… Even tonight he had said he was ready to wait until she was okay with everything. But the way he had left hurt her immensely, and in that moment, inside the bathroom, as she looked at her own reflection, at the vermillion on her head, at the mangalsutra around her neck, she was shaken by the realization that she had not just started to like Sameer but rather she had started to love him… That’s why hiding about those notes had felt like cheating, that’s why she was not afraid at the prospect of him touching her, that’s why she felt the pain in her heart at the thought of him being upset with her.

Oh God… She loved Sameer… she was in love with her husband… But such was her fate that she couldn’t even tell him… She wanted to hold his hand and tell him about her feelings, she wanted him to tell her that maybe he loved her too, or maybe he could start to love her in future… She wanted him to hold her, truly hold her… In that moment, she felt an incredible need to be captive in his arms, and for him to tell her that everything was alright and that he wasn’t angry on her. She closed her eyes, and sighed… None of this was happening tonight… She just hoped that he would indeed come back so she could apologize to him. Trying to control her tears, she stepped out of the bathroom, kept her folded lehenga on a chair, and then looked around at the empty room dispiritedly. Suddenly, her eyes landed on a small idol of Ganeshji on the bedside table… That was new… That hadn’t been there before… Cautiously she inched towards the bed, and her breath hitched on seeing a note sticking out from beneath the idol.

Hall ke main gate ke wahan jo Ganeshji ki murti hai wahan main tumhara intezaar kar raha hun…

She recalled the words in the note a year ago, and then immediately cursed herself for thinking about it. But what was this note doing here? Who had kept it? Sameer…? Did he come in and left again? Was this to tell her that he didn’t appreciate what happened today and that he won’t be here with her? Her hands trembled as she pulled out the folded paper, and opened it to read.

“I guess ab pink ke saath saath red bhi mera favorite color ban gaya hai… Kyunki pink me toh tum hamesha khoobsurat lagti ho, aur red me meri dulhan banke aai ho… Kabhi tumhe mehndi ke design ka idea diya tha aur aaj mere naam ki mehndi hai tumhare haatho pe. Uss din jab tumne meri maang puri ki aur khule baal me aai mere saamne tabse main tumhe chahne laga… Tumhari bindi ki chamak ne meri dil ki dhadkanein tezz kardi… Tumhari badi badi aankhon me hamesha ke liye qaid ho gaya… Arjun ke sangeet ke din maine tumhara jhootha cola piya tha, aur ab hamari shaadi ke din humne ek hi thaali me se khana khaya… Baraat me tumse kaha tha ke kabhi kabhi hum goldspot bhi share karenge, aur ab main tumhare saath meri poori zindagi share karna chahta hun… Agar tum uss din Ganeshji ke wahan pe uss ladke se milne aati toh bhi aaj tum yahi hoti mere saath… Mrs. Naina Sameer Maheshwari… Kyunki main toh peechle ek saal se Naina ka Sameer banke hi jee raha hun.”

Her hands shook so much that her fingers went lax, and the note fluttered to the floor at the same time as a deep yearning whisper escaped her lips, “Sameer…”

There was small humming sound from behind her, and she turned to look… Sameer was standing near the locked door of their room, a small smile playing on his lips and his eyes gliterring with emotions. Their eyes met, and they stood staring at each other for a long moment… After few minutes each of them took a step forward, and then she just let go of everything and rushed to him… He opened his arms just in time for her to almost crash into him, and then bliss enveloped him as he held her in his embrace. His Naina… His wife… She was finally in his arms, and he closed his eyes, tightening his hold as much as he could. She clutched at his back, trying to get closer yet, even though there was no space between them…

Time lost all meaning for them as they savored the moments their heart had yearned for… Her softness, her fragrance enticed him… His warmth, the feel of his hard body lured her… His palms wandered over her back, sinking in her open hair… She turned her head, inhaling his scent, listening to his thundering heartbeats… They didn’t know how long they stood there like that, but then suddenly he parted from her and lifted her in his arms… She gazed at him in surprise, automatically looping her arm around his neck, but didn’t object as he carried her to the bed…

Placing her on it, he sat next to her, facing her, and then simply confessed, “I love you Naina… Peechle ek saal se taras raha tha tumse yeh kehne ke liye. Uss din jab tum aai nahi toh aisa laga ke kisine mere dil se meri dhadkan hi alag kar di ho… Main bilkul tut sa gaya tha… Agar Nanu ne samjhaya nahi hota toh pata nai kya hota… Isiliye main wapas aaya, socha mauka dekhke tumse college me baat karunga… Par jis din aaya, usi din dekha ke tumhare papa tumhe sirf ek ladke se baat karne pe daant rahe hai. Isi wajah se maine kabhi tumse izhaar nahi kiya, sochta tha tum dar ke maare mana na kardo, ya tumhare family me koi problem na ho jaaye… Maine socha mera college khatam honeke baad main tumhare liye rishta bhejunga, par phir ek din Akshay ko baat karte hue suna… aur mujhse raha nahi gaya… Naina, main…”

She placed her hand over his mouth, stopping his continuous tale, “jaanti hun bahot kuch hoga batane ke liye hum dono ke paas… Par abhi iss waqt mujhe aur kuch nahi sunna… Sameer main bahot darr gai thi… mujhe laga tum naraaz hoke chale gaye… mujhe laga maine tumhe kho diya…”

“Naina”, he muttered in shock on seeing her tearful eyes, and pulled her back in his arms, “tum pagal ho kya… main kabhi tumhe chodke nahi jaunga… I love you…”

Her breath hitched, and she hiccupped, “I love you too Sameer.”

He froze, totally stilled, even his breath stopped… Slowly drawing back from her, he searched her eyes, “kya kaha tumne?”

She smiled through her tears, “I love you too… Pata nahi kab aur kaise ho gaya… Mujhe lagta tha ke tumhe pasand karne lagi hun… Par aaj tumahre jaane ke baad, jab bathroom me change kar rahi thi tab samajh aaya ke main sirf tumhe pasand nahi karti balke tumse pyaar karne lagi hun.”

Happiness and possessiveness sparkled in the depth of his eyes, as he cupped her face and demanded, “phirse bolo… ek baar aur.”

She placed her hand over his, and acquiesced, “I love you Sameer.”

He gazed at her for half a minute, and then slowly leaned forward… Her eyes followed his movement, lifting up to watch his throat as he softly kissed her forehead, a promise of lifetime and more. She closed her eyes then, waiting, ready to yield, but he simply brushed tender kisses on her eyes and then hugged her again, whispering how much he loved her.

They sat on the bed, with her enclosed in his arms, as they talked… He played with her hair smelling the scent of her shampoo; with her hands, tracing the rounded nails that now sported a wicked red nail-paint. She felt secure in his embrace, free to divulge anything and everything he asked about her life, cherishing the way he would occasionally drop a kiss on the side of her head. He got to know that the jasmine fragrance that exuded from her was not her shampoo, but in fact ittar that she liked to apply on her pulse points. She got to know he had started noticing small things about her from their first proper meet, and had been captivated by her eyes. Their was a lifetime to know more, to explore more, but that night they just experienced a sense of deep contentment as they finally fell asleep in each others arms, their hearts light with the promise of tomorrow.

THE END